Danny
by starrytwilightgirl
Summary: Preparations are going on for Edward and Bella’s wedding, only four weeks away! Danny, Bella’s cousin and best-est friend has come to help out. But, what happens when Bella is not the one and Edward finds a deeper connection? Rated M for future lemons. OC
1. Chapter 1 The Prophecy

Summary: Preparations are going on for Edward and Bella's wedding, only four weeks away! Danny, Bella's cousin and best-est friend has come to help out. But, what happens when Bella is not the one and Edward finds a deeper connection?

**Chapter 1- The Prophecy**

"We are about to land in Seattle, Washington. Passengers, please buckle your seatbelts and flight attendants, please prepare for landing."

I jerked out of my nap as the pilot finished his announcement over the intercom and the ding of the seatbelt sign went on over my head. I yawned and tried to recollect my thoughts. _Where was I again?_

_"…Seattle, Washington..."_ The pilot's words flashed through my mind. Everything clicked. _Seattle… Forks… Bella… WEDDING!_ I jumped in my seat with excitement, as if I were just electrocuted. The elderly lady who sat to my left looked at me, startled.

"Is anything wrong, dearie?"

"Oh no, ma'am," I answered apologetically, truly sorry that I had frightened her, "I just remembered something, that's all." The old dear smiled and nodded. She patted my hand as if to say that it was okay, she didn't mind. I had grown quite fond of her during this trip. She had been my companion during this whole, too-long, unbearable six hour flight. I have NEVER had to sit still for that long. I hated waiting and I wanted everything to go faster faster faster!

I noticed that the elderly lady sitting next to me was still looking at me as if she were waiting for something. _What's she waiting for?_ I wracked my brain for what I had been doing before I fell asleep and I blushed to remember that it was while the old lady had been telling me a story that I had fallen asleep, and now, I don't remember any of it.

"I'm sorry," I apologized, "I fell asleep while you were talking to me, didn't I? God, I'm so sorry. That was very rude of me. Your story was very interesting, but it's just that I didn't sleep a wink last night. You see my cousin's wedding is coming up and I'm going to visit her and I'm just so excited for her and…" I rambled, a bad habit of mine that happens whenever I'm agitated.

"Oh dear, don't worry about it, I already know," the old woman replied.

"You do?" I asked, confused, then a light bulb went on over my head, "Oh! I must have told you before, haven't I?"

"No," she said, a knowing twinkle in her eye. Still confused, I decided to drop it and just smiled back at her.

Suddenly, there was a jolt as the plane touched down on the runway and I bounced so high in my seat, my head almost crashed into the ceiling (which was a rather hard thing to do since I was only one or two inches above five feet). I looked down and saw that I had forgotten to reattach my seatbelt.

"Oops," I said. Well, no harm, no foul, I thought. The plane cruised down the runway and stopped as it neared our gate. I was bubbling with anticipation to see Bella. I hadn't seen her since sophomore year, when I moved to the east coast, where my mom, Renée's sister, had been transferred. It was a sad parting. Bella and I had been friends forever, since we were born. Our moms had taken Lamaze classes together.

Bella and I were a lot alike (clumsy for one thing) but are also so different. We were both slender, but not athletic (God forbid me playing sports of any kind- what a horror THAT would be!), short, and extremely pale with a heart shaped face, but that's where the resemblance ended. I had green eyes to Bella's brown, dark wavy auburn hair to Bella's pin straight rich chocolate, and what everyone says is a Grecian nose to Bella's cute button. Our personalities were also different. Bella was serious, always thinking things through, like my mom, while I was light-hearted, easy-going, and impulsive, like Renée. It was a constant family joke that we were switched at birth.

But now, adding to the differences, Bella was getting married, and not JUST getting married, but getting married to a VAMPIRE! She had called me a week ago, telling me the news. I was the only one who she was sure would believe she wasn't crazy when she said that her fiancée was a vampire. And believe her I did. Bella wasn't one to lie (something she had never been good at) or to make things up, or to have flights of imagination. Those were my realms of expertise. If Bella said her groom was a vampire, then he was a vampire.

Don't get me wrong, I was a little worried about her at first, because of the whole vampire thing and the whole marrying at 18 thing (something we both had sworn we would never do). But after she assured me that (1) he only drank animal blood and (2) he would never hurt her, I was relieved of my first fear. And after I heard the in love tone of her voice and saw the picture she sent me of her and Edward (who is GORGEOUS by the way, as she told me all vampire supposedly are), I was calmed of the second. I was happy for her. She had more luck in guys than I had. My thoughts darkened as I thought of Dexter, that cheating, rotten, scoundrel. But I pushed him out of my mind. I should be thinking of Bella now, not my own problems.

"Um, I'm sorry folks, but we might be delayed a while. Someone on the plane ahead of us brought a pet python onboard and now it's escaped its cage and is loose on the plane. Officials are currently looking for it. We're sorry for any inconvenience."

I groaned, along with 99 of all the other passengers. I HATED waiting. _Grrrr… why do people do such stupid things?!_ But, I stopped my whining as I remembered that I was just as likely to do the same stupid things. I huffed in frustration.

The grandmotherly lady that sat next to me, Madame Angle, I remembered (pronounced AHN-gluh – she was French) smiled at me dotingly, making me feel like a five year old again, going on a trip with my indulgent granny.

"Not fond of waiting?" she asked in her slight French accent.

"Ha! NO!" I said.

"Well, let's do something to pass the time. I know! I'll read your future! I was quite the fortune-teller in my day, you know!"

"Uh – okay, sure!" I was up for anything at this point.

"Okay, give me your hand." I stuck it out almost hitting Madame on the nose. Guess I forgot my ADD meds today…

"Oops, sorry," I grimaced, "I'm just a little hyperactive right now."

"That's alright, dear. Now let me see…" She took my palm and eyes closed, started tracing it, first along the creases and then in circles. I giggled as it kind of tickled. Then, her eyes drifted open and she started vibrating like a tuning fork. Only the whites of her eyes showed. _This is so not normal. Is she having a seizure?_

"Um… Madame Angle?" No response. I tried to pull my hand toward me but she tightened her hold on it in a vice-like grip and I couldn't get it free. "Madame Angle?" With my free hand, I tapped her on the hand that was gripping mine, but she didn't budge. All of a sudden she stopped, and her eyes rolled forward so that they were facing the right way. She released my hand and pointed at me, her gaze a glassy stare.

"You will find anguish and love in someone that you did not expect. Proceed cautiously, for this relationship will be shaky in the beginning, but will grow stronger and stronger, as a sprig grows into a mighty oak. You will die soon- and painfully- but you will be around for an eternity. Beware of a wolf at the beach. He will destroy you. But, you will survive and rise up again as a new being, like a phoenix does from the flames that destroy it."

Madame Angle shuddered and then opened her eyes. I saw my wide-eyed, open-mouthed reflection in her blue eyes, clear as a pond. She smiled at me, as if nothing unusual had happened. I looked around to see if anyone had noticed what had just occurred but no one was looking our way. In fact, everyone was just getting up, ready to get off the plane. It seems as if we had arrived at the gate during the bizarre event I had just witnessed. I looked back at Madame Angle, only to find she was gone.

"Whuh – what…" I stuttered. I whipped my head around, wondering where she had gone, but there was no sign of her. She couldn't possibly have gotten off the plane that fast, could she? There was such a humongous line of people waiting to get off. I tapped the man in front of me on the shoulder.

"Excuse me, sir. Have you seen the elderly lady sitting next to me? She was wearing white pants with a white blazer and she had snow white hair."

The man gave me a strange look, "Uh, you were sitting by yourself the whole flight, miss."

"That's impossible, there was an elderly lady sitting right next to me the whole flight! She never moved or anything!"

Now, the man just looked concerned. "Are you sure you're alright, miss? Maybe we need to call over the flight attendant…" I couldn't believe it. This man thought I was nuts! Madame Angle was next to me the whole flight! While the man continued to stare at me, I noticed that his gaze was growing increasingly more fearful, as if I were some crazed lunatic on drugs or something. So I did the only thing I could do. Disregard whatever was going on.

"Oh, I must have been dreaming then." The man relaxed and smiled at me in relief.

"Yes, this was a rather long flight. I expect you must be tired." I nodded absent-mindedly and started to collect my carry-ons from the overhead bins. I tried to forget about the old woman, but I couldn't get her words out of my head.

_"…you will die soon – and painfully…"_

_**Hey everyone, Starrytwilightgirl here. This is my first fanfic so be nice to me, okay? Review, review, review and I swear I will have more chapters up by the end of next week. Love ya!**_


	2. Chapter 2 The Arrival

Chapter 2- The Arrival

**Chapter 2- The Arrival**

I walked past the gate, searching the crowds for Bella's familiar face. I had decided to put the old woman out of my mind and try to forget about her. I didn't want anything to read on my face when Bella saw me. She didn't need to be burdened by my troubles.

I kept on walking, looking for Bella, when I spotted her. But she wasn't alone. Charlie and Edward were there. My uncle Charlie looked exactly the same as the last time I'd seen him, some eight years ago, when I had visited Forks with Bella. However, Edward seemed rather stiff. His mouth was set and for some reason, he seemed angry. _Does he not want me here?_

"Hey, kiddo!" Charlie said, coming over with Bella to give me a huge hug. Edward stayed where he was. "How's my favorite niece?"

"Uncle Charlie! I'm your ONLY niece!" I said, laughing.

"Doesn't matter," Charlie replied. He held me at arms length.

"Look at you! You've grown so much! The last time I saw you, you were still a little girl!"

"Uncle Charlie!" I said, horrified at seeing tears in his eyes, "You're not gonna CRY are you?"

"Both of my little girls are growing up so fast!" he said.

"Uncle Charlie!" I groaned, at the same time that Bella said "Daaa-aaad…" We looked at each other and giggled. We always were saying things at the same time. Bella hugged me.

"It's good to have you here, Danny!" she whispered into my ear, "I'm drowning in all this wedding stuff. This is your area of wisdom. You always were the creative one. And hey," she joked, "Give you a wig and some contacts and maybe you can go to those grueling wedding planning sessions for me!"

I laughed. We always were switching around. We had bought cheap wigs and borrowed some color contacts when we were in fifth grade and did a switcheroo. I went to Bella's choir class for her, since they were having solo day and Bella was scared to death of singing by herself, and she went to math class for me, since I had a quiz that day and was in NO WAY prepared, while Bella had studied all weekend. It had almost worked until I heard the queen bee of our elementary school saying something about me behind my back and I turned around and responded with a "NO I DID NOT!" Needless to say, Bella and I were in some deep doggy doo-doo that day.

Suddenly, a voice spoke out, "They'll never fool Alice." Without hearing his voice before, I knew it to be Edward.

I looked at him, but he was still standing there, exactly as he was when I first saw him.

"Alice? Who's Alice?" I asked him.

"I didn't say anything," he said, rather taken aback and seemingly momentarily forgetting about what he had against me.

"Yes you did," I replied. I hated when people contradicted me when I KNEW I was right. "You said that we'll never fool Alice." His eyes widened, probably 'cause he knew I had caught him in his lie and there was an awkward pause where everything seemed to quiet down.

Then, Bella's voice broke the silence, "Um…Danny. He really didn't say anything."

"Well then, who said that we'll never fool Alice?" I asked.

"I don't know. Maybe it was just someone passing by," said Bella. She went back to Edward's side.

"But it is rather strange, that someone said we'll never fool Alice just as we were talking about a switcheroo," she mused, "Eh – it's probably just coincidence, right Edward?" Bella looked at him, but he had turned into a statue once again.

"Are you okay?" she asked him.

"I'm fine," he said, forcing a smile on his face. I suppose that Bella convinced herself that Edward was just having a weird moment or something because she gave him a kiss on the cheek and started to lead me toward the gate. We collected my bags and headed out to Charlie's cruiser. As we neared the car, Edward stopped and hesitated.

"Bella, you go on with Charlie and… Danny" Edward began, seeming having to spit my name out, "I'm going to run home." Run home? How is he going to run home? Even by car, Forks is two hours away. Maybe he lives in Seattle…

"What's wrong?" Bella asked him, instantly worried. I sighed, always the same Bella, worrying when there was nothing to worry about. It was clear that Edward was just being a butthead and decided that he didn't like me before he even knew me. He probably just didn't want to be stuck with me less than two feet away for the two hours it'll take to drive to Forks. I decided at that moment that I wouldn't like him either if he didn't like me. _I'll just have to hide it from Bella. She'll be hurt if she knew. No reason to stress her out even more._

Edward's expression softened when he took in Bella's distressed countenance, something that I didn't think I'd see considering his rock-hard expression just five seconds earlier.

"I just need to run, Bella. There's nothing to worry about." He said, taking her face between his hands ever so gently, as if she were made of bubble-stuff and could pop at any given moment. Well, I had to give him props for caring about her. I still didn't like him though. Still, seeing them made me sigh_. I wish I had someone like that who cared so much about me._ Edward looked at me with an expression on his face which was something like pity mixed with something else I couldn't identify, which made me angrier at him. I didn't need the pity of someone who couldn't even stand to be in the same car as me!

"You run along. I'll meet you at my house," he told Bella, who looked a little bit relieved. I noticed that the invitation didn't include me.

"Okay," Bella whispered softly. He kissed her on the forehead and disappeared, seemingly vanishing into thin air, which reminded me of the old lady on the plane again. _Was she a vampire, too?_ Then, I remembered how the man in front of me had never seen her. _Even if she was a vampire, she surely would have been seen… wouldn't she?_ I quickly crammed the thoughts back into the back of my head as Bella turned around.

"Ready to go?" she asked.

"Ohhhhh, yeah," I said, relaxing now that Edward had gone. That man – or vampire, I guess - makes me tense.


	3. Chapter 3 Reconnecting

Chapter 3- Reconnecting

**Chapter 3- Reconnecting**

Trees whizzed by as Bella and I sat in the back of Charlie's cruiser.

"So, how have you been?" Bella asked, "I'm sorry that we haven't been in touch for a while. Things have been… rather crazy around here ever since I moved here."

"I know!" I said, "Renée told us everything! You scared us, Bells, what with your cliff diving and falling out of hotel windows and becoming a comatose zombie. Or at least that's how Renée described it. Even _**I**_ haven't gotten into that much trouble these past two years. You really should be more careful, Bella."

Bella laughed, "And this coming from the girl who wanted to go sky-diving with Renée."

"Well, I just don't want to lose my best friend in the whole wide world." For some reason, Bella looked rather stricken after I said this, immediately putting me on the alert.

"Bella?" I asked. She looked at me and shook her head, looking at Charlie.

"I'll tell you later," she said. I looked back at her puzzled.

"Well, since you've already heard so much about what I've been doing, what about you?" Bella asked. "Where are you going this fall?"

"Well, after two interviews, five campus visits, and re-editing my apps essay about 300 times, Harvard accepted me into its pre-med program." I said. "I'm so glad it's over. Getting in was harder than not getting a sunburn when we go to the beach." Bella laughed, recalling how no matter how much sunscreen we put on, we would always get sunburn when we were out in the sun for more than 15 minutes.

"I'm so proud of you," she said. "But what about Dexter? How are you going to deal with a long-distance relationship." My stomach tightened. I forgot that she knew about Dexter.

"Sadly, or actually happily, Dexter and I are no longer a couple." I informed stiffly.

"What happened?"

"I walked in on him making out with, not one, but two girls."

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry," Bella gasped. She looked so sad that I felt bad.

"Don't be. It's a good thing. I don't want to be stuck with a creep like that anyway." I reassured her.

"What did you do?" Bella whispered. My temper tantrums were known throughout the family to be pretty spectacular.

"Oh the usual," I grinned, "I threw a fit and kicked his butt." Bella laughed.

"I would've liked to see that," she said.

"Well, it was pretty amazing," I said, "except for the fact that I tripped on my way out the door." Bella laughed again. She knew as much as I do how it is to be so klutzy.

As we continued to talk and reminisce, I felt surprisingly at home. I figured that I would start to miss my mom by now, but all I felt was a sense of belonging.


	4. Chapter 4 Meeting the Family

Chapter 4- Meeting the Family

**Chapter 4- Meeting the Family**

After two hours of chatting in the back seat of Charlie's cruiser, Bella and I finally arrived at Forks. As we stepped out of the car and I beheld the house for the first time, my jaw dropped. It was beautiful.

"Geez, Bells," I gasped, not noticing that Charlie had left in the cruiser, "did Charlie win the lottery or something? This house must've cost him a fortune! When did he move anyways?"

Bella laughed, "This isn't Charlie's house. He still lives at his old place. This is Edward's and his family's house." Realization hit me like a punch in the stomach.

"But… but… are you sure they're expecting me right now. I mean, I wouldn't want to intrude. I thought Edward was just talking about you." I stammered. There was no way that I was setting foot in that house if one of the owners didn't want me to. Damn Edward. He was destroying my day.

"You always were so silly, Danny. Of course they do! They want to meet you. All of them," said Bella, steering me towards the front door. Before I knew it, I was inside, staring at six vampires and Edward, all inhumanly beautiful, who had welcoming smiles on their faces. Edward started towards Bella, but then stopped when he spotted me. He slowly backed up to where he was standing before, beside a pixie-like girl, who was bouncing on her toes and looked like a racehorse straining at the start.

"Hello, Bella," the vampire who looked like a movie star from Hollywood's golden age said, "You're back pretty soon. And you brought your cousin with you!" He smiled warmly at me. His smile calmed my fears. At least there was one vampire who didn't hate me.

"Hi." I replied, "It's very nice to meet you. My name is Danny."

"_Danny_?" a huge muscular vampire said incredulously, "Isn't that a guy's name?" The beautiful blonde girl next to him elbowed him.

"Ouch," he said, "What was that for, Rose?"

"For being an idiot!" she hissed. "Don't make me look bad in front of our future cousin-in-law, Emmett!"

I stifled my laughter and said, "Danny is short for Danielle, actually."

The one named Emmett spoke again, this time to Bella, "Geez Bella, what's with your family and shortening your names?"

Rose elbowed him again.

The woman standing next to the movie star man spoke up.

"Settle down, kids. We have a guest here! And we have yet to introduce ourselves." She turned back to me and gave me a breath-taking smile, starting the introductions.

"It's nice to have you here Danny. I'm Esme, and this here is Carlisle," she said indicating the movie star standing next to her.

"And these," she continued, "are my kids. You've already met Emmett and Rosalie. And of course, Edward." The beautiful blonde girl and the bear-like guy smiled and nodded at me. Edward just inclined his head in the stiffest and tiniest of nods. _Stupid vampire._ For some reason, something seemed to amuse him, because his lips curved up in the tiniest of smiles. _I wonder what he's smiling at._

"This is Alice." She indicated the raven-haired pixie standing next to a lanky blonde vampire.

"Hi Danny! Omigod, it's sooooo good to have you here! Bella keeps falling asleep during my wedding planning sessions…" At this Bella blushed. "…and she told me that you were totally the creative and fashionable one and omigod we're going to have so much fun planning the wedding and you can help me make decisions since _Bella_ won't and…"

I laughed, "It's nice to meet you too, Alice." So this is Alice. I could tell right away that we were going to be friends. We were so similar personality wise. Once we got started on something we're excited about, we're hard to stop.

"And this," said Esme, indicating the lanky blonde next to Alice, "is Jasper."

"Pleased to make your acquaintance," Jasper said in the slightest of southern accents. I liked Jasper. Being around him made me feel a bit calmer, balancing the tension I was getting from Edward.

"Danny and I have been friends forever," Bella said. "I'm sure that you'll find her as lovable as I do."

"I'm sure we will." Esme said. The others all murmured their agreement. Edward stayed silent.

"Anyways, we'll be staying here tonight." Bella told me. "Alice apparently thought my room needed a makeover, so now it's reeking of toxic paint fumes."

"WHAT?!" Edward and I said at the same time. I glanced at him. He seemed as shocked as I was. Well, if he didn't want me here, maybe I'll stay just to spite him, I thought. But, when I looked again, his face was stone-like once again.

"I'm sorry Bella," he said, composed once again, "I thought you said something else." Like hell you did, I thought. He looked at me, as if he knew what I was thinking. I stared back, not wanting to be the first one to back down. If he doesn't want me here that much, I'll stay just to spite him. He's not going to get the best of me.

"Oh, okay," Bella said, a bit bewildered. I was happy that Bella couldn't see what was going on. It would just hurt her.

"Danny, you'll be staying in the guest room, which is the last door down the hall upstairs."

"Is Bella staying with me too?" I asked.

"No, I'll be with Edward in his room," she said, blushing. I looked at her. Are they…? She understood my question.

"Don't worry Danny," she said, blushing even more if that was possible. That was enough for me from Bella. But, as I passed Edward to follow Esme to my room, I glared at him with my "Don't try anything on my best friend or you'll find yourself without a certain body part later" look. And guess what? The arrogant jerk just raised an eyebrow and looked down at me as if I were an insignificant little twit. I was fuming by the time I arrived at my room.

"Here you go, Danny," Esme smiled. "I hope everything's nice and comfy." Esme's kindness made me ashamed of myself. I decided to let go of my anger for now so I wouldn't upset her.

"Thanks, Esme. Everything's beautiful"

"I'm glad," she said and left. But, as soon as she closed the door, I plopped on my bed and growled into my pillow with frustration.


	5. Chapter 5 Heart to Heart

Chapter 5- Heart to Heart

**Chapter 5- Heart to Heart**

_Tap tap tap_.

Laying aside the towel that I was using to dry my hair and retightening my bath robe, I called out, "Who is it?"

"It's Bella." I called for her to come in.

"Hey" I said. I looked at her. She seemed … I don't know … not worried, but just rather sad and … nervous? _Why would she be nervous? It's not like I'm a stranger or anything_.

"What's up," I asked.

"Oh, I'm just here to talk," Bella said. I sat down on the bed and waited for her to start.

"Well, the wedding isn't the ONLY big event that's coming up…" As soon as she said these words, a horrible idea occurred to me.

"Oh my god… Bella… you aren't… you aren't… _pregnant_… are you?" I gasped. Marrying at eighteen is bad enough, but getting pregnant?

"No no no!" Bella reassured me, her face a bright tomato red, "We haven't… Edward would never… what I'm saying is… NO… I'm not pregnant."

"Oh, thank goodness," I sighed in relief, "Well go on, as long it's not that." Bella looked at me sadly.

"After the wedding, as far as Charlie, Renée, and everyone else is concerned, I won't be… well, I won't be…"

"You won't be what, Bella?"

"I won't exist anymore. Charlie should be planning my funeral about five weeks later."

"WHAT?!" I exclaimed. "Bella, what are you talking about?"

"I'm going to be a vampire, Danny."

"But what does that have to do with you dying?"

"Danny, do you know how old Edward is?"

"He's seventeen isn't he?"

"Technically. He's actually just over a hundred years old." I stared blankly at her.

"He was born in 1901, Danny."

"But… but… that's not possible." Bella smiled.

"Vampires are supposedly not possible Danny. The fact is, vampires never age, which means that they can pretty much live, or I guess exist, forever."

"But what does that have to do with you dying?" Bella looked exasperated.

"Well, I can't exactly visit Charlie every Christmas and look eighteen when I'm supposed to be forty, can I?"

"So you're going to fake your own death?"

"Pretty much, yeah. But in a way, I actually am dying." I gave her a blank look as I had no idea what the hell she was talking about.

"You see, when you become a vampire, your heart stops beating. The last time I checked, most doctors accept the fact that someone whose heart isn't beating anymore is dead."

"Oh, well. I guess I'll come visit you and just be jealous when I'm a fat sixty year old woman with wrinkles and you still look eighteen." I joked. Bella still looked devastated.

"There can't be more." I said, my heart sinking. I knew something big was coming. Bella sighed.

"There's more." I waited.

"You can't visit me."

"Why?" I asked, a bit hurt, "You don't want me to?" Bella looked horrified.

"Oh god, no! Of course I want you to visit every single year. It's just that when I'm a vampire, it will be hard for me to control my eating habits. It wouldn't be safe for you."

"But… I thought you said that the Cullens drink animal blood, not human blood. Wouldn't you do that, too?"

"Well, yes. But they had to train themselves to resist human blood. All vampires instinctively want to drink human blood, Danny. It's just that the Cullens chose not to live that lifestyle. A newborn vampire, like I will soon be, will find it hard not to go after human blood. I mean, wouldn't you rather have a donut than brussel sprouts?"

"Well, then, I'll just come and visit you when you're trained."

"It's not that easy, Danny. It might take years for it to be safe for me to be around normal people. It could be fifty years or a hundred. No one knows."

"But, Bella, you HATE blood. You faint at the sight and smell of it. Surely that's got to play a part in how fast it takes you."

"No one knows." Bella repeated again.

"So… so… what does this mean?" I asked, starting to be afraid. I knew the bomb was coming and I had no way to avoid.

"It means that this wedding might be goodbye for us. Permanently." Bella finished bitterly. I couldn't help it. At those words, I started crying. And when Bella saw me crying, she started crying too. So for five minutes, we were just leaning on each other, sobbing.

"Bella, do you absolutely have to do this?"

"Yes. If I don't, can you imagine fifty years down the road? Me, an almost seventy year old woman married to Edward, who's still seventeen? I have to do this, Danny." At that moment, I hated Edward. He was taking my best friend from me. At first, I thought Bella getting married to a vampire was cool, but now, I found myself wishing that Edward was anything but.

"Oh, Bella, I'll miss you so much. I really do wish you didn't have to do this, but if you're happy with it, then … I'll be behind you every step of the way."

"I'll miss you too, Danny. I'll be thinking of you - forever." This brought on a whole new wave of sobbing. Twenty minutes later, my tear ducts were dry and as much as I wanted to, I couldn't cry anymore. I sniffled.

"Well, since you're becoming one, I'd better find out more about vampires."

"Okay, let's go talk to Carlisle. He can explain this better than I can."

"Alright, but I'd better get dressed. I can't go in to see him looking like this, can I?" I indicated my tattered old Hello Kitty bath robe. Bella laughed through her remaining tears.

"Yes, go. Go get dressed." I dug into my duffel bag and pulled out a t-shirt and cut-off shorts and pulled them on.

"Let's go," I said.

"Wait," Bella said, "Before we go, there's something I almost forgot to give you." She pulled out something from her back pocket. It was a golden locket and on it was inscribed the word "Best" in fancy cursive on the front and the word "Forever" on the back.

"This is for you, to wear and keep close to your heart, so you'll remember that even though we'll be apart, I'll be with you each and every day. I've already got mine on." She pulled a duplicate golden locket from beneath her shirt. The only difference was that it had the word "Friends" inscribed on it. I took mine and opened it. There was a picture of Bella and me from before I left in it. The sight of the present was enough to make me start crying again.

"Oh, don't," Bella said, "because if you start to cry, I'll cry too, and then we'll never be able to leave this room." I nodded and dried my tears. Bella started to move towards the door, but a sudden thought occurred to me.

"Just a minute, Bella. I have an idea." I ran to my dresser and pulled out a pair of scissors. I snipped off a lock of my hair and indicated for her to do the same.

"I want some tangible form of you to hold onto, Bella. I hope you don't mind."

"No, of course not," she agreed, rather choked up. She cut of a portion of her own hair and we traded. I tucked mine carefully into the locket and slipped the heart inside my shirt.

"Okay, let's go now or we'll never make it into Carlisle's office." Bella said. I laughed and followed her out the door.


	6. Chapter 6 Midnight Meeting

Chapter Six- Midnight Meeting

**Chapter Six- Midnight Meeting**

I headed back to my room at 9:30, exhausted after my meeting with Carlisle. My mind was spinning with everything he had told me. He was truly an amazing personage. I couldn't wait until tomorrow to pick his mind about medical school and the profession. It was amazing how some of the vampires had superpowers. Whoever said _"They'll never fool Alice"_ at the airport was right. Bella and I never would fool Alice with an old switcheroo. Now I also knew why I felt so calm around Jasper. However, Edward's superpower rather annoyed me. Talk about invasion of privacy. Boy, if I ever catch him reading my mind, he'd be sorry. Then, it struck me. His condescending smirk, his amusement whenever I thought anything mean about him… he's been reading my mind all day! Grr… wait 'till I get a hold of him… I yawned… tomorrow…

_Mmmm…I'm so tired_. Although I usually go to bed later, it was around midnight where I lived and the six hours on the plane made me tired.

I flopped down on the bed, which felt like a heavenly cloud, and five second later, knew no more.

--

_I was alone… walking by myself in a barren dry desert… no one around… I have to get out… water…where's Bella…?_

I woke up with a start, my mouth feeling like parched sandpaper. I glanced at the clock. 12:32. I groaned. I hated getting up in the middle of the night. But, my thirst right now was more important and I dragged myself up to get a drink of water.

My eyes still half closed, I felt my way to the stairway. It was dark in the hallway, for which I was grateful. A bright light was something I so did not need right now.

_Aha! The stairs._ I made my way down, but at the very last step, I tripped and fell, you guessed it, flat on my face.

"Ow, crap!" I moaned. I dragged myself up, checking for cuts, but only found bruises. I made my way down into the kitchen. I opened various cabinets, looking for cups, but there were none to be found. Deciding that I didn't really need a cup, I turned on the faucet, bent my head down, and drank the running tap water. The cold drink felt wonderful against my rough, dry tongue.

Having drunk my fill, I straightened up and turned to go back to my room, but for some reason ran headlong into a solid wall of … Edward?!

Surprised, I opened my mouth to scream, but his ice-cold hand covered my mouth so that only a squeak came out.

"Shhh… you'll wake up Bella. What are you doing down here anyway?" he hissed.

Gasping, I clutched my chest and leaned against the counter.

"What the HELL are YOU doing?! Are you TRYING to give me a heart attack?" _He probably is. He hates me anyway. He's probably just trying to get me out of his hair._

"I don't hate you," Edward said, indignant, "and I'm not trying to get rid of you either. If Bella wants you here, then I do, too."

I gasped, "You're reading my thoughts again, aren't you?" I could feel my face turning red. He didn't answer.

"AREN'T YOU?!" I pressed.

"Shhh, not so loud." I glared at him.

"Fine. I was. Happy?" He glared at me.

"NO! Stop reading my thoughts. Didn't your mother ever teach you to respect people's privacy?"

"Don't talk about my mother." He actually looked mad – even dangerous now. I didn't care. I was just starting.

"Well – didn't she? Or do you just not care? My mind is my PERSONAL BUBBLE, okay. So STAY OUT OF IT!!" I snapped.

"_You have no idea what's going on._"

"What do you mean I have no idea? Bella's wedding is coming up and she invited me as her guest and for some reason or another, you don't like me and as a result, I don't like you."

"I didn't say that." Edward looked shocked.

"You sure showed it. You haven't spoken a word to me all day and you wouldn't even ride in the same car as me. You said you'd rather run home. HA!"

"No, I mean I didn't say that you have no idea what's going on."

"Don't give me that crap again. I may have let it slide at the airport but look- _there's no one here_! Who could have said it but you?" Edward looked around and his eyes grew wide, and for some reason he looked rather worried. That was it. I had enough of him.

"Get out of my face." I pushed him, but no avail. It was like pushing a boulder. But he moved out of my way nonetheless. Or jumped out of the way, more like.

"Danny – _go back to bed_," Edward ordered, his voice strangely urgent. God, this guy was really irritating me. Who was he to order me around?

"No."

"_Go back to bed,"_ Edward hissed.

"NO! You can't boss me around."

"DANIELLE! GET YOURSELF UPSTAIRS NOW!"

"N- ouuuuuuuuaahhh," I yawned. Damn this stupid jet lag.

"Fine," I snapped, "but I'm going because I want to. Not because you told me to."

"Danielle, just go," he said coldly.

"Hmph." I turned on my heel. Not a good move. My hair whipped around and got me right in the eyes. I pried it off my face and started to leave but something gripped my hand and whipped me back around. _What is that boy doing?_ I thought as I glared into Edward's now black eyes. For some reason, I started to be afraid and I shuddered.

"Danny"

"Wh-what?" I stammered, my eyes wide. But then, he seemed to snap out of it, whatever it was, and he released me. Where his fingers were, there were now purple bruises to add to the bruises on my legs and arms from my fall earlier. _Crazy bi-polar vampire._

"Sorry. Just go."

"Fine." I ran upstairs and was just about to slam my door when, thinking of Bella, I caught it just in time, and closed it quietly. I stalked over to my bed and pulled my covers over my head. But no matter how tired I was, I couldn't seem to get to sleep. _Damn Edward, that stupid vampire. Damn him damn him damn him._


	7. Chapter 7 The Morning After

Chapter Seven- The Morning After

**Chapter Seven- The Morning After**

I descended the stair-case (this time with no falls) after an hour of trying to conceal the dark circles under my eyes. Thanks to someone, I couldn't get any sleep at all last night.

I came into the kitchen to find Bella sitting at the table eating cereal.

"Good morning," she said, "did you have a good sleep?"

"Yes," I lied. I couldn't let her know that I didn't sleep a wink after twelve.

"Good. Have some cereal."

"Where's Edward?" The words were out before I knew it. _Girl, why would you care about that? You must be delusional from lack of sleep._

"He went hunting with Emmett and Jasper," Bella said, frowning, "which is rather strange since he just went hunting two days ago."

"Hmmm."

The rest of the day passed by in a blur. I could see why Bella didn't really like the wedding planning sessions with Alice. Alice really was a little firecracker when it came to planning a wedding, not that she isn't ever a firecracker. It was just that she was a bit more… everywhere. I loved the decision making and the shopping, but she even wore me out. However, I did love how they all drove so fast. The trip to the mall took 15 minutes rather than the hour it usually would've. I didn't see the whole day, which was just fine by me. I did wish that he was there for Bella's sake though. She always looks a bit anxious when he isn't there.


	8. Chapter 8 Epiphany

Every time that I walked into the Cullen's backyard, I thought that I might go blind from the explosion of color that attacked my eyes. Alice had ordered flowers of almost every color and planted them in the yard, which was where the wedding was going to take place.

So far, the last week had been pretty uneventful. It seemed that we spent more time at the Cullen house than at Charlie's. I'd started thinking of it more as home than I did of Charlie's. We had stayed overnight 80 percent of the time too. Although I knew that Bella wasn't one to lie, it made me uneasy to think of her in Edward's bedroom, sleeping with him, in the same bed. I knew that she as old enough to take care of herself, but I guess I just didn't trust _him_.

I had been trying to forget about my little spar with Edward that one night, seeing as how Bella was becoming increasingly anxious over the wedding. But I couldn't. I couldn't seem to get him out of my mind. He was like a parasite there, just not letting go. Worse yet, I kept talking about him. I thought back to that night that I had called my friend Felicia.

_Flashback_

_Felicia: Oh come on, Danny. I can't believe he's THAT bad._

_Me: NO! He is! He makes me want to tear my hair out. He really makes me sick. Literally! I always feel like I have indigestion when I'm near him._

_Felicia: Well, at least he's hot._

_Me: Felicia! He's NOT available! Ugh, I'm sick of talking about him. Can we talk about something else?_

_Felicia: Sure! When are you moving into your dorm?_

_Me: …_

_Felicia: Danny?_

_Me: He's so annoying!_

_Felicia: (laughing) I thought that we weren't talking about you-know-who anymore!_

_Me: (blushing) We're not._

_End Flashback_

He was still an annoying ass though. And he DID make me feel rather queasy and unsettled. But however much I tried to distance myself from him, we kept being put together. Like that family hiking trip "to get to know each other better" Carlisle had said. We had all squeezed into Emmett's jeep "so Danny could feel more at home" Esme had said, meaning that she hoped I wouldn't be too creeped out that I was hiking with vampires and trying to make me believe that I was with normal humans. I was only creeped out by one vampire actually and as luck would have it, I got squooshed between him and the wall in Emmett's jeep. He had avoided me like the plague, which I didn't mind at all. However, I kept having the urge to touch him, to hug him, to kiss him just to see how he would react. Not having the nerve to actually do it, I decided by the end of the trip that he would probably just jump out of the car screaming.

I was still catching him speaking to me several times while trying to make me think that he wasn't speaking at all. Although I wanted to slap his smug face every time he did that, I stopped myself, since he was always with Bella. However, I did manage to "accidentally" smack him in the back of the head with Alice's charts and plans when I was carrying them from the car for her. I doubted that it hurt (he was a vampire after all and with that thick skull…) but it made me feel better. But besides that, he and I were getting along. We weren't friends of course (ha! how laughable), but we were… civil. Or at least when Bella was around, which was always.

"EMMETT!" someone screamed. There was no mistaking that screech, the screech that could probably break glass; it was Alice. I turned around to see what Emmett had done this time. He had been fooling around with Jasper (another one of their stupid bet probably) and in the process had rolled onto the wicker archway that Bella was supposed to walk under and knocked part of it down. I looked away from the damage just in time to see Alice chasing after Emmett who was running away screaming like a little girl. God that little pixie can be scary when she wants to be.

I looked over at the archway and sighed. I guess it was up to me to fix it now. More likely than not, Alice wasn't going to be back soon, seeing that she would probably be personally ripping Emmett up from limb to limb and would be taking her sweet time doing it. I stepped towards the archway and propped up the pieces that Emmett had broken off. Then, I stepped back and looked up at the two and a half story archway, debating the best way to get up there. I finally decided that the best way would be just to climb up there, so I grabbed a hammer and some nails, stuck them into the deep pocket of my jacket and started climbing.

"That's not a good idea," a musical voice said behind me. I shrieked and fell on my butt, heart pounding from the surprise Edward had given me.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" I shrieked, too mad to even get up from the ground. What the hell was he doing here?! I thought he was spending the afternoon with Bella!

"Trying to make sure that my fiancée's foolish best friend doesn't fall and crack her skull open, however thick it may be," he smirked. That got me going. I jumped up and stalked over, getting up right in his face. To my surprise, and delight, his eyes widened and tensing, he took a step back. I think that he might even have stopped breathing. Good.

"If I have a thick skull, I'd hate to think how thick YOURS is," I snarled.

"I'm not the one trying to climb an unstable structure that's about the height of a house."

"That's irrelevant!" I screamed, really seeing red now.

"Is it?" he said, raising his eyebrows, "_if she's anything like Bella..._"

"What is that supposed to mean if I'm anything like Bella?!" I shouted.

"I didn't say anything," he said, acting surprised yet again. There he goes again.

"Of course you didn't," I said wryly. "Where is Bella anyway? I thought she was supposed to be with you."

"She decided to spend some time with Angela." Having heard what I wanted to from him, I turned toward the archway once again.

"Don't do it, Danielle."

"Screw you. I can do anything I want, dammit." I snapped at him, the rage gone, but still angry with him. God that man gets under my skin. I shimmied up the archway and once I got to the top, I stood there and looked down at Edward, a smug "I told you so" expression on my face. However, I was surprised to see, not an angry as I had expected, but a worried expression on his face.

"Danielle! GET DOWN HERE!"

"NO!" I shouted back and, for good measure stuck my tongue out at him.

"Danielle, I will come up there and haul you down if you don't get off that archway this instant!"

"HA! I'd like to see you try!" But as soon as I said those words, I regretted it. I stalked toward the archway, resolution written across that marble face and I knew that he meant what he had said. So, I scurried on my hands and feet across the archway, desperate to avoid capture, 'cause I knew I'd never live it down if he did catch me. Unfortunately, I had forgotten about the section that Emmet had knocked down and as I got there, the wicker gave way and I plunged headfirst toward the ground.

I screamed for what seemed like a lifetime, which is way too long for a fall from a forty foot tall archway. I heard someone call out "Danny!" as I whooshed through the air. I braced myself for the impact that would certainly follow and thought grimly of my tombstone and what it would say. "Danielle Rory, beloved cousin and daughter. Dead because of Edward Cullen." Because really it was all his fault that I had fallen. If only he hadn't threatened to chase me…

"Oof" I gasped, as strangely enough, I hit, not the ground, but two metal bars. I opened my eyes to find that I hadn't hit two metal bars. Edward had caught me and the metal bars were his arms.

I was in shock from having fallen from such a height, and it didn't fully sink in where I was at the moment. But then, I came to my senses and realized that I was in the arms of Edward Cullen and I got that queasy, indigestion feeling again. I started to squirm but then, my wide stared caught his golden eyes and all the world stopped for that one second. The indigestion increased tenfold and all of a sudden, I couldn't breathe. It was like I was seeing him for the first time, only through a different pair of eyes. My shocked gaze was matched by his, surprisingly intense, gaze. At that moment, something changed. All the annoyance that I felt for him earlier on just melted away, only replaced by… love?! Suddenly the horrible truth of the matter hit me. _I had fallen in love with my best friend's fiancée. _I started choking.

Edward laid me on the ground and bent over me.

"Danny… DANNY!" He looked so wild, it was kind of funny. He was probably debating whether he had to do the Heimlich maneuver on me, something that I was debating, too. Finally, my chokes subsided and he sighed a sigh of relief.

"God, I thought you were a goner, Danny." I looked at him curiously. _Why did he care about whether I lived or died? He didn't even like me._ Edward looked at me with a mixture of sadness and pity mixed in with something else which seemed strangely like …guilt?

We both heard a gasp by the edge of the yard and turned to see Alice, frozen to the ground and staring.

I gasped and had only one thought in my mind. Bella. I could only imagine what this looked like. Me lying on the ground, my hair mussed from the fall (but Alice didn't know I had fallen), Edward hovering over me… the thought of what it meant for Bella made me sick. I started to push Edward away from me, only to find that he had already leaped up to a standing position, so I did the same.

"Alice, this isn't what it…" I started, but Edward cut me off.

"She's only having a vision, Danielle," he said coldly. His tone cut me to the heart. So it was back to Danielle again… But then _Edward's _eyes widened and _he _gasped. _What is this world coming to? Has everyone gone nuts?_ I thought. He started to run away, but Alice stopped him.

"Stay," she commanded, her eyes stone-hard. With that tone of voice, heck, I bet even time itself would stay. "Explain."

Edward closed his eyes and opened them again. "She climbed the archway, she fell, I caught her."

She stared at him, "Then how the hell do you explain…"

"I don't know Alice okay?" I looked back and forth between them, totally bewildered by what was going on. Alice continued boring holes into Edward with her eyes, but apparently, some tacit agreement passed between the two and she softened and was back to her cheery little Alice self.

"Go Edward," she said, and he bounded away.

"Are you okay, Danny?"

"Yeah," I said shakily, "What was that about?"

"Nothing." she said, albeit a little too quickly, I thought. We went back to work on the archway, and, having had a little sense knocked into me, I let the indestructible Alice climb the archway this time, and we had it fixed in a jiffy. However the whole time, I was thinking of Edward and my disturbing new discovery. By the end of the day, I had decided that, whatever my feelings were toward him, I would just have to act the way I have always acted toward him until the wedding was over and I would never see him again. But even that thought almost brought tears into my eyes. _God this is so screwed up…_


	9. Chapter 9 Confrontation

EPOV

EPOV

I sprinted into the forest, trying to leave my thoughts behind. But, I had no such luck. My thoughts plagued me, no matter how fast I ran.

Ever since _she_ had arrived, I didn't know who I was anymore. I thought I was Edward Cullen, Edward who loved (no, loves, I argued), Bella and who was (no, is) about to marry her and would do anything for her and who would (no, will, God what is wrong with me!) never see anyone BUT her.

But, now… now… I don't know. Everything changed for some reason. Things that I thought were absolute certainties were doubtable now. It was like someone, _she_, had taken a sledgehammer and cracked the foundation that I had always stood on.

_So Edward, what are you going to do? Leave Bella? Hurt her to indulge in some insane obsession?_ the voice inside my head sarcastically asked me.

_NO, _I thought firmly_, whatever comes of this. I __**will**_ _marry Bella in three weeks. I don't care what's happening to me right now, but that WILL happen. _

Having had that figured out, I turned around and headed back to the house. Looking around me, I figured that I must have ended up somewhere in Canada and I should make it by the time Bella gets back.

But still, I couldn't get her out of my head. And the way that I felt when she fell into my arms today, as if everything was finally right in the world, as if I had been wading through muddy waters and she made everything clear again.

_STOP IT EDWARD!_ I screamed. _Stop thinking about her like that_. I groaned and tried to do that, thinking of Bella's sweet face….

…but somehow, it kept turning into Danny's.

_God this is so wrong…_

--

The house reappeared as I raced back, hoping to find Bella there, hoping that maybe everything would disappear once I had her in my arms and my lips against hers. But, as I flew past the door, I saw, not Bella, but only Alice waiting for me.

"Where's Bella?" I asked, wheeling around, _and Danny_, a small voice added in the back of my head, which I immediately told to shut up.

"I told her to home, that you were out hunting and would go see her later."

"WHAT? Why?" I headed for the door, desperate to see her.

"Edward, stop," Alice commanded, "We need to talk." I sighed, I _had_ promised her earlier that we would talk and considering the state of things, I needed to know that I could keep a promise. So I turned around and looked at her.

"Well?" she asked.

"Well what?"

"What's going on between you and Danny, Edward?"

"As for as I know, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING is going on between me and Danielle Rory, okay?"

"Then how do you explain…"

"I DON'T KNOW ALICE! It's your vision, not mine."

"But it concerns you." I didn't have anything to say to that. I felt lost again, a feeling I thought I had managed to shake back in Canada. Alice saw my expression. Alice didn't miss anything.

"Edward, you're my brother. I know when something is wrong. What is it?"

"Her blood."

"_What_?"

"Her blood. Take Bella's scent, magnify its intensity by about a million, and you've got Danny's scent."

"That can't be…" Alice said, shocked, "There's usually only one…"

"The fact of the matter is, Alice," I said through gritted teeth, "if I hadn't met Bella first, if I had met Danny in biology two years ago, she wouldn't be here right now. It had taken all of my control that I had learned with Bella not to kill her right then and there when she walked through that gate."

"What does this mean, then, Edward?"

"I don't know Alice." I said wearily. There was a moment of silence as we both pondered the situation.

"I think," said Alice, breaking the silence, "that we need to talk to Carlisle. He might know about something like this."

I groaned. I knew that that would be the smart thing to do, the sensible thing to do, but I didn't want to do it. I was ashamed to let Carlisle know of the feelings I had for my fiancée's cousin. Yet, I trudged up the stairs behind Alice nonetheless.

Alice knocked on the door of Carlisle's study. Through the thoughts coming through the door, I could tell that Esme was in there with him, too. _Great,_ I thought_, I'm shaming myself in front of my mother too_.

"Come in," Carlisle said, never suspecting that his first son was about to be blasted into ignominy. The thought was depressing.

"Can we talk, Carlisle," Alice asked. Carlisle and Esme looked up from his laptop at the tone of her voice and immediately closed the laptop when they assessed her expression.

"Of course," Carlisle said, worry coloring his voice, "what's wrong Alice?"

"Oh, it's not me. It's Edward."

"Edward?" Carlisle, said, confused as to why Alice was asking for the talk.

"Yes." I said, speaking for the first time. Carlisle and Esme looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to begin. I sighed, took a deep breath, and launched into an account of everything that had happened ever since Danny had arrived. When it was all over, Carlisle looked stern and Esme looked concerned.

"Well, Edward," Carlisle began, "there have been cases where a vampire has met more than one blood singer, but in many of those cases, one was just a temporary infatuation."

"So…"

"So, that means that you're going to have to make a choice. Bella or Danny."

"Bella," I said immediately. I couldn't subject her to that kind of pain again. Yet, the voice in the back of my head was screaming,"_Danny!"_ But I chose to ignore it. I could tell that Carlisle approved of this decision.

"Edward," Esme interrupted, something she rarely does, "does… does Danny know? What does she think about this?"

"She doesn't know. She hates me Esme, if that's what you're asking." I replied. That much was certain. She's hated my guts and believed that I hated hers (when it was very much the contrary; I couldn't stay away from her bloody guts).

"Why does she hate you?" Esme asked, puzzled, "I thought you two were getting along." Typical Esme. Everything in her world was A-OK. She could never understand why anyone would hate me, which I understood only too well.

"She thinks I'm a snobby, stuck up ass (Sorry Esme)", I said when she gasped at my choice of words. "I was concentrating on not killing her at the airport and she thought I was being condescending. And she keeps thinking that I'm trying to make her look stupid by saying something and trying to make her think I didn't say anything when in reality, I didn't. I was thinking it. And by the way Carlisle, what do you think of that?"

"I don't know Edward. There two ways that I'm thinking about this. First, that she has the same gift as you do. And second, she, as your blood singer, is so connected to you that she is able to access your thoughts sometimes. I'm hoping it's the first one, but right now, I'm leaning toward the second, because she hasn't been able to access any of OUR thoughts. Not that I know of, at least." I nodded. I sincerely hoped it was the first one two. I'm not someone who cheats on my soon-to-be wife, dammit.

"So, what do you think I should do?" I asked Carlisle.

"It's simple," he said gravely, "Stay away from her." I looked around the room and saw that everyone agreed, even Esme. Simple. Right.

"Okay, I'll try." I said.

"That's all that you can do." Carlisle said.

"But what about my vision," Alice spoke up. _Trust Alice to introduce a new problem_, I thought crabbily.

"Well, Alice," Carlisle said, "maybe it wasn't what you thought. You kids love your games and bets, so maybe it was one of your truth and dare pranks." Alice and I looked at each other. We knew that it most likely wasn't. There was clearly a priest there and it was a full out WEDDING. Even Alice wouldn't go that far.

"Thanks, Carlisle." I said, "Now if you don't mind, I'm desperate to see Bella right now." I looked at him meaningfully and he understood.

"Go." I vaulted out the window.


	10. Chapter 10 Intruder

DPOV

DPOV

It was night and the only sound was Bella's deep breathing above me and Charlie's loud snoring down the hall. The moonlight streamed in through the open window and all was still. I looked at the lump on the bed that was Bella and envied her. I desperately wanted to slip into the empty nothingness of sleep, yet I couldn't. Everything that had happened this afternoon was denying me sleep. _He_ was denying me sleep.

I hate him… didn't I? I had hated him the moment I laid eyes on him. So what was this feeling now? This burning in the pit of my stomach, the wave of sadness that hit me as he ran away, the stinging as he called me Danielle. What was that?

I couldn't be in love with Edward. He was Bella's and Bella was his. They were soulmates, meant for each other. _I am not in love with Edward Cullen I am not in love with Edward Cullen,_ I chanted to myself. Still that little voice in my head said, _Face it girl. You are desperately, hopelessly, sadly in love with him. You __**love**__ him. And not as a brother or a friend._ The truth of the statement hit me like an atom bomb and the fire in my stomach roared into an inferno. _So it wasn't indigestion after all_, I thought wryly. _Great_. _As if this is much better._

I thought about it more and more, but I couldn't find anyway around it. Groaning, I decided that I had to run off some of this extra energy and lacing on my sneakers, I sneaked out the door and started jogging around the block in my PJs.

Huffing and puffing, I rounded the corner for my third lap when out of the corner of my eye, I saw a dark shape spring into the window of Bella's bedroom. I froze and my blood ran cold. _Bella_, I thought. Whoever sneaks into a girl's bedroom in the middle of the night cannot have good intentions.

My heart pounding, I snuck into the house, carefully trying to make no sound and searched around the living room for a weapon. I spotted Charlie's gun and grabbed it, sneaking upstairs to Bella's room and peeking in. The stranger was in the shadows, back to me and he was leaning over Bella in her bed, intently watching her. No… not just watching her. He was _touching _her. He was stroking her face. I stifled a gasp. No, no, definitely not good intentions. As I continued watching, I ascertained that he was completely absorbed in Bella, and confident that he wouldn't notice me, I crept into the room, quiet as the wind, and calmly aimed the muzzle of the gun at the bastard's head.

"Step away from her or I swear I'll blast you to kingdom come," I threatened, putting as much ice in my voice as I possibly could, although inside I was shaking.

The stranger, obviously surprised, stiffened. He slowly turned around and stepped away from the bed. He stepped forward, into the light, and…

"Edward?!" I said incredulously, a little bit too loud perhaps, since Bella groaned and turned in her sleep. Both our gazes shot towards her and I relaxed when I saw that I hadn't woken her up. _Man that girl can sleep…_

"Yes, it's me," Edward said testily, "now, would you mind putting that gun down? I don't think Bella would much appreciate it if you shot her fiancée. Not that it would do much damage, just so you know. I'm pretty much bulletproof."

"Wouldn't do much damage to me either," I muttered, putting down the gun. _That's good. Let him think that I want to shoot him. Let everyone know how much I supposedly hate him (except possibly Bella). That would make things so much easier._ Edward looked at me curiously and I knew at once that he was reading my thoughts. I blocked my thoughts from him. God, he was the LAST person that I wanted to know my dirty little secret.

"Stop it," I hissed. He smirked.

"What the hell are you doing here in the middle of the night?" I asked.

"I'm here to see Bella." That struck me as rather odd.

"She's sleeping, if you can't tell," I said acidly, "she's not really up to seeing anyone right now."

"I know. I just like to watch her."

"Watch her do what," I said guardedly.

"Watch her sleep." That struck me as rather sweet, and I felt my heart split a little as the fact that I would never be on the receiving end of that from Edward hit me. I quickly composed myself.

"Whatever loverboy," I scoffed, "now be gone. _Some_ of us actually need sleep."

"Bella's already sleeping," he said, confused.

"Yes, I can see that, pea brain. But has it occurred to you that I'm also part of the human race and I also need sleep? There's no way I'm going to sleep when you're here." I said, kicking off my sneakers (one of them hit Edward on the shin. _Good, _I thought, opening this thought now to Edward's ability) and stalking over to my air mattress.

"Y-you sleep here?" Edward said, clearly caught off guard.

"Yes," I muttered, "now go away." There was silence for a moment and then a whoosh of air and I knew he was gone. As he passed me, I had a crazy impulse to leap out the window after him, but I managed to suppress it.

As I lay there on the air mattress, the full impact of what just happened hit me, and I started quietly sobbing. _He'll never be mine_, I thought. And with that thought, I finally cried myself to sleep.

I sought refuge in my sleep, but it was useless. My dreams were filled with his face and sometimes they were just that, his face. Sometimes, it was him and me and he was professing his love for me. Sometimes, it was him and Bella at the altar, while I stood helplessly aside and cried inside the happy face I'd put on. Needless to say, I didn't get any rest at all.


	11. Chapter 11 Favor

The morning sun shined in on me on one of the rare sunny days in Forks. I groaned and turned around on my side, trying to block the bright light that was filtering in through the window. I listened and there were sounds of cooking coming down from the kitchen and voices.

The fresh memories of yesterday came back in full. My heart lurched painfully and I burrowed my head into my pillow, even more reluctant now to get up. But, hearing the sounds from below, I knew that Bella was probably waiting for me, so I dragged myself out of bed and into the bathroom.

I went through the normal routine (showering, brushing my teeth, etc.) and then looked in the mirror. A zombie looked back at me. I had dark circles AND bags under my eyes, which were puffy from crying…. _Well, crap. I can't let Bella see me looking like this_. So, I grabbed my make-up bag and pretty much smothered my face in concealer, doing the best I could to hide my haggard countenance.

I headed down the stairs and paused when I got to the bottom. The voices in the kitchen were getting clearer and I could clearly identify who was in the kitchen. Bella and… Edward. Of course.

"So what do you think Edward?" There was a moment of silence as Edward deliberated.

"I think it's a great idea." I could feel Bella beaming through the walls of the kitchen.

I walked into the kitchen and said, "Good morning Bella." I pointedly ignored Edward.

"I should go." Edward said.

"Why?" Bella pouted.

"Um… Alice needs me to help her fix her car." _Liar_, I thought. Anyone could tell that he was just making it up. But, I was glad he was leaving. I didn't want to have to think about him.

"Okay" Bella said. They shared a brief kiss (jeez, why don't you just stab me in the heart with a knife?) and he disappeared, literally.

Bella turned to me, "Good morning Danny." I turned around and put on a smile for her. But it faltered when Bella gasped, her eyes wide.

"Geez Danny, you look horrible. What were you doing instead of sleeping last night?"

I sighed, if only Bella hadn't inherited Renee's highly perceptive nature.

"I'm fine Bella, it's only the insomnia." Of course I couldn't give her the real reason why I was up half the night. And I was already known for my horrible insomnia anyway so that seemed like a logical excuse.

"Are-are you sure? Maybe you should go and try to get some more sleep."

"No, no. I can't sleep anymore. Anyways, I'm sure we have a lot planned for today, and I don't want to mess anything up. What's on for today?" I asked.

"Want some breakfast?" Bella asked, purposefully avoiding my question. I was suspicious, but knew for certain that something was up when I took a look at what was in her hands. Blueberry pancakes with hand whipped cream and maple syrup. She only ever made that for me when she needed a favor and it was clear that she was trying to bribe something out of me now.

"Alright, what do you want Bella." I said.

"What do you mean," Bella asked, her eyes wide, the picture of innocence.

"Bella, how stupid do you think I am? Blueberry pancakes? With hand whipped cream and maple syrup? You want something from me or my name isn't Danielle Anne Rory."

"Alright, but I'd rather you eat first. You need energy. You didn't get much sleep."

"No, tell me what I'm eating this for first." Bella looked at me and could tell that I wasn't going to back down, so she told me.

"So you remember Jacob?"

"Jacob?"

"Yes, Jacob Black. We always used to go visit him and his dad when we were little." I wracked my mind to find a memory, any memory of this Jacob, but I couldn't find anything.

"No, but go on. What about him?"

"Well, he's one of my best friends… and well… he's been rather down lately, and…"

"Spit it out, Bella."

"Will you go out with him tonight?"

"A blind date," I said skeptically.

"Yeah… I guess it is." I thought about it for a moment. I wasn't too into blind dates. The guys always turned out to be nerdy, wacky, or just plain gross. But, I knew I could trust Bella's judgment in the fact that this was probably just a nice, normal guy **(A/N: ironic, huh?)**. And besides, I needed to get my mind off Edward and wash my hands completely of Dexter and this seemed like the perfect opportunity to do so.

"He isn't a total wack job, is he?" Bella broke into a huge smile.

"Thankyouthankyouthankyou Danny!" she gushed, even before I had told her yes, "You don't know how much this means to me. God, I mean, ever since -- " Here, she abruptly broke off, as if she was about to say something that she didn't want to.

"Ever since what?" I asked curiously. No answer. Bella looked a bit guarded, hesitant, which she rarely was with me. We always told each other everything, no matter how traumatic or gruesome the tale. But I decided to let this one slip. She was getting married after all. _To Edward_, that stupid voice inside my head said. Irritated, I told it to shut up, and hopefully forever.

I jumped as Bella suddenly screamed, "Look at the time, we're late for Alice! And you know how she gets when we're late! She'll kill us!" She started dragging me by the arm. I noticed that she never even looked at a clock. And besides, she was never this excited about seeing Alice about the wedding.

I frowned, "I don't remember that Alice had anything for us today?"

"No, because she only told me." She said, a bit frantic now.

"Well, can I at least finish my breakfast, Bells? It is part of our deal, remember?"

"Oh," she said, blushing a deep crimson, "of course, I totally forgot." I crossed my arms in mock disapproval.

"Geez, Bella. So much for trust. Nice try on trying to ferret away on your side of the deal." She stuck her tongue out at me and I laughed. I quickly finished my breakfast, as it was clear that Bella really wanted to get going. The whole time as I was eating, she was pacing and stealing furtive glances at me, most likely hoping that I wouldn't ask her about what she didn't say.

"Don't worry, Bella, I won't ask you about it anymore, whatever it is," I reassured her.

"About what?" Bella asked, her eyes a bit TOO wide and innocent, "now come on, let's go." And she fairly dragged me out the door.

EPOV

I rushed over to Bella's house, hoping that Bella was awake now and Danny was finally asleep. As I neared, I paused and listened, just to make sure…

I sighed as I heard Bella's heartbeat in the kitchen area and Danny's heart beat and slow deep breathing upstairs in Bella's room. _Thank God,_ I thought. I don't whether I'll be able to handle another encounter like the one last night.

_Flashback_

_I peered out from among the foliage near Bella's house. I had seen Danny running laps around the block and, wanting to avoid her, I was waiting for when she rounded the corner so I could go and see Bella. _

Who runs around in the middle of the night?_ I thought, irritated. But then I caught myself, struck by the irony of the statement, and laughed, _Oh wait, you do_. My ears picked up the sound of feet pounding down the side walk and shrunk back as Danny whizzed past the house and turned the corner. _She's fast for a human – and a klutz,_ I thought absentmindedly. I caught myself again and forced myself to stop thinking about her. I needed Bella now. _

_I leaped lithely through the window and landed on my feet. And there was Bella, my Bella, sleeping peacefully as ever. _

_But… something wasn't quite right this time. I knew it was Bella there on that bed. It was impossible otherwise. Yet looking at her, I kept seeing Danny. Frustrated, I crossed the space that was still between us and looked intently at her, trying to will myself to see Bella there and only Bella. I softly brushed a strand of hair away from her face and stroked her cheek._

See? She's real. It's Bella,_ I told myself firmly. _

_Suddenly I heard a light step behind me, and froze. _Crap, Charlie,_ I thought immediately. But then, I got a whiff of that irresistible scent and I knew immediately it wasn't Charlie. It was worse._ _Danny. I thought she was out jogging, the crazy girl. But before I could say anything, Danny spoke in a cold hard voice._

_"__Step away from her or I swear I'll blast you to kingdom come," she said icily. Great, she has a gun. I wasn't too worried about what would happen to me. I'm bullet-proof after all. I was worried about Bella waking up and finding her best friend shooting her fiancée. That would be rather awkward. _

_Inwardly, I sighed and slowly turned around (with my hands up of course) to face her. I caught my breath; she was so terribly beautiful standing there in the moonlight, like an avenging angel.. _Okay, stop it Edward_, I thought. Bella is prettier than she. _

_One look at Danny's face told me that she still didn't recognize me. Or maybe she did, and still wanted to shoot me; that was also plausible. Whatever the reason, I told a slow step forward and she gasped._

_"Edward?!" she said incredulously, way too loudly, because Bella groaned and turned in her sleep. I sighed in relief when she didn't wake up. I didn't need her finding out about this. We weren't doing anything wrong, but considering the state of relations between Danny and I, it was better that she, or anyone for that matter, didn't know about this little midnight meeting._

_"Yes, it's me," I said testily, annoyed by my own feelings toward her and frustrated by my lack of ability to control them, "now, would you mind putting that gun down? I don't think Bella would much appreciate it if you shot her fiancée. Not that it would do much damage, just so you know. I'm pretty much bulletproof."_

_"Wouldn't do much damage to me either," she muttered. I winced. For some reason, I couldn't stand the thought that Danny hates me, even though it should be a good thing. I shook it off, just in time to hear…_That's good. Let him think that I want to shoot him. Let everyone know how much I supposedly hate him (except possibly Bella). That would make things so much easier.

_Why would she let me think that she hated me? She did hate me; it was clear as day that she did. And what would it make easier, except for the fact that I, seemingly, loved her in a way that I shouldn't. I looked at her curiously and when she caught my gaze, she looked sharp. She knew what I was up too._

_"Stop it," she hissed. I smirked. She had blocked her thoughts from me. She was extraordinarily good at doing that. Whenever Alice, Rosalie, or anyone else did that, they had to sing some inane little song or recite a foreign alphabet. But when Danny did it, there was nothing. It was like she had put up a brick wall to block my abilities. It was kind of like… _No, _I thought firmly,_ there is no one like Bella, Bella is the only one, the only one.

_"What the hell are you doing here in the middle of the night," she asked._

_"I'm here to see Bella."_

_"She's sleeping if you can't tell. She's not really up to seeing anyone right now," she said acidly._

_Annoyed, I said, "I know. I just like to watch her." God, what is it about this girl that makes my blood boil (figuratively of course, since I don't have any blood)._

_"Watch her do what," she asked cautiously, suspiciously. Great, now she thinks I'm some sort of pervert, some sort of Mike Newton. I shuddered. _

_"Watch her sleep," I answered back, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. That cracked her calm. She looked surprised and a little bit…sad? But then, the hard shield was back. _

_"Whatever, loverboy. Now be gone. Some of us actually need sleep," she scoffed, looking at me pointedly. I was confused. Bella was already sleeping._

_"Bella's already sleeping," I stated, confused._

_"__Yes, I can see that, pea brain. But has it occurred to you that I'm also part of the human race and I also need sleep? There's no way I'm going to sleep when you're here." She kicked off her sneakers, one of them hitting me in the shins and thought, _Good_, clearly directing that thought towards me. But I barely noticed, I was too stunned. She… slept here?_

_"Y-you sleep here?" I asked, stuttering for the first time in a hundred years. She stalked over to an air mattress that I hadn't noticed when I came in and flopped down on it, a slender form in the moonlight._

_"Yes," she muttered, "Now go away." Too bad. I couldn't move. I just stood there like an idiot staring at her. _She slept here. _A vivid picture played in my mind. I was running, the Swan house getting nearer and nearer. I jumped through that familiar bedroom window and someone rose to greet me. Only it wasn't who I expected, or rather, it was who I expected. It was Danny. I stalked over to her and we kissed. Not a short sweet kiss, not a "hello, how are you" kiss, but a deep, deep kiss, the kind of kiss that usually leads somewhere else. _

_I caught myself and almost groaned. What was HAPPENING to me? I was starting to become like Emmett! Or worse, Newton! As _she_ came into my line of sight again, I knew I had to get away from here, far far away. Holding my breath, so as not to breath in any more of her addicting scent, I jumped out the window and ran. Somewhere, anywhere, as long as I was away from her._

_End Flashback._

Yep, I thought, definitely can't afford something else like last night. I walked into the house, locating Bella and the smell of blueberry pancakes in the kitchen. I wrapped my arms around her and gave her a big kiss. Bella laughed and turned around, returning the favor. But something seemed off… not quite right, as if I were kissing the wrong person. I quickly shut my mind to that idea, not wanting to ask myself who the "right" person is, and frustrated, I deepened the kiss. This time, it was Bella who pulled away, gasping for breath.

She laughed, "I thought we were saving that for our honeymoon." I laughed too, but mine had a false ring to it. _False,_ I thought, _interesting word._ I shook it off.

"Blueberry pancakes," I asked?

"Yup, I need to bribe Danny into doing something."

Instantly curious, I asked, "Which is…" Bella bit her lip, looking worried.

"I'm not a hundred percent sure of the idea yet…"

I sighed, "Spit it out, Bella."

"Well, I was hoping to set Danny up on a date with Jacob. Jacob's been through so much, and it was all because of me and Danny… she had a horrible experience with her last boyfriend, she found him making out with two girls… at once Edward!" I, at this, I almost growled. The idea of someone doing that to Danny made me infuriated. Luckily, Bella wasn't looking at my face to see my expression

"And I thought it would be so beneficial for both of them if they found each other." I sighed. I knew immediately what Bella was on about. She was hoping that Jacob would imprint on Danny and everyone would live happily ever after.

"How are you going to get Jacob there, Bella?" I thought this was stop her, but it didn't. She kept right on going.

"Seth," she said cheerfully, "I've enlisted Seth's help. Jacob believes that he's going to meet someone from the Makah tribe, to talk about the new boundaries between the two reservations."

"And what if Danny refuses?" I was secretly hoping that she would. I couldn't stand the thought of her dating Jacob. I tried to convince myself that it was because Jacob was a werewolf, but deep down, I knew that wasn't true. I had gotten over that months ago. I wouldn't like if Danny went out with anyone, werewolf or not.

"She won't," Bella answered cheerfully, but this time, with a slight note of uncertainty in her voice, "She never could resist blueberry pancakes." Blueberry pancakes. Huh. I stored that in the facts about Danny part of my brain, right next to the fact that she had an idiot boyfriend (who in their right minds would cheat on someone like Danny?), that she was impulsive, and that she sure can handle a gun. _Since when did you have a facts about Danny compartment? _I put it out of mind.

"So what do you think Edward?" I thought about it. I didn't want Danny to go out, but it was for the best. For her, for Bella and I, for Jacob, and for my own sanity.

"I think it's a great idea," I said finally. Bella beamed, her smile lighting up the room.

At that point, Danny walked into the room, and said, "Good morning, Bella," either pointedly ignoring me or just not noticing I was there. I had been so absorbed in my thoughts that I hadn't noticed her getting up. Otherwise, I would have been long gone before she came in the room, filling it with her intoxicating prescence. I stopped my breathing, but I could still _feel_ her aura surround me. I looked at her and was shocked by her appearance. She had dark circles under her eyes and a weary, tired expression that even the heavy make-up that she put on couldn't hide. But somehow, she was still beautiful in a frail, delicate type of way, like a wilting flower, although it was clear that she hadn't slept much last night. Last night…

"I should go," I said abruptly. Danny finally looked at me. I wish she hadn't. I immediately got pulled into those green eyes of hers. I tore my gaze away from her and to Bella.

"Why," Bella pouted. I quickly thought up of a reason why.

"Um… Alice needs me to help her fix her car." Bella looked convinced, but Danny didn't. She saw right through my flimsy excuse. _Liar, _she thought towards me.

"Okay" Bella said. I gave her a quick kiss and then I tore away from that place. _Three more weeks, Edward, three more weeks and then it will all be over…_ For some reason, that made me sad when it should've made me happy, which angered me and I pushed myself harder to get away from that house and that girl.


	12. Chapter 12 Date Night

(A/N: All outfit items on my profile

**(A/N: All outfit items are now on my profile.)**

DPOV

Later that night found me in Alice's bedroom, undergoing the torture that she bestowed on me. And let me tell you, a make-over with Alice is torture. She poked and prodded each and every inch of you. A year ago, I would've been psyched to be getting a makeover. But now, I just wanted out.

"Are we done yet?" I whined to Alice.

"Almost there," she chirped. The little monster actually enjoyed this. I huffed grumpily as Alice swiped one more coat of lip gloss onto my lips.

"Done," she pronounced finally. Inwardly, I leaped for joy.

"NOW you can look," Alice said. She had refused to let me look in the mirror in the duration of the process, wanting to have a "grand reveal" as she put it. So the whole time, I was stuck looking at the wall.

I turned around in my chair and gasped. The girl who looked back at me in the mirror was not who I expected it to be, plain old Danny; it was someone who was infinitely more beautiful. Alice had covered my lips in a pale pink, shell colored lip gloss and she had dusted my eyelids with a beige eyeshadow that brought out my green eyes in striking clarity. She had also tamed my usually wildly wavy auburn hair into a type of pony tail, with notches every inch or so down the tail. Completing the look was an ivory headband, carved into many tiny white daisies. I wasn't simple Danny anymore.

Noting my expression, Alice said smugly, "You're welcome." I simply nodded dumbly. Alice pushed me toward her overly large closet.

"Now hurry up! You still have to change into your dress! You can't go on a date in nothing but that ratty old bathrobe." _HA! Ratty old bathrobe_, I thought. That bathrobe was far from ratty. It was Alice's and it was one of the softest and most luxurious things I have ever experienced. It was like being wrapped in a cloud. But then, my thoughts turned back to what Alice had said.

"Alice! I totally forgot to find a dress! Bella rushed me here before I could think!"

"Don't be silly," Alice scoffed, "you think I'd let you wear something of your own, or even worse, something from Bella's closet? If you have Bella's fashion sense… Please. I bought an outfit for you." I was offended (what did that mean if I had Bella's fashion sense?), but had no time to argue as Alice fairly ripped the bathrobe from my body and slipped me into a dress, all in the duration of a second. She took a step back and gasped.

"Even better than I thought," she said, her eyes wide.

I opened my mouth to argue but she whipped me around toward the mirror and said, "Look!" I looked and all thoughts of arguing went out of my mind. On my body was an off the shoulder, leaf-green dress that hugged my curves in all the right places and made my legs like miles long. I couldn't believe it. That girl in the mirror couldn't be human. She was super-human.

"Holy crap," I breathed.

"Language, Danny!" I heard Esme reprimand me from downstairs. I had totally forgotten that I was in a house of vampires and they could hear every word I said, no matter how softly I said it.

"You look like a wood nymph," said Alice. I nodded, mute again. Alice was the first to snap out of it. She pulled something else out of the bag that she had near her and handed me a pair of shoes.

"Put these on," she commanded. I took one look at the shoes and snapped back to reality.

"Alice," I complained, "you can't seriously expect me to wear these!" The shoes were cream colored, four-and-a-half inch tall death traps. "I'll kill myself trying to walk in these!"

"I do and you won't," Alice replied firmly, "Now put these on." There was no arguing now. I sighed and slipped on the monstrosities of shoes and stood up unsteadily, swaying a little on the high heels. Alice stood up and steadied me.

"See," she said, "you look even better!" Mentally, I admitted grudgingly that she was right. My legs looked even longer and sleeker if that was possible.

"Now one more thing before you head downstairs to wow the others," Alice said, "your clutch." And she handed me a white, boxy clutch with a ladybug clasp.

"Thanks, Alice," I said, because no matter my complaints, I was thankful. I couldn't imagine how dowdy I would look next to _this_ if I had done my own hair and make-up and picked my own outfit.

"It's what I do," Alice said happily as she pushed me out into the hallway, "Now wait right here until I call you." I stood at the top of the stairs and Alice danced down the staircase.

"VAMPIRES AND VAMPIRETTES! Oh, and Bella too. Sorry, Bella, totally forgot you aren't changed yet. MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE!" Alice roared.

"Quiet down Alice," Edward's amused voice drifted up towards me, "We can all hear you without you trying to shatter our eardrums." _What? When did Edward get here?_

"Yes, indoor voice, please, Alice," Esme said. I guessed that everyone was all gathered because Alice continued.

"It is my honor to present the lovely… the gorgeous… MISS DANIELLE RORY!!" This being my cue, I carefully went down the stairs gripping the banister for support. As I went down, a collective gasp went up and Esme, Bella, and Rosalie started the ooh-in and ahh-ing.

"Danny!" exclaimed Rosalie, "You look hot!" Bella fervently nodded in agreement. Edward looked as solemn as ever, probably thinking that I looked more like an asparagus than a wood nymph. But then again, why should I care? I really shouldn't.

Everything went smoothly until the very last step. A heel wrenched under me and if it wasn't for Alice catching me, I would've fallen and twisted my ankle. I thanked Alice and steadied myself, glaring at Emmett, who was guffawing loudly.

"Awesome! She's just as clumsy as Bella!" Emmett laughed. I was mad. At myself for failing to walk straight in these heels, at these heels for being so damned tall and at Emmett for laughing. Before I could stop myself, I impulsively picked up one of my heels and threw it at Emmett. Amazingly it hit the mark and bounced right off his forehead. Emmett had such a surprised expression on his face that everyone else burst out laughing, even the usually stony Edward.

"Thanks, Danny," laughed Rosalie, "saved me the effort of whapping him."

"No problem," I said, my face a fiery shade of red. I was a bit embarrassed now by my impulsiveness.

"Okay, now that we've all had our fun, Danny has to go or she'll be late," said Alice. I meekly wobbled over to where the shoe I had thrown was lying on the floor and put it back on. Impatient, Alice all but pushed me toward the door. I stopped right in front of the door and turned around to face Alice.

"Um, Alice, how am I supposed to get there? I can't drive in these shoes and I don't think Bella's truck can make it there in time."

"What are we, bumps on a log? I'm driving you there silly," Alice said reproachfully, "and Jacob will be driving you back."

"Jacob's driving her back," Edward burst out, his teeth clenched, "she's going to be alone with him, in a car." I looked at him curiously. Why should this bother him?

"Edward!" Bella reproached, "I thought you were over this thing with Jacob already?"

"What thing?" I asked, but no one answered me. _What is Edward's _problem_?_ _He's the reason I'm so miserable and now that I have a chance to forget about him for once he won't LET me?_

"Edward, _let it go_," Alice snarled, yes, snarled. I looked, bewildered, between Alice who looked admonitory, Bella who looked worried, and Edward who looked murderous. After a second that seemed like a lifetime, Edward's expression relaxed and he gave a brief nod. Alice seemed to accept this, as did everyone else who also relaxed from their tense posture as Edward did. However, I was the only one who saw that streak of rebellion still in his eyes.

"Come on Danny, let's go," Alice said quietly, pushing me out the door, "you're gonna be late." As I headed out the door, I swiveled my head around and caught Edward's eye, giving him my best, _don't you dare mess this up for me_, look. Seeing what happened with the whole wicker arch thing, he was probably going to do something over the top and stupid. But as I really looked at him, his expression changed. Instead of looking rebellious and stubborn, he looked… pleading?

Alice shoved me into the leather seat of one of her less noticeable cars (as if!) and we drove off into the night, the last image of Edward still burning into my mind.

--

By the time we got to the Italian restaurant in Port Angeles, I had succeeded through much effort in putting Edward out of my mind. I mean, what kind of shmoe thinks about another guy during a date with someone else? I was starting to actually look forward to my date, to the chance of falling in love with someone who was not engaged or otherwise romantically involved with someone else, especially my best friend.

"Don't have too much fun now," Alice said to me, wiggling her eyebrows. And then she all but pushed me out of the car. I stumbled out onto the pavement and righted myself to see the black Audi disappearing into the darkness.

"Thanks, Alice," I muttered. I walked into the restaurant and found the host, a boy who seemed only about a few years older than I was, standing in front of the door.

"Um- Hi. I'm looking for Jacob Black? I'm his date for tonight."

"Okay, hold o-," the host said, then looked up, his eyes widening and a grin spreading across his face, "well, hel-LO. Are you sure that's your date for tonight, 'cuz you know I'd be happy to help out if your date-less." _Ew. _The way he was staring at me made me feel self-conscious and just … _ew._ I crossed my arms in front of me.

"Yes, I'm sure that's my date for tonight," I told him firmly, my face hardening while his fell a tiny bit. _Good_, _he got the message_.

"Well, um, this way," he mumbled and led me through an array of tables and chairs and people dining to a private booth where a very tall, russet-skinned boy sat. Although the term boy could be used loosely here since Jacob was probably taller than more ripped than most grown men twice his age.

"Here is your date for this evening, Mr. Black, Ms. Rory. Enjoy your dinner please. Your waitress will be here shortly," the host said and left. Jacob looked up quizzically from the drinks menu at the word date and when he saw me, his face registered nothing but shock.

"You're not from the Makah reservation," he said, his mouth hanging slightly open.

"Huh?" was my very intelligent response. _Makah reservation?! What did Bella tell this poor kid?_

"Who _are_ you?" Jacob demanded, his face now holding an accusatory tone.

"I'm Danny Rory, your date like the host said," I said, a bit irritated now, "Gosh, didn't Bella tell you anything?"

"Bella," he mumbled, "I should've known. That little- I told her that-"

"Well," I said, beyond irritated now, both at him and at Bella, "aren't you going to ask me to sit down? Or should I just leave now seeing as how I'm not the one you're waiting for tonight?" He jumped, as if just realizing I was there and his knees hit the table, shaking the salt and pepper shakers and sugar packet holders that were on the table. I choked back a laugh, because it was kind of funny the way his fingers flew over the table to try to right the fallen shakers.

"I'm sorry," he said, truly looking apologetic, "I completely forgot my manners. My father would kill me if he were here now." He stood up and shook my hand.

"My name's Jacob Black," he said. I noticed how truly tall he was as he towered over me. My hand pretty much disappeared into his larger one. "And I'm sorry that I don't know yours…"

"My name's Danny," I said, smiling at him now that there was some semblance of normality to the evening. I looked at the table, hoping he got the hint that I really didn't want to have to stand one more second in these damn heels. He noticed, smart boy.

"Oh right, sit down, sit down," Jacob said. I took my seat opposite of him.

"You look very beautiful tonight," he said.

"Thank you," I said, and blushed. I wasn't used to such compliments.

"If you don't mind me asking," Jacob said, "how do you know Bella?"

"Well, I suppose you can't tell from my name can you, but I'm Bella's cousin and her best friend since like, ever. She invited me here for the wedding. I'm helping Alice out with the decorations and planning and stuff."

"You're helping out the lee- I mean, Alice?"

"Yeah. The Cullens… are really nice. Bella is going to have some wonderful in-laws." _Well, at least most of them except the one that was destroying my sanity._

"Yeah, I bet she will. What has Bella told you about me?" For some reason, Jacob looked a bit guarded at this question and I couldn't find out anything from those dark unfathomable eyes. _What a strange question to ask._

"Not much," I admitted, "just that you were a bit younger than us and that you lived on the Quileute reservation in La Push." He relaxed at this. _I wonder what secrets he's hiding_.

"I'm sorry I'm like bombarding you with questions right now," Jacob said, "you must think I'm a nut."

"Oh don't worry," I said, "I'm a nut too." I smiled at him and he smiled back. Just then, the waiter came and took our orders. The rest of the date went normally, with us talking about our interests and such things. I learned about his father and all of his friends, how they're just like brothers and pretty much share a mind. By the end of the date, I felt good about Jacob and was positive that we could become good friends. Whether he could become more was a question of time. However, I couldn't escape the fact that every time I looked across the table, I couldn't help hoping that it was Edward there instead of Jacob. But at least he didn't actually show up in person and mess everything up, like I had expected him to. That had distracted me all evening, looking around for even a hint of bronze to indicate that he was here to screw things up for me.

"So are you going to Bella's wedding? She must have invited you. You do seem to be her best friend, but ranked under me of course," I teased. But somehow, this question wiped the smile off of his face. Crap. What did I say?

"She did invite you, didn't she?" I asked. This didn't make sense. Bella wouldn't have not invited him. That's just not… Bella.

"No no, I'm not going," he said.

"You're not? Why?" I asked, but immediately regretted it. Me and my stupid big mouth.

"Its… complicated," he said, looking pained. I left it at that, not wanting to hurt him even further. _Maybe this is what Bella was talking about, the problems that Jacob was facing. Maybe she wanted me to help Jacob so he could come to her wedding. Huh, maybe it has something to do with Edward, considering the way he reacted to Jacob earlier tonight._

We walked out of the restaurant and stepped outside. For some reason, Jacob's hand tightened around mine and I wondered why until I saw _him_, leaning against that stupid silver Volvo.

"Edward, _what are you doing here?_" I hissed.

"I'm driving you home," he stated, as if there was no question to it and I really had no choice.

"Nuh-uh," I said obstinately, "Jake's driving me home." For some reason his face fell at the use of the familiar.

"You heard her man," Jake said through gritted teeth, "I'm driving her home."

"No, she WILL be coming home with me." And Edward let out a real snarl, as did Jacob, who strangely enough, was trembling rather violently. Before I knew it they were up in each other's face and although I didn't know WHAT was going on between them, I knew this couldn't be good.

"Woah woah woah WOAH!" I shouted, squeezing between them, facing Edward and glaring at him, "What do you think you're doing?! Pick on someone your own size!" I looked at Jacob, who pretty much towered over Edward and decided that particular phrase wouldn't really work. "Or someone your own species," I muttered, low enough only for him to hear, "you KNOW who will walk away. This isn't a fair fight. **(A/N: Danny still thinks Jacob is a very very tall human)**"

"Isn't that the whole idea?" Edward muttered. I gasped, not believing my ears and turned to Jacob, who was breathing heavily, the tremors still running through his body.

"Will you excuse us for a moment?" I said acidly and stalked to the side, Edward following me.

"Have you LOST your MIND?" I hissed at him, "WHAT do you think you're DOING?!"

"No, what do you think YOU'RE doing," Edward whisper-shouted, "You can't be ALONE with that d- with HIM! It's not safe?"

"Not SAFE?" I said incredulously, "Look who's talking? Jacob is as safe as Charlie is, okay?"

"You don't KNOW him."

"I don't KNOW him? I just spent an hour talking to him. He's a nice guy Edward! Don't you dare spoil this for me."

"Danny! He's a w- " He stopped himself and closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"A WHAT," I exploded, "He's a what?"

"I'm not at liberty to tell. Just… let me drive you home, okay Danielle?"

"I don't need you telling me what to do, okay? You are not my father and I can make my OWN choices. I'm eighteen, dammit. I'll do what I want."

"Danny, please. Use your sense for once and _come home with me_." This last time, he was something I had never seen before. I was… pleading with me. And he looked so pitiful that it just stopped me right in the middle of harsh retort I was about to give him that he was the one that had no sense if he thought I was going anywhere with him. And oh, how I wished he was saying that last phrase in another situation, another time, another world. _Stop it, Danny. Edward is… just stop thinking about him that way._

"Fine," I snapped, shooting the word out at him as if it were a bullet, "but I'm not going to be happy about it." I marched off toward Jacob but was stopped by Edward's hand on my wrist. I caught my breath. The simple gesture sent waves of heat through my body even though his hand was ice-cold.

"_Where_ do you think you're going," he hissed angrily. I quickly composed my self and turned around to snap back at him.

"I have to say good-bye to my date, don't I or am I not even allowed to do that?"

Edward reluctantly let go of my wrist and said, "One minute."

I narrowed my eyes and said, "You wish," and walked back over to Jacob.

"Hey, Jake. I'm sorry, but Edward's being an asshole and I'm thinking I'd better let him take me home before he dies of an aneurysm," I said, suppressing a smile at the idea of _Edward_ having an aneurysm, "I'm really sorry, but Bella would hate me if I let Edward die of something as silly as not letting him drive me home."

"Figures," Jake snorted. I frowned.

"Hey," I sad, pulling his face down so our eyes were looking into each other, "I really am sorry. If I could have it my way, I'd be heading back to Forks with you right now." He believed me, but his eyes didn't soften any.

"You know why Bella set us up on this date, don't you," he asked.

"Yes," I said hesitantly, "but this isn't a pity date Jacob. I don't do pity dates, okay? I am here because I want to be." I peered up at him, willing him to believe me and his eyes softened just a tiny bit. Just to prove it to him and to make up for the disastrous end to the evening and partly, though I didn't want to admit it, to forget about the magnetic presence standing near the silver Volvo, I kissed him. He was a bit surprised at first, but then kissed me back. It was a nice kiss, if it weren't for the fact that I was wishing that someone else was in Jacob's place. Strangely enough, it seemed that Jacob was wishing the same thing, but with me instead. I chalked it up to my own problems twisting things up.

The kiss was broken abruptly by Edward who roughly shoved the two of us apart.

"That was more than a minute," he snarled. I was about to open my mouth to argue with him when before I knew it, Jacob was…standing in a offensive crouch and Edward was standing in front of me in a defensive position. _What is going on?!_ There was no reason I needed defense from Jacob.

"Okay! We get it Edward." I yelled at him, pulling at his arm and not succeeding, ducking under it to face him.

"Sorry, Jake," I said, "I had a really nice time. I'll see you Monday."

"Bye," he said, trembling yet again. _I wonder why he does that?_ I turned around to go to the silver Volvo, glaring at Edward as I passed him.

"You're meeting him _again_?" he said incredulously.

"Yes," I growled, "isn't that what two people who had a good date, emphasis on had, normally do?"

"Depends on what you mean by people," he muttered. Reaching the Volvo, I swirled around to look at him.

"Just what is your problem, Edward?" He laughed bitterly.

"You really don't want to know." Shaking my head in seething disbelief, I climbed into that stupid silver Volvo and slammed the door as hard as I could. _Just what was it about him that makes my blood boil?_ Edward screeched out of the parking space and peeled away. I turned around to get one last goodbye to Jacob, but he was nowhere to be seen. Huffily, I turned back around.

As the road flew underneath us, the atmosphere inside the car was one of silence and tension. ALL types of tension. I sat closer to the window, trying to ignore the fact that I was only a foot away from Edward in a dark, enclosed space. But however much I tried to get away, something was pulling me closer, almost like some magnetic force. I could _feel_ him sitting there as if I were sitting against him, his skin against mine… but these thoughts led to ones of a less innocent quality and grinding my teeth in frustration, I wedged myself even closer toward the window.

"You know," Edward started sarcastically, "it really isn't possible for you to go any further without actually jumping out of the car." He paused, "Don't do that, by the way."

"Go to hell, Edward," I muttered. Stupid vampire. He was making it really hard for me to ignore him and my body's… response to the proximity of his body to mine.

"Don't worry, I'm already in it," Edward mumbled, seemingly to himself and seemingly unaware that I could here him. I glanced at him, hurt by his comment. He was gripping the steering wheel as if he wanted to break it, his knuckles whiter than the rest of his skin, if that were even possible. Being with me is hell? _Well what did you expect, dumbo? You're screaming at him all the time._ I fought back the tears that threatened to cascade down my cheeks, knowing full well that I really shouldn't care what Edward thought of me. I never did care what anyone thought of me, except my mom, Renée, Charlie, and Bella. I never even really cared what Dexter had thought of me.

When all the tears were stuffed back into their little box and I trusted myself to speak again, I asked, "Where's Bella?"

"She's spending the evening with Angela."

"Oh."

"What?"

"Oh nothing. I just can't wait to see what Bella does to you when she hears about your little stunt tonight." I smiled wickedly. That surprised him. I could feel it even though I wasn't even looking at him. It was clear that he hadn't really thought of what Bella what think.

"I'm sure she'll understand," Edward said, but there was a tinge of doubt in his voice.

"Un-huh. Of course she will." There was silence for five more minutes. Five more minutes of me trying not to feel the attraction that drew me do the amazing being driving the Volvo and five more minutes of Edward pretty much throttling the poor steering wheel.

"You look beautiful tonight, did I tell you that yet?" Edward said softly. I looked at him, startled. _What?_ _That was way off topic_.

"That doesn't take you off the hook Edward," I retorted acidly, although inside I was flying from those four little words. Amazing, how four little words can make it seem as if someone had set my soul on fire.

"I wasn't trying to get off the hook." I stared at him, but there was no sign of mendacity in his expression. _Could it be…? No, that would just be so wrong._ There was silence for the rest of the car trip home.


	13. Chapter 13 Questions and Rescues Part 1

I stood at the precipice of the cliff looking down at the rocks below that spun at the dizzying height I was at. I gulped, my heart pounding.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Jacob asked me skeptically.

"Y-yup," I said. I was already strapped to the bungee cord anyway. I wasn't about to back down now. Jacob shook his head in disbelief.

It had been four days since my first date with him, and everything turned out the way I predicted. Edward got in HUGE trouble, and not just with Bella either. I seriously thought that Alice was going to rip his head off, which was rather strange since I didn't think that Alice had any reason to be mad at Edward.

As a result, with Edward's objections removed, I had spent the last three days hanging out with Jacob. We did everything together. We went surfing, water-skiing, motorbike riding (Jacob taught me how), in short, everything that my mom would never have let me do back home and Bella would've shook her head in disapproval at. But it was fun. Most importantly, it took part (but sadly, not all) of my mind off of Edward. Jacob was a fun person to hang around when he wasn't moody, which he was some of the time. He had this interesting sense of humor and constantly made me laugh. Still, the image of Edward in Jacob's place continued to frustrate me.

_Hopefully this will cure that_, I thought as I stared down into the ravine.

"You ready?" Jacob shouted, over the chants of "JUMP! JUMP! JUMP! JUMP!" coming from Embry, Quil, and Jacob's other pals. The only one who wasn't chanting was Seth, who watched worriedly from the sidelines. Out of all of Jacob's buddies, Seth was my favorite. He was such a sweet kid…

"Danny! Are you ready?!?" Jacob repeated.

"As ready as I'll ever be," I told him breathlessly.

"Okay! On the count of three! One…" Jacob shouted. I caught my breath.

"Two…." I squeezed my eyes closed.

"Three…" We jumped. Or at least Jacob did. I just sort of toppled over.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed, locking my arms and legs around Jacob, as we plummeted down toward the rocks. The elastic cord yanked us back up about three quarters of the way down and we came to a stop about halfway down the cliffs. I stared dumbly at the upside down world around me, waiting for my breath to catch up with me. _I wonder what Edward…_ SHUT UP!!! I told that voice.

"Are you okay?" Jake asked, peering worriedly at me.

"Yeah…" I rasped. Then my breath came back to me.

"THAT WAS SO FREAKING AWESOME!!!" I screamed.

"For you, maybe," Jacob grumbled, "I might not be able to hear for the next three days."

I giggled and said, "Sorry Jake."

"'S'okay," he smiled and ruffled my hair, then joked, "Although I must admit I do like the sound of you screaming in my ear when you're all wrapped around me like this." I gasped, blushing red and whacked him on the arm.

"You are so bad, Jacob."

"I know," he said, "Do you wanna do it again?"

"Hell yeah…" I said, then paused, "As soon as my heart comes back up from my stomach at least." Jacob chuckled then looked at me.

"You can let go now, you know," he said, looking at the death grip my arms and legs were making around his body.

I blushed and said, "Sorry," and let go. Embry and the others began pulling us up so someone else could have a go.

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I jabbered excitedly about the afternoon on the car ride home, finally lapsing into silence when I had nothing more to say. I hated those silences. Without the distraction, my mind became 100% focused on Edward. I struggled to find something, anything to talk about when Jacob solved my problem for me.

"Hey Danny," he started.

"Yeah?" I answered, relieved to be talking again.

"I don't know about the timing of these things, or how you like to deal with these things, or…"

"Just spit it out Jake!" I teased. For some reason, this phrase made him look strangely at me, but he continued.

"Would you like to be my girlfriend?" he finished. I couldn't speak. For some reason, his question surprised me, which it shouldn't have. Wasn't this where it was all going anyway? _But Edward…_ _But Edward what? Edward is Bella's. Bella is Edward's. What you want is impossible. Besides, this was the whole reason that you went out with Jake in the first place, to forget about Edward. This is what you need. Having Jacob as a boyfriend might be able to help you replace your feelings (if they're even real) for Edward with your feelings for Jacob._

However, as hard as I might argue for saying yes, my heart was saying no. As if in protest what was going on, my heart started pumping faster. The word no was bubbling up from underneath, but I looked up, and seeing the increasingly anxious look on Jacob's face because of my silence, I shoved that impulse back under the rug and said, "Yes."

Jacob's anxiety evaporated and he broke into a smile.

"Cool," he said, and offered me his hand. I took it, hating myself for the rest of the ride for wishing that it was Edward's snow white instead of russet brown, but nonetheless setting my mind that I would try as hard as I could to forget.

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"So…," said Bella when we were back in the Cullens' kitchen, "what have you and Jake been doing this afternoon? We thought that all he would bring back were your mangled remains from the sounds of your blood-curdling screams."

"How'd you know I was screaming?" I asked curiously.

"Oh, _**I**_ didn't." Bella said, motioning toward the vampires that were congregated in the living room. "But let's just say, your screams were loud enough to be heard by them quite clearly. Or actually, mostly just Edward. He about jumped out of his skin, he was so convinced that you were being murdered or something," Bella giggled, "but he was really worried. He pretty much had to be physically restrained from crossing the treaty…" Here she trailed off, looking stricken, as if she said something she shouldn't have.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing, he was just really worried was all. He obviously doesn't know you as well as I do. You were probably just fooling around and fell into a puddle or something."

"Oh," was my response. _That's strange. It doesn't seem as if Edward would care at all about me. But then again, this evening… _I looked over my shoulder at Edward, who was sitting at the kitchen table and who was staring straight at me. But before I could lower my gaze, he lowered his and seemed to be trying to develop a new vampire superpower by trying to bore a hole through Esme's kitchen table. _Yup, I was right. Still, how bizarre…_

"What were you doing anyway?" said Bella, breaking through my traitor thoughts of how perfect Edward was – perfectly unattainable, that is.

"Oh, um..." I said, pretending to be concentrating on making my sandwich with the sandwich fixings that Esme had bought us for dinner, while also trying to find a way not to tell Bella that I had been bungee-jumping. Coming up with zip, zero, nada, I decided to just tell Bella, since she was bound to find out anyways.

"Well?" Bella said, hands stilled from their sandwich making and waiting for my response.

"Oh… nothing much, just you know… your average day of… bungee jumping," I said, barely muttering the last two words. I braced myself for the remonstration that was bound to come from Bella (God, she was like my mother sometimes!), and it did come, but not from who I had expected.

"You WHAT?!" Edward exploded, staring at me in incredulous horror. Emmett's booming laughter came from the next room along with the comments, "So that's why Edward was all jumpy today. Man, I wish I could've been there to seen _that_."

"What… what did she say?" Bella said, bewildered. Turns out that she didn't hear me at all. But it seemed that Edward did and his reaction totally bewildered _me._ It also triggered a reaction deep inside me and as a result, I stood up, looked Edward in the eye and clearly and defiantly said the words, "Bungee. Jumping."

But this time, it was Bella who reacted first.

"You went bungee-jumping?" I nodded mutely.

"I thought we had passed that whole talk you out of jumping out of the plane phase in your life." I sighed. It seemed that a certain someone had brought that back.

"Oh well. I suppose I could expect nothing less out of you. You always were like Renée. I'm just glad you had fun with Jacob." This made Edward look even more enraged than he already was. Huh. I'll save that bit of information in case I ever need it later on.

"What else have you been doing this – oh wait, you know what, I don't think I want to know," she said, "if it's anything like bungee-jumping." I laughed, glancing at Edward. He had sat down now, but was still tense and it looked like he could go off like a firecracker at any moment's notice. _What a strange guy…_

"So… anything else I need to know?" Bella asked. Well, I might as well tell her now, I thought.

"Actually yeah. Um… Jacob asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes," I said, avoiding Bella's eyes so as to conceal my true feelings about this subject.

Bella's gasp of delight stuck in her throat as there was a crack that resounded around the Cullens' large and spacious kitchen. Bella and I whirled around to see Edward with the cracked remains of Esme's kitchen table at his feet.

"Edward!" Bella and a dismayed Esme who was in the living room, cried.

"Are you okay, Edward?" Bella asked softly, "You've been acting really strangely today." Edward, eyes still blazing, stared down at the pieces of table at his feet, and then without saying anything, he was gone, leaving Bella and me looking at each other with questioning looks in our eyes. Then without a word, Alice left too, with a brusque, "Excuse me," leaving us more confused than before.

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It was twilight after the end of yet another day spent with Jacob, and the sun had just set, painting the sky a multitude of brilliant hues. Jacob pulled up to the house and set the parking brake, leaving the engine idling. We sat there in silence, my mind scrambling to find something to say.

"So…" Jacob said.

"So."

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow, then."

"Yeah. I guess so."

"Listen, I'm really glad that you're my girlfriend now," Jake said, "I've had a really rough time the last couple of months, and well… you help me forget a little." I looked at him, startled. I knew that he had had a really rough time, Bella had told me that, but it was the last part of his comment that struck a little bit too close to home.

"I'm glad to be here for you, Jake," I said, smiling at him even though my heart was tearing itself apart from the inside out. Jake smiled at me, leaning over to plant a kiss on my cheek that was very sweet, but so wrong….

I smiled one last time at him and hopped out of the car, standing on the sidewalk and watching his car until it disappeared around the curve. Sighing, I turned around and headed up the walkway, reaching into my bag to look for my key. My hand groped around in my bag, until I finally, dismally, remembered that I had left my key on the dresser in Bella's room. Groaning, I looked up at the house and, just my luck, no one was home. As I reached into my bag for my cell phone, a shadow from the side of the house moved, startling me.

I grabbed my bag, ready to attack if necessary and called out, "Who's there?"

"Aww… com'on baby… you can't seriously've forgott'n me," said an all-too familiar male voice. I squinted into the darkness.

"Dexter?! What the _hell_ are you doing here?"

"I came t' find you babe," Dexter said, his words slurring together, "why'dyou runoff on me like tha'?"

"Are you… are you _drunk_." I asked incredulously.

"Don' change the subject on me, babe," the repulsive toad said, moving towards me. I stepped back, but something hard hit my back. I glanced over my shoulder. It was the wall. Oh great. I was cornered.

"Now com'on. Come back wi'me. I foun'a motel room for us. We can start gettin' it _on,_" Dexter said, smirking lewdly at me.

"Stay away from me, Dexter," I warned, looking for a path of escape as Dexter inched closer, "we're done." He looked at me contemptuously.

"An' can you explain t'me exactly why we're done?" he said. All thoughts of escape flew out of my mind as rage overtook me.

"Can I tell you exactly _why_ we're done? _WHY?!_ Hmm… let's think, maybe it's because I found you screwing, not one, but TWO blond bimbos and not just that, but you even had the _nerve_ to ask me to join you! Oh gosh, I wonder _why_ we broke up Dexter!" I spit out. As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I regretted them, not for what I said, but because in the time that it took me for my tirade, I found Dexter's arms caging me in and his face less than an inch from mine, his foul beer-breath filling my nostrils.

"Aww… com'on, babe, y'know y'want me…" Dexter said, pressing himself against me. I almost puked as I felt his erection pressing against my stomach.

Looking him in the eye, I said, "Fuck you, Dexter," and tried to push him off of me. Poor choice of words…

"Alright then, y'said it…" Dexter said, a smirk creasing his hateful face. Before I knew it, his mouth was on mine and it felt like he was trying to suck my face off. I screamed and pummeled him, but to no use. Tears threatened to spill as I recognized the futility of my situation. Dexter was at least fifty pounds heavier than I and more than half a foot taller. There was no way I could escape. I was his now, his to do whatever he wanted with… As the implications of my situation sank in even deeper and Dexter's hands started to travel up my shirt, I became frantic and struggled even more, preparing to scream as suddenly, Dexter was gone. I opened my eyes and saw Dexter lying on the ground, unconscious and Edward standing in front of me, arms spread out around me, growling.

He turned around to me, his eyes blazing and asked, "Are you okay?"

"Yes… no… I don't know," I said shakily. A sob ripped out of my chest as the full impact of what just happened hit me and I sank to the ground, convulsing in tears.

"Hey… hey…" Edward said in a softer voice, "It's okay now. Everything's fine. No one's gonna hurt you." A second later, I felt a pair of cold stone arms wrap around me and rocking me from side to side. For some reason, this instantly calmed me and my sobs subsided, replaced by a feeling of security and tenderness that was so different from Dexter's embrace.

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," Edward said, "but what happened? Who's this…" Here, he trailed off in contempt, apparently not finding a strong enough word of his liking to describe Dexter. Personally, I wouldn't have been able to either.

"This is Dexter… my ex-boyfriend from back east. God knows how the hell he managed to get himself over here."

"He's drunk," Edward remarked disgustedly. I nodded mutely.

Then, something occurred to me.

"What were you doing here anyway? Aren't you supposed to be with Bella?"

"Bella's at Angela's. Again. She wants to spend as much time as possible with her friends before she…" He trailed off, but he didn't have to say anything else for me to understand.

"Okay, but what were _you_ doing here?"

"Oh… um… I was hunting… around this area…" Edward said uncomfortably. Bullshit. I knew from Bella that vampires shouldn't hunt from people.

"You were hunting?" I said.

"Yeah"

"You can't hunt around humans."

"Oh… um… well… can't a vampire go wherever he wants to." He said, exasperated. Before I could pump him for more information, a red truck pulled up and Bella hopped out of it, running towards me. Edward's arms abandoned their position around my body and I immediately missed their security.

"Oh my god, Danny! What happened? Are you okay?" By the time she got to where I was, Edward was standing five feet away from me, as if a magnetic force existed between us and he couldn't get any closer to me, his face back to its stone-like expression. Bella finally saw Dexter lying on the ground and she gasped.

"I'm fine, Bells. Dexter's here, if you haven't noticed yet." Bella looked at me, her eyes wide.

"God Danny! Did he hurt you? I mean… did he…" I knew where she was heading and I scurried to calm her fears.

"No, no Bella. He was trying to, but Edward was coincidentally close by," I glanced at him, showing that I didn't buy the reasons that he fed to me, but that I wasn't about to sell him out to Bella, "thus the reason why Dexter is on the ground, un-conscious. Not that it makes much difference to when he actually is conscious."

"I'm so glad you're okay," Bella breathed, squeezing me in a hug, "I pulled up and saw you sitting by yourself on the grass, your face all dirty and your hair rumpled and I almost had a heart attack." Then she turned to Edward.

"Thank you so much Edward," she said, hugging him and giving him a kiss, "I don't know what any of us would do without you." _What indeed_, I thought wryly as I remembered all the torture I had gone through the past week.

"So, what are we gonna do about Dexter?" Bella asked. I looked at the inert form on the grass.

"I dunno. He can stay here and rot for all I care, but I want him the hell away from me and I don't think Charlie would be too happy to see him here either, so…" I had a wicked thought, "Let's dump him in the creek."

Bella laughed, "Good idea. Edward?"

"Do you really trust me alone with this poor excuse for a human being?"

Bella bit her lip, "You know I trust you with anything Edward, but if it really is difficult for you, I suppose that we can call Emmett or Carlisle and they'll do it."

Edward changed his mind, "No, no I'll do it." He walked over to where Dexter was lying and picked him up by his shirt, as if Dexter were a dirty nappy from a black plague ridden baby that he didn't want to contaminate himself with. Then, he was gone.

"Alright, let's get you inside, Danny." I followed her, but as I neared the threshold of the house, I paused and looked back at Edward, thoughts whirling around in my head that I didn't want to admit to myself.

**Hey everyone! Sorry for updating so late. It's just that everything's so hectic with school and homework and tests and crap... But anyways, hope you enjoyed chapter 13 and review review review! -StarryTwilightGirl**


	14. Chapter 14 Questions and Rescues Part 2

**Hey guys, **

**Okay, this is pretty much the same as the last chapter, except in Edward's POV. I hoping that it'll give more insight into Edward's struggle. Caution: there's some strong language near the end, so those with weaker stomachs beware! And remember review review review!**

**Love always,**

**Starrytwilightgirl**

EPOV

It was one of those rare, bright sunny days in Forks, and the beautiful weather should have lifted my spirits, but no. I was moody again, something that I seemed to be a lot of these past two weeks or so. Although I tried to be at least a little bit more joyful in Bella's presence, I sank into the pit again when I was by myself. However, my heart seemed to just automatically lighten up whenever Danny came around, which, ironically, just made me even more moody than I was the day the before. I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. The sooner this wedding was over and sooner _she_ leaves, the better… I was sick of trying to stay away from her.

But my heart, which seemed to not want to listen to anything I told it these days, broke a little at the though of Danny leaving and never coming back. I groaned and mentally kicked myself, willing myself to concentrate on the matter at hand, which was Bella.

I refocused my eyes on the two figures in the bright sunlight. Alice was trying to guide my poor hapless fiancée through what would happen during the actual ceremony and Bella was obviously confused by Alice's intricate choreography. At this, I had to smile. Poor Bella…

Suddenly, a scream wafted over the tree-tops to my ears and instantly, before the invisible fist ever even hit me in the gut, I knew it was Danny. There wasn't much thinking involved anymore, I _had_ to get to where she was. If she was in anything less than perfect condition…then damn it, there was going to be hell to pay.

I tensed, preparing to spring away when my eyes met Alice's who was all of a sudden right in front of me. It was obvious that she had heard it too, and that she didn't think anything of it.

"Don't, Edward."

"She _screamed_, Alice."

"That doesn't tell you anything."

"What if she's in trouble? What if…"

"Edward," Alice chided, "chill…" I stared at her, not backing down.

"No, I have to go."

"Edward! Are you really willing to cross the treaty line? To send us and the wolves into war with each other? Do you really want to hurt Bella in that way?"

"Hey, what happened?" Bella had approached us now in the six seconds it took me and Alice to have this conversation… six seconds in which anything could have happened to… But then I got an eyeful of Bella's worried expression, and guilt flooded my conscience. Taking in deep breaths of _Bella's_ scent, I slowly started to relax. _It's okay, Edward. Calm down. Everything will be okay. She will come home in one piece. She WILL come home in one piece._

"Bella," Alice asked, "Do you have any idea what Danny was planning to do with Jacob, today?"

"No," Bella frowned, "why?" That did NOT make me feel any better.

"Well, it's just that Edward and I both heard Danny screaming and we were wondering what was up. Edward was wondering whether you should go and check to see if she's okay." _That's the understatement of the year_, I thought sarcastically. Surprisingly, Bella started laughing.

"Are you serious?" she said. Alice and I both stared at her like she had gone nuts.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Bella said, looking at our confused expressions, "It's just that, you don't know Danny like I do. She could be screaming about anything. She's kind of like you in that way Alice. Besides, Jacob wouldn't let anything happen to her." Alice gave me a look and thought, _See, I told you everything's okay._ I glared back at her, not totally convinced, especially about the last part.

"Okay Bella. Now get back to your position you slacker! I'll be with you soon." Alice teased. Bella pouted and trudged back to await more of Alice's torture.

"Now are you good Edward, or do I have to get Jasper to come down and watch you?" A little emotional peace sounded very appealing, but the idea of being watched like a misbehaving five-year old repulsed me, so I gritted my teeth and resolved to control myself.

"No, that's fine."

"Are you—"

"I'm sure, Alice." Looking convinced, Alice went back to Bella and her Herculean task in trying to get Bella to understand where to go at each little count in the wedding march. I slipped into the woods, lay down on the ground, and closed my eyes, willing myself to simply forget that scream, a sound that I never wanted to hear again.

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Danny was back. I watched as she and Bella stood at the counter fixing sandwiches for dinner. Although she physically looked fine, I wanted to catch any hints of what she might have been doing this afternoon. As a result, here I was, sitting at the kitchen table, pretty much eavesdropping on her and Bella's conversation.

"So…," said Bella, "what have you and Jake been doing this afternoon? We thought that all he would bring back were your mangled remains from the sounds of your blood-curdling screams." My ears perked up, even though I could hear perfectly fine.

"How'd you know I was screaming?" Danny asked curiously. Well, at least she doesn't sound traumatized or anything. But I kept on listening anyway, if only for the sound of her voice… _Stop it Edward._

"Oh, _**I**_ didn't." Bella said, motioning toward the rest of us. "But let's just say, your screams were loud enough to be heard by them quite clearly. Or actually, mostly just Edward. He about jumped out of his skin, he was so convinced that you were being murdered or something," Bella giggled, "but he was really worried. He pretty much had to be physically restrained from crossing the treaty…" I tensed up, almost… Although, Bella, in her exaggerations, was closer to the truth than she would ever know. As Alice's thoughts focused in my mind, I could tell that she was shocked too.

"What?" Danny asked.

"Nothing, he was just really worried was all. He obviously doesn't know you as well as I do. You were probably just fooling around and fell into a puddle or something."

"Oh," Danny said, seeming a bit puzzled. She looked over at me and my eyes caught her startling green ones. As I caught myself falling into their depths, I tore my eyes away from hers and proceeded to stare down at the table instead. I felt Danny turn away.

"What were you doing anyway?" said Bella.

"Oh, um..." Danny said. She seemed to be holding something back… something she didn't really want to say. _What is it_, I thought in frustration. I listened even harder.

After a while, with no response, Bella said, "Well?" and waited for Danny's response, like I was doing, only to a much lesser degree.

"Oh… nothing much, just you know… your average day of… bungee jumping," Danny said, barely muttering the last two words. But I heard it anyway, and I exploded.

"You WHAT?!" I exclaimed in horror. I couldn't imagine what would have happened if that had gone awry. Or actually, I could, but I didn't want to think about it too much.

Emmett's booming laughter came from the next room along with the comments, "So that's why Edward was all jumpy today. Man, I wish I could've been there to see _that_." My annoyance at Emmett was completely overwhelmed by my terror at what could have happened to _her_.

"What… what did she say?" Bella said, bewildered. Danny apparently didn't hear, as she stood up, pinned me in place with her eyes and articulated the words, "Bungee. Jumping." as if curious to see how I would react. But, my horror couldn't be elevated any more and all I could do was stare dumbly at her.

"You went bungee-jumping?" Bella said. Danny nodded meekly. It seemed as if Bella had more influence over her than I did.

"I thought we had passed that whole talk you out of jumping out of the plane phase in your life." Bella demanded. Danny sighed. I couldn't be any more surprised.

"Oh well. I suppose I could expect nothing less out of you. You always were like Renée. I'm just glad you had fun with Jacob." Bella said. This last part infuriated me. _Had fun with Jacob?!_ What was Bella thinking?

"What else have you been doing this – oh wait, you know what, I don't think I want to know," Bella said, "if it's anything like bungee-jumping." Danny laughed, and glanced at me, seemingly to see if I would do anything more. But by this time, I had regained at least a little bit control of myself and I was sitting at the table again, but still tense. I was seething.

"So… anything else I need to know?" Bella asked. Danny deliberated, and finally decided on something. The expression on her face looked as if she were voluntarily feeding herself to the lions.

"Actually yeah. Um… Jacob asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes," Danny said, avoiding Bella's eyes.

This proved to be too much for me as my grip on the table tightened and I inadvertently broke Esme's favorite kitchen table. I would have felt bad, but then I was too out of it to care. Bella and Danny whirled around at the crack that reverberated through the kitchen and stared, surprised, at the remains of the table at my feet.

"Edward!" Bella and a dismayed Esme who was in the living room, cried.

"Are you okay, Edward?" Bella asked softly, "You've been acting really strangely today." I couldn't meet Bella's eyes, afraid to reveal to her what I was really thinking, so I looked down at the pieces of Esme's unfortunate kitchen table instead. Finally, unable to stand being in the same room with Danny with my present thoughts, I fled, as I had done many times in the past few weeks.

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It wasn't long before Alice caught up with me. I knew she was coming and I slowed to let her catch up. I needed some distraction.

"What is wrong with you?" Alice hissed, "Have you gone insane or something? I mean, is there some kind of vampire virus going around that I don't know about, because it seems like you caught something."

"I can't believe she went bungee-jumping… Can you imagine what would have happened to her if the rope broke, Alice?" I said miserably.

"Forget about Danny! What about Bella? Did you even notice how worried she was? Honestly Edward, you can't keep on doing this. You have to make a choice!"

"You know my choice."

"Then you better stick to it," Alice said fiercely, "I don't want to see Bella hurt, Edward."

"You think I want to hurt her, Alice? I don't understand this anymore than you do! Sometimes," here, I broke down a little, wearied by the emotional rollercoaster I've been on for the last two weeks, "sometimes, I don't even know who I am anymore."

Alice's expression softened, and she sat down next to me on a log.

"I'm not going to pretend I know exactly how you feel Edward, because as long as I've existed, there was only Jasper and always Jasper. But I swear I'll help you get through this, whatever you decide…"

"Thanks Alice," I said softly. There was silence for a while, then Alice spoke again.

"You know, I'm going to tell you something that I always tell Jasper whenever his control is weak, or whenever he feels that he can't help himself and has a craving for human blood."

I cringed at her comparison between my strange attachment to Danny and Jasper's craving for human blood, but I replied anyway, "Go on."

"Just keep fighting." I had to keep myself from chuckling. If it were only that easy…

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It was yet another lazy afternoon and I didn't have the company of Bella to distract me. Danny was yet again out with Jacob and everyone else was minding their own business as well, leaving me to wander the woods alone, torturing myself with what might be happening to Danny and mentally punishing myself for even thinking about her. I stopped and leaned against a tree, squeezing my eyes shut and trying to concentrate only on breathing. No use. Closing my eyes only took away the minimal distraction of the forest scenery around me.

I had just resigned myself to an afternoon of mindless gloom when…

WHAM! The worst feeling in the world just hit me like a semi-truck smack in the center of my gut. It was so intense that I almost bent over and gagged. _What the hell is wrong with me?_ I thought. For no reason, I had an inexplicable urge to go crashing into Bella's house. It was as if there was some unknown force dragging me there. Groaning, I picked myself off the ground and ran faster than I had ever run in my life, a feeling of dread slowly creeping over my heart until I was almost crying in terror. _WHAT THE HELL?!?!_

As I ran, an intruding thought pushed its way into my mind. It was a bit blurry, but graphic nonetheless. It seemed like someone was thinking about what they were going to do to their girlfriend or wife or whatever that night. I groaned. Some people have such nasty minds. I cleared my head of the red headed girl in the intruding thought and ran faster.

Bella's house neared my view just when a familiar scent crossed my path. _What…?_ And then I saw her. Danny. But not just Danny. She wasn't alone. There was an unknown boy pressed against her. I skidded to a stop, completely taken by surprise. This is what it, whatever it was, made me come here for? To watch Danny kissing, or no, not even kissing, it was full out snogging, with another boy? I almost growled in frustration. _There's no question about it anymore, God really does hate me._ I was about to turn away, like a kicked dog, when the boy's thoughts crossed my mind. My mind reeled in shock and fury as I remembered the nasty thoughts from five minutes ago and realized that the girl in those thoughts were Danny. _God, how much more of this can I take?_

I listened more closely, and incensing me further, discovered that whatever the cretin was thinking was not consensual on Danny's part. This was further confirmed as my gaze zoomed in on the creature's hand roaming up Danny's shirt and Danny started to scream and squirm.

That was it. I snapped. Everything I had told myself about Danny and everything Alice had told me the night before flew out of the window and with a roar, I launched myself at the worthless rat and knocked him halfway across the yard. The boy thudded against the ground and was motionless. Nevertheless, I still positioned myself in front of Danny, just in case. When I made sure that the boy was not going to move for a while, I turned around to Danny, still rather furious at what had almost happened to her, and asked her if she was okay. I almost hit myself, it was such a stupid question. She looked like she was about to pass out herself.

"Yes… no… I don't know," she said shakily. Then, a cry tore itself from deep within her and she sank to the ground, convulsing in heaving sobs.

"Hey… hey…" I said, a little scared now, as I had never seen Danny like this before, this vulnerable, "It's okay now. Everything's fine. No one's gonna hurt you." I hesitated for a moment, then thought, _what the hell, I'm already here so what difference is one more broken rule going to make_, and pulled her to my side. After a while, Danny's sobs grew silent, and she remained still. A bit too still for my liking, so I started to talk to her, hoping to get at least some signs of life out of her.

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," I started, "but what happened? Who's this…" I trailed off. I had run out of words to describe the worm that was lying in the dust.

"This is Dexter… my ex-boyfriend from back east. God knows how the hell he managed to get himself over here." I looked over at him and caught a new smell. There was such a strong smell of bars and taverns emanating from the fellow that I didn't know how I missed it before.

"He's drunk," I said in disgust. Danny nodded. There was nothing else to say about that. There was silence for a while. Then:

"What were you doing here anyway? Aren't you supposed to be with Bella?" _Damn. _I tried to avoid the subject

"Bella's at Angela's. Again. She wants to spend as much time as possible with her friends before she…" I stopped again. This was a touchy subject. I didn't want to upset Danny anymore at this point. But it seemed she understood for she nodded and didn't say anything, or thank God, started crying again.

"Okay, but what were _you_ doing here?" _Damn again. She's never going to let me get away with anything_.

"Oh… um… I was hunting… around this area…" I said, trying to make something good up but failing miserably, a bit preoccupied at the warm spot her body was creating in my side. If I were human, I would be sweating bullets right now. I didn't even have to look at her to know that she wasn't taking the bait.

"You were hunting?"

"Yeah"

"You can't hunt around humans." _Great_.

"Oh… um… well… can't a vampire go wherever he wants to." I said, tired of trying to make stuff up now. Danny opened her mouth again to say something, but I was saved by Bella's monster of a truck. _Thank you Bella!!!_ Finally, Alice's words came back to me and I released my hold on Danny as if she were a red hot iron. I instantly missed the warmth of their body, but shook off the emotion, my guilt coming back to me as I watched Bella bounding across the lawn.

"Oh my god, Danny! What happened? Are you okay?" I stepped as far away as possible from Danny without having to leave the scene and rearranged my face into a neutral expression, determined to reveal nothing of what I had felt five minutes before. Bella saw Dexter lying on the ground and she gasped.

"I'm fine, Bells. Dexter's here, if you haven't noticed yet."

"God Danny! Did he hurt you? I mean… did he…" I saw where Bella was going, and struggled to control my anger at what could have happened to Danny. Danny could see as well, and she hurried to reassure Bella.

"No, no Bella. He was trying to, but Edward was coincidentally close by," she glanced at me, reminding me that I still haven't told her the truth and that she wasn't going to forget it, "thus the reason why Dexter is on the ground, un-conscious. Not that it makes much difference to when he actually is conscious." I would have laughed if I did not want to strangle the person in question.

"I'm so glad you're okay," Bella breathed, squeezing Danny in a hug, "I pulled up and saw you sitting by yourself on the grass, your face all dirty and your hair rumpled and I almost had a heart attack." Then she turned to me.

"Thank you so much Edward," she said, hugging me and giving me a kiss that might as well have been a bullet to the heart due to the huge insurge of guilt that it instigated, "I don't know what any of us would do without you." _Nope, God does hate me._

"So, what are we gonna do about Dexter?" Bella asked. Danny looked at the inert form on the grass. _What indeed_, I thought darkly. Death was not good enough for this guy.

"I dunno. He can stay here and rot for all I care, but I want him the hell away from me and I don't think Charlie would be too happy to see him here either, so…" a wicked smile curled Danny's lips, "Let's dump him in the creek."

Bella laughed, "Good idea. Edward?"

I looked at her morosely, "Do you really trust me alone with this poor excuse for a human being?"

Bella bit her lip, "You know I trust you with anything Edward, but if it really is difficult for you, I suppose that we can call Emmett or Carlisle and they'll do it." More guilt, if possible flooded in, changing my mind for me.

"No, no I'll do it." I stalked over to the dirty dog and picked him up by the scruff of his collar, not wanting to dirty myself with his putrid being. I rushed away. As I did, everything that had happened rushed back to me and I tried not to think of my weakness. Why can't I just stay away from her? Of course the obvious reason was that Danny was possibly just about to be ruthlessly violated but… _you know you were dying to see her Edward._ What am I going to do?

I neared the creek and dumped Dexter in. As he hit the ice cold water, he sputtered and backed away in terror as his eyes met mine, which were probably coal black with anger and contempt at this point. He struggled to back away but I grabbed hold of the front of his shirt, ripping part of the fabric as I dragged him an inch close to my face.

"What is your problem man?" Dexter whimpered

"You better shut your mouth if you want to live through today because I am about this close to killing you," I hissed, "and if you EVER touch Danny again, I will personally hunt you down and break every bone in your worthless body." If I thought that would shut him up, I was wrong.

"What the fuck, you faggot? I'm her fucking boyfriend. I can do whatever the hell I want with her. Who the fuck do you think you are? You can't do anything to me you pansy!" I burned in anger as I closed my eyes and thought, _Thou shalt not kill…thou shalt not kill…_. Well, the Bible never said anything about bitch-slapping a pervert halfway to China. So I smacked the boy and doused him in water again.

As he came up spluttering, I leaned in close to him, gave him a flash of my teeth, and said "Wanna bet?" His eyes widened and the putrid smell of urine told me he had wet his pants. Disgusted, I let him go and whimpering, he scurried away.

I sighed, nailing myself to the ground to make sure I didn't do anything I'd regret. Having ensured perfect control of myself, I moved my feet and started home, Danny's face once again forcing its way into my mind.

**Okay, you know what to do! Hint: It starts with re and rhymes with view.**


	15. Chapter 15 Jitters

**Hey guys! So... I'm proud to say I FINALLY watched the twilight movie, like, a month after it came out. I just haven't had time before the winter holidays to do so. And let me just say, that I thought the movie was pretty amazing. A lot of people said that it wouldn't be good if you compared it with the book, but I personally thought that even if you do compare it, it's still really good. I thought it was a bit more intense than the book was, but maybe it's just the transition from the page to the screen. Anyways, they did a really good job of pulling people into the plot. Btw, just a side note here, how much are you willing to bet that for the sunshine sparkle scene, they just dumped a gallon of body glitter on Rob Pattinson? :) Finally, don't forget to review!!!**

DPOV

I shivered a little as a chill summer breeze came in through the open window and ruffled the curtains of Alice's bedroom, raising goosebumps on my arm.

Two days had passed since Dexter's unfortunate arrival here in Forks and Bella and I were both trying to put the incident out of our minds. We both decided not to tell Charlie, since Dexter had already been caught on the outskirts of town for drunk driving and jailed, and besides, we didn't need him to be gone two weeks before the wedding. The only thing he should be thinking of right now is whether his suit is correctly tailored or not (a rather pointless thought since Alice was getting it tailored for him).

"Stay still, Danny," Bella admonished as she added one more layer of polish onto the nail of my big toe. All of the Cullens were out hunting and Bella and I were in Alice's room, partaking of her immense nail polish collection. My fingernails already sported ten different colors. Surprisingly, I wasn't the one who had suggested the girl-time together. It was Bella who had done so. I suspected there was more to her agenda than nail painting. She had become so quiet nowadays. It couldn't be more than pre-wedding jitters, I thought, but maybe, I looked worriedly at the increasingly reticent Bella, there was something more. _Had she noticed my feelings for Edward? Maybe I had slipped and stared at him a moment too long... Oh God, I hope not. Bella doesn't need any of my drama. Well, I suppose there's only one way to find out._

Then, I felt something wet on my toe. I glanced down to see that Bella, in all her preoccupation had painted beyond the boundary of my nail and was getting polish all over my foot.

"Bella, stop," I said.

"Huh?" Bella said, pausing for a moment. Then she saw my completely blue toe.

"Oh, oops. Sorry Danny. I wasn't really paying attention," Bella apologized. She looked around for some nail polish remover.

"Forget about my toe, Bella. What's going on with you. You've been really quiet lately."

"Nothing," Bella answered lightly, a bit too lightly, "Nothing's wrong, Danny. Really."

"Oh reeaaally," I said, "Then what's up with this whole mani-pedi session. I know you well enough to see that there's more than one reason why you suggested this. You see, you can't lie to me Bella." Bella sighed. She knew this as well as I did.

"Well, I don't know. It's just… does Edward seem different to you?"

"Huh?" I said, my heart beating a bit faster. _Oh God, what if she DOES know…_

"Sorry, that was kind of a weird question. It just that, I don't Danny, everything seems to be changing right now, in a way that kind of scares me. I love Edward, Danny, there's no doubt about that, but it seems as if I'm moving farther away from him."

_Well, I sure as heck wasn't expecting this, _I thought as I looked at Bella warily.

"What do you mean, Bells?"

"I guess what I'm trying to say is, am I doing the right thing here?"

"Confiding in me?"

"No, m-marrying Edward." I stared at her, a bit speechless. In all my wildest dreams, I hadn't been expecting this. There had always been Bella and Edward, Edward and Bella. It was almost heretical, although guiltily exhilarating, to think otherwise. The invisible clamp loosened its grip on my tongue and I was finally able to speak.

"Are you getting cold feet, Bells?"

"I don't know what it is Danny, but somehow, I feel… as if everything's wrong now. As if the last two years were another reality, one that didn't really exist." I stared at her. Bella laughed.

"Wow, I'm really speaking in riddles, aren't I?"

"Yeah, just a little," I admitted. I still wasn't quite sure what to make of this. How is it possible to be head over heels in love with someone and then a moment later, feel cut off from them?

"I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Look, Bella," I commanded, "Look at me." She looked.

"Is Edward the guy for you, Bella? Is he going to make you happy?"

"Y-yes." But there was a note of hesitation in her voice that I didn't fail to miss.

"Are you sure, Bella?"

"Yes." This time, with more conviction.

"Then it's simple. You marry him because you love him. Because he's the one. And don't let any pre-wedding jitters make you think otherwise, okay?"

"Alright, thanks Danny," said Bella. But she didn't look totally convinced. I still had to find another way to help her. But what…?

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I was lying on the bed of the guest bedroom, the moon streaming in through the window, thinking of my conversation with Bella. The house was relatively quiet, so I supposed that the Cullens were still not back yet. Bella's confusion troubled me. Something had to be done. Than, it came to me. Yes, yes; it was quite reasonable. Alice is a fast worker, and the family is arriving a week early anyhow. And besides, I thought this quietly to myself,_ the sooner the better, not just for Bella but for my sanity as well_. Thinking this, I got out of bed and threw on a robe. I tiptoed out into the hallway and soon found myself facing Edward's room.

Hoping that Bella was still awake, I carefully opened the door and found myself facing a sight that just about broke my heart. There was Bella sleeping as peacefully as ever, her head resting on Edward's shoulder, who cradled her as if she were made of paper thin glass. Then, my sense of propriety returned to me and I turned away, my face burning, because although they weren't doing anything, it still seemed as if I had boorishly trespassed on a privately intimate scene.

"Shh," Edward whispered needlessly, "She's sleeping."

"Sorry," I said, "I didn't know you were back." I turned to leave, my shattering heart making me forget what I was here for. But Edward brought it back for me…

"What did you want, Danny?" _You, _I thought, but then blasted the blasphemous thoughts out of my head to focus on the problem at hand. Well here was the problem. How was I supposed to tell Edward that Bella was having doubts? I quickly came up with a resolution.

"Bella was getting kind of jittery about the wedding, so I was thinking maybe it should be moved up a week. I mean, everything's nearly done anyway and all the family is arriving a week earlier, so I mean, why not? The sooner the better, right?" I laughed hollowly, trying to mask the pain within.

"I'll tell her when she wakes up." I started to leave.

"Danny?" I turned, half hopefully but then caught myself stayed still as a statue.

"Thank you for your concern." I cringed at the formal usage, and I barely muttered a no problem before high-tailing it back to my room where I could let out the pain with a good silent cry.

_It's done_, I thought, tears soaking my pillow.

**Okay, you know what to do... R-E-V-I-E-W. It's that easy.**


	16. Chapter 16 Bang!

**Okay, so this is like one of the saddest chapters in the book. I know I was crying when I was writing it. So... be sure to keep tissues nearby :) Oh, and review if you liked it (and even if you didn't).**

-**Starrytwilightgirl**

DPOV

It was an amazingly sunny day in Forks, and Bella and I were in Port Angeles, running some errands for Charlie. The wedding was now just two days away. Our family would be arriving tomorrow and the ceremony would be the day after that. To my relief, Bella seemed more cheerful the last couple of days, although she did have some pensive moments, but I simply attributed those to pre-wedding jitters.

The cool air conditioning of the bank blasted my hair out behind me as Bella and I walked through the automatic doors of the Port Angeles Bank. Charlie had needed to deposit a check and since Bella and I were going to Port Angeles anyway to pick up some stuff that Alice had ordered for the wedding, since, because of the weather, none of the Cullens were able to leave the house.

There were an abnormally large number of people in the bank, so Bella and I took our place in line and prepared to wait, chatting with each other about anything and everything. The line slowly inched forward and finally, there was just one person left in front of us. Bella was chatting to me about the merits of Jane Austen versus Emily Bronte when I noticed the room getting perceptibly darker. The shaft of sunlight we were standing in was disappearing and a quick glance out the window showed me that a fast approaching cloud was the reason why. I felt a sudden wave of unease. This place was sending out bad vibes.

"Bella," I said, interrupting her mid-sentence, "let's get out of here."

Bella looked at me curiously, "Why, Danny? We're almost there. Look, the person in front of us is finishing up right now and besides, we already waited, like, half an hour to get here."

"I dunno, Bella. This place is kinda giving me the creeps right now."

Bella stared at me like I was a lunatic, a worried expression on her face. I could almost hear what she was thinking. _How could a _bank_ give someone the creeps_.

The person in front of us finished up and left and we moved up to the counter.

"Don't worry, Danny. We just have to deposit Charlie's check and then we'll be out of here in a jiffy," Bella said, smiling at me reassuringly.

"Okay," I consented, "but hurry up. I _really _want to get out of here."

Bella turned around and the lady behind the counter smiled at her and opened her mouth to give the customary, "Hi! How can I help you?" But before she could speak, there was a loud bang and a couple of screams. Bella and I whirled around in horror.

"Alright! Nobody move! Anyone so much as open their mouth and I'll blast their head off!" a man in black sweats and a t-shirt, combat boots, and a ski mask shouted, waving a gun around. I was paralyzed, too stunned to even blink. _If only we'd left…_

No one was listening. People were running around screaming like headless chickens. I wanted to turn around at them and scream at them to shut up and stay still, because they were only making matters worse. The best thing to do now was to just do as the robber said. Money wasn't worth the cost of a human life. But before I could say anything, the robber spoke again.

"I said SHUT IT!!!" And he pointed the gun, which to my surprise was aimed straight at me, and pulled the trigger. I didn't even have time to be afraid. A deafening bang roared out as I squeezed my eyes shut and felt blood spatter me, waiting for my life to be over. Several women screamed. But, strangely, there was no pain. I tentatively opened my eyes and looked around. Horror washed over me as my tangled brain pieced together the horrible reality. Bella was slumped against the counter, eyes closed as if she were sleeping. But the red hole smack in the center of her chest that was seeping blood all over her white shirt told me otherwise. With a start, I realized that it wasn't my own blood I was covered in… it was _Bella's_.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" I shrieked in horror. I dropped down to my knees next to my best friend as I shook her, willing her to wake up, to not be dead. I put my ear against her bloody chest, but there was nothing to be heard. The murderer's voice broke through my pain.

"Are you going to shut the fuck up now?!" he demanded. Rage washed over my pain, as I whipped my head back to glare at him. I stood up, guarding Bella, although deep down in my heart, although I tried to deny it, I knew there was no point anymore.

"You fucking _BASTARD_!!!" I screamed, tears now running freely down my cheeks.

"You better sit the fuck down, lady, before you end up like you friend there!" the slimy git shouted. I saw red, and thinking nothing of my own safety, I grabbed the stapler that was on the counter, hurling it at him. It hit the mark surprisingly and I grabbed a number of other hard objects, throwing them as I aimed a string of profanities at Bella's killer. I grabbed a few more objects and continued throwing, advancing as I did.

The robber was yelling as well, some from pain as the items hit them, some profanities that he directed towards me. His gun fired off everywhere and people were running around everywhere, trying to dodge the shots. It was pure chaos. Everything was a blur to me, as I continued walking forward. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, I was at least an arm's length away from the robber. I had just a picture frame in my arsenal and I bashed it into his skull, murderously furious at this man who had taken away my best friend away from me.

"You crazy bi—" the man managed, before I kneed him in the groin and wrenched his gun away from him. I glanced at the revolver. Good, there were still some shots left.

I pointed the gun at the kneeling man in front of me.

"Give me one good reason not to shoot you right now." The guy looked up at me and smirked.

"You! Ha! You can't fool anyone, little girl, but yourself. You're not gonna shoot me." I kicked him square in the chest and he fell to the ground. I stepped on him and leaned down, pressing the muzzle against his throat.

"Wanna bet?" I whispered fiercely. There was a sudden gleam of fear in the man's eyes.

"Please…" I was sick. This slime of the earth was begging for his life when he had so nonchalantly taken another's? I was suddenly distracted by the whirr of the automatic doors and the "Oh my god" of a familiar voice. _Edward_…Another blur came into focus, turning into Alice, then Carlisle, Jasper, Esme, Emmett, and Rosalie.

Taking advantage of my preoccupation, the man grabbed the gun back from me and shot rang out. A sharp, burning pain ripped through my arm. Before I could even turn, there was a snarl and a shout of fright from the robber. When my eyes finally refocused, I saw Edward, holding the choking robber by the neck.

"Edward!" Carlisle said sharply, "let… go… He's not worth it. Besides, death is too good for him." With perceptible reluctance, Edward let the man drop, gasping to the floor. Then suddenly, too quick for anyone's eyes to see, the man's eyes were tied behind his back, a pig trussed up for the police.

"Danny…" Alice said, her voice full of pain, right beside me. Alice's pain suddenly reminded me of my own. And my head whipped back to take in the sight of the cold, still Bella, Carlisle already beside her, fruitlessly checking her vitals.

"Bella," I whispered. I ran back to her, and against my better judgment, pushed Carlisle's hands away, and hugged her to me.

"Bella. Wake up, please… please, wake up." Carlisle's eyes looked at me, a deep sea of sadness.

"She's gone, Danny. I can't do anything."

"NO!" I screamed, "You're lying! She's going to be alright!" I shook Bella's limp body. "Come on Bells, wake up. Edward's here. Wake up." An idea suddenly occurred to me and I whipped around to face Carlisle, my eyes wild.

"Change her! Change her NOW!!!" I thrust Bella's wrist in front of Carlisle's face, desperate for some way, any way, to get my friend back. Carlisle gently took Bella's arm and set it back on the ground.

"I can't Danny. She's gone. Her... her heart... it went right through..."

"NO! You can't say that... she'll be alright... please..."

My voice broke at the end, as the realization hit me that she was really never going to wake up. She was never going to look at me, with those trusting brown eyes again. We were never going to stay up, talking about books and movies. Her story was over. I sensed a presence near above me and I looked up, straight into Edward's golden eyes, Edward, whose face was now twisted with grief, pain, and… guilt? But before I could wonder, he was gone, taking whatever sanity, whatever dignity, I had left with him. I collapsed into wails, my head on Bella's still form.

"Come on, Danny," Carlisle said softly, "I need to treat you. You have a wound on your arm." He pulled my left arm softly, but I wouldn't budge.

"Go away," I sobbed.

"Danny…" Alice, this time.

"I said, LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"Danny…" Charlie? Charlie was here? I hadn't even noticed him coming in. His voice was broken, dead, reminding me again of the hole that was now in my heart.

"We have to get her on the stretcher, Danny…" There were hands, trying to separate me from Bella. I freaked.

"No! No! You can't take her away from me! She's NOT DEAD! She can't be…" I dissolved into more sobs. I couldn't even convince myself. She was gone… really gone. I clutched at Bella, refusing to let go. Then…

"Danny," a beautiful voice, "Danny… come on, get up. Bella will… would have… wanted you to. She wouldn't want you to be this way. She would want you to pull yourself together and let Carlisle take care of your arm. Come on now." I found my resistance fade and a pair of strong arms pull me up. I swayed and fell into Edward's arms. This was so wrong. Bella had just… But I wanted to stay. With the last ounce of my strength, I flung myself away from him and fell. But before I could hit the floor, Alice caught me and handed me over to Carlisle. The pain in my arm was finally overwhelming me and through my closing eyes, I took in the scene around me. Alice stood with Jasper, Rosalie with Emmett. They were all comforting each other, pain in their eyes. Esme stood, her hand cupped around her mouth, and although there were no tears, I somehow knew she was crying. I looked around, Charlie was standing there, among his colleagues, with his head in his hands, trying to pull himself together. The others were handcuffing the robber, who finally had his mask off. But I looked away. I didn't want to see his face. But there was someone missing… Where was…? But the blackness overtook me and I saw, and thought, no more.

**REVIEW!!! Thank you. :)**


	17. Chapter 17 Unreal

**Okay, so this chapter is not the most exciting per se, but it's really important, because Danny develops a very important… theory… that's gonna be a guiding force (although a totally wrong guiding force) for her throughout the next couple of chapters. Also, this is the part when she starts to kind of lose it, if you know what I mean. Grief affects people in strange ways. Enjoy!**

**Starrytwilightgirl.**

DPOV

There was a steady beeping sound by my head. The blurry shapes grew more and more distinct as my eyes fluttered open. Even before the sharp, stingy smell of medicines and drugs hit me, I realized I was in a hospital. The pain followed soon after as I realized exactly why I was here. Tears started running down my cheeks, soaking the pillow around me. _Funny…I should have run all of out tears by now…_

"Danny?" I turned my head.

"Mom?" And then, she was right above me, her familiar perfume filling my senses.

"Danny, you're awake."

"Mom," I sobbed, "I'm so glad you're here." She hugged me close to her and I felt her tears soaking the hospital gown I was in.

"_I'm_ so glad you're okay Danny. I don't know what I would have done if I lost you."

"B-Bella…" I choked out.

"I know, honey. Shhh… I know. I'm so sorry you had to see that." We wept some more and then, finally… finally, there were no more tears. My tear ducts had finally run dry.

"When did you get here?"

"Yesterday."

"Yesterday! It's Friday?"

"Yeah, you've been out for a while." I looked closer at my mom and noticed that there were deep dark circles under her beautiful eyes.

"Have you slept at all, Mom? You don't have to watch over me twenty-four seven. I'm not that hurt."

"Well, I've been going back and forth between you and Renée."

"Renée… how is she?" There was silence. "I guess I know."

"She wouldn't eat anything at all yesterday, no matter how hard Phil cajoled her and pleaded with her. So, I went and almost had to spoon feed her before she would eat anything."

"Where is everyone else?"

"Some people are staying at Charlie's. Many are staying at the Cullens. Their house is so big! It's amazing that they could fit all these people." _It's amazing that they managed to find all those beds_, I thought.

My mom continued, "Daddy's with Charlie right now, and so is Carlisle, Esme, and Edward."

"Where are they?" My mom paused, staring hard into my face.

"They're… making the final funeral arrangements right now, at the funeral home." I regretted ever asking. A fresh wave of pain slashed open my heart. My mom must have seen the expression on my face, because she hugged me closer.

"So," I said bitterly, "instead of a wedding, everyone came… for a funeral."

"Oh honey…," my mom said. I turned my face away. I wanted to be alone for a while. I could feel her hurt radiating off from her, as if my own hurt wasn't enough, and I was guilty, but I couldn't look her in the eyes, for fear that her pain would just remind me afresh of my own.

"I'm going to go check on Renée. I'll send Alice later to check on you." I nodded mutely, the words barely registering in my mind as I tried to block Bella's last moments from my mind. _Why? Why her?_ I asked no one. _What did she ever do to deserve this? What did __**I**_ _ever do to deserve this? _You love Edward, a malicious voice replied back. _No. _My mind recoiled from this fact. I couldn't believe that because I loved Edward, Bella was now dead. But the poisonous idea had taken root and as the seconds passed, I became more and more convinced that it was because I fell for Edward, that Bella was now dead. _You wanted to be with him Danny. You know you did, and still do. That's why Bella is dead. You know what they say… be careful what you wish for. _But I never wished for this! My mind was in agony.

"Danny?" It was Alice. Suddenly, all of my rage at myself found an outlet in her.

"Go away, Alice," I snapped. She froze in her tracks.

"Danny?" she said hesitantly, as if she didn't believe it was actually me. I glared even further.

"Why didn't you see this coming, Alice? Why didn't you stop us from going to the bank?"

"I-I… I couldn't see it. I can only see the paths people take when they decide to. You know that. In this case, he made a split decision to go into the bank. By the time my vision ended, it was too late." Alice looked like she was about to cry. My guilt at her expression dampened all of my rage.

"I'm sorry, Alice," I said more softly, "Of course it wasn't your fault. I'm going out of my mind. Will you forgive me?" And I opened my arms to her for a hug, to emphasize my point. Her face relaxed, and she readily came over to give me a hug.

"I'm so sorry, Danny… What a horrible…"Alice stumbled over her words, something she wouldn't normally do.

"I wish everyone would stop saying I'm sorry. It's not their fault that Bella's gone." I said mournfully. "It's mine."

Alice looked at me, "Danny. What are you talking about? Of course it's not your fault either. You didn't know what was about to happen. There was nothing you could have done." I kept silent. I didn't want to explain to her that I was in love with her brother. That would be buried away in my heart forever, like Bella would soon be. I heard more footsteps and I saw my mom enter the room yet again.

"Hey Danny. How are you doing?"

"No worse than before." I tried to smile, but it turned out as more of a grimace.

"Mom?"

"Yes?"

"Am I going home anytime soon?"

"Yes. Tomorrow, right after the fu—" she couldn't bring herself to say the ugly word, "—after the service, is when our flight leaves."

"Our flight," I repeated, confused. _Why would we need to fly to go just five miles?_

"Back east," my mom said, confused by my confusion.

"NO!" I said. Both my mom and Alice jumped. They obviously weren't expecting this. I tried to calm down.

"What I mean to say is, I'm not quite ready to leave yet mom. I think I need some closure, and I don't think I'll be able to find that back east. What I really meant was, when can I leave this hospital?" _Are you sure that's the only reason you want to stay_, a voice asked me. _SHUT UP!!!_

"You can leave today, hon. And as for going back east, Daddy and I are fine with whatever you want. But are you sure about being here alone?"

"I won't be alone, Mom. I'll have Charlie." She looked doubtful. She knew Charlie's solitary nature. "And Alice, Rosalie, Jasper, Emmett, Carlisle, Esme, and… yeah. That's hardly alone." I couldn't bring myself to say the last name. She looked doubtfully at me.

"She's right, Mrs. Rory. We'll take good care of her." Alice intoned. My mom looked convinced now. I looked at Alice and mouthed a thank you.

"Well, alright," my mom agreed.

"Now, can you get Carlisle back here? I really want out."

"Your release papers are all signed. Just let me go get your clothes so you can change out."

"Already done," Alice chimed, suddenly producing a set of clothes like a wizard pulling a rabbit out of a hat. Of course.

"Well then, you want to go change now?"

"Yes, please." And I grabbed the set of clothes and swung my feet around to the edge of the bed. I stood up and wasn't expecting the loss of balance, so I almost fell. But my mom caught me (as she had done so many times and the past) and held me by the shoulders until she was sure I wouldn't fall over again.

"Thanks." And I managed to wobble my way over to the bathroom to change.

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The cold rain drizzled, soaking my hair and the dress Alice had forced onto me as I listened to the monotone voice of the minister, reading the funeral passages over Bella's coffin. Someone, and I don't even remember who, offered me an umbrella a while before, but I had refused it. The coldness outside was nothing compared to the coldness inside of me.

"…ashes to ashes, dust to dust," the minister finished, and sprinkled dirt over Bella's coffin, already in the grave. As soon as the minister's voice faded out, there was a loud clamor. The formerly quiet meadow fairly echoed with the sounds of relatives crying and hugging each other, other comforting those who were sobbing. I simply stood there in the midst of it all, being jostled around, simply not noticing when people hugged me or offered their condolences. I could only stop and stare at the men who were shoveling the earth to cover my best friend in the whole wide world. It was all so surreal, as if I weren't really here, as if it really weren't happening, because it couldn't be, happening I mean. Bella couldn't really be gone, could she?

"Danny?" I felt a light touch on my shoulder, "it's time to go." I turned slowly to look into my mom's worried eyes and looked around me for the first time this ghastly day. I hadn't noticed that half the people have already left. Has a really been that long? I continued my way around the meadow and saw all the Cullens staring at me worriedly as well. There was Carlisle, probably wondering if he should've given me more pain meds, although he knew as well as I did that there was no amount of pain medication in the world to dull the pain that was in my heart. There was Esme, looking at me with all the concern of motherly love, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, and finally… Edward. Edward, whose eyes reflected the same pain that I had. Edward, whose presence took my breath away. Edward, who I had absolutely no right to think about right now, especially here. I ripped my eyes away from his and turned back to my mom.

"I'll think I'll stay here for a while, Mom, you know, gather my thoughts. You go on ahead without me. I'll find someone to take me home." My voice sounded strange. I hadn't really used it yet at all today and it sounded rusty and sounded gratingly in my head.

"Well, okay," my mom said hesitantly, "don't take too long." I simply nodded, not wanting to hear the voice of this unknown person again and stared again at the grave. The workers were already gone. The cool air rushing in to fill the place where my mom had been alerted me to her absence and I walked forward and plopped myself right in front of the line where the newly formed dirt mound met the bright green grass. I looked at the tombstone, reading the inscription for the first time…

Bella Marie Swan

1987-2006

_Beloved daughter, friend, and fiancée_

_May her soul rest in heaven_

_With the angels above._

My tears ran down again, mingling with the rain. Apparently my tear ducts had decided to turn back on. My eyes were completely dry during the funeral, while everyone else around me had been wringing out their wet handkerchiefs onto the grass behind them. As I looked and looked, my thoughts went back, back, back, back to when Bella and I were both kids and travelled their way to the now, lingering at all the high times and the low times, the laughter and the fights. _I never really got to say goodbye_… I suppose I had, that night she told me she was to be turned, but that was different. At least I knew that she was still there, even if I never saw her again. At least I knew that she was still warming the world with that loving smile, those caring eyes. Now, there was nothing.

I didn't notice when the environment around me grew darker. I didn't really care. A small snake slithered past me, put I payed it no mind, not scared like I normally would have been. I probably wouldn't even have budged if a bear lumbering in. I just didn't care.

I don't know when I fell asleep but the next thing I knew, I was lying on the ground, dew soaking me through and through, the birds chittering in the trees, light streaming in through the leaves and an anxious voice calling me…

"Oh my God. Danny? Danny?! Danny! Are you okay? Please… wake up!" I opened my eyes all the way open and I saw a worried pair of golden eyes peering into mine.

"Edward?" I was a bit woozy… _What happened?_

"Apparently, none of us remembered to drive you home," Edward said bleakly, "I'm sorry." _Huh?_ And then I remembered that I hadn't actually asked anything out loud.

"Stop it," I groaned.

"What?" There was that worried look again. Why was he worried about _me?_

"Stop reading my mind!" He chuckled briefly until I sent him a sharp look and his face settled back into the serious expression I knew only too well.

"Why didn't you go home with anyone?"

"I guess I lost track of time and I just kind of… fell asleep."

"I thought you were..." I looked at him.

"What… dead?" I said harshly. I was so out of my mind. I really shouldn't be saying things like this, especially considering…

"Yes," he whispered, then, fiercely, "but you're not."

"No," I whispered back, "_I'm_ not," and looked back at Bella's grave. Edward hesitated.

"Danny, if— if you ever need someone to talk to… well, just know that you're not alone." I looked at him. I knew it. I was being selfish. I wasn't the only one grieving and here I was, worrying everyone over nothing.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"For what?"

"For existing." Edward scrutinized me harshly.

"Whatever do you mean?" I kept silent. I wasn't about to explain it to _him_.

"What do you mean, Danny?" He was more urgent now. _Why?_

"Never mind. I was being silly." He appraised me for a moment, as if to assess the truth of my statement and found—nothing. Because I wouldn't let him find anything.

"Alright, well… let's get you home. Everyone's worried sick. For some reason, Alice couldn't see you. We all thought a bear had eaten you or something." He helped me up and we started back through the woods, silent the whole way.

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	18. Chapter 18 Delirium

DPOV

I got in so much trouble. Before I had even stepped out of the car, people were around me, smooshing and hugging and crying. My mom was almost inconsolable. My mom, who was always calm and composed was sobbing.

"Don't you ever do that again, Danny," she'd scolded, "especially at a time like this. I just can't lose you too."

"Mom," I said, shame-faced with guilt, "I'm okay. Really. Nothing happened to me. I just lost track of time and fell asleep." After that, she almost dragged me to Carlisle, to demand that he examine every inch of me to make sure there really wasn't anything wrong, and proclaimed it a miracle that I hadn't caught pneumonia sitting out there in the rain. Then, she demanded that I come home. I had to beg and plead with her for hours before she finally relented and let me stay. But, she'd warned, if there's even a whisper of anything, if I'd even only scratched my knee, I was going home. _Okay,_ I'd thought, _I'd be careful_.

And now, here I was, sitting here in a little alcove by the window at the Cullens', moping like I had been for the last day or two, and watching the rain pour in currents down the windows. I would have stayed at Charlie's house, but that would have meant that I would be sleeping in Bella's room, and that was just too much for me to handle. So, Esme, generous as she always was, offered the guest room to me for the rest of my stay. It was nice not to have to stare at Bella's empty bedroom all day long.

I wiped away a stray tear that ran down my cheek. I had to do something. I couldn't just mope here for the rest of the week. I was driving Jasper nuts. He never says anything and when I asked him about it, he said he understood and that I wasn't to worry myself over him, but I knew I was a downer on him. I had to get out of here and do something, anything. Then it came to me. Of course. Jacob! I had forgotten all about him! And come to think of it, I frowned, I hadn't seen him at the funeral. This new mystery managed to push back at least a little the tide of pain that came with thoughts of Bella and I was determined not to let it go. I hopped off the window ledge and went downstairs, looking for Esme or Alice.

"Hello?" I said. Alice was right by my side, a worried expression on her face. I sighed, they were all so worried about me. I didn't really deserve it and

I tried to tell them so, but they always brushed me off.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. I was just… wondering, if you could take me to Jacob's house. I want to go see how's he's holding up. Bella was his best friend after all," I frowned. _A best friend who didn't go to her funeral…_

"Danny, maybe you should stay and heal your own wounds first before you try to comfort others."

"No, no… this'll be good for me." I tried to smile, hoping it wasn't as weak as it felt.

"Well, alright… but you can drive there, right?"

"Are you busy?" She looked a bit strange.

"Yeah." I decided not to probe. She started to toss a pair of keys to me, but when I flinched, she remembered I had about as much hand-eye coordination as a doughnut and merely handed them to me.

"Thanks, Alice," I said, "I promise I'll get the car back without any scratches."

"It's not the car I'm worried about," she said, looking at me.

"I'll be fine, Alice," I said, "See you later."

"Bye."

I walked into the Cullen's garage and my eyes almost bugged out. Which car were these keys to? There were at least ten in here. I pressed the unlock button on the remote and a beautiful yellow Porsche beeped once as its doors unlocked. My eyes widened. Surely Alice didn't mean for me… I retraced my steps back to the house.

"Alice?"

"What's wrong?" I sighed, it seems as if that was the greeting that everyone gave me nowadays.

"Are you sure you want to give me your Porsche?"

"Well I'm not giving it to you, I'm lending it."

"You know what I mean."

"You'll bring it back. I trust you. But if you don't…" she joked, and bared her teeth. I smiled wanly in return.

"Okay, just making sure that Charlie doesn't come after me with reports of a stolen car." Alice laughed, chimes in the wind, and I went back to the garage and got in the Porsche. _Wo-ow_. _I better not crash this._ I took a couple of deep breaths and started slowly, carefully backing the car out of the garage. Slowly… slowly…

"DANNY!" a deep voice boomed. I jumped and slammed on the breaks, the car coming to a sudden stop.

"Emmett!" I screeched, " Don't DO that! If there's a scratch on this car, I'm telling Alice it was your fault and I'm gonna have her rip _you_ apart." He chuckled.

"I was just gonna say not to forget an umbrella." Oh. I hadn't realized it was still raining.

"Oh… thanks," I rolled down the window and he tossed in the umbrella. I flinched, convinced that it would hit me in the face but nothing happened and when I opened my eyes, there was the umbrella, sitting innocently on the seat next to me. Of course.

"Don't get eaten by the wolves," Emmett laughed at me.

"Wolves? I'm just going to Jacob's house."

"Oh, oops. Never mind." He looked guilty, as if he'd let something slip. I narrowed my eyes at him, but he was already gone. I sighed, shaking my head. Emmett was so weird. I continued backing up, releasing a sigh of relief as I finally got to the driveway. I drove carefully to Jake's house, and relaxed when I made it to his front door without a scratch. Good. The rain had stopped, too. Even better.

I had barely gotten out when the door of the house slammed and Jacob came stalking out.

"What the _hell_ are you lee—" he stopped when he saw me, confused.

"Danny?"

"Yeah, who'd you expect?"

"Well," he looked at the ride, "never mind."

"I know, it's flashy. It's Alice's. I would have driven the truck, but…" I left off, not able to finish my sentence. He understood. I scrutinized him. He looked bad, as if he hadn't slept in ages.

"Jake, when was the last time you slept?" No answer. That wasn't good. I stepped up and gave him a hug.

"I'm sorry, Jake. I know how you feel."

"No, you really don't."

"We both lost a friend."

"Sure, sure."

"Jake, Bella _was _your friend," I pulled back and looked at him sternly, "why weren't you there at the f-f-funeral?" I almost had to spit the word out.

"You wouldn't understand." I looked at him, a bit irritated at his attitude.

"Try me."

"No." From the tone of his voice, I could tell this was the end of the discussion. I decided that I didn't come here to argue with him.

"Jake, let's go do something."

"What?" He looked at me morosely.

"I dunno," I thought, and then, "Let's go to Port Angeles."

"Why? Wouldn't that just stir up bad memories?"

"I need some closure, Jake, and I'm sure it would be good for you, too." He thought about it for a moment.

"Okay, let's go."

"Alright, are we going in Alice's car?"

"No!" That was a brusque answer. I raised an eyebrow. "We'll take mine."

"Well, are you sure it's going to be okay here? Alice will kill me if there's a scratch on it. Well, no she wouldn't, but I'd still feel really bad."

"It'll be fine," Jacob said through his teeth, sounding as if he were secretly hoping it _wouldn't_ be fine. He was acting really strange.

"Are you okay, Jake? I can go by myself if you don't want to go." His expression softened a little.

"No, no. Ignore me. I'm being stupid." He smiled, but I could tell it was fake. "Let's go."

"Okay, if you're sure." We climbed into his Rabbit and sped away. The trip was spent in silence. I wanted to ask him more about how he was faring, if there was anything I could do, but as we got closer and closer to Port Angeles, the throbbing pain in my heart got more and more noticeable. When we finally crossed into the little town, Jacob asked,

"So, where do you want to go?"

Almost without thinking, I whispered, "The bank." Jacob looked sharply at me.

"Are you sure, Danny? Or are you just being masochistic?"

"No, no. Closure, remember?" I tried to smile at him, but didn't quite make it, so I just turned my face away. He seemed to debate it for a second, and then, drove towards the bank.

"Stop," I said, when we got to the doorstep. He did. I opened the door and got out.

"Danny, WHAT are you doing," he looked at me like I was truly crazy. Who knows? Maybe I was.

"I'm just gonna look around, Jacob. Cool your rockets," I replied as nonchalantly as I could.

He looked hard at me, then nodded, and said, "Okay, I'll go find a parking spot. You stay _right here_." I nodded and after a while, he rolled the window back up and pulled away. When he had disappeared around the corner, I stepped off the sidewalk and trudged my way towards the place where I'd lost my best friend. It was closed and seemed desolate and lifeless. The remnants of the yellow crime scene tape fluttered in the breeze. I closed my eyes and the events of that horrible day flashed before my eyes, each image slicing at my already mutilated heart as they went by… the bang… the blood spattering my shirt… Bella lying there... my horror…

I heard a curse in front of me and I opened my eyes to find Jacob standing in front of me.

"Damn it. I should've known you couldn't handle this. This was a bad idea. Come on, we're leaving." Jacob grabbed my arm and pulled. I stumbled alongside him. I was surprised to find my cheeks wet. I was crying. Again. I tugged my arm against his grasp, digging my heels into the sidewalk.

"No, Jacob. I just need to be alone for a while. Please."

"Like hell I am! You're coming with me. You look like… like… I don't know Danny! But you look bad."

"_Please_, Jacob." He looked at me and sighed.

"I can't believe I'm doing this. Charlie's gonna kill me," he groaned.

"Thanks, Jake."

"Okay, whatever. Just _stay here_, okay?"

"Sure, sure," I copied him. He harrumphed and strode back to get the car. I looked at the building again, pain pooling like blood in my heart. I clutched at the locket that was lying under my shirt, right above my heart, the locket that Bella had given that day she told me she was leaving. I have never taken it off since the day she gave it to me. This was all I had left of her. That and my memories. Another stab of pain… I wanted to be rid of this pain, or at least dull it somehow. _Why doesn't someone just hit me in the head with a rock?_

The blaring music and flashing lights of a nightclub in the next street broke into my thoughts. I stared at it, and like a moth attracted to a flame, my feet started moving in that direction, forgetting all about Jacob. Pretty soon, I found myself at the doorway and I was just about to step in when a beefy hand pushed me back.

"Woah woah woah there little lady. I need to see an ID."

I glanced up at him and in a voice that didn't seem like my own, I said, "My boyfriend drove me here. I didn't bring my ID."

"Where's your boyfriend?"

"Parking the car."

"Why would you not bring an ID if you're going clubbing?"

"Split decision." He didn't look convinced.

"You're really going to turn away a customer?" I prompted him.

"I'm not wanting to get caught by the police."

"Good. 'Cause you won't." I looked up at him, and I guess there was something in my eyes that changed his mind, because he stepped aside and let me in.

I stepped around the swerving bodies, barely noticing them and found myself at the bar.

The bartender came around and smiled at me, "And what would you like, baby?"

"Surprise me," I said dully. He smiled and said okay, and then plunked a shot of a clear something in front of me. I looked at it and decided that since I was already here, I might as well, and downed it. I shuddered as the drink burned its way down my throat. But, it did dull the pain, so I asked for another and downed that one as well and another and another and another… Pretty soon, I couldn't feel the pain at all, but the room was starting to spin. I frowned. _I didn't know this was a moving room…_I hiccupped. A dark shape took a seat in a bench next to me.

"Hello beautiful," a British accent greeted me.

"Hi," I said, giggling. _Why am I laughing? That wasn't really funny. Oh well…at least the pain is gone._

"You know what I just cannot believe?"

"What?" I hiccupped again. _Wow. That's embarrassing._

"How someone who looks like you is here alone."

I tried rolling my eyes, but somehow, the room rolled instead and I fell forward. A pair of arms caught me.

"Woah there. You're a fast one aren't you?"

"Not really." The words came out slurred. I found yet another drink in front of me and I downed that one too. I was so thirsty.

There was a commotion at the door and then suddenly, my vision was covered with russet brown.

"Danny," a voice said, both relieved and mad as hell. Who was this again? I struggled to remember.

"Hmm…" Then, I couldn't remember anything else.

EPOV

The rain had finally stopped and the night was actually clear, the moon sending its luminous rays down into the forest. I had just finished hunting and was heading back to the house.

These last few days have been hard. Danny had been staying at our house and it didn't take mind-reading abilities to feel the pain that radiated from her everyday. As if my own confusion wasn't enough…

Bella's death was a shock, but even more shocking was my reaction, or lack thereof, to it. I kept waiting for myself to go off the deep end, to feel an incredible urge to fly off to Italy. It never happened. I was grieving the fact that Bella was gone, that I would never see her face again, but more in the way that Alice grieved. What gave me more pain was Danny's broken expression every morning. _Bella is your fiancée. You should be raving right now_. But I wasn't, and that troubled me. Was I really such a slime? The sight of Danny sobbing over Bella's corpse had cut me deeper than Bella's body itself. And that morning, when I found Danny lying still by her tomb… I shuddered. I blocked the images from my mind. I shouldn't be thinking about her… Bella, Bella. I struggled to plant images of Bella in my mind and keep them there, but the images of Danny kept interfering. I cursed and ran faster.

The sound of laughter rang through the woods, a sound I would've recognized anywhere. I stopped in my tracks. What was Danny doing here? I became worried. I hurried towards the sound and screeched to a halt when I saw them. Jacob stiffened for a second, but kept on walking. Her arm was around the dog's neck and his arm was curled around her waist, supporting her and half dragging her along as she stumbled her way through the woods. _What the HELL?_ _What did he do to her?_ She looked up and squinted at me, finally spotting me.

Then all of a sudden, her eyes lit up and she shouted out, "Edward!" slurring my name. I walked closer, but apparently too fast, because Jacob started trembling and I slowed my pace, wanting to return Danny in one piece, rather than in shreds. Still, I couldn't control my temper.

"You got her _drunk_?!" I snarled.

"Don't blame me! _I_ didn't get her drunk. She snuck into the bar herself! I told her to wait there for me while I got the car and by the time I got back, she was gone. I followed her scent right to the door of the club…" He didn't have to say anymore. I could see it in his mind and I was beyond angry now. If it weren't for Danny being so close, it would've been a showdown right then and there.

"You left her _alone_. At the _bank?!_ Do you even have the sense of a _peanut_?!"

"She _wanted _to go there. Said she could handle it."

"Well, obviously she couldn't." We glared at each other, while Danny mumbled incoherently off to the side.

"Why are you walking home? Where's your car?"

"It broke down." _Of course._

"I'll take her home from here." He yanked her away from me.

"No. I'll do it."

"I didn't know that Billy's house had a doctor who could detox her before the massive hangover she'll have in the morning."

"So? I'll take her to the hospital."

"And get her in trouble with Charlie and get sent home?"

"Better than hanging out with a bunch of leeches," the dog muttered. But I knew he could see the logic in my reasoning. He rudely pushed her toward me. _You win, again_, he thought. I smiled.

Then… "Bella! Oh, Bella, I've missed you!" Danny broke out of my grasp and stumbled to a tree and hugged it. I looked at her, shocked.

"She's been like that the whole way." I couldn't speak. My heart was breaking. Then, I finally regained my powers of speech.

"Goodbye Jacob," I said brusquely. His face hardened and his hands clenched into fists, but after a second or two, he was gone, leaving Danny and I alone in the woods. I sighed and walked over to her. She was still clinging to the tree and mumbling words that I couldn't quite catch to it.

"Danny?" No answer…

"Danny?" I gently touched her shoulder. She finally looked up.

"Edward! Look, it's Bella! She's here, after all! Why aren't you saying hi?" She hiccupped. I looked at her sadly.

"Danny, that's just a tree."

"No, it's not. It's Bella! Can't you see?" _Hiccup_.

"Danny, Bella's not here. You're drunk. You're seeing things." She got mad.

"My sight is perfectly fine, thank you. _Hiccup_. Maybe you should have YOURS checked. It's Bella! _Hiccup_." At least she hadn't lost any of her sass…

"No, Danny. Bella's not here." Her face fell as she looked back at the tree. Tears started coming to her eyes. Oh no…

"No… Of course not. _Hiccup_. Because Bella's de – d- d- dead. _Hiccup_." Here, she started crying. I wish I'd just kept my mouth shut. She wobbled and fell against me, clutching my shirt as if to a life preserver, soaking it with her tears. I moved to push her away, knowing this was wrong, but deciding (or convincing myself) that it would just make things worse, I gave in and wrapped my arms around her, stroking her long wavy hair.

"Shh… it'll be okay, Danny. I promise." She looked up at me, her green eyes taking my breath away.

"Do you?" She whispered.

"I do." She continued to stare at me, paralyzing me with those emerald eyes.

"How do you know? _Hiccup_."

"I just do." Her face was so close to mine. Much too close. I could see every single eyelash on her eyelid and the teardrops that clung to them. I knew I should move away, but I couldn't. I didn't move a muscle. Then, suddenly, she giggled. I looked at her, confused. The expression on my face made her laugh even more and she fairly burst with laughter. She was _so_ drunk. I sighed.

"You're so funny, Edward."

"Am I?"

"Yup. _Hiccup_." She started walking, but then stumbled and almost fell into a face plant before I caught her.

"Oopsie-daisy." She giggled. I shook my head and wrapped an arm around her, supporting her as we walked back home. Her smell was coming off of her in torrents, but I was used to it now and besides, I had just hunted, so I was okay. Still, I tried to maintain as less contact as possible. She had become a bit silent now, occasionally mumbling some nonsense word now and then, but all of a sudden, she turned around and faced me, a mischievous look on her face.

"What?"

"You know, there's something I've always wanted to do."

"Danny, we should really get you home."

"This will (_Hiccup_) only take a second," she pouted and I sighed. I couldn't say no to her.

"Okay, what is it?"

"I don't want to say it out loud."

"What, so all the people around us won't be able to hear?" I said sarcastically, glancing pointedly at the abandoned woods around us.

"Yeah!" She replied drunkenly. There was no arguing with her when she was in this state of mind.

"Okay, so tell me."

"Come here! _Hiccup_."

"I can hear from here just fine."

"No, you can't!"

"Okay, fine," I said, and leaned forward. She leaned closer, as if to whisper in my ear, but quicker than I would've ever thought possible, before I even had time to react, she grabbed my face and smashed her lips to mine. I totally wasn't expecting this. I was stunned for about half a millisecond before I put my hands on her head to push her gently back. But instead of pushing her back, I was surprised to find myself pulling her closer to me, her body flush against mine. In that half a millisecond, I was already intoxicated by the taste of her lips. There was something sweet about it… like wild strawberries… and I could taste the alcohol she had drunk a couple of hours before. Tequila, I think… I was hooked. Her tempting scent surrounded me like a cloud, and it took all I had not to take her then and there.

Then she began to moan, sighing into my mouth, and I regained my mind. I was horrified. I couldn't believe myself, that I had let this go this far. What kind of a monster was I?!? My fiancée had just died and here I was _kissing_ the _maid of honor_. Disgusted with myself, I gathered the will and pushed her back. She stumbled a little, but regained her balance. She swayed, her eyes still half closed, a shadow of a smile on her face.

"Wow…" she breathed, drawing out the word, making it almost three syllables. This sent me into another round of preoccupations. _Had she really wanted to do that forever? Or was it just the alcohol speaking? Is it possible that she might… like me? _Then I shook myself out of it. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying not to get caught up again in her angelic face. _Focus, Edward, FOCUS!!! You cannot be with her. You cannot be with anyone, not right now. And besides you don't want another Bella. There cannot be another Bella._

I opened my eyes to see Danny still swaying, a half smile on her lips. Then, the smile faded and a strange look replaced it. What is she…?

Then, she doubled over and heaved a tide of vomit onto the forest floor. She groaned, and almost fell face first into the sludge, but I caught her, yet again, and dragged her over by a tree. She heaved again, and more sludge came gushing out of her. _How can so much stuff be in her? She hadn't been eating much…_I pulled her hair back and held it out of her way as she continued to puke her guts out. Finally, finally, when I was half out of my mind with worry that she was going to puke all her insides out, she heaved and nothing came out. I sighed with relief.

"Edward…" was her last word, before she swayed and completely conked out in my arms. I stared out the supernatural being I was cradling. Because that's how she seemed that is… Even after puking out what seemed like more than she ate in a week, she was still supernaturally beautiful… I shook my head, clearing my mind of these traitor thoughts and stood up, carrying her as I continued my route back home.

The lights of the house neared and I bounded up the steps. I opened the door and everyone immediately rushed to me, alarmed at Danny's unconscious state in my arms.

"What happened?" Carlisle demanded.

"She's drunk," I replied tersely, before handing her off to Carlisle and dashing off, hoping Alice wouldn't follow me. I needed to think, to bash my head against a rock, _something_, so I could lessen some of the guilt that was eating away at me right now…

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	19. Chapter 19 Pulled Under

_I just wanna scream and lose control  
Throw my hands up and let it go  
Forget about everything and run away, yeah  
I just wanna fall and lose myself  
Laughing so hard it hurts like hell  
Forget about everything and run away, yeah_

"Runaway"

Avril Lavigne

DPOV

There was a dull pounding in my ears. I didn't like it. It felt as if someone were beating my head with a pillow. Full of bricks. I groaned and opened my eyes. Big mistake. It was way too bright and the light pierced me like needles stabbing into my eyes. I squeezed my eyes shut.

_What happened? The last thing I remember was seeing Jacob in front of me at the bar… I must have passed out. So… where am I now?_ I opened my eyes tentatively and looked around, I was back at the guest room at the Cullens' house. _Maybe it was all I dream…_ But no… the massive hangover I had proved the fact that it was definitely not a dream. So who had brought me back here? Jacob? And then, a thought jumped out at me… Alice's Porsche.

_Oh fuck…_ I thought as I jumped up out of bed. Again, not the brightest decision… The room spun and I gripped the post at the head of the bed. Ugh... When the room straightened up, I hurried towards the door, ignoring the pounding in my head, planning on how I was gonna get the car back when a flash of canary yellow caught my eye. I flew to the window and almost collapsed in relief. There was the car, with not one scratch on it.

I sighed and fell back into bed, pressing the heels of my hands into my eyes. I retraced the events of last night, forcing myself to try to remember what had happened. I had gone to Jacob's house, and we had driven to Port Angeles… to the bank. I couldn't stand the pain anymore and then… I went to the bar, where I got obscenely drunk and then Jacob came in… and… what? I couldn't remember much after that. All I could remember was being shoved into a car and then arms supporting me as I half-stumbled and half-walked. There wasn't much besides that. Jacob must've driven me back here and helped me into the house. That made sense.

Then something else occurred to me… They all probably knew I was drunk, that was obvious. The question was, did they tell Charlie, who would tell my mom? This would be my ticket for departure if she knew, which she probably did. Great. I lay on the bed, not wanting to move, but as the poisonous tendrils of loss started choking me up again, I knew I had to do something. I couldn't lie around all day, waiting for my mom's call demanding that I go home immediately. I had to get _out_. But how…? Alice would see and everyone else would hear me leave. But if Alice weren't here…

I got up and crept slowly towards the door, cracking it open and slipping through. I listened, I couldn't hear Alice at all. But I could hear Jasper and Emmett playing Super Mario Kart. Were these rooms sound-proof? I couldn't believe I didn't hear it before. The loud sounds felt like they were going to bust my head right open, it hurt so much. I stifled back a whimper as I investigated. Then, they answered all my questions…

"Man… I wanted to go hunt first," Emmett whined.

"You can't," Jasper answered calmly, eyes never leaving the screen as he dodged a banana peel, "you know we have to watch Danny."

"I know! But no one's here but us. That's so not fair. Why does everyone else get to go hunt and not us?"

"Because, we went hunting first last time," Jasper replied again, sounding rather irritated now, "Look, I'm beating you." That shut Emmett up, and he growled and concentrated on the game again. That was all I needed to know. Emmett and Jasper were so concentrated on the video game, that they wouldn't notice at all if I left. Perfect. Now, it was just the subject of how… I couldn't just walk out the door. Preoccupied or not, they would see me. The only way was… I looked at the window and gulped. _Well, there's no other way for it…_I didn't suppose they had a fire ladder lying around somewhere. If they wanted to escape, they could just jump. So, I took the next best thing.

I pulled the sheets off of the bed and started tying knots, connecting them to make one long rope. Then, I tied it to the bed post that was right beside the window and pulled on it, to make sure it was secure. I opened the window and looked down at the ground, shuddering at the height. _Well, here we go…_ I quickly got dressed into jeans and a tee shirt and I tossed the makeshift rope down and gripped it, backing myself out of the conveniently large window. I braced my feet against the side of the house and, hands clenching the rope, I walked my way slowly down the side of the house. I was careful not to look down. Then suddenly, my foot slipped on the ledge of the window below, and, barely suppressing a shriek, I landed on my back in the grass, knocking the air out of me with a soft _oof_.

Eyes tearing from the fall, I lay very still, half-expecting Jasper and Emmett to appear out of nowhere and demand what I was doing. But, they never came. I could still hear the video game going on inside the house and Emmet and Jasper arguing over yet another inane bet. I sighed with relief, and rolled over, checking to make sure that nothing was broken. _Well,_ I thought wryly, _at least it wasn't that bad of a fall._ I got up, dusting myself off, and walked over to Alice's Porsche, wondering who had brought it back. Maybe Jacob… But no, there was a bright yellow sticky note on the windshield …

_Nice car._

_-Seth_

I smiled. I had to thank him the next time I saw him, although I kind of had to wonder why Jacob didn't bring the car back. Maybe he was busy…

Then, I started walking, not really caring where I was going. I was pretty confident I wouldn't get lost, and besides, we learned enough astronomy in high school physics that I could always refer to the heavens to find my way back. _Heaven…like Bella will be guiding me from above…_but then that sharp stabbing pain came back again and I quickly erased such thoughts from my mind.

I walked farther and farther into the woods. I didn't know if one hour had passed or two. I didn't care. Eventually, I came across a clear pond that was so still that it reflected the green foliage of the giant trees towering above it. A swim didn't sound so bad, so I took off my shirt and my jeans and waded in until I was at the exact center of the pond, where I could see a sizeable expanse of cloudy sky through a rare break in the trees. I flipped over onto my back, floating… floating… floating. Time passed, the seconds turning into minutes, the minutes turning into hours. The light changed as the day progressed and eventually the woods around me grew darker, and I could hear all the little forest animals heading back into their little burrows. A tiny part of my brain noted that it was growing colder as well and that sometimes, there was the slight pitter patter of rain, but I didn't move. All I could do was concentrate on not letting the pain in my heart and the memories in my brain hammer me into a million tiny pieces. I was drifting… drifting… losing track of time, of place, and eventually… of myself as I became a part of the water, floating, swirling, uncaring, unknowing…

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EPOV

I was heading back towards the house. My time away had gotten me nowhere. I actually did bang my head against a rock, but futilely, as it was rather like banging your head into a brittle mattress. It did absolutely nothing at all for me… What did it take to get rid of all this guilt, all this turmoil that was roiling instead of me? _Maybe_, a tiny traitor voice said inside of me, _Maybe, all you have to do is be with her…_ I growled, not liking and loving that idea at the same time. Yet, my feet pushed me reluctantly even faster towards the house where she would be waiting.

But as I neared, I sensed that something was wrong. All of the lights in the house were blazing and I could hear voices, unclear at the distance I was at, but that were clearly agitated. _What's happened?_ My mind jumped to Danny. _Was she hurt? Was she sick?_ As I neared, the voices got clearer and clearer…

"How could you be so irresponsible?" Carlisle.

"You're _vampires_. How could you let one little _klutz_ of a human sneak out?!" Alice.

"You guys are idiots." That eloquently expressed statement was clearly Rose.

"We're _sor-ry_!" Emmett whined.

"We are, we didn't notice when she woke up." Jasper. They did sound truly repentant.

"That's it. No more video games for a month." Esme. Neither Emmett nor Jasper argued with her. Their quick agreement dampened my ire towards them.

"Well we clearly have to go look for her."

"Where? The slight drizzle washed away her scent. She's too far away for me to smell her from here." The idiots. What did they think Alice was for? Apparently Carlisle thought so too.

"What do you see, Alice?" She was silent for a while, and then she spoke, her voice drenched with stress and worry.

"I- I can't see anything." My breathing hitched. _What the hell did that mean?_ I wasn't willing to consider the obvious answer.

"What do you mean," Carlisle's voice was sharp, "has her future disappeared or something?"

"No," Alice replied, "I just can't _see_ her." I finally reached the house and I burst in almost ripping the door off its hinges.

"So, what," I said bitterly, "we're just going to assume she's dead and let her rot in the woods. What are we going to tell Charlie, huh? And her mom?"

"Of course we're not, Edward!" Carlisle looked shocked, "we must look for her. But first, consider what Alice said. Maybe she went to see Jacob?" We were silent. That was a certain possibility.

"But…" Rose interrupted the silence, "how would she get there. None of our cars are missing. And besides, no matter how dense Jasper and Emmett are," she glared at them, "they would've at least noticed a car pulling in or out of our driveway."

"Well, let's check just to make sure," Carlisle said. He flew upstairs to his study and returned with the pathetically thin phone book for the Forks area and found a number that he punched into the phone. _Please let it be Billy, please let it be Billy…_I prayed, as the phone rang for what seemed like an interminably long time. Knowing Jacob, he would probably hang up once he heard Carlisle's voice.

"Hello," an ancient sounding, majestic voice sounded. I sighed in relief. It was Billy.

"Hello, Billy. This is Carlisle." I could almost hear Billy stiffening on the other end. "I know I'm probably the last person you expected to hear from, but I have a very important question to ask you. Is Danny with Jacob right now?" There was silence on the other end of the line. If he had hung up, so help me God…

"No. Why do you ask? Is she okay?" My thoughts grew kinder towards Billy as I registered the genuine concern in his voice. Who wouldn't be concerned about Danny? _No, Edward, focus. You're just worried about what you would have to tell Charlie and her family…_ Still, she's not there. Where could she be?

"Oh, nothing's wrong in particular. Thanks for your help."

"Sure, doc."

"Bye." Carlisle hung up the phone, his back stiff. No one spoke. I couldn't bear it anymore.

"What are we doing standing around for, then?!" I erupted. That seemed to jolt them into action. We all decided to split up and look. Alice to the south, Jasper to the east, Carlisle to the west, Rosalie to the south east, Emmett to the south west, myself to the north, and Esme would stay home, in case Danny managed to wander her way back, something that was highly unlikely since it was dark as pitch outside for human eyes. We shot out the door, separating and searching for Danny's scent.

I raced north, paying attention to every tree, root, and rock, hoping to find some trace of her delectable scent. _Focus, Edward_, I thought to myself for the trillionth time that day. I strained myself to catch some glimpse of her thoughts, but no, she was blocking me, or… but that unmentionable thought was torture to entertain, so I ended all consideration of it. I continued to race northward. _How far had she gone?_ I hoped this wouldn't be a habit of hers, wandering around aimlessly with obviously no sense of self-preservation. I didn't think I could stand another dose of the stress the idea of her loss would give me. Then suddenly, just as I was about to head back, thinking that she couldn't possibly have travelled this far, the smell hit me like a ton of bricks, or more like a hundred thousand petals of the world's most fragrant flower thrown in my face. I skidded to a stop, staring in disbelief back at the way I'd come. _How the hell had she gone this far?_

I followed the fresh scent and came to a pond, my breath stopping as I registered the scene in front of me. There she was, floating right in the middle of the small pond, her body glowing in the luminescence of the moonlight that caressed her skin. I was so jealous of that moonlight… However, that thought flew out of my mind as the fears took me over. She was too still… too pale… She couldn't be…

Panicked, I called out, "Danny?!" She didn't answer. _Holy God, please let her be alright._ Then, my mind took in the scene more rationally. Dead people didn't float on their backs…

"Danny?" I called, still urgent despite my reasoning. The answer came, but from deep within her, as if she were at the bottom of a tomb and was calling up to me. I shuddered at the morbid imagery.

"What?" I sighed in relief. It was okay. She was fine. As the fears coiled away like smoke after a fire, I _really_ looked at her. She was so beautiful, like an angel in those paintings of old. I almost smiled as I thought of how many fingers Michelangelo or da Vinci would cut off just for a glimpse of her, for even a prayer to paint her.

My eyes grazed over her perfect body, forgetting what I had come here to do for a moment. She had stripped down and was floating in nothing but her bra and underwear. The dark black material of her undergarments made her seem even more like a creature of the woods, a water nymph maybe… I shook my head, to clear these thoughts out of my mind, disgusted with myself for goggling at her, when she was so vulnerable, not to mention my own situation and status.

"Danny," my voice came out sounding too harsh, I tried softening it, "come out of there."

"No," she said faintly.

"Come out of there right now."

"No." More stubbornly this time.

"Danny. Get your butt over here now or so help me God, I'll drag you out of the water." There was no response. I sighed. She wasn't getting out of the water. I pulled off my shirt, draping it over a tree, and waded into the water, intent on getting her out. It was a cold night tonight, and it couldn't be healthy for her to be in the water so long. _How long _had_ she been in the water?_ I thought, panicky again as I counted back the hours in my mind. But, as I neared her, all of my intentions seemed to have vanished and I could only gaze at her. The clouds had parted somewhat and the stars had come out, reflecting themselves all around Danny, embracing her as if she were somehow their star-child. I shivered a little and opened my mouth to speak, when she interrupted me.

"You know what I just don't understand?" I looked at her, forgetting what I was about to say as those green eyes hit me and almost turned me into a mute.

"What?"

"How the world could be so beautiful and so cruel at the same time…" I continued looking at her.

"I mean, look at those stars." I looked, turning onto my back to float next to her so I could see what she was trying to show me. "I don't think there's anything more beautiful in the universe… well maybe one." Here she blushed furiously, making me curious as to what that one was. I already knew what that one was to me, she was floating there right beside me, but I was wondering what it was to her. "But still, there's barely anything more beautiful in the universe, and yet…"

"And yet?"

"They come and go as all things do, sometimes ending with a violent explosion. Some of them, even now, may be becoming extinct. How could God let such a beautiful person die? She was so good, such a good beautiful person. How could this happen? What did she do to deserve this?" I had a feeling that she wasn't talking about the stars anymore. Tears were now running freely down her face, creating ripples in the water. I had an urge to pull her into my arms, to squeeze all of the sadness out of her. Angels shouldn't cry. It wasn't right. But I refrained, my conscience prickling at me like a spiny cactus.

"She didn't. She never did anything wrong," I whispered.

"Then why…?" her voice trembled. I had no answer to her question, although I wished with all my might I had. There was silence, as we continued to gaze up at the stars.

"She shouldn't have died. She shouldn't have. I wish… I wish…" she trailed off.

"What?"

"I wish… that I could've traded places with her. That that bullet would've entered me instead of her." A fury raged through me at the idea.

"Don't you ever say that again!"

"Whyever not? She had so much more to lose. She was about to get married, to the love of her life."

"And you have nothing to lose, I suppose," I said acidly.

"I had a lot less. The world would have been better off. She would've been better off. You would be better off. I-I would be better off." I stared at her, honestly believing that she had gone nuts. I couldn't imagine a world without Danny in it.

"You can't say that you don't wish it either, Edward," she said sadly, "you must miss her." I close my eyes, the fury threatening to overwhelm me. How I could ever think that!

"You don't understand, Danny."

"Regardless, you must be grieving for her."

"Yes," I replied. _But am I in the right way?_ My head hurt to think of it.

"Regardless," I spoke again, imitating her, "you shouldn't say things like that." She didn't reply. She was still blocking me from her mind, but I could feel her disbelief. We floated and then, my hand brushed against hers. A shock ran through me at her touch, but it wasn't that that startled me. It was the _coldness_ of her hand. Nothing felt cold to me. Alarmed, I grabbed her hand, feeling it. Yup, it felt like an ice cube. That was _not _good.

"Danny, how long have you been here?"

"Eighteen years…" Normally, I would've smiled, but I was way too out of my mind with worry now.

"No, I meant in this pond…"

"I don't know. It was light out… I suppose this morning…" _This morning???!!_ Dispensing with all propriety, I grabbed her and crushed her to me. Her whole body was cold—ice cold.

"You're getting out of the water… NOW!!!"

"No, I don't want to…" she mumbled, her voice getting fainter.

"Doesn't matter. I'm dragging you out." She tore her hand out of my grip with surprising strength.

"Dammit, Edward. Why do you always bug me so much? You always get under my skin. Why can't I get _rid_ of you?" She was ranting now, her words sticking into me like a sword. She hated me. I always knew that… but it seemed worse to hear it. But I couldn't dwell on these things now, I had to get her out of the water. Besides, it was probably better this way…

"You're coming with me, Danny." She didn't say anything. She'd gone limp and I pulled her to the side of the pond easily. I helped her out of the water and she stood up, knees wobbling. I let go of her for a second to grab my shirt and her legs buckled, almost collapsing before I raced back and caught her. She was shivering violently. I rubbed her hands between mine, hoping the friction would put some warmth back in her body.

"I hadn't noticed… it's so cold…" she said. I put my t-shirt on her.

"Danny, where are your clothes?"

"I…I don't know," she mumbled, eyes starting to close. I looked around, searching frantically for her clothes. They must be here somewhere… she couldn't have just walked here in her underwear…although in the depressed state she was in now I wouldn't have been surprised. I gave up, scooping the still violently shaking Danny into my arms. She was as cold as death… She curled up into me, burrowing her face into my chest… I watched for a minute, distracted by her proximity to me…

"Mmm… you're so warm Edward…" Crap. She thought I was _warm????_ That wasn't good. Then her eyes closed and didn't open again.

"Danny?.... Danny?!..." No response. I could hear her heartbeat, beating irregularly now, and her shallow breathing, but just barely. Frightened out of my mind, I gripped her securely to me and ran like I'd never run before.

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	20. Chapter 20 This Cannot Be Happening

**Okay, just so that you don't get confused, this is starting off from when Edward has already dragged Danny out of the pond. Oh, and Team Jacob members… I'm sorry. My only excuse is that he is deranged and out of his mind with grief. People do crazy things when they experience huge loss. Also, this chapter may contain some pretty graphic and violent lemons, so if you don't want to read, I'll put a note when it starts and I'll leave a summary of what you missed at the end of the chapter.**

**Love,**

**-starrytwilightgirl**

DPOV

Weird. Edward was so warm. He shouldn't be; he was a vampire after all. But, although I knew I shouldn't, although I knew I should've jumped out of his arms like they were curling irons, I just couldn't and my body curled itself closer to the comforting warmth.

"Mmm… Edward, you're so warm." I whispered as I drifted off into the darkness…

I was drowning, lost in the dark woods of despair. I knew I should be getting back, I could hear someone calling my name, but I couldn't find what I had lost… a sister, a friend… I didn't want to leave without her… but it was so cold and so dark…. All around me was blackness… blackness… blackness… and nothingness. A cold wintry breeze froze me to a statue and I couldn't move. I tried to scream, but nothing would come out. I was mute, deaf, and blind, all at the same time. So I did what any sane person would do. I forgot. I let the despair overwhelm me and obliterate me, so now… I was a nothingness too. It seemed like it was that way for a long time, years into decades into centuries into millennia into eons. I wondered if this blackness would ever let up and then I heard a voice, a beautiful voice that I would've answered to even if I were dead, call me, touching me like a breath of warm air.

"Danny… wake up." I wanted to. I wanted to get out of this dark corner I was stuck in. But I couldn't move. The voice called more urgently. I struggled against my shield, but the cold darkness, angry at my defiance, pressed me down, chilling me still farther. The voice kept calling and I, I kept struggling. Then, victory! I managed to wiggle a little. I wanted to get out, to feel the warmth that came with that voice.

"Carlisle! Look! She's moving… Here, loosen the blankets!" I stopped struggling, confused… the blankets? What are they talking about? But slowly, slowly, the darkness and the ropes that had tied me to my stake were loosened and slowly… slowly… there was light… and warmth… and a pair of anxious golden eyes staring into mine.

My eyes focused and I looked around. I was in the Cullen's living room, lying on their sofa, and the whole family was standing around in a circle peering worriedly at me. The room was so warm, and my arms felt warm too, and my head felt like it was burning, and yet… I was still so cold. And then I knew… the coldness was inside me, chilling me from the inside out. I shivered.

"Oh, no. You shouldn't have loosened those blankets on her, Alice. See, she's still cold. Quick, go get some more." Esme this time. Someone, I couldn't see who, piled two more layers of thick comforters on top of me. I stared, not quite finding my voice yet.

"Danny? Are you still cold?" I wanted to speak, to answer Carlisle, Carlisle, whose voice was tainted with worry, but for some reason, I couldn't find my voice.

"Oh my god! Is she retarded now?!" Emmett. I glared at him, suddenly finding my voice through my anger.

"No, I'm not Emmett. I'd be smarter than you even if I were dead." All six of the Cullens laughed, partly through relief and partly through amusement at the pouting Emmett, the only one not laughing, only because he knew it was probably true.

"Are you still cold, Danny?" _Yes_, I thought, _inside_.

"No, I'm fine Carlisle," I paused, "what happened?"

"You got hypothermia. In fact, you have a fever right now, which is to be expected. But it's good that you don't feel cold anymore. That means you're getting better." He frowned. Here it was; he was going to tell me off for going off without telling anyone. I sighed.

"Go ahead, Carlisle. Tell me how stupid I am. Yell at me. I know." His eyes widened. Edward growled for some reason. I looked. Was Emmett doing something weird again to annoy him?

"I'm not going to yell at you Danny. If it was anyone's fault, it was Emmett and Jasper. They should have been watching you." _Protecting you from yourself_, I could hear him add. I sighed. I couldn't agree more.

"I'm sorry. I've caused you so much trouble. I promise this won't happen again." _I'll be protecting myself from now on._

"No trouble, Danny." Carlisle reassured me. I turned to Edward.

"And thank you for finding me." He murmured something and then turned away. My heart sank a little. Was I really that repulsive? Then, a wonderful smell drifted in from the kitchen. I groaned and my stomach rumbled in agreement. Blueberry pancakes with hand whipped cream and maple syrup… Everyone laughed at the sound.

"I knew you must be hungry when you woke up, so I made your favorite," said Esme. _How did she know it was my favorite?_

"How did you know it was my favorite?" Esme smiled secretively.

"A little birdie told me." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Edward look away guiltily. I frowned. I wonder what's hounding him? Maybe he regretted saving me. Maybe having me around was just another painful reminder of his dead fiancée. This made me sad, so I brushed the thought away and turned to Esme.

"Thanks, Esme. I _am_ famished." I threw the covers back to get up, and at the same time that everyone yelled, "Wait Danny!" I noticed that I only had on my bra and panties and with a shriek, I clutched the covers to myself again.

"I'm sorry Danny," Alice said, "we wanted to dress you, but Esme wouldn't let us move you until you've woken up. Complications of hypothermia, you know." I could only nod mutely as the blood rushed to my face. So he had brought me home like this… no wonder he was repulsed. He probably thought that I was some wanton slut…

"Can I have my clothes now?"

"Yeah, here you go." And a pair of warm sweats landed in my lap.

"Thanks," I muttered. And I was just about to put them on when I noticed everyone still in the room. I stared at them until Esme finally came to.

"Everyone, MOVE!" she ordered. The room cleared. I sighed.

"Thanks, Esme."

"No problem. You'd think that I'd taught them no manners for the past decades. Standing there like bumps on a log when a woman is trying to dress… Really." I smiled and pulled on the clothes I was given. Then I stood up, and walked towards the kitchen. I wobbled and almost landed flat on my butt as my legs were still a bit weak and Esme and Alice rushed forward to help me. I waved them off. I hated feeling weak.

"No, no, I'm fine." And they let go of me, making sure that I could stand on my own and I carefully walked my way to the kitchen where a delicious pile of blue spotted pancakes were waiting for me. My mouth watered as I lurched over and plopped down into the chair. I stuck my face into the steam that was rising up from the stack and took a huge breath.

"Mmm, Esme, this smells so good." She beamed and thanked me as I grabbed a fork and dug in. It tasted even better as I more inhaled rather than swallowed the food. I kept eating until I noticed a silence behind me that was soon broken by a faint, familiar chuckle. I stopped and looked behind me. The whole family was congregated there, watching me. Rosalie with a disgusted expression on her face, Esme with a pleased one on hers, Jasper with a speculative one on his, Alice, Carlisle, and Edward with an amused one, and Emmett with a frightened one. I swallowed.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing, except for the fact than watching you devour those pancakes was scarier than any vampire attack I've ever seen," Emmett remarked. I looked down at my syrupy hands and felt the syrup dripping down my chin. Oops. I blushed.

"Sorry. Guess I forgot my table manners. These pancakes are really good though, Esme. The best I've ever tasted, besides the ones that Bell--" Here I broke off, the old pain returning to me. Their smiles faded as well. I cleared my throat, determined not to depress everyone around me as well. I forced a smile onto my face.

"Well, these are really good, Esme."

"Danny, if you ever need someone to talk to, please…" I broke her off.

"No, really. I can get through this on my own." She looked at me doubtfully. I quickly finished off my pancakes and wiped off my mouth, taking the dishes to the sink and quickly giving them a wash. I stacked them into the cabinets, all the while feeling seven sets of eyes on me. I turned around to them.

"I'm fine, really," I said again.

"Er—Danny, you're going to need to call Charlie. Your flight's leaving the day after tomorrow." Carlisle said. I stared at him. I wasn't surprised that I was going home. Just surprised that they had just called him. I was sure that after the drinking episode…

"I'm sorry, but we had to tell them, you were sick…" Carlisle pleaded. Alice nodded fervently. I was sick of myself. Here I was, misbehaving and they were feeling bad that they _told_ on me, when they should have more than a day ago? I quickly reassured them.

"No, no. It's fine. Thank you. I'm ready to leave. I've been more trouble them I'm worth." I smiled at them and they didn't look convinced.

"Come take your medicine," Carlisle said. And that was that.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Two days later…_

The wind rustled through my hair as I drove down the winding lane to La Push. I was leaving tonight, and I needed to tell someone goodbye.

I was glad that my fever had faded so quickly. Otherwise, there was no way that Alice or Edward was going to let me go see Jacob. It had taken hours of badgering for me to convince them. If Carlisle or Esme were here, they would've let me go. But no, they were at a conference in Maine; Carlisle at a medical conference and Esme at an interior design's. Rosalie and Emmett were, um, off on, uh, _vacation._ I tried not to think about it, so I concentrated on my frustration at Edward and Alice. First it was Edward who wouldn't budge, and then Alice followed suit. I wondered why Edward wouldn't let me go. It was probably that stupid enmity he had with Jacob. I wondered why they hated each other so much…

Bella's monster of a truck rumbled into Jacob's driveway and I turned off the ignition, composing myself, which wasn't easy considering where I was. Alice had offered to lend another car to me, but I didn't want a repeat of the Porsche episode. The Cullens loved their cars. So, I just gritted my teeth and took Bella's. I breathed deeply to try to calm myself, but it didn't work, as Bella's scent still lingered in the driver's seat. I groaned and turned to thoughts of what I had to do to distract myself.

I wasn't sure whether I wanted to continue the relationship with Jacob. I liked him, but I wasn't sure if it could ever be anymore more than friendship, especially now that it would be going long distance. Besides, someone else had my heart… _No, he doesn't. No one has your heart. It is yours to give as you like. Besides, it's the last thing that Bella ever asked of you…_Decision made, I got out of the car, clutching the locket around my neck, and walked purposefully to the front door.

I knocked, but there was no answer. I frowned, his car was in the garage… I knocked again.

"Jacob?" I called. No answer. _Hmm…_I thought. I stepped back and looked at the house. There was a slight silhouette against the drapes in a room. Someone was home alright…

"JACOB!" I pounded on the door. What was he doing? Then, I tried the door and amazingly, it opened. I stepped inside, closing the door behind me. I wandered in.

"Jacob?" Still no answer… I walked into each room until I reached the last one and opened the door. It was a mess in there, like a tornado had ripped through the room. My eyes widened as I took in the stench and the green beer bottles littered around the place. Jacob was sitting right in the middle of all the detritus, his back to me. I approached him.

"Jacob?" He still didn't answer me. Worried now, I stepped closer and stopped as I looked at what he was holding in his hands. It was a picture… of him and Bella. She looked so bad… it must have been during that period when Charlie said she was super-depressed. She looked like a zombie. Yet, her facial expression was one of happiness as she stood next to Jacob, who was equally as happy in the picture, his arm draped around hers. I studied Jacob as he looked at the picture. The expression on his face was strangely familiar…

And then, it hit me like a cement truck barreling down the highway. Of course. I had been so stupid. He had been… and still was… in love with her. That look on his face, the look of longing, of unrequited love, was one I had seen many times in the mirror. He was in love with Bella.

That was why he and Edward hated each other. That was why Bella asked me to go out with him. That was why he wouldn't go to her wedding, or her funeral. That was why he seemed to be looking for someone else everytime he looked at me. That was why he had been through a lot lately. He loved her, and she was getting married to someone else.

I supposed I should have been mad, since this was parallel to cheating, but I really wasn't. I couldn't be. How could I, when I was doing to exact same thing to Jacob, when I knew exactly how he felt? I had used him to silence my own demons as well; I had frequently looked for another in his face; I also loved someone who could never love me back.

I felt a profound wave of pity for the boy sitting in front of me, and understanding. I also felt really bad, remembering all those times that I had kissed him, trying not to think about who I really wanted to kiss. I probably shouldn't have been so enthusiastic. At that moment, I knew what I had to do. We couldn't continue this relationship anymore. It wasn't healthy, not for him, not for me. I just wished that I had more time, so that he could finish mourning for Bella before I broke up with him. Or, maybe it was better to deliver the bad news all at one, instead of letting him get up and then knocking him back down again. Either way, I had to do it now. I sighed and touched him gently on the shoulder.

"Jacob." He jumped at my touch and looked up at me with bloodshot eyes that about broke my heart. Someone so young shouldn't have to go through this… I looked at him sadly. He stared at me for a minute, not recognizing me, and then he got his mind back and he looked from me to the picture in his hand and then back at me, comprehending the understanding in my eyes. He jumped up so quickly that it seemed almost superhuman, hiding the picture behind his back with a guilty expression, like someone who was caught doing something he shouldn't.

"Danny…" he began.

"No, don't hide it. I understand. Really. I'm not mad, not at all." He glanced at me doubtfully. There was an awkward silence, while I tried to get my bearings. My gaze landed on the beer bottles strewn about the room.

"You know Jacob," I started disapprovingly, grasping at something to say, "binge drinking is _so _not good for you." He snorted.

"You're one to talk. Remember last time, when we went to Port Angeles? Who was the binge drinker then, huh?" I remembered.

"Oh, right. Listen, I'm really sorry about that. I lost control and I was kind of out of it. I didn't get you into too much trouble did I?" I asked anxiously.

"No, no. Not too much." He murmured.

"Speaking of which, where's Seth?"

"He's gone to the Port Angeles boardwalk with Embry and Quil."

"Oh, that's too bad, because I wanted to thank him for returning Alice's Porsche for me in one piece. Could you do that for me when you see him? I could never forgive myself if anything happened to it. It's Alice's baby you know." He scowled at something, and I glanced at him curiously, but he didn't explain, so I didn't push him.

"Although I was wondering why you didn't return it… I suppose you were busy, right?" I looked at him.

"Yeah, sure, busy." He avoided my gaze. Well, okay.

"Anyways, thanks for taking me home in my… state, Jacob." His head snapped up and he looked at me, confused.

"What do you mean? I didn't take you home…" My mind whirled. I was sure I remembered being stuffed into his car…

"You didn't? Well then, who did?"

"Well, I drove you halfway home, but then my car broke down, and I couldn't leave you alone in the car by yourself, so we started back on foot. But then the blood- I mean, _Edward_," he said the name like it was some disgusting incurable African disease, "came along and said it would be better for him to take you to Carlisle, and against my better judgment, I let him." I stared at Jacob, not fully comprehending what was coming out of his mouth. _Edward_ took me home?!? Then, my memories started coming back, the vomiting, the giggling, the hiccups, and… the kiss… Oh god, no wonder he was so repulsed by me two mornings ago; I had freaking attacked him. The blood rushed to my face as I grew more and more mortified by the second.

"Danny," Jacob peered at me, seeing that I hadn't moved for a minute, "are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I just remembered that I have to apologize to someone is all." That is, if I don't melt into a puddle of humiliation before I do so. I cleared my throat and took deep breaths, willing the red in my cheeks to settle down and after a while, they did. I reminded myself what I had to come here for.

"Listen, Jacob. I need to talk to you. It's really important." He frowned at me, clearly wondering what I needed to talk about.

"Okay, well… have a seat." I looked at the narrow bed. There were clothes, dirty socks and beer bottles strewn all across it, covering it so that I wondered where Jacob had slept. There was barely any room for _me_ to sit down, never mind someone like Jacob lying down on it. Jacob noticed what I was looking at.

"Oh, sorry. On second thought, why don't we take a walk by the beach."

"No, no, that's fine," I quickly said, not wanting to insult or embarrass him, he was going to be insulted soon enough, "this is fine. Let me just move some of this stuff…"

"Don't be silly," Jacob snapped. I stopped and stared at him. He'd never talked to me this way. He took in my expression and his face softened.

"I'm sorry, Danny. Please don't take it personally. I- I haven't gotten a lot of sleep lately and I'm not really in the right frame of mind." He smiled ruefully. I smiled tentatively back.

"Sure, let's go to the beach." And I followed him out the door. We drove down to the beach in his Rabbit, neither of us wanting to ride in the rusty red truck, and we got out, walking alongside the tumbling waves in silence. I had abandoned my shoes by the car and was letting the sand between my toes and the cool waves brushing against my feet to comfort me and steel me for what I had to do. And because I was such a chicken, we had been walking for quite a while before I finally spoke.

"Jacob." No answer. It was clear he was immersed in his own thoughts.

"Jacob!" His head snapped up.

"Huh?"

"About what I was saying earlier…"

"Oh, right." There was a pause. He waited expectantly. I took a deep breath.

"I'm leaving tonight. I'm going back east."

"I know. Billy told me."

"Right… well, in the time period that I had since I knew about the flight, I've been doing some thinking… about us…" I felt him stiffen, seeing where this could be going. So, I barreled right on, knowing that if I stopped now, I'd never be able to get started again.

"And, I'm thinking that we should call it quits. I'm sorry. I really like you Jacob, but I don't think this is a very healthy relationship for either of us." I glanced up to check his expression, but to my surprise, he wasn't by my side anymore. He was standing a ways back. I hadn't noticed that he had stopped walking. I cringed as I took in his expression of hurt, betrayal, confusion, horror, and… anger. My heart deflated. I didn't want him to be angry with me, although I supposed that that was inevitable with what I was doing now. I walked back to him. He was strangely trembling. I frowned, it wasn't that cold outside.

"Jacob…"

"How can you do this to me?" His voice was blistering. I took a step back as it scorched me.

"I'm sorry, Jacob, but you have to understand," I pleaded, "I'm not right for you. In fact, I don't think I'm right for anyone. I'll only hurt you."

"You're hurting me right now." That was what I was afraid of.

"No. Your love for Bella is hurting you." He opened his mouth to argue. I interrupted, "Again, I'm not mad at you Jacob. I understand. But _you_ have to understand that it isn't a healthy relationship when someone's heart is not in it. I'll never BE Bella, Jake. I can try, but I'll never be enough for you. You'll keep trying to find her in me, but you'll never be satisfied. And eventually, this is going to destroy you, and me, and us, so that if we wanted to, we could never even be friends. And I'm not willing to risk that, Jacob." He stared at me. Then, something dawned on his face. I hoped it was understanding, but no… it was something darker.

"I understand." I sighed in relief.

"I understand only too well. It's Edward isn't it?" My head snapped up.

"What?!" I exclaimed incredulously.

"You're in love with Edward too, aren't you," he laughed bitterly, not the Jacob I knew anymore, but someone who was filled with anger and hate, "I should have known. Another fight lost, it seems." I stared at him. His assumption was completely unfounded, but hit too close to the mark for comfort. I wasn't about to admit it to him though. I would argue forever to convince him otherwise, even if I had to convince him of a lie. He didn't need this too.

"No! How can you think that?!"

"How can I not? You, Bella. Tell me, does Edward have Cupid's arrows hidden in the back of his closet or is he just naturally charismatic?" he spat out, his voice dripping with poisonous sarcasm. I stared at him defiantly.

"I'm _not_ in love with Edward Cullen."

"Then why are you breaking up with me?"

"I just told you. It's not—"

"Healthy? No, what's not healthy is hanging out with a bunch of bloodsuckers." I gasped. _How did he know?_ _Bella never told me he knew._ I got up close to his face, so he couldn't hide his expression from me.

"What did you say?" I choked out. He looked aggravated, as if he let something slip that he shouldn't have.

"Nothing."

"You said bloodsuckers."

"You see, you are in love with him. Otherwise, why would you be defending them?" I needed to tread carefully. I didn't want to reveal what the Cullens were to him before finding out what he truly meant by _bloodsuckers_. It might just have been nonsense, although that probably wasn't very likely.

"No, tell me what you mean."

"I meant nothing. Like how apparently this relationship meant to you." I stared fiercely into his eyes, searching for something that would give away a lie, but found nothing. I let it go, still unsettled, but concentrated on his last remark.

"You mean a lot to me Jacob. It's killing me right now to do this, but I have to."

"Then don't leave." I looked at him sadly.

"I have to. It's what's best."

"No! It's not!"

"You have to believe me Jacob. I'm sorry." I started walking back. I felt horrible, but this was the way it had to be. Suddenly, I felt a sharp yank on my arm pulling me back and I found myself pressed against Jacob.

"I'm not losing you, too," he said fiercely, and planted his lips firmly on mine. At first, I allowed this, hoping that maybe this kiss would get all his hurt, all his grief out of his system and that he would finally, with a clear heart, let me go. But then, he started getting a bit too loose with his hands, and I pushed away.

"Jacob," I said, "please. We can't do this. Don't ruin our friendship too."

"No. You're either _with _me. Or without me. I've tried that before and I can't do that anymore." I looked at him sadly.

"Are those the only choices I have? To either be with you, or walk away from you forever?"

"Yes." I steeled myself for what I was about to say.

"Then I choose the latter." This was the only way. The only way to protect him. I would give up my friendship with him to protect him, if those were the only choices he would give me.

"No," he said firmly, angrily, not giving me any choice, "you're mine. I'll _make_ you mine." **(A/N: Okay, the queasy hearted might want to stop reading now. I'll give a summary at the end.)** His lips clamped back onto mine. This kiss now was different. It was more forceful, more hateful, and… it _hurt_. I tried to push him away, but he was too strong for me now. His hands started to roam up my shirt, brushing across my bra and my eyes widened, aware of what he was starting to do. I struggled more frantically. Finally, I was able to free my mouth and I screamed at him.

"What the hell, Jacob. I said, NO!"

"And I said, I'm making you mine." I stared at his face, truly frightened now. This wasn't Jacob. This was some monster, created by sadness and rage and pain, all of the diseases laid on humankind when Pandora first opened that box out of curiosity. Looking into his black, depthless eyes, I knew he wouldn't stop until he got what he wanted. He tried to grab me again, but I jumped away, running now, cursing myself for taking so long to break the news. The car was so far away, I couldn't see it. I kept running, hearing footsteps behind me.

Then, someone grabbed me low and with a scream, I fell down into the sand, knocking my head against a boulder nearby. A flash of pain exploded on the side of my head and dazed, I raised my hand to it, pulling it away sticky with blood. I stared at the blood, surprised, for a while, before I got my senses back. I tried to get back onto my feet, grabbing hold of the rock to do so, but it was slanted, and almost completely flat on my side, and I couldn't grab hold of the ledge. I tried to crawl back up, but Jacob had ahold of my legs, and I couldn't budge. I kicked out at him.

"Let go! Jacob, please…" I was sobbing now, pleading with him not to do this to me, but he seemed not to hear. I flipped onto my back, to hit him, to scratch him, to do anything so that I could to get away. But it was no use. He had me pinned in less than a second and I felt as helpless as a bug under a microscope. All I could do as he tore my shirt away from me was struggle and scream, hoping that someone would hear me and come pull this person who looked like Jacob, but who wasn't Jacob, off of me.

He tried to recapture my lips again, but I turned my head away from him, shaking it from side to side. But he was too strong for me. He grabbed my chin, his fingers digging painfully into my flesh and kissed me again, his tongue plundering my mouth, stabbing into it like a sword to my heart. My screams were muffled by his mouth. At the same time, he used his other hand to rip away my bra and squeeze my right breast, so that I thought he would almost rip it off. The tears streaming from my eyes were not just of pain anymore, but of humiliation. _No, this cannot be happening. This must be a nightmare. _But no, this was no nightmare. This was really happening. My hands now freed, I futilely beat against his broad shoulders, trying to get a small break, any break, where I could escape. But none came.

His mouth left mine now, roaming down my body, his hot breath burning me where it went. So, I kept screaming, hoping, praying, that someone would come and find me. Then, I felt my jeans being ripped from me as well and that was it. I snapped. I screamed even louder, even more frantic now, desperate to get away. I hit him, kicked, pleaded, but nothing worked as he once again, pinned my arms above me and struggled out of his own pants. I felt a tug on my panties and I tried for one last chance for mercy. Jacob was trembling, more violently now, and I was hoping it was indecision at what he was about to do.

"Please, Jacob, please. This isn't you. You don't want to do this. Don't do this to me," I sobbed. He slapped me and I gasped, my head snapping to the side, stunned. Jacob was gone. I couldn't believe that this was the Jacob I had known.

"Shut up," he snarled, and with a heave, he ripped his way into my core, taking the last thing I had—my virginity. I screamed as the pain radiated up my body, but he didn't stop there. He pumped in and out of me mercilessly as I lay there, limp under his weight. It was over now. There was no more reason to fight. The fight was lost. I could only hope that Jacob would kill me when he was done. I didn't want to deal with this. The world dimmed around me as the pain started to overtake me. And then, suddenly, there was an explosion and a slashing pain ripped across my entire body, striking across my face, my chest, my thighs and finally, finally, the darkness overtook me and I knew no more.

**Augh… sorry again Jacob fans, but let me explain. Jacob is, for lack of a better word, deranged. He just lost the love of his life to a far more permanent thing than marriage and now, he was losing Danny, too. He felt that he was losing everything and he was desperate to claim something of his own. Thus, he claimed Danny as his own, whether she wanted it or not. And I suppose if you think about it, this is a more extreme (far far far more extreme) version of when he kissed Bella in New Moon. She didn't want it, he knew she didn't want it, and yet, he forced himself upon her anyway. No matter how you look at it, this **_**is**_** sexual assault. He loved her, but still… Just keep in mind that, as Danny said, this isn't really Jacob, which doesn't excuse him for what he did, but it does lend at least a little bit of reason for this unreasonable action. Anyways, here is the summary for those of you who didn't want to read:**

**Danny tries to run, but Jacob catches her and rapes her, despite her protests. As the rape nears completion, she feels an explosion and a sharp pain raking across her entire body and she finally passes out.**

**Yeah, sorry… not too great at summaries, but this is pretty much what happened. Oh and just a disclaimer:**

**I don't advocate rape AT ALL!**

**Guys: when a girl says no, she means NO!  
And girls: if a guy seems abusive or overdominating, GET OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP. And, if someone ever violates you, don't not do anything about it. Seek action. Call a hotline. Do SOMETHING.**

**So on a lighter note…**

**Reviewreviewreview! You can't deny you have a lot to say about this… **

**-starrytwilightgirl**


	21. Chapter 21 Decision Point

EPOV

I couldn't believe I'd let her go. I mean, how _stupid_ was I? Did I really believe that she wasn't going to get hurt? I mean, first, she gets left behind at the funeral, then she comes home drunker than a drunkard, then she floats in a pond for five hours and gets hypothermia… why did I let her go? I remembered the huge argument we had the day before…

_"You are being way unreasonable, Edward!" she'd screamed, "Nothing's going to happen to me, I promise. Do you think I'm stupid or something? I can take care of myself!"_

_"Not stupid," I'd yelled back, "Just not thinking properly. If you can take care of yourself, then tell me why it is that I trekked halfway to Canada to find you floating half-frozen in a duck pond!" Her face reddened and she huffed, frustrated at not being able to convince me._

_"So what? I'm not just going to leave without telling Jacob goodbye!"_

_"Call him or something. Write him a letter." I couldn't care less about Jacob. Danny's green eyes flashed._

_"That is so _lame_, Edward, and you know it. You don't tell someone goodbye over the _phone_ or through a letter."_

_"I don't want you to get hurt, Danny."_

_"Look Edward. I really don't understand why you care whether I get hurt at all. In fact, I don't even understand why you didn't just leave me in that pond yesterday. But get this. I'm not going to get hurt. Jacob won't let that happen to me." I felt as if she'd punched me in the stomach. She thought that I would just leave her in the pond? Couldn't she tell how much I cared about her? How it absolutely killed me to see her floating as if dead in that pond? How my feelings for her left me confused and miserable every single day of my cursed existence?_

_"You don't know Jacob, Danny… he… he's…"_

_"WHAT, Edward, WHAT? He's what? You know, I've never understood this stupid enmity you have with him. Jacob is perfectly safe, thank you very much. In fact, I owe him a lot. He brought me home that night that I was drunk and I still haven't thanked him for that yet." I stopped. She didn't remember that it was, in fact, I who had brought her home. A flare of jealousy flashed inside me. _

_"Danny. I'm begging you. Please. Call him." She looked torn for a second there, but then her face grew decisive._

_"No. Look, Edward, I'm going, whether you like it or not. I'll call Jacob to have him pick me up if that's the case." My eyes hardened and I clenched my fists._

_"He wouldn't _dare_."_

_"Oh? And why not?" I couldn't tell her. _

_"You see? Look, nothing's going to happen to me, okay? I'm not going to run off. I'm going there and I'm coming straight back." I made the mistake of looking into her eyes. Those green eyes were so persuasive. I probably would've believed her if she said the world was flat. She could see me weakening, and so she continued to stare me down. _

_"And what if something DOES happen to you?"  
_

_"Well, then you can rail at me all you want."_

_"I'm not going to--"_

_"I'm going." I glared at her._

_"You're coming STRAIGHT back."_

_"Yes."_

I blindly followed Alice around the department store. Although the store in Port Angeles was pretty small in size, she'd still managed to buy enough stuff so that Jasper and I were both holding at least ten bags in each hand and balancing three shoe boxes in our arms. I sighed… more things to donate to Goodwill…

The one good thing about it was that I was now free to hide my expression from Alice as I tried not to think about Danny, and the fact that Alice's visions from that day when Danny fell off the archway had been getting stronger everyday now was not helping. I stifled back a groan as I tried, yet again, to cleanse my head and _relax…_ I had been pacing in the house all day since Danny left, worrying about what she was doing, what was happening to her. I was driving Alice and Jasper nuts. So, she finally demanded that I go to Port Angeles with her to buy more crap that she would never use.

At first, I'd refused. If anything happened to Danny, we wouldn't be close enough. But the accusatory expression on her face and the fact that Port Angeles was pretty close convinced me. _You're obsessing, Edward,_ she'd thought, _more than is appropriate_. I knew she was right. I shouldn't be worrying, shouldn't be thinking so much about Danny. I should be mourning over Bella. That should've been my main priority. But, I was ashamed to realize that I had only thought of Bella once within the last twenty-four hours. All the rest of my energy was concentrated toward Danny. I made a mental note to loosen up…

So I followed Alice around on her pointless shopping spree, trying, and failing to keep my mind off of… her. My eyes caught Jasper's and he looked at me, commiserating. _See what I have to put up with?_ he thought at me. I nodded, empathizing with him. We were both Alice's prisoners now.

Then, a wave, no, a tsunami, of dread hit me and a familiar scream sounded in my ears as if from far away, so sudden and unexpected that I jumped, adrenaline suddenly appearing in my system out of nowhere. Jasper felt my tension and looked at me, alarmed. Images began forming in my head and I knew they were Danny's thoughts, even though I was supposed to be too far away to hear them.

"_Let go! Jacob, please…"_ At first all I could see was sand. Then, the perspective changed and I could see Jacob hovering over her, bearing down on her. She was still screaming and the scene blurred as she shook her head from side to side. Then, the horizontal movement stopped as Jacob grabbed her chin and kissed her, although I wasn't sure if kissed was the right word, since that usually implies some version of love and this wasn't a loving kiss. I was frozen solid in shock and horror for a second. Then, Alice broke my thoughts.

"Edward, what's wrong?" She and Jasper were standing in front of me and as I looked at them, my brain reconnected to the rest of my body and I was unbearably, murderously angry. I dropped Alice's bags and ran back to the car. Alice and Jasper barely made it in before I gunned the engine and peeled out of the parking lot, racing to La Push.

"Edward, WHAT is going on?!" Alice shouted. I couldn't answer her. I was seeing red as the images kept on playing in my mind, getting worse and worse. I knew where this was heading and I could only hope to God that I would get there before he took her completely. I cursed and pushed the pedal all the way to the floor. The engine whined in protest. Alice said something to Jasper and a wave of calm washed over me. But I couldn't be calmed. Jasper's gift couldn't do anything against this rage; it only annoyed me.

"Stop DOING that, Jasper," I snarled, "I'm _not_ calming down!"

"Well, at least tell me WHY we're about to break the treaty?" Alice shrilled.

"Forget about the fucking treaty for a second! He's _raping_ her now, as we speak," I spat. There was a stunned silence in the backseat.

"What?" Alice gasped.

"You really want me to repeat that?" She got the point.

"How do you know?"

"I _saw_ it."

"What do you _mean _you saw it, Edward? Even I can't see the werewolves. And you're too far away to hear anything," she tried to reason with me, but her voice was edging towards panic.

"I don't know Alice, but I _saw_ it, okay? I saw it, clear as crystal, I saw it." And I trailed off as the screams died off and was replaced by a heart-breaking, hopeless sobbing. My heart sank; he'd done it. I wanted to vomit, but I managed to suppress the heaves as we flew across the treaty line. A second later, there were wolves running along beside us.

_What are you doing? You're breaking the treaty! _They were thinking. I snarled at them. If they crossed me, by God, I wouldn't hesitate to run them down.

I scrolled down the window and yelled out, "While you're worrying about your precious treaty, why don't you see what Jacob is doing, huh?" The images hit their head now too, and they whimpered in shock and agony and doubled back, letting us pass through unhindered. I screeched to a halt next to the Volkswagen Rabbit and got out, following the scent that Danny and Jacob made down the beach. In the corner of my mind, I registered Alice quickly telling Jasper to stay by the car and following me. I ran and ran, desperately scanning the beach for any signs of Danny. Finally, we came to a boulder that was near the wave line and there she was, lying there like a washed up mermaid upon the boulder, her ripped and tattered clothes lying around her. Her auburn hair was strewn across her face, and her naked body was covered by slashes and bruises. She was, to say the least, broken, lying there in her own blood, her body brutally mutilated and violated. I heard Alice gasp behind me as she caught up to me and took in the same scene.

"He… he… phased while he was still… _in_ her," she whispered in disgusted horror, taking in the slashes all over her body. I closed my eyes, willing the bad images to go away, willing myself to wake up and let this be a bad dream. But I knew it wasn't. I couldn't sleep anyway. Not that I'd ever be able to after seeing this. My anger returned to me, overpowering my horror and my hands itched to find the mutt who had done this to her and tear him from limb to limb, but my ties to her were stronger, and I couldn't leave her here, not now. I knelt next to her, taking her into my arms, and carefully, gently, brushed her hair back from her face. I could see a bruise in the shape of a large hand across her cheek. I gasped. He had _slapped_ her. My relief at the fact that she was still breathing was the only thing that kept me from hunting down Jacob right then and there.

"Danny…" I whispered, my voice cracking for the first time in a century. And then, amazingly, she opened her eyes and looked at me. My breath caught. Despite everything, despite the bruises and cuts and slashes all over her face, those eyes still captivated me and they were as beautiful as ever.

"Edward," she whispered hoarsely.

"Don't worry. I'm here now. I'll take care of you." Tears came to her eyes and she looked away.

"Please… don't look at me. You shouldn't see this." A wave of sadness swept over me. Here she was, so injured that she couldn't move and she was worrying about protecting my _innocence_?! As if I had any to begin with!

"Shh… Don't talk. You'll be fine soon. I promise."

"Edward, I—I …" she started, but trailed off, her eyes closing and my world collapsed as her heart faltered on a half-beat and stopped. There was silence.

"Nooooooo!" I growled. She couldn't die. I wouldn't let her. And I covered her mouth with mine and filled her lungs with air, doing frantic compressions as I tried to get her heart to restart. 1…2…3… breathe…. 1…2…3…breathe… repeat….repeat… After a minute or so, I was almost crying in desperation and finally, finally, there was a faint, very faint thrumming and she gasped, breathing now by herself. I sighed in relief, falling back onto my heels as I reveled in the sound of life. Alice thrust a phone in front of me.

"Carlisle," she said. I grabbed the phone and jammed it to my ear, almost breaking it.

"Carlisle, what do I do?" I begged him.

"Edward. First, calm down." I gulped down deep breaths, fighting back the nausea that threatened to overwhelm me.

"Are you calm?"

"Yes." My voice was dead, expressionless.

"Okay, how is she?"

"She's pretty bad. She's lost a lot of a blood. Her heart stopped a couple of minutes ago but I managed to get it restarted. Her heartbeat is really weak right now." My voice faltered on the last part.

"How long does she have?" I squeezed my eyes shut. For God's sake, I didn't want to think about that. I didn't want to consider the fact that Danny might die.

I felt hands on my shoulders and I felt Alice's arms wrapping around me in a comforting hug.

"Alice?" She looked at me sadly.

"I'm sorry, Edward." Shock coursed through me but I gritted my teeth and asked her something I'd never wanted to ask.

"How long?"

"Thirty minutes." Thirty minutes? That was enough time to get her to a hospital.

"Then we get her to the hospital. Now." Alice's face hadn't smoothed out any,

"The doctors won't be able to save her, Edward. Nothing can save her now. She has too many injuries." I closed my eyes, swallowing the lump in my throat. I concentrated on breathing deeply, but even that didn't help because Danny's scent was all around me, reminding me of what I was about to lose.

"Except…" the word came from both Carlisle on the phone and Alice beside me. My eyes snapped open, a glimmer of hope in my soul before I saw what Alice was thinking and I almost crushed the phone in my fury.

"You could change her. Right now, Edward," Carlisle said.

"Is that all you can tell me?" I asked him.

"Yes." I chucked the phone into the ocean, so hard that it broke into a million pieces when it hit the surface of the water. If that was all he could tell me, then there was no use in talking with him anymore. Alice gasped.

"Edward!" she reprimanded.

"No. I'm not doing that to her." I said darkly.

"So you would have her die instead." I couldn't answer. We sat there, as Danny's life ticked away by the second. Finally, Alice spoke.

"Look, Edward. I know this wasn't who you were planning to…" She couldn't finish. I was glad she didn't.

"Edward, you have to choose. Now. At least think about what Bella would have wanted. Would she have wanted you to just let Danny wither away? Or would she have wanted to you let Danny live, even as a vampire?" I didn't answer. I didn't want to have to think about this. I shouldn't have to make this decision.

"Or at least think about the choices. When Danny dies…" That was all she had to say. The pain of this option swept through my body like fire, like I was being burned alive, from the inside out. I knew I wouldn't be able to survive her death. The selfish beast inside me reared its ugly head. I imagined Danny, pale, beautiful, strong, Danny, who would then stay with me forever. I would never let her out of my sight after this. _But how do you know she's going to stay with _you_?_ that voice inside me asked. I didn't know. But I knew I didn't want her to die either. My insides were in agony.

"Edward!" Alice's urgent voice cut through my thoughts, "Hurry. We've got five minutes." I still hadn't decided. On the one hand, I couldn't let her die, and on the other, how could I turn her into a monster. What if she hated me for it forever?

"Edward. Only you can do this. I can't do it. Jasper can't do it, and Carlisle is too far away. You _have _to do this." And then, my decision was set. I groaned, hating myself for what I was about to do. I wasn't strong enough to have her die, too weak to just let her leave me forever. Taking one last glance of Danny as a human, I swooped down to kiss her cheek.

"I'm sorry, Danny." I whispered. And I sank my teeth into her delicate neck, just as her heart stopped. I paused, but Alice was already there, pumping Danny's chest to get her heart moving again. Her blood trickled onto my tongue and I inwardly groaned. It tasted so _good_, like the nectar that the gods on Mt. Olympus fed off of. But, impossibly, I reminded myself of my goal and forced myself to turn away and moved on to her wrists and her ankles.

"Edward, seal those cuts," Alice ordered, "the blood and venom are just oozing out of them." Not wasting a second, I quickly and deftly, trying hard not to think too much about what I was doing, licked each and every one of Danny's wounds closed so I was shocked when Danny's body twisted towards me as I did so, arching in the most erotic way. Even Alice paused for a second in surprise, but she started pumping away again in such a short length of time that I wondered if she even noticed it. But I forced myself to concentrate on the task at hand, finishing the job of sealing the venom inside of her. Then, Danny shuddered and went stiff as a board as the venom reached her heart, which began pumping regularly again. Alice sighed in relief and sat back onto her heels. It was done. Danny would soon become one of us. The nausea caught up with me then and I turned around and vomited air onto the sand. I was on my hands and knees, overpowered by the events of the last hour. I noted idly that I was shaking, trembling as if I were human and had been walking in the dead of winter without any clothes on. Alice flew to me and rubbed soothing circles on my back, trying to get me to calm down.

"It's okay," she crooned, "you did good."

"I did good," I gasped incredulously, trying to regain control over my body, "I don't suppose by good you mean turning Danny into a monster, do you? Or do you mean good in the fact that I didn't suck her body completely dry of blood?"

"You may not think so, but somehow I feel that this will all turn out for the better. I really do think you made the right decision here, Edward." I sighed. Alice and her visions… I wanted so bad to believe in what she said, but with the images of the battered Danny in my head, I couldn't. The heaving finally stopped and I crawled back to Danny, brushing a stray tear off her cheek. She looked so peaceful now… Of course all that would stop when the screaming started… Wait a minute… shouldn't she be screaming in pain right now? I frowned.

"Come on," Alice said, "let's take her home."

"Wait, Alice," I said, "something's not right."

"What?"

"Remember when James bit Bella? She was screaming from the burning in her hand? Why is Danny so silent?" Alice paused for a minute. She didn't remember her transformation at all, so she'd forgotten about the pain.

"Maybe… she's a strong girl…" Fear rose in my heart.

"Alice! What if something went wrong? What if I did something wrong?!"

"Edward! Listen to her heart. It's pumping away in there and look, feel there. She is getting cooler." I felt her neck. It did feel less warm, closer to my own temperature. I sighed in relief. I was glad that she wasn't in pain… yet. I cringed as I thought of the screaming that would start soon, the pain that she would experience, just because I was a selfish beast. I tried not to think about it anymore and scooped her up into my arms as easily as if she were a rag doll. It was amazing how she seemed to fit right in my arms, as if she were the missing part of the puzzle… I was distracted again but then Alice brought me back to Earth…

"Let's go," she urged. And Alice and I raced home.

**Come on… you know you want to say **_**something**_ **about this… review!**

**-love,**

**starrytwilightgirl**


	22. Chapter 22 Monster

DPOV

I was once again lost in this darkness. I idly wondered that I should probably name it something, since I visited it so often. But then again, I welcomed it now as a better alternative from the pain I would be facing, had I been conscious. I felt cool fingers brushing across my face and I inwardly sighed. That felt so good, so comforting, so _healing_… Then that voice again, from before, calling me back from the depths, uplifting me with its sweet music... I opened my eyes to see beauty in his purest form, Edward. He was staring at me, horrified, an age of grief in his eyes.

"Edward," I whispered. I wanted to reach up and touch his perfect face, to smooth out the crinkle of worry that both marred and became his smooth forehead, but I couldn't move my arm.

"Don't worry. I'm here now. I'll take care of you," Edward spoke earnestly. That reminded me of why I couldn't move. The nightmare returned and tears came to my eyes as my mood swung violently from joy to shame. I suddenly realized that I was naked and covered in all sorts of bruises and cuts, violated in the most humiliating of ways. I turned my head away from him in shame, not wanting to see the disgust that would appear in his eyes as he looked at my body.

"Please… don't look at me. You shouldn't see this," I told him, my voice cracking. There was silence for a moment, and I was sure he'd left me and I was glad that he did, not wanting him to see me like this any longer, but I was sad that he was gone. Then:

"Shh… Don't talk. You'll be fine soon. I promise." I tried to smile (he didn't leave me!), but found that I couldn't. He was wrong. I wouldn't be fine. I could feel my body failing me, my heart starting to become weaker and weaker. I felt an inner tug, as my soul struggled to free itself from my broken body. I was frantic. I wanted to tell him goodbye, to give him some inkling of the depth of my feelings for him…

"Edward, I—I …" I managed to say before the darkness reclaimed me. _I love you,_I thought, hoping he would hear it and know it was me. I felt a strange buoyancy in my spirit, lifting me up, where, I didn't know. Then, just as suddenly, I felt a tug coming from the opposite direction, pulling me back down. These two forces played a tug of war with me, until I was almost sure that it would split me apart, and then, the lower force won and I felt myself being sucked back into my body. Darkness still had a hold of me. I wanted to look upon Edward's face again, but I couldn't escape the darkness. I was afraid because I couldn't even hear his voice anymore. I knew he was near me, I felt his presence, but I didn't have any physical proof that he was there. It was agony. Then, I felt it, the proof.

There was a brush of lips against my cheek, sending a rush of warmth through my whole body, and I heard him say, "I'm sorry, Danny." I was momentarily stunned. Had he really kissed me? It didn't make any sense. Edward wouldn't kiss me. Then, all these thoughts flew out of my head as a sharp pain stabbed in my neck and I felt the buoyancy again. But my spirit didn't leave my body this time; someone was keeping my heart pumping. I soon felt another, similar pain in my wrists and my ankles. I felt the vibration of the air as someone said something and then, I felt a soft, silky smooth tongue brush across the cuts all across my body, setting it on fire as it trailed its way across my stomach, my arms, my legs, my breasts… I wanted to moan, to scream, to do _something_ but I couldn't. I was blindfolded and gagged in the darkness and I couldn't do anything to make myself known.

And then, my heart started pumping by itself, and my soul was tethered to my body again, this time by stronger ties than before. I stiffened as some foreign substance spread through my veins, changing my body as it went. It was hot, searing every inch of my flesh that it touched, but it wasn't uncomfortable. I'd never felt this before, but strangely, somehow my body knew this substance, welcomed it even. I felt each cell in my body embrace the fire rushing through my veins, throwing themselves at it in willing self-destruction as the fire crystallized the cells it burned. I waited patiently for this fire to stop, but it didn't. Was this dying? If it was, then dying wasn't so bad after all… I wondered what people were afraid of…

Time seemed to pass like molasses and I was waiting, waiting for when I would either wake up or die and break free of this tedium. I've never liked to sit around idly. Almost as if in response to my irritation, my brain opened and emptied out all the stored memories of the years, like home videos playing on the television. I saw my mom, pushing me on the swings when I was five, romping around with a worried Bella as seven year olds, Edward's arms around me when he caught me after my fall… but one memory caught my eye. It was of an old woman with snow white hair and a glassy stare. She was saying something and I strained to hear her…

"_You will find anguish and love in someone that you did not expect. Proceed cautiously, for this relationship will be shaky in the beginning, but will grow stronger and stronger, as a sprig grows into a mighty oak. You will die soon- and painfully- but you will be around for an eternity. Beware of a wolf at the beach. He will destroy you. But, you will survive and rise up again as a new being, like a phoenix does from the flames that destroy it."_

I slowly analyzed this memory, as I would one of the novels we had to read at school. _Beware of a wolf at the beach…_A wolf? It was just Jacob… But what was that that Emmett said one day? Don't let the wolves eat you? But that was nonsense… And what was I doing now? Was I turning into a phoenix, a bird? No, that didn't make any sense… My brain grew more and more confused as my heart started to speed up. What was happening? I wondered dazedly. My heart increased its speed, finally becoming a thrumming, like the hummingbird's wings and I knew I was going to die. I steeled myself, preparing for the final minute when suddenly, my heart burst into a thousand sparks, a firework in the dark night. I waited for death that I knew would be coming. Minutes passed and I was still here. How? Impossible…

Then, I began to perceive again. I felt the softness of a blanket on my body and I felt the whoosh of air as someone whisked past me. Sounds came in too, I heard talking and whispering…

"She's going to wake up any second now."

"This was so fast… no where near the three days it should've taken."

"When did he change her? Yesterday? That means it took only one day…"

"Are you sure that she's really changed?"

"Well, look at her. Look at how pale she is, how cold and how hard. Her heart's not beating either. She's definitely changed."

I couldn't make any sense of what was going on. What did they mean I've changed? I—I was still _me_ wasn't I? It wasn't as if I'd suddenly morphed into a giant lizard or anything was it? There were so many voices, but I couldn't pick out the one that I really wanted to hear. I struggled to open my eyes.

"Look! She's moving!" And then, suddenly, as if a latch had been opened, my eyes popped open and I could see everything around me with striking clarity. I looked around me, but I had to force myself to slow down. My body wasn't responding like it used to. If I try to move my eyes ten degrees, it would move a hundred. I slowly looked around.

All the Cullens were crowding around me, looking at me anxiously, as if trying to detect something wrong. There was something very familiar about this scene…_déjà vu_… but I couldn't quite recall what it was. The memory was rather hazy, like an old photograph. I stared back at the beautiful family. No, I was wrong. All of the Cullens weren't here. There was one missing, the most important one… to me at least.

I sat up, but I forgot to do so slowly, and as a result, I shot up like a rocket, startling everyone around me. They crouched into defensive positions as if I were about to attack them or something. I was a bit hurt… I wouldn't attack them. I waited for a moment, thinking that if I stayed still enough, maybe they'd relax. I was right. After a few moments, they did, but the anxiety didn't leave their eyes.

"What happened?" I asked. My eyes widened as I heard my own voice. I clutched at my throat, shocked at the sound it had produced. It sounded like my voice, but like a digitally remastered version of it. It spilled out in silvery tones, more singing than speaking.

"You're one of us now, Danny," Carlisle explained.

"I'm one of--" I repeated confused, and then I got it. My voice broke off and my eyes bugged out even wider as my gaze swept down my body, my new, rock hard, white as snow, diamond body and glanced back at Carlisle, making comparisons as I did so.

"I—I'm a _vampire?!?_" I managed to choke out.

"Yes," Carlisle said, watching me warily, trying to see how I would take this new information. My new brain seemed to work faster than my old one and it whirred frantically, trying to dissect this new knowledge.

"What--? How--?" I sputtered, trying to make sense of it all.

"You were dying, Danny…"Carlisle explained again, sadness in his eyes. Yes, I remembered that. I remembered dying… and yet, here I was. _Why was I dying…_I wondered… and then, as my gaze continued down my body, I remembered the pain of my final moments, the pain and the humiliation. It all came flooding back… I shuddered.

"I'm sorry, Danny," Rosalie whispered, regarding me with a look of pity in her eyes. There was an undercurrent of understanding in them that wasn't present in anyone else's. I briefly wondered why. Then Carlisle interrupted my thoughts with a question:

"Danny, how was your transformation? We're all extremely, because you changed so fast. It should have taken three days for this metamorphosis, but the venom entered your body just a day ago… What happened?" Inundated with this new info, my brain struggled to remember the darkness…

"Were you in pain?" Carlisle prompted. That sparked something.

"No. I wasn't. Not at all. In fact, it felt rather pleasant, as if my body _recognized _the substance. I—I—My body felt like it was embracing it even, welcoming it in…" There was a stunned silence in the room.

"Amazing," Carlisle whispered after a few seconds.

"It's as if she were born to be vampire…" Esme breathed.

"Like it's been programmed into her nature…" Jasper gasped.

"Like it's been fated in the stars…" Alice added, but with an implication I couldn't identify. There was a silence as the fact that I was a vampire now started to sink in. I started to freak.

"No," I rejected this new twist in things, "this… this can't be possible. I shouldn't be here. This should be Bella. Bella should be here. You've got the wrong person!"

"Danny… Bella's…" Carlisle began.

"I know she's dead," I snapped, but instantly regretted it when I saw how taken aback he was. I closed my eyes and bit my lip. Hard. But no blood came out as I expected. _Great. What more can I take from Bella?_ I tried to calm myself when I noted guiltily the exponentially increasing worried expressions on the Cullens' faces. Then, I felt a wave of peace brush across me and all of my angst vanished. I looked at Jasper, who smiled at me a bit.

"Thanks, Jasper." I said. I wanted, and needed, some respite from the turmoil in my mind. I could feel a sort of power emanating from him and from Alice as well. There was power emanating from Carlisle as well, though of a different sort. I calmly analyzed my situation. One important question came to mind…

"Who changed me?" There were glances exchanged around the room. I didn't understand them. Then Carlisle looked back at me, wary again.

"Edward did."

"Edward?"

"Yes." That surprised me. Edward changed me? Why would he want to change me? He didn't want me around forever did he?… But the topic reminded me of the missing Cullen…

"Where is he?" More glances exchanged, vaguely irritating me, but Jasper's calm quickly brushed that irritation away. Carlisle glanced pointedly at Jasper and the calm increased tenfold. Then he turned around to me and answered my question…

"He's… hunting…" There was a double meaning to his words that I didn't understand. And then, I got it.

"What _exactly_ is he hunting, Carlisle?" He wouldn't answer.

"Carlisle! Tell me!" I was getting a bit frantic. The calm wasn't working anymore. I felt Jasper's power surround me and instead of letting it affect me, I absorbed it and threw it back at him. He looked at me, stunned.

"Did you just turn my own power against me?" I didn't answer him…

"Carlisle…" My voice was warning now.

"Danny…I don't support it either, but none of us could stop him… he was furious… Danny!" They moved to block me, but it was too late. I was too fast for them and I was out the window, surprised at how easily I landed. I hit the ground running… I could hear voices behind me, people running after me, but I left them behind. Strains of sound drifted after me…

"…not safe…thirst…"

"…Edward…make sure…let her…" And then the voices stopped. They had stopped chasing me. I wracked my brain for where he could be. _Danny you impulsive idiot, _I thought, _it's so typical of you to go rushing out the door without a plan…_But then, that plan came to me as I ran across a delicious scent that I knew to be completely 100% Edward. It smelled like heaven. I stopped in my tracks, stunned for a while, but reminded myself of my mission and chased after the smell. I raced along the path that the smell led me, my brain idly surprised at how fast I was running. Normally, I would have tripped by now, but my new brain saw the roots way before they could have tripped me and I flew along, desperate to find him.

Finally, the scent grew stronger and I knew I was getting closer. Then, along with his smell, came a new smell… The first thing my mind registered was its wetness. It smelled _wet_. Not a pleasant smell, but rather a mildew-y smell. I wrinkled my nose. The second thing my mind registered was that it was warm, and pulsing. My throat tickled, and I wondered what this was. I burst into the clearing and there he was, crouched and ready to spring. My breath caught…

"_Edward!!!_" I screamed. He whipped around at the sound of my voice, totally caught off guard.

"Danny? What are you doing here?" he growled, "Go home."

"No, Edward, don't…!" And then I saw what he was hunting. Not Jacob, but a huge whining russet wolf, all trussed up like a pig for the slaughter.

"Oh… I'm sorry… I thought…" And then I looked closer. The wolf's eyes were sad and pleading… human almost… and familiar… and then, before my astonished eyes, the wolf transformed into…

"Jacob?!" I gasped.

"Danny! I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking…" Jacob rambled, his face twisted with guilt.

"Shut up, dog!" Edward snarled at him. Jacob flinched, but didn't remove his eyes from my face. I was speechless. I couldn't piece together what was happening. A day went by and my whole world had turned topsy-turvy. I was now a vampire and Jacob was a _wolf?_ What the FUCK?

"You…you're…" I gasped.

"He's a werewolf," Edward said, his voice hard. I was still stunned.

"Beware of a wolf at the beach…" I repeated the line from the remnants of the far off memory.

"What was that?" Edward asked.

"Nothing." I turned to him, focusing on the more important matter at hand.

"Edward… don't do this." He stared at me as if I were crazy.

"Don't do… Danny! Do you know what he _did_ to you?!"

"Yes, I do Edward. Thank you for reminding me." He winced, and I felt a bit bad, but I barreled on.

"But you need to know that it wasn't exactly intentional."

"How do you _rape_ someone unintentionally?" Now it was my turn to wince.

"I had just broken up with him Edward… and he'd just lost Bella…"

"She's speaking the truth, man! I wasn't thinking clearly, I really hate myself for this, but please…" Jacob interceded.

We both turned around and snarled, "Shut up, Jacob!" This was between us. Edward turned back to me.

"That doesn't excuse…"

"I know it doesn't, Edward! But still! You can't do this." Jacob's eyes flew back and forth between Edward and me as he watched our fight, tensely wondering what the outcome was going to be.

"Watch me." And he stalked toward Jacob again. I screamed, truly frightened.

"Edward, I swear to God, if you do this I will hate you for the rest of my life, I swear I will! I'll never forgive you for it!" Not exactly true. I could never hate Edward, but I was grasping at straws here. Amazingly, he listened to me. He tensed and slowly turned towards me and I gasped when I saw the sea of pain in his eyes.

"Really?" He asked softly. I faltered a bit, stunned by the emotion in his eyes. But I gathered my wits about me and volleyed back firmly, although every dead cell in my body hurt to do so.

"Really." He closed his eyes. I waited.

"If you'd just seen yourself when Alice and I got there, Danny, you were a mess…"

"Not a reason for murder. Because that's what this will be." Edward opened his eyes, looking at me with resignation.

"Fine, Danny. I'll leave him be. He doesn't deserve it, but I promise I won't touch him." I sighed in relief.

"Thank you, Danny! Thankyouthankyouthankyou!"

"I may have saved your life, Jacob, but don't think that I've forgiven you just yet," I said to him, "What you did to me was unforgivable, no matter what the reason." I took a deep breath, trying to cleanse myself of this forever. I didn't want this to be hanging onto my mind. Having it happen was bad enough, but I didn't want it to trail after me for the rest of my life, or my existence, or whatever.

But that was a bad move. I had been so mired in all this crap and drama that I hadn't noticed that I was crazy thirsty. And along with the breath I took in came the pain of thirst, as if I'd just inhaled a whole bottle of hot red pepper. I choked a little and felt an urge to feed and to my horror, my instinct focused on the closest thing there was, which was… Jacob. His scent was tinged with that nasty wet smell, but it was close enough to something edible that I was slowly losing my mind. Jacob noticed the change and whimpered, struggling against his cords now, he morphed again into a wolf, trying to break free but he couldn't move. _Run, Jacob!_ I thought.

"Edward…" I rasped, "Get me out of here!"

"Danny! What's wrong?" He rushed over to me.

"GET ME OUT OF HERE!" I screamed at him, frantic now, "I'm… I'm…"

"You're what?" Edward said.

"Thirsty…" I finished as I felt the last part of my control slip away and a monster possess my body. Edward's eyes widened as he looked from me to Jacob and he grabbed my arms, but I didn't see what happened next because darkness reclaimed me and I blacked out…

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After a few moments, the blackess receded and I was confused as to where I was. There was a strong acrid smell in my nostrils and my lips curled in disgust. My sight and sense of feeling came back as well and I noticed that my head was immersed in… fur? Then, my horrified gaze took in the bigger picture. The fur was Jacob, who as I watched, turned back into a boy… a boy who was clearly dead. And I grew even more horrified as I raised my hands to find blood on them… Jacob's blood…

"Danny…" someone said tentatively. I whipped my head around to find Edward, staring at me with equal horror. I looked around him to see that many of the trees around the clearing were broken, when they weren't before, the trunks snapped off about five feet from the ground. There were some dents in the ground as well, with familiar shapes to them… Edward-shaped dents… And then, as my eyes whipped back from Jacob to the trees, to the dents, to Edward, everything clicked with frightful clarity. Jacob was dead… because of _me_… his blood was on _my_ hands, and I had hurt Edward in the process, because there was no way he couldn't have been hurt judging by the trees and the dents in the ground. My stomach turned and I regurgitated everything I had taken in. A stream of red poured from my mouth, staining the green grass. I trembled, disgusted by myself, at what I had become. Was this what I was doomed to be?

"Danny!" Edward said, rushing to me now. How could he still be worried about me, after what I had done?

"Don't touch me," I whispered. I couldn't bear to be touched. I wouldn't contaminate him too… He paused, hesitating near me. I couldn't look at him. I couldn't bear to see the repulsed look that would certainly be in his eyes.

"Danny, this isn't your fault. It was mine. I should have realized what was happening sooner. Please, don't…" But I didn't stay to hear the rest of it because I was running. Running to get away from Jacob's dead body, from Edward's sure disgust, from anyone else I could possibly hurt.

"Danny!" I heard behind me. I ran faster, although my body responded to the call and ached to go to it. I heard running steps behind me, following me, but I pushed myself farther and ran… and ran… and ran… and soon, I couldn't hear the steps anymore. I soon reached a body of water and without thinking, jumped in and started swimming, ignoring the ice chunks that bumped into my shoulder as I passed. I swam for what seemed like an eternity, but was probably only a few short minutes, before I bumped into land and crawled onto the frozen shore, flinging myself into the snow and wishing for the end of my existence. For I was sure that an abomination like me shouldn't be allowed to exist anymore. I destroyed everything in my path. First Bella, and now Jacob. I was a monster.

**Oooh… cliffy. insert evil cackle here We'll see when the next chapter will be up, that is… if I get enough reviews (hint hint).**

**-starrytwilightgirl**


	23. Chapter 23 Plans

_Sunny days  
Where have you gone?  
I get the strangest feeling you belong  
Why does it always rain on me?  
Is it because I lied when I was seventeen?  
Why does it always rain on me?  
Even when the sun is shining  
I can't avoid the lightning_

"Why Does It Always Rain On Me"

Coldplay

DPOV

I didn't know how long I lay there in the snow, but I knew it was long enough for me to start getting hungry. Well, no, not hungry, thirsty… but everytime I thought of hunting, I thought of Jacob and his mangled and drained body in front of me, his blood on my hands, and a fresh wave of self-loathing pulsed through me. So, I tried not to think about my thirst, trying to convince myself that I was not thirsty. Fresh snow covered me from time to time, and, if I were human, I would have frozen dead by now, but I was a vampire. That didn't matter now. I was being frozen from the inside already anyway and the soft snow felt comforting against my skin. And so time went on where I tried not to think and repeatedly failed, the horrible images playing in my head, as if to torture me… Jacob's body… Edward's shock… the broken trees… alternating and repeating over and over again as I lay there in my own personal hell. I couldn't stop thinking about Bella, how disappointed she must be… how angry… she would never forgive me. The one last thing she'd asked of me was to help Jacob, but instead of helping him… I murdered him. I shuddered. I didn't deserve to be her friend. The locket around my neck was now a constant reminder of my sins.

Then, one day, I heard the crunching of footsteps on the ground. Thinking that it might be human, I tried to move, not wanting another Jacob, but found that I couldn't. I was too weak to move. I could only hope that whoever it was would pass me by, not noticing me or not caring. But I had no such luck…

"Hey…," a voice called out to me, "are you okay?" I didn't answer; I was frozen, too scared to move for fear that whoever was foolish enough to disturb me would go away. I held my breath, waiting for them to move on. But a pair of hands hauled me up from my face-down position in the snow and peered at me.

"Well, you're a pretty one. You're not human, are you?" My ears perked up and I opened my eyes, peering through my ice encrusted eyelashes at whoever had pulled me up. As soon as I had looked, I immediately knew that the woman was not human; she was a vampire. I inwardly sighed in relief. Good. Not someone I could hurt. She looked at me, waiting for my answer, but I didn't speak. She could leave me here for all I cared.

"Are you mute?" And then, she made a couple of hand gestures that I recognized as sign language. I stared at her.

"Or, maybe, are you just retarded?" That sparked me. I hated it when people called me stupid.

"No, I AM NOT retarded." The vampire smiled.

"So it DOES speak." I glared at her. She kept smiling at me. It was semi-annoying, since all I wanted to do was just drown in my misery and forget about the world. But, part of my heart craved for human (well, not human) contact and I couldn't be too nettled.

"Now, are you going to tell me why you're lying here all alone?" I sighed, for real this time.

"I did something very, very bad. I'm a monster."

"What did you do?" I shook my head. I wasn't ready to tell anyone just yet, especially a total stranger. The vampire sighed.

"Whatever you did, it can't have been that bad, can it?" I shook my head again.

"Come on, what was it? Did you steal? Lie? Cheat? Kill?" At the last one, I cringed; I couldn't help myself and the vampire went, "Aha!"

"So you killed a human… lots of us do that. It's what we do, part of our nature. Of course, some of us like myself and my sister, we choose not to, but sometimes, though not often, we slip. We all make mistakes." I continued shaking my head. It wasn't like that… I _knew _Jacob, and even if I didn't, that still didn't excuse what I did.

"Now, would you mind telling me your name, little one?" I hesitated, wondering what I should tell her.

"Dana." I said. _There, that's close enough_.

"Okay, Dana. Are you new to us? I don't think I've ever seen you before…"

"I'm… relatively new."

"Hm… no wonder you're so guilty over something so simple… who changed you?"

"I don't recall…" I recalled perfectly, in fact, but I didn't want to reveal anything just yet.

"Well, let's get you somewhere more comfortable, you look like you've been through hell and back." I smiled wryly… if only she knew… She hauled me up onto my feet and let me go. I stood for a second but my knees wobbled and I soon collapsed back into the snow. _What's wrong with me?_ I thought. The vampire looked at me there, quizzical, then understanding dawned on her face.

"How long have you gone without blood?"

"I don't know… what's the date?"

"It's the first of December." I counted back the months in my mind…

"Around four months, I suppose." Her eyes widened.

"Well geez… no wonder you can't get up. Wait a minute… I'll be right back." And her heels kicked up a cloud of snow as she raced away. A couple of minutes passed and then she reappeared, holding a mass in her arms that she lay down for me. The smell of blood hit my nostrils, scraping across my throat as if with a rusty kitchen knife.

"Here," the vampire ordered, "drink." I looked at it and wrinkled my nose. I wanted to feed; I needed to feed. Something filled my mouth. It wasn't saliva…it tasted a bit spicier, like the Red Hots that Bella and I used to stuff into our mouths to see how many we could hold before we couldn't take it anymore. It must be venom. I licked my lips, dying of thirst. But the image of Jake kept me at bay…

"Well, well, well… but you are young," she scrutinized me, "look, you just sink your teeth in and drink."

"I know how to do it, I just…"

"What?" I looked at the "meal." I did need to feed… and it was _just_ an animal. I'd had plenty of burgers when I was human… I looked at it warily.

"It won't suddenly turn into a person, will it?" She stared at me and then burst into peals of bell-like laughter.

"How strange you are! Of course it won't. It's just a seal." And so, I let go and I dug in. The blood slipped through my throat, dulling the pain like a healing salve. After the animal was drained dry, I raised my head from the carcass, a bit disgusted at having drunk blood, but wanting more.

"Okay, now… can you stand up?" I pulled myself up to my feet. I could stand now.

"Good. Now, that's probably not enough is it?" A bit ashamed, I shook my head no.

"Don't be so abashed. It's nothing unusual. You just go hunt some more."

"But I don't know how to hunt." I've never hunted before, not even as a human.

"Well, now's just as a good a time to learn as any. Come on." So I followed her and she taught me. She hunted first as I watched and analyzed her movements. Then it was my turn. I took a deep breath and copied her movements. I was surprised to find out it wasn't so hard. Almost instinctual. Soon, I was hunting with ease.

"Wow… you're a fast learner." I gave her a half-smile. Then, something occurred to me…

"I'm sorry. I never asked for your name."

"I'm Tanya." _Tanya…_ that rang a bell somewhere… but I couldn't place it.

"It's very nice to meet you, Tanya. Thank you for teaching me."

"No problem, little one. Now, do you have any particular plans? Anywhere to go?"

"No… not exactly." In fact, I had no idea what I would do. My plans up to this point had been to just lie in that snow bank forever and hopefully just rot away, but now that I was stronger, my ADD returned and I felt an urge to do _something_, to make the best of my cursed existence. If I had survived and Bella hadn't, then I wouldn't waste the life she didn't have.

"Well, in that case, why don't you come to my house? I have three sisters, Kate, Irina and Carmen, and Carmen's mate Eleazar lives with us as well. I'm sure they'd be thrilled to have company." I hesitated for a moment, wondering why these names rang so many bells in my head, but I shrugged it off and said

"Sure."

"Follow me." And I did. As we ran, a question popped up in my mind, something I hadn't cared to think about in the past couple of months.

"Tanya, where exactly are we?" She turned to the side to look at me briefly, puzzled yet again.

"Why, we're in Alaska." _Oh._ So that's where I was… We neared a charming little house nestled against the edge of a great cliff.

"You have a beautiful house, Tanya."

"Thank you." And we went in.

"Kate, Carmen, Irina, Eleazar! Look who I found!" The four vampires looked up. They were all strikingly beautiful.

"Hello." They all greeted. I murmured a hello shyly.

"Who are you?" The blonde one asked.

"I'm Dana."

The others all introduced themselves. Soon, they began peppering me with questions. How old was I? When was I changed? Why was I changed? Who changed me? I struggled to answer the questions, some truthfully, some flat out lies. We sat on the couch, chatting amiably for a couple of hours. I hadn't realized how much I needed to talk to someone, anyone.

"Have you met any others like us yet?"

"I don't think so…"

"Do you know the Cullens? They're just like us, animal-drinkers that is. They live on the Olympic Peninsula, in Washington. They're a huge clan, but they're all paired up. All except for Edward, that is." I almost choked. They knew the Cullens? Then I remembered where I heard their names. It was in that discussion with Carlisle I had, which seemed to be ages ago. Of course! They were the other clan that lived as they did.

"Ah, Edward!" Tanya exclaimed. I wished they would stop mentioning his name. Everytime they did, it was as if they were stabbing a knife in my heart. The others smirked.

"We're all good friends of the Cullens. Tanya here has been trying to snag him for years, but she's never appealed to _him. _In fact, did you know?" Here, their voices lowered conspiratorially.

"He'd fallen in love. And not with a vampire! But with a _human _girl! Can you believe that? Her name was Bella, but…" They exchanged glances.

"It's all very sad," Carmen murmured.

"Yes," Tanya agreed, "she died just a couple of months ago. Went on an errand to a bank and was shot dead by a robber." They shook their heads in sympathy. I squeezed my eyes closed, the memories cutting into me once again.

"Humans are just _so_ vulnerable."

"The Cullens have had a lot of trouble lately."

"Yes, remember that phone call a while back, Tanya? From Carlisle?"

"Oh, yes, yes! They were all quite frantic." I glanced at them curiously. What had happened in my absence?

"Apparently, Bella had a sister! Wait, no, a cousin, it was…" I froze.

"That's right. It was her cousin. She was devastated when Bella died. Did all of this crazy stuff. Went out with a werewolf! Can you _imagine_?"

"And then, something happened to her. Carlisle wouldn't tell me. Said it was a situation of immense delicacy. Personally, I think it was the werewolf. But whatever it was, they had to change her! And do you know what? She ran off!" I couldn't move. I knew I should be running right now. If Carlisle had told them… I didn't run off just to be returned like a lost puppy. I had sworn not to cause them anymore pain. But, I couldn't move. The pain that I felt when they mentioned Edward and Bella was paralyzing.

"Right, and they were all frantic, searching absolutely everywhere. I heard Edward was the worst. He was the one who'd lost her. And he was supposed to be the fastest in the family too… I guess that was why he was so devastated. She was faster than him." _Edward was devastated? _I thought. _Why? He just saw me kill someone!_ My head was churning so fast it was making me dizzy.

"And then he called us, wanting us to keep a look out for her."

"What was her name again?"

"D-Danny I think. They told me she was rather short, with lots of dark red hair…" Carmen trailed off in her description and stared at me. The others did as well, with a look of surprise and recognition in their eyes, putting two and two together. _Uh-oh_.

"What was your name again, little one?"

"Uh…"

"Where did you find her Tanya?"

"She was just there, lying face-down in the snow. I thought she was dead at first, but then I saw the texture of her skin and knew that she was a vampire. She was completely weak with thirst, didn't even know how to hunt…" They had surrounded me now and I sank down into the chair.

"Danny?" they asked tentatively. _Well, the cat's out of the bag now._

"Please," I whispered, "Don't tell them about me. I've caused them enough trouble as it is. In fact, it's best if everyone just forgot all about me, forget I came through here." I made to get up, but they pushed me back into the chair.

"_Mi querida_," Carmen said, "They're not _angry _at you. They're just very very worried. They want you to come back."

"You don't understand. I can't go back."

"Why not?"

"I-I just can't."

"Well, we made Carlisle a promise that we would tell him, if we saw any sign of you. They've been worried sick." I bit my lip, guilt flooding into my system.

"Well… I guess you can tell them I'm okay. But please, wait until I'm gone and tell them not to come after me. And tell them… tell them… thank you. I appreciate everything they've done for me."

"What are you going to do all by yourself?" I thought about it for a moment… What _was _I going to do?

"I—I suppose I'll earn some money, so I'll be able to support myself. Before then, I'll just live on the streets I suppose. It's not as if I need to sleep. Then, I'll just pick up where I left off… I think I'll go back to school. Of course I'll have to forge some documents, but I think I'll be fine. Please, tell them not to worry. I'll be just fine by myself. I'm not an idiot." They stared at me.

"She's a brave one," Kate whispered.

"Not as much as you think," I said. There were so many things I were afraid of, number one on the list being meeting Edward again and seeing the repulsion in his eyes as he remembered the last time we had met.

"Powerful too," Eleazar this time. I looked at him curiously, wondering what he meant. The others regarded him with the same expression.

"You have a powerful gift, child." I stared at him, totally confused, a gift?

"What does she do Eleazar?" Kate asked.

"You're an absorber. You are able to take the powers of those around you and manipulate them as you wish. In fact, I'm rather surprised that you haven't taken mine yet and figured this out for yourself. I can sense the gifts of others."

"Oh," I said, completely taken aback; I'd felt the power currents around Eleazar, and Kate as well, but I didn't know that it was a power, "I never knew."

"Well, you know now. Just don't go about shouting it about. There are many who'll be threatened by it and will seek to destroy you for it." I shuddered.

"Thanks for the warning, Eleazar."

"It's the best I can do for Carlisle. If you ever meet up again, I'm sure he'll want you back in one piece."

I smiled ruefully, "I doubt that'll happen Eleazar, but thanks again." I stood up.

"Are you leaving now? You're more than welcome to stay a few more hours."

I wasn't willing too. Now that my cover was blown, I wasn't willing to waste any more time where Tanya or Kate could sneak a call to Carlisle about where I was.

"I figured that now that I've finally decided what I was going to do with the rest of eternity, I might as well start now."

"Why don't you stay a while longer?"

"No, that won't be necessary Tanya. But thanks for the offer."

"I'm sure that Carlisle would love to have you back, Danny. Or at least hear from you yourself."

"No, I really should be going now. But send him my love. Esme, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, and… Edward… too."

"Are you sure you'll be okay around people? You haven't been trained like we have, and we'll be more than happy to train you." I thought back to Jacob and my disgust with even simple animal blood and I was sure of my answer.

"Trust me. I have no desire to take anyone else's life. Besides, I'll probably try to stay away from people for a while." They looked in my eyes and evaluated the truth of my statement and seemed to be content in what they saw.

"Well, alright then. We wish you the best of luck." I gave them each a hug and a goodbye and left, running towards Canada and keeping as wide a berth from Forks as I possibly could. As I left, I could already hear fingers dialing the numbers on a phone.

EPOV

I couldn't believe I had lost her. I beat myself up over it for weeks following the incident, but no matter how much I did, she never came back. We searched everywhere, but she had jumped into the ocean and swam God knows where. The ocean messed up her scent, so we had no idea where she might have gone. She could be in China for all we know. Or… but I shuddered at this idea. She was stronger now, virtually indestructible, I reminded myself. Yet, I still worried.

We'd called the Denali clan even, asking them to keep a lookout, but no phone call came. And as the months passed, first Rosalie, then Emmett, then Jasper, Esme, Carlisle, and Alice began to accept that she wasn't coming back. Eventually, my own hope dwindled as well. Now, I was just trying to convince myself that it was all for the best. Maybe now, I would be able to focus on Bella now, and the grief that I was supposed to be feeling, but, it, like Danny, never came.

I sighed, lying on the couch in my room, listening to my CD's one after the other. I found that it took two weeks to listen to my entire CD collection. The others tried to inject some enthusiasm into me. Jasper and Emmett invited me to partake in a bet with them, Rosalie tried to get me to help her with her car, Carlisle tried to explain some new medical research to me, Esme tried to get me to help her with some proportions on a house she was working on, Alice tried to get me to go shopping with her (although how she could have thought that would have helped anyone was beyond me), but I didn't respond to any of them. I stayed in my room all day, only going out occasionally to hunt. I knew I was hurting Esme, she always looked so worried; she hated seeing me like this, but I couldn't gather up the energy to be anything more than gloomy.

There was a small explosion near my door and Alice burst in.

"Alice," I said wearily, "do you _ever_ knock?"

"No. Edward, the phone…" I blinked, confused… and then… _briiiing…_There it was.

"You came to tell me to pick up the phone? Do it yourself Alice."

"You're going to want to listen in on this one, Edward." And then, before I even heard what she was thinking, Carlisle's voice answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"_Carlisle. It's Tanya. We've found her._" There was no doubt in my regarding who she meant. My mind blanked out for a second, and then, I rushed to Carlisle's office. He was expecting me and he put up his hand before I could wrench the phone away from him.

"You found Danny? Is she okay?"

"She seemed fine. But when I found her, she was totally alone. I thought she was just another hiker or something who'd gotten lost and succumbed to the cold. But she was totally weak, hadn't gone without blood for four months. Couldn't even stand. I had to catch a seal for her. Had to teach her to hunt, too." _She couldn't even stand?!_ Was she trying to kill herself? I shuddered. I started to head out the door, but Carlisle stopped me.

"Wait, Edward."

"Edward?" Tanya said, surprised, from the other end of the line.

"What do you mean _seemed_ fine, Tanya. Isn't she there with you right now?" I paused. I hadn't caught that. There was a pause from the other end of the line. I waited, growing more impatient by the second.

"Well, we obviously offered her our place to stay for a couple of weeks, but she wouldn't have it. She left. She told us to tell you that she appreciates everything you've done for her and not to come after her, that she'll be fine." I cursed. This girl was _impossible_. I lose her so many times, and just when I think I have her again, she disappears like water slipping through my fingers. But no, this time I'll find her. I made to leave but Carlisle stopped me again with a sharp glance. I growled in impatience. Tanya was still speaking.

"…and really Carlisle, I don't think you have any reason to worry. Danny seems very… capable. She's one of the strongest creatures I have ever met. Did you know, that when I found her, I brought a seal to her, freshly killed. Any normal vampire would've jumped on that seal like a kid on Christmas morning, but she didn't. In fact, she asked me the strangest thing, asked me if it would turn into in animal. Now what do you make of that?" I frowned. Of course. That was why she was starving herself. Jacob. Of course. That mutt didn't deserve all this heartache that Danny was wasting over him. She shouldn't be worrying. I tuned back into the conversation…

"She's extremely powerful as well. Which is why I warned her not to go running off and telling everyone about her gift… If the Volturi gets even an idea of what she can do…" Carlisle and I glanced at each other, alarmed.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't you know? I thought you would've known her gift by now. It's very potent."

"Tanya," I said through gritted teeth, "what are you talking about?"

"Oh! Hello, Edward! I didn't know you were still listening..." Carlisle looked at my frustration and quickly said,

"Tanya, what gift are you talking about?"

"Why, Danny has the gift of absorbing… She can absorb the powers of any vampire she meets. And if she does that, I suppose she can use that to deflect the powers of others as well." Carlisle and I looked at each other, horrified. Tanya was right. If Danny got into the hands of the Volturi… she wouldn't have a choice. She would either have to join… or die. The Volturi would consider her too much of a threat to let her live. That sealed it, I started out again.

"WAIT, Edward." I snarled. It took all of my self control not to hurtle out the door right now.

"Thank you, Tanya. We appreciate it."

"No problem, Carlisle. Are you planning on visiting soon?"

"Maybe. We haven't planned anything. But I'll be looking forward to the next time that we meet."

"As will I. Goodbye Carlisle. Bye Edward!" I didn't answer.

"Good-bye, Tanya." Carlisle hung up the phone. He turned to look at me.

"Well?!" I said, "What are we waiting for, Carlisle. We have to go find her before the Volturi does."

"Let's not be too hasty, Edward. Let's think about this for a moment."

"What is there to think about?"

"Well, a lot of things. First of all, what about Danny's wishes? She obviously wants to have some time to herself Edward. She's been through a lot. Besides, remember when you wanted to go off by yourself, as well? Esme and I let you, because we knew that you needed it. Don't you think Danny deserves the same?" I closed my eyes, clenching and re-clenching my fists. I hated when they guilt-tripped me. I was guilt-ridden enough.

"And what if she runs across the Volturi?"

"Edward, the Volturi don't just go wandering across America. Besides, Danny's a smart girl. She heard Tanya's advice. She's not going to wander into Italy on a whim." I hated it even more when Carlisle made sense. I sighed.

"But, right now, Danny's not my main concern, Edward. It's you."

"Me?!"

"Yes. Edward, you've been moping around the house for weeks. Are you grieving for Bella?" I thought about the question carefully.

"Who else should I be grieving for?" There, that was the truth. There really wasn't anyone else I _should_ be worried about. Now, people I _shouldn't_ be worried about, that was another matter.

"Edward, you made a decision."

"I know, Carlisle."

"Did you change your mind?"

"No." But Carlisle caught that split second of hesitation before my answer. He sighed.

"You're confused."

"Jasper?"

"No, it's obvious." I groaned. Great.

"Look Edward. You—"

"I _know_, Carlisle. You think I haven't thought about this at all, that I haven't been hating myself for thinking these—?" I broke off, unable to continue. There was silence. Then,

"Edward. You're a good person. I know that for a fact. But sometimes, you let your ideas about what's right get the best of you. You should know there's not always a right answer. The world's not black and white, Edward." He sighed.

"So tell me, what do you want, Edward?" That was the problem. I didn't know what I want. Or rather, I knew only too well what I wanted, but what I wanted wasn't what I _should _want.

"I don't know Carlisle."

"Maybe, then… Danny leaving was for the best. Maybe you need some time alone as well, Edward." I took a deep breath. Carlisle was right. He always was. Perhaps this separation was for the better, give me a chance to sort out my tangled thoughts and feelings.

"You're right, Carlisle, as always. I'll stay."

"I know you'll make the best decision, Edward, whatever it is."

"Thanks, Carlisle." He trusted me so much. I didn't deserve it. I left his office. I was going to stay and I steeled myself to do so. Staying away from her was just so _hard._ I gritted my teeth. But I'll do it. I swear I will. But first… I have to make sure at least that she was all right. I had to know what she was going to do. She had nothing, no money, no possessions… It wasn't right to just let her go off with nothing… or at least that was what I was trying to convince myself. I just had to hear her voice one last time, to really know that she was there, I told myself. I wavered near the doorway, indecision tensing my muscles, then, my need won out and I ran into the darkness. I didn't know which way I was going, but my heart pushed me towards the north and soon, I found that scent that I hadn't smelled in four months and I breathed in deeply, hit by it just as deeply as I had the first time. I ran after the trail. It was while and I grew worried. _Where was she?_

I jumped when a familiar frustrated voice answered me.

_I thought I told Tanya to tell you guys not to come after me!_

I thought, surprised, _you can hear me? _She was surprised as well.

_Yeah, I guess I can…_

_How? I can't hear your footsteps, which means that there should be no way that you can hear me, or that I can hear you._

_Who do you think I am? God? I don't KNOW!_

_Well, whatever, I'm not looking for you to bring you back._

_You're not?_ She was surprised again, but this time, there was a subtle note of sadness in her voice that I couldn't figure out.

_I'm not sad. _She was vehement this time. I guess she heard what I was thinking.

_I can see how this is annoying now._

_Mm-hmm. Now really. WHY are you following me._

_I need to know what you're going to do. Really Danny, what are you expecting? You don't have money, you don't have _anything_. I can't let you go off by yourself like that. That's almost criminal negligence. _There was such a long silence on the other end that I grew worried.

_Danny?_ The answer came back, frustrated and puzzled.

_I can't understand you Edward. Why do you _care_ about what happens to me. You hate me. _I was shocked. She thought I hated her? What the fuck?

_I don't hate you, Danny._

_Well, you certainly fooled me._

_Look Danny, I didn't come here to fight. What are you going to do? _She sighed.

_Didn't Tanya tell you? I'm picking up where I left off. I'm going back to school._

_And how are you going to do that?_

_Simple, I'll forge some documents. _

_You don't know any one who does that._

_I'll find someone, Edward! I may be weak, but I'm not stupid. _Weak? What did she mean by weak?

_Never mind what I mean by weak Edward. Just… just… go home, okay? Please._ There was a note of vulnerability in her voice, as if she was wearing out her quota for the day, what for, I didn't know.

_Simon and Sons._

_What?_

_Simon and Sons. They're a good forging service. They're located in Maine. South 21__st__ St, Augusta. Oh, and watch stocks for Hirz. They're going to go up a lot in the next year. _

_Alice?_

_Who else?_

_I'll make my money my own way, thank you._

_Just an idea._

_Okay, Edward, whatever. But please, just leave me alone._ Again, that note of vulnerability. There was also some confusion in her voice, as if, like me, she wasn't really sure of herself.

_Okay._

_Don't try to read my mind. I'll be blocking you. _

_I'll be too far away to hear. _

_You're supposed to be too far away now. _Oh, that's true.

_Fine._

_I don't… okay, fine. _I wondered what she was going to say.

_Bye Edward._

_Bye Danny. _I stopped my run. I was going to stick by my promise.

_Edward?_

_Yeah?_

_Thanks._ I was surprised, yet again.

_No problem._

_And Edward?_

_Yeah?_

_I'm sorry about Bella. _There was pain in her voice now. I wanted to erase it. But, I couldn't. Stupid promise.

_You just take care of yourself Danny._ And just like that, there was silence. She was gone. I stood there in the dark for a second, a part of me hoping that if I waited long enough, she would suddenly appear in front of me. Then, when the first rays of sunlight brightened the sky, I knew she wasn't coming back. I trudged back home, fighting against the urge to race after her, feeling more alone than I had ever felt before.

**Hey you guys! Sorry it took me so long to update, but I had so much writer's block with this particular chapter, mainly with Edward. But anyways, REVIEW and tell me how I did!**

**LOVE**

**Starrytwilightgirl**


	24. Chapter 24 Professor?

_Lights go out and I can't be saved  
Tides that I tried to swim against  
You've put me down upon my knees  
Oh I beg, I beg and plead (singing)  
Come out of things unsaid, shoot an apple off my head (and a)  
Trouble that can't be named, tigers waiting to be tamed (singing)  
You are, you are_

Confusion never stops, closing walls and ticking clocks (gonna)  
Come back and take you home, I could not stop, that you now know (singing)  
Come out upon my seas, curse missed opportunities (am I)  
A part of the cure, or am I part of the disease (singing)

"Clocks"

Coldplay

_Fifteen years later… 2021_

DPOV

I tapped my pencil against the heavy medical textbook I was supposed to be studying. Studying never took me long. All I had to do was glance at the information on the page and I remembered everything. I supposed it came with my new vamp powers. Still, I couldn't concentrate.

It had been fifteen years since I had left Washington, fifteen years since I last heard that voice that always melted me like butter… I shook my head. _No, you promised yourself that you wouldn't think about him_.

For ten of the last fifteen years, I had been working days and nights at various places: daytimes at libraries and bookstores and nighttimes at local clubs and nightlife hotspots. I loved working at the libraries, where I was once again surrounded by books, books containing all the myriad problems that a hero or heroine had so I wouldn't have to think about my own. I hated waitressing the night clubs though. The men were always so perverted and there was never a night when someone didn't try to feel me up, but I was always too fast for them and besides, it paid a lot more money. I was fine for those years, rattling along and holing up the money I had earned, putting my savings in a bank. I also wrote articles for a daily newspaper, bringing in a bit more money that way and performed a myriad of other tasks. Then, I finally had enough savings for a decent college fund and, going to the company that _he_ had suggested, forged all the necessary documents to apply. And after five years, here I was, a first-year graduate student, with nothing to do anymore at nights besides study and try to keep my mind off of him.

It never worked.

I sighed and rolled the pencil in my fingers, slowly crushing it to a pile of wood shavings. I pushed the shavings off my desk into a trash can that held the remains of the 500 other pencils that I had destroyed in the same way. I pulled another pencil out and sharpened it. I glanced down at the text but it wouldn't go through my mind. I looked at the clock; it was eight on a Friday night. I could hear the girls in the apartment next to mine chatter excitedly as they prepared for their dates…

"I'm so psyched! Josh seems really cute and guess what! He got his residency early! So he's practically a doctor now!"

"Really? That's amazing. I've always wanted to marry a doctor…"

"I know, right?" The giggles wafted into my room, putting me into an even fouler mood. _What a bunch of air-headed little…_ A quieter voice spoke up…

"Speaking of marriage…I have some news."

"What?" The other girls said excitedly.

"Bryan proposed yesterday." There were squeals of delight and a scream of alarm as the others apparently jumped on the poor girl. I felt kind of bad for her. From all of the nights I had sat and listened in, determined to find _something_ to do, she seemed the better of the bunch.

"What! How?"

"Well, while he was working on one of his cars, he asked me to grab a monkey wrench from the toolbox for him. And, I looked through the drawers but I couldn't find it. So I asked him where it was. And he told me the second drawer down and when I opened it, there was a ring, nestled in one of the slots for screwdrivers and when I turned around, there he was, on one knee, proposing…" The others oohed and ahhed…

"Let's see the ring!" There was a pause as the others looked at the object. Curious as to what the silence was about, I looked into their minds and saw the cause. In their opinion, the ring was too small. I scoffed at their shallowness.

"Well, it's… it's very nice…" One of them finally said.

"Well, Bryan is still trying to work his way through college…"

"That's right, he's a mechanic, right?" There was a hint of condescension in that nasally voice that infuriated me.

"Yes, and he's very good at what he does," the quiet girl said stubbornly. I smiled. _Good for you_. The others changed the subject, obviously uncomfortable now. I shook my head at the superficiality of some of the girls here. I would have to send that girl a gift of some kind. God knows she deserved it with friends like those… You should just be glad that you love someone who loves you back, no matter what they do. And this returned me back to my former thoughts. I groaned and lay my head down on the desk, eyes closing sleeplessly. If there was one thing that I hated about vampirism, it was the perpetual insomnia. Every night, I wished that I could just fall into unconsciousness like everyone else and forget about my troubles for a while. That would be nice…

I looked at the framed picture of my parents on my desk. Someone, Alice, I presumed, had sent it to me seven years ago, scaring me half to death. I wondered, and still wonder, how she knew where I was. She wasn't supposed to be able to see me. I made sure of all that by blocking her gift. I still skipped town in a hurry after that, just in case, but I took the picture. I would have to thank Alice when I see her again, if I see her again.

I frowned. I had been meaning to visit my parents. Well, not _visit_ visit, but just to check and see how they are doing. I've never really thought about it again until now. I looked at the clock. 8:30. _Well, it's not like there's anything else I can do…_I grabbed my jacket and zoomed out the door.

I jogged outside, closing the apartment door, and headed towards the direction of Massachusetts, towards my parents' home. I breathed in deeply as the breeze whipped over my skin. Soon, I arrived in that familiar neighborhood of houses, streetlamps lighting the sidewalks with a comforting yellow glow.

I headed towards 4919 Magnolia and stood outside the house for a few minutes, taking in the old trees and windows that I knew so well. A light was on in the kitchen area and I moved towards it. The window got closer as I sneaked up and peeked in, hoping to see my mom or dad washing the dishes or cleaning up the table, the old familiar post dinner routine. But, it wasn't my mom I saw… it wasn't my dad… it was a boy that I didn't know at all. And besides that, the whole house was different. The kitchen walls were a different color now, and new, unfamiliar pictures of an unfamiliar family hung on the walls. I frowned. Maybe they'd moved…

I streaked back to the front of the house and rang the doorbell. I was determined to see my parents today. I waited for three seconds, tapping my foot impatiently as the boy inside came to get the door. I had never realized how slow the human race was before I left it. Finally, finally, the door opened and I came face to face with the boy in the kitchen.

"Hi. Can I help you?" He asked, squinting. I noticed where I was standing and quickly stepped out of the shadows and into the light. His eyes widened as he took in my pale, hard skin. I ignored the stare. I was used to it by now…

"Hi. I was wondering… Does the Rory family still live here?"

"Um… sorry?" He asked, eyes travelling down the length of my body. I scrutinized him. He seemed about seventeen or eighteen. I rolled my eyes. Figures.

"Does the Rory family still live here?" I repeated, letting my impatience color my voice now. His head snapped up.

"The Rory family? No. They haven't lived here for years. I'm sorry, but who are you?"

"An old family friend."

"Why, then you should know that they haven't been here for more than seven years."

"I'm estranged."

"Oh, well… in that case…" He shifted his weight uncomfortably. I was starting to get irritated.

"Look, are you going to tell me where they are or not?" He glanced at me, apparently trying to decide what to do. Right when I was about to completely explode, he said,

"Yes. But come on in. You're going to want to sit down."

"What?"

"Just come in."

"Didn't your parents ever tell you not to let strangers in?"

"I'm sure they'd make an exception in this case. Besides, it's not like you're that much older than I am." _Au contraire mon frère_, I thought. But I sighed and stepped into the house, hearing the door close behind me. Homesickness and other emotions welled up inside of me as I glanced around the familiar living room that wasn't so familiar anymore. They had repapered the walls and replaced the furniture. Gone were the family portraits of my mom, my dad, and me. Gone was the crappy, old, but dearly beloved piano that I used to play. Everything was familiar, but so strange at the same time. I stared for a while before the boy's worried glance broke me out of my trance.

"Aren't you going to sit down?"

"Aren't you going to tell me where they are?"

"Yes. But, please, sit down."

"No, tell me where they are."

The boy let out a sigh. "I'm sorry you have to hear it this way, but Mr. and Mrs. Rory passed away a bit more than seven years ago. It was all very tragic. The whole neighborhood was talking about it when it happened. They were very prominent people in their community."

I stared at him, not comprehending the words that were coming out of his mouth. _No, I refuse to believe this…_

"What do you mean?"

"Mr. Rory died from a heart attack and Mrs. Rory followed him maybe half a year later. They don't really know why she died. It seemed that her heart just chose to stop beating." I blinked as the information finally sunk in. The boy was still talking, but I couldn't hear him. I was too wrapped up in my own thoughts. The scars on my heart reopened again and the wounds bled afresh. They were dead. Like Bella. Like Jacob. Dead.

"But everyone says that that's not really the reason why they died." My head snapped up as this sentence broke through my trance.

"What?" I breathed.

"Everyone else besides the doctors and the police know that they didn't die from heart attacks."

"Then what was it?" My mind raced through the possibilities.

"They say Mr. Rory and his wife died from a broken heart." I stared. He continued, obviously taking my horror for interest.

"You see, the Rory's had a beautiful daughter. Or that's what they said. I've never seen her. I was only eleven when it happened. But she was supposed to be one of the most beautiful girls on the street. She was smart too. She had it going for her, valedictorian of her high school, going to an Ivy League college… But then, her cousin was going to get married, so she flew over to Washington to help her get ready. But, days before the wedding, the cousin was shot during a bank robbery. They were best friends, so the daughter was besieged with grief. Well, one day, she went for a walk in the woods and just disappeared. Like that." He snapped his fingers.

"They looked for her everywhere. But they never found her body. Soon it was assumed that she died or was eaten by a bear or something and the case grew cold. A year later, the authorities confirmed her as dead. The parents were devastated. They never went out to social functions anymore and basically kept to themselves. The death of their niece and their daughter proved to be too much for them, I guess, and they just… I don't know… I guess they just passed away." He trailed off. I couldn't move. I was completely frozen to the edge of the sofa that I was perched on. Years seemed to pass me by, years where I could have seen their faces one last time, or at least show them _something_, show them that I was okay. Now, I couldn't do anything anymore.

"Miss? Excuse me? Are you okay? Look, I'm terribly sorry about this whole thing, but… Miss? Hello?" The boy's sandy head moved back and forth across my line of vision.

"Where are they?" I managed to choke out.

"What do you mean? I just told you…"

"No, I meant where are they buried?"

"The Rosewillow Cemetery. Do you want dir--" But I didn't hear the rest of what he said because I was already gone. I knew where it was. I rushed towards the landmark, the night air seeming more oppressive now. I got to the gates of the cemetery and stopped, bent over, gasping as the roiling emotion inside my heart threatened to crush me. I heaved myself over the locked gates and scanned the graveyard, finally finding the newer looking markers, on which were clearly inscribed the words David Rory and Emily Rory. I zoomed over to the markers under the willow tree and sank to my knees on the cold hard ground, not caring that the dirt was ruining one of the only three pairs of jeans I owned. I gripped my sides as tearless sobs threatened to rip themselves out of me. I couldn't help but wonder what more the world could take from me. Hadn't I suffered enough? Or was there more? Was this all my fault? Punishment for my sins? I sat there in the dark for a long time, trying to force back the wail of anguish that was bubbling up from inside. But as I sat there, one thing became clear… I would have to keep away from everything that I loved, because I would only be a danger to them. As daylight broke, I got up, brushing off my jeans and started back home, this new resolution bouncing around in my head.

_Fifty years later…2071_

I streaked as fast as I could without attracting notice across the sunny campus green toward the science building.

"Crapcrapcrapcrapcrap…" I muttered. I was late for my class. Again. I had been conducting research in the lab, which was, just my luck, the farthest building away from the science building, and had lost track of time. I had already figured out how to stop sparkling in the sun, which was rather necessary if you lived anywhere else but Forks, and now I was trying to study vampirism as a disease. I'd first noticed the similarities when I was researching the Ebola virus and now I was hooked on trying to solve the nuts and bolts of how vampirism worked. But I shook these thoughts out of my head as I was already on thin water with the rest of the staff for being so young. Being late was not an option.

I had been working as a professor for the last forty years, occasionally switching schools to avoid attracting notice to my lack of aging. This was the most recent school I taught at… I'd just gotten the job a year ago. And it was a hard fought for job at that. Because of my youthful appearance, I always had a hard time convincing the school that I was knowledgeable enough to teach. But I'd always managed to convince them when they discovered that I knew more about biomedicine than all the other professors and Ph.D.'s combined. Of course, after convincing the school, I had to convince my students too. I chuckled in amusement as I reflected back to my first day teaching here….

_I walked into the classroom and looked around at the commotion all around me. Students were settling in, powering on their laptops and chatting with each other. I took a deep breath, preparing myself for the day's lesson when I was interrupted by a boy's voice. _

_"Well hey there good-looking! Today's your lucky day, because I saved a spot for you, right next to Papa." He smirked smugly and patted the empty seat next to his. Brenton Worthington III, I recognized, from the roll I memorized the night before. I raised an eyebrow, but otherwise ignored him. Still, he continued undeterred._

_"So are you nervous for this class? I heard it was killer. But don't worry. I'm a pro at this stuff. Feel free to ask for help. I'll tutor you, anytime, anywhere. In fact, why don't you give me your number, so I know how to contact you?" I was irritated now. I hate when no-nothings pretended to know everything. What was that saying again? Those who think they know everything annoy those who do?_

_"Alright then. Why don't you help me out a bit now?" He looked eager to help._

_"Shoot. I bet I can answer any question you throw at me." _Hmmm…_ I thought,_ I'm gonna have fun with this one.

_"Okay. Tell me, from where do you purify a serum thyroid hormone reducing factor?"_ _His smile slid off his face like rotten eggs down a wall. _

_"Well, do you know or not?"_

_"That's easy. From the thyroid gland… right?"_

_"No. Serum thyroid hormone reducing factors are purified from the __soluble cytosol fraction of Walker 256 carcinoma cells." He stared at me, mouth open and gaping like a fish. It was my turn to smirk this time. I strode to the digital board and grabbed a marker, writing the words "Biological Factors" on the board and underlining it. _

_"Which brings us to our lesson today, Mr. Worthington. Hopefully you will learn something from it." _

"_Y-you're the _professor_?" the boy asked. Ignoring him again, _I_ turned to face the class._

_"Settle down now. My name is Dr. Rory and this is Biomedicine 101. Anyone who does not wish to be here is free to leave at this time. Anyone? No? Well then, you now are all my prisoners for the next two hours. Now… biological factors…" Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a hand raised. Julie Cath, I recognized._

_"Yes, Ms. Cath?"_

_"This is a joke, right? I mean, you can't seriously be a professor here. You're about as old as we are. Where is Dr. Rory?" I sighed. My patience wasn't the biggest in the world. The only reason I had taken this job was to have access to the research materials the university had. I walked up to her desk._

_"Contrary to popular belief it seems, I AM Dr. Rory. I'm sorry to burst your bubble. I'm sure you were expecting a quirky gray-haired little old lady with whom you can get away with anything and everything. However I can assure you that I am not that and please drop your phone Mr. Knox, we are in class right now." I heard the clatter of a phone on the floor as the culprit jumped and blushed. _

_"Furthermore, I can further assure you that I am more than qualified to teach a gaggle of little ignoramus like you, and, if you have any further concerns, I suggest you take it up with the head of the science department, Dr. Rost. Now do you have any further questions, Ms. Cath?" I was now face to face with her. She shrunk against the chair and whispered, clearly intimidated,_

_"No, ma'am."_

_"Good. Anyone else have a question over my age and/or qualifications?" The class shook their heads in unison, a bit shell-shocked. I sighed. These students were all the cream of the crop, the best and the brightest, but they were still ignorant teenagers. I could only hope that I wasn't like that some sixty years ago. _

_"Good. Now on to the lesson…" _

I burst through the doors of the classroom, finding the students already sitting and waiting there.

"I'm sorry, class. I got caught up in the lab."

"That's okay, Dr. Rory. We understand." It was little Michelle Wright, one of the few people who didn't seem frightened of me. I smiled at her. Although I'd never admit it, I'd learned to grow fond of my students over the years, even though they could be annoying little nits.

"Thank you. Now, today's lesson…" And I turned on the digital screen and began to lecture. The time passed and after two hours, I dismissed the class for lunch. I gathered my papers as the students talked amongst themselves while they gathered up their belongings. I heard the approach of four pairs of feet and looked up. It was Michelle and some of her less-likeable friends, who looked rather nervous.

"What can I do for you, Michelle?"

"It's Valentine's Day, Dr. Rory." I frowned. It was? I'd forgotten. I rarely kept track of the dates anymore.

"Yes?"

"Well, we made you a card." And a large pink construction paper heart edged with lace was stuck under my nose. Across it written in glitter was "Happy Valentine's Day, Dr. Rory. We love you." I was temporarily distracted by the sweetness of the unexpected gesture.

"Why, thank you." I said, surprised.

"Are you doing anything tonight, Ms. Rory?"

"No, why? Did you not understand the lesson?"

"You don't have anyone to spend Valentine's Day with? No boyfriend? No husband?" I frowned. This was getting a little too personal.

"What are you getting at, Michelle? That wasn't really an appropriate question to ask," I said, my voice sharper with her than usual. Her face fell a little.

"I'm sorry. It's just that… well… some of my friends and I, well, we're all single, and we decided that instead of sitting around and moping, we'd have a girls night. Dinner and some shopping. And we were wondering if you'd like to join us." I blinked. Then, I regained my senses.

"No, I'm sorry Michelle. I still need to work on my research."

"Oh, all right then. Well, happy Valentine's Day."

"Yeah, you too." I murmured. As they walked away, I heard her friends whisper,

"You see? I told you she wouldn't agree. She's just a regular, cold-hearted bitch."

"Shh… not so loud! Besides, I don't believe that. I feel kind of sorry for her. Have you noticed that there's no pictures on her wall of her family, of any sisters or boyfriend or husband? I think she's lonely. I don't think she has anyone to care for her. And everyone needs someone." Michelle argued.

"Ha! That's not surprising. She seems like the type that pushes everyone away. We all know that Dr. Bennigan next door has had a crush on her for, like, ever. And it's not like he's ugly or anything. He's pretty cute. But has she ever even looked at him? No. Has she ever said a nice word to him? No. She never talks to anyone. She rejects all his pathetic attempts at flirting. She's going to die sad and alone." _Ha, I wish. It's better dying sad and alone than living forever sad and alone_, I thought.

"I don't believe that…" Michelle began again. Finally, mercifully, the door closed on their conversation. I burrowed my head into my arms, trying to suppress the emotions that were welling up. Michelle was way too perceptive for her age. Her friends were right, though. I _did_ push everyone away, but not for the reasons she believed. Countless guys have hit on me over the years, but I'd never paid much attention to them, never let myself. First of all, there was the promise I had made myself that night in the Rosewillow Cemetery. I wasn't about to break that. Second of all, I never could let anyone touch me, not after what had happened with Jacob. Every handshake, every stray touch, had me panicked. Third, my heart was already gone. It was lost, in the hands of someone it shouldn't, in a relationship that could never be. Maybe, I thought, maybe, there was something genetically wrong with me. Maybe I wasn't fit, maybe I wasn't made, to be loved. I pressed my fists against my eyes. I needed to get out of here.

Leaving the papers spread out across my desk, I grabbed my jacket and left the building, heading towards Central Park. Weaving in between the crowds in Manhattan, I finally managed to get to that green oasis in the middle of the city, where I often went to clear my head. I stayed away from the zoo though, as people would begin to notice when the animals started going nuts where ever I went. I strolled down the walkway, looking at the greenery around me. But today, something else distracted me. I stared. Had everyone here always been in pairs? Everywhere I looked were couples, kissing and hugging and snuggling. I wanted to scream in frustration. Someone was out to punish me today. This was worse than tying me to a stake and setting me on fire. I growled and broke into a jog, staring straight ahead, and turned into a deserted walkway, where there weren't as many people, or, thank God, couples. I slowed again to a walk, letting the sunlight seep through my eyelids, warming my frigid skin. I sighed. I loved the sun, but I knew that no matter how long I stood outside, it would never penetrate deep enough to melt the ice inside. I opened my eyes and a sparkling object underneath a bench five hundred feet away caught my eye. _What is that?_ As I got closer, I could see clearly what it was. It was a person, or vampire rather, under the bench and I gasped. I rushed to the bench and bent down, trying to shield the sparkling body from view.

"Are you _crazy_?" I hissed, "What if someone sees you?" The vampire's head jerked up, looking at me in surprise.

"You can _see _me?" He asked, his voice tinged by a distinct British accent. I stared at him.

"You _are_ crazy! Of course I can see you. What the hell are you talking about?"

"You're not supposed to see me. I'm supposed to be _invisible_!" He sounded frantic. I continued staring at him for a while before finally understanding.

"Oh! That's your gift, is it?"

"It's supposed to be. So how come _you_ can see me?"

"Uh… natural immunity…" I quickly amended, remembering what Tanya and them had advised me. I looked at him skeptically.

"Are you _sure_ no one can see you?"

"Well, I _was_. Now, I don't know what I'm sure of. Thanks a lot." Just then, a jogger jogged right past us, giving me a quick smile as she went past. I stared. She didn't seem fazed by the glittering vampire that I could see. Huh.

"You're not one like me, are you?" The creature under the bench broke my thoughts. I looked back.

"Huh?"

"You're not sparkling, like me."

"Sunscreen."

"Huh?"

"Never mind. I can sparkle when I want to."

He looked at me suspiciously. "Your eyes are green, not gold or red. What do you drink?"

I looked at him, irritated with the barrage of questions. What, did he really think that after more than half a century of building walls I was going to knock them down for _him_?!

"That's none of your business!" I snapped.

"You're not a vampire."

I slapped him. Hard. The ringing noise echoed throughout the park.

"Do you believe me now?"

He rubbed his cheek, glaring at me indignantly, "Yes, but you didn't have to do _that_!"

"Whatever, but just go sit in the shade or something. You're making me nervous."

"Who just said mind your own business? Now leave me alone." He returned to his supine position underneath the bench.

I looked at him for a few moments. Ordinarily, I would have just left. Why should I care about some crazy man intent on rotting away under a bench? But something about him struck very, no, too, close to home. Images of ice and darkness swept into my head, like a chilling breeze and I shuddered. I couldn't leave him here. Tanya didn't leave me. I sighed and sat next to the bench for a few moments, the slight breeze ruffling my hair.

"So why are you under the bench?"

"Mind your own effing business."

"Look, I'm trying to help you."

"Maybe I don't want help."

"Everyone wants help," I said quietly.

"And you don't, I suppose?"

I thought about this for a moment. "I don't know. Maybe I do." He looked up at me, his curls of brown hair falling into his eyes.

"You?! What kind of problems would a beautiful girl like you have? Please." He scoffed.

"More than you know. Not that I'd ever tell you."

"Oh! Un-huh. Right. As in, oh my god, I don't know what I'm going to wear tonight for my special date. Please. I've dressed your type before," he imitated mockingly, snickering as he did so. I glared at him.

"Does it _look_ like I really care about what I wear?"

He looked down at my faded blue jeans and university tee.

"Unfortunately for you darling, no."

I sighed. There was a pause, as I watched the wind ripple the grass in waves across the lawn.

"You should wear more green. Play up your eyes."

I rolled the mentioned eyes. As if I really cared anymore. I only took care with what I wore when the department head chastised me for dressing too casually for class.

"Look, can you _please_ move so I can go on my way?" I was begging now. This was bringing to the surface memories that I really didn't want to remember.

"If you want to go, just go."

"I _can't_," I growled in frustration. Damn ethics. I sighed, at the end of my rope now. "Please?"

He looked at me, "You are _really_ messed up aren't you? I can see it in your eyes." I jumped back as if a snake had bitten me.

"What are you talking about," I snapped, his comment like a knife to my heart, "I'm not the one lying under a bench."

"Woah! Cool your jets, old trout. I didn't mean anything by it."

I raised my eyebrows. _Old trout?_

He sighed, "Look if you really want me to go, then fine." He crawled out from under the bench and stood up, "There, you see? Happy now?"

"Immensely. Do you have anywhere to go? Or are you just going to crawl back under that bench as soon as my back is turned?"

"Had. I got evicted."

"For…?"

"Apparently, they don't let you bring in dead animal carcasses into the apartment building."

I stared. Finally, I blinked a couple of times and regained control of my mind.

"Do you have any money? To like, rent a hotel room or something?"

"No."

I sighed. Great. Just great. Could this day get any worse? "Well… I guess you can stay with me, until you find someplace to go. I'm not just going to sit by and let you risk exposure."

"You don't have to do that if you don't want to. I promise I won't lie out in the open again."

"Oh, no no. I _want _to," I said, forcing a smile at him that seemed more like a grimace, "Now come on…" _Before I change my mind,_ I added to myself.

"If you say so."

I walked with him back the way I came, the babbling of voices getting clearer every second.

"You're still invisible right?" I asked, glancing at the reflections his skin was throwing off.

"No."

"What?!" I said, panicking. There were so many people ahead. Someone was bound to see him…

"Calm down. I'm just kidding!"

"Not funny," I growled. We disappeared into the crowds of people, hurrying back after their lunch hour. We soon got back to my apartment near the university. I opened the door and let him in, glancing at the clock worriedly. Crap, I was going to be late again.

"Stay here," I told him, "I have to go. I'm going to be late for class."

"You're a college student?"

"No, professor," I looked around hurriedly for my papers, but remembered that I had left them in the classroom. No need to bring them. "Look. Use the phone, find a job, do whatever you want, but I have to go." And before he could speak, I rushed out the door.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I headed back to my room, clutching my lesson plans in my hands. Even though I was a vampire and technically inexhaustible, trying to get the little toads to understand anything about biomedicine was mentally taxing. I jammed the key into my door and opened it. I dumped the plans on top of my desk and preceded to my bedroom… what was that smell…?

"AHHHHH!!!" I shrieked, as I saw the vampire from this afternoon emerging from my closet. I had completely forgotten about him.

"Hello. You know, on a scale from 1 to 10, I would say that your closet ranks about a negative five," he looked at the decades old pieces of clothing I had, "hmm… maybe lower."

"WHAT are you DOING here?" I shrieked.

He looked at me, surprised, "You invited me here."

"NO! I mean, in my closet!" I grabbed the shirt he was holding and hurled it back into the closet, slamming the door closed, "I said you could use the phone! Not go all What-Not-To-Wear on me!"

"I'm sorry, but you really need to update your closet. Remember what I said about the green? Besides, you did say I could do whatever I want."

I glared at him, too angry to speak now.

"You're angry. But that's okay; I found a job. I can go now."

I closed my eyes. I was being horrible, I knew it. This guy had no place to stay. And besides, it was time for me to do something good for once.

"No. Stay. Really. Just until you get your own place. I'm sorry I blew up on you like that."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," I said, through gritted teeth.

"Thanks. Hey, you keep _blood_ in your refrigerator?"

I concentrated on keeping my temper as I wondered what else he had gone through.

"You may have noticed there aren't a lot of forests with animals around here. So I store the blood I catch, so I'll only have to go hunt once every other month instead of every month."

"Oh, that's smart. I'd never thought of that…" We lapsed into a silence.

"Look, I'm sorry for being such a bugger. I was razzing you about your problems, but I have my own problems too."

"No, no, that's fine," I said, starting to edge toward my lab notes, hoping he'll get the hint. He didn't.

"I'm Nick Cartell, by the way." He stretched out his hand and I looked from it to his face apprehensively. I had always maintained a rule of no contact. He had a slight smile on his face, but it wasn't like the millions of other smiles I'd encountered. He didn't look at me as a prize to be won over, as an easily overpowered weakling, but as an equal and I missed that. Not since… well, I wouldn't think of that. Making up my mind to maybe exorcise some demons, I firmly grasped his hand and shook it, surprised that I didn't feel the usual recoil and fear.

"Danny."

"Pleased to meet you, Danny."

"You, too," I said, and effectively ended the conversation by turning to my lab notes.

**Hmm… so. Will this be the start of a beautiful friendship? Or something more…? Will Edward be forgotten? evil cackle Haha. Wow. Now all that's left to be said is "On the next episode of…" Anyways, hope you all had a better Valentine's Day than Danny did! And don't forget about that little button on the bottom of the page that says review! It's begging to be clicked…**

**Love,**

**starrytwilightgirl**


	25. Chapter 25 Neurotics

**Hey everyone,**

**Okay, this is an important note. So, this chapter and the ones following are gonna take place WAY in the future. And, I know that a lot of things are going to change technology-wise, but I'm gonna keep most things the same. I really just can't bring myself to say, "And then Danny got into her new Nissan hovercraft..." NO. So, yeah. Enjoy!**

**-starrytwilightgirl**

_Hold on, baby, you're losing it  
The water's high, you're jumping into it  
And letting go... and no one knows  
You cry, but you don't tell anyone  
That you might not be the golden one  
And you're tied together with a smile  
But you're coming undone_

"Tied Together With a Smile"  
Taylor Swift

_Ten years later... 2077_

DPOV

I closed my eyes as I floated in the clear blue water of the pool. Nick was right. He nearly always was about almost everything. Getting the house with the pool _was_a good idea, even though Boston started getting cold around September or October. But, I loved floating now, and besides, since my internal body temperature was pretty cool by itself, not much felt cold to me. The only coldness I ever felt was from the inside, not the outisde.

We had moved from New York about five years ago. I was sad at first, because I liked New York. It was so busy, and it was easy to lose oneself in all the hustle and bustle, and I needed that, to lose myself. Now, the pool served as the substitue. Again, Nick was right. The pool was a good idea.

"Are you out in the pool _again_?" A voice broke into my thoughts. _Well, speak of the devil..._

"NO! Of course I'm not, you're just imagining me here," I replied sarcastically, rolling my eyes at him.

"Well, good. And here I thought I was going nuts," he jabbed back playfully. I laughed.

"Nick, you're already nuts." I screamed as he flicked water from the pool side into my face. In return, I absolutely drenched him with one swipe of my arm. He pouted.

"Aw... Danny! I just bought these!" He whined. I took a closer look at his new duds, which looked designer to me. Of course, I never could tell.

"Well, that's what you get," I said, with mock severity. Still muttering, he walked back inside to change. I sighed, shaking my head at his antics and resumed my peaceful floating.

I never would have thought that I would let Nick stay with me. And it wasn't as if I'd asked him to... he just wouldn't _leave_. I smiled as I thought of all his hare-brained excuses to stay before I'd finally figured out that he was never going to leave. At first, I was adamant that I was going to make him leave, because I found myself starting to really like him, maybe even love him, and good things never happened to the people I loved. But then, everything changed. My smile faded, and I grew serious as I remembered exactly why he wanted to stay. He was lonely. He needed someone. So, I decided that I might as well finally do some good, and make sure that at least he has someone who cares about him. My thoughts flashed back to that day when I discovered his secret...

_I furiously scrubbed the counters of the barely used kitchen, determined to make it so clean, that I would be able to see my face in it when I was done. I was cleaning a lot these days, not because I really wanted to or really needed to, but because it helped distract me from thinking about him. Nick tried to stop me from cleaning, thought it wasn't healthy, but I didn't listen. Of course it was healthy. I NEEDED this, to keep myself from just completely falling apart. Besides, he had no idea... Or rather, I think he suspects. He's asked me if I had a "mate" as he called it, and I simply looked around the house and raised an eyebrow at him, like "Does it look like I have one?" But I avoided him for the rest of the day, the old memories coming back to rip me asunder. I rubbed the sponge back and forth, back and forth... I was sure that I was finally losing my grip, it's been almost seventy years and I just couldn't take it anymore, I wanted to see him so much. It was so bad that I thought I could hear his voice sometimes, thought that he was with me. These things might have comforted me some, except for the fact that it only got a million times worse when it went away. My heart leapt everytime I saw even a glimpse of what looked like bronze hair. I slammed down the sponge, sick of myself and crouched down under the sink. The kitchen was done. If I scrubbed anymore, there wouldn't be any counter left to scrub later. I looked wildly around for something else to do. I had to keep busy... if I stopped, it would all come back again to pick me apart, piece by piece by piece. I finally spotted a duster and grabbed it, determined to leave not even a speck of dust on any surface. In a frenzy, I dusted the living room, the bathrooms, the office, my room. Finally, I strode into Nick's room, sneezing from all the dust I was sending up into the air and began dusting the drawers and the bedside table. I opened the drawer of the nightstand, intent on dusting every surface I could find, and stopped in surprise. _

_Lying in the drawer was a small, much worn oil painting. It looked really old, probably from the 15th or 16th century, and seemed a bit smudged with fingerprints. I carefully held it by the edges, not wanting to add to the fingerprints on the picture. It was obvious that this was very important to Nick, since he had looked at it so many times. I flipped it to the back and there, written in elegant script was a fading line, "To Nicholas" and nothing more. I flipped it right side up again and was about to put the picture back when something caught my eye. The young man in the picture was looking at the viewer with a very familiar expression, one that I had often seen on Bella's face and Edward's face when they were together, and also on Carlisle's and Esme's and Alice's and Jasper's and Rosalie's and Emmett's. It was love. Pure, true, unadulterated love that stung me like an angry hornet. I flipped the picture back over and studied the line more closely. It was an elegant script as I had noticed before, but what I saw now was that it was very carefully written, as if whoever wrote it had wanted it to be just perfect. I flicked the picture back again and looked at the man, the pieces starting to fit together... I shook my head. No, this was wrong. I shouldn't be going through Nick's personal things like this. Besides, I was jumping to conclusions. This man could be anyone... I was just about to put the picture back when..._

_"Danny? What are you doing?" Nick was standing at the doorway, a confused expression on his face._

_I gasped and whirled around, hiding the picture behind my back guiltily. _

_"Um... nothing. Just... dusting." _

_His eyes zeroed in on my hands behind my back._

_"What do you have there?"_

_"Uh..." I searched frantically for an excuse, but couldn't find one, so I took the picture from behind my back and offered it to him sheepishly, "I'm sorry Nick. I didn't mean to go through your stuff, but I was dusting and this picture was in the drawer, so I had to take it out and..." I was babbling. Nick blinked, then came forward and took the picture, looking at it._

_"Oh." He said. I studied his face, expecting him to be angry with me, but to my surprise, what I saw was a certain tenderness as he regarded the picture, and a small bit of pain. _

_"I really am sorry, Nick."_

_"It's alright, Danny." He still hadn't looked up at me._

_"Are you sure?" I asked, biting my lip._

_"Yes."_

_Hesitating, I opened my mouth to say something, but immediately closed it, deciding that there couldn't be anything more I could say. I turned to leave, but then stopped, the expression on Nick's face firmly plastered in my mind._

_"Nick?"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"Don't think I'm being rude or anything, but... is that...is that your..." I couldn't get the word out. It was such a personal question, and I hadn't been so close to someone in such a long time; my social skills were pretty much shot._

_"My lover, you mean?" His voice was suddenly harsh, as if in defense. I stepped back, a bit stung by his tone, although I probably deserved it for being such a prying little git. I nodded mutely._

_"Then, yes, he was." I didn't fail to catch the past tense of the verb and briefly wondered what had happened to the man in the picture, but decided not to ask. I was already prying. Nick was watching me now, a guarded expression on his face, as if he were waiting for judgement, as if he were expecting me to scream or yell. I looked back at him._

_"Aren't you going to chase me out? Call the police? Tell me that I disgust you and you never want to see me again?" My eyes widened, shocked. How could he ever think...? But then I remembered how old the painting was. People were a lot different back then. Homosexuality was almost as bad as murder. Nick probably HAD been kicked out for a lot of places. Seeing the forlorn expression on his face, my heart gave out a sore throb,_

_"No! Of course not!" I said reassuringly, "I would never do that. Look Nick, this, this doesn't change anything about you. I really don't care WHO you like. Men, women, whatever. You're still Nick, you'll always be Nick. That will NEVER change."_

_"Really?" He asked softly. And he looked so sad, yet so hopeful, that it broke my heart. What had this kid gone through? I thought. Because Nick really was like a kid. He was so childish in both words and actions that I found it hard to imagine how he ever managed to take care of himself. _

_"Really." I said firmly. And to tie it in, I walked up and did something that I hadn't done in more than half a century. I gave him a hug. I hesitated before I did so, hoping that I wouldn't freak and make Nick think that I didn't mean what I said, but I felt okay, and to my surprise, when I hugged him, I felt no fear. Maybe, I thought, maybe things will get better. I rested my head on Nick's shoulder._

_"Thanks, Danny." Nick whispered._

_"Anytime. I'm sorry for prying through your stuff. I really didn't mean it."_

_"That's okay. You were going to find out anyway. I mean, how many guys do you know that have as great of a style as I do? Admit it. If it weren't for me, you would still be living in sweats and ratty old t-shirts." _

It was true. If it weren't for Nick, I would have gone to work every day in the clothes I had worn twenty years ago, instead of the well-cut pencil skirts and blouses that he now forced me into every day.

"Aren't you going to be getting out soon, Danny? You're going to get all gross and wrinkly." Nick's voice interruped my thoughts again.

"I'm a vampire, Nick. I can't get wrinkly."

"You never know," Nick said, "and if you do turn into a great big prune, it'll be that much harder to get your skin to smooth out. Now com'on, outta the water!"

I stayed put.

"Your secret admirer is online."

"You've been looking through my computer again!" I accused. He shrugged.

"You're very interesting."

"Ha! And how many times do I have to tell you? He or she is not my secret admirer!"

"You mean, you don't even know if it's a man or a woman you're talking to?"

"No. I never thought to ask."

"What if they're an it?" He waggled his eyebrows at me. I groaned and splashed some water at his feet in warning. He jumped back, cursing.

"Don't Danny! I just changed!"

"Then stop asking me stupid questions!" Nevertheless, I got out of the pool and went inside the house to change, excited now that toomoodyforwords07 was online...

I had started participating in chat rooms after Nick kept badgering me to join. At first, it was vaguely annoying. All people seemed to want to talk about was the latest thing that Kylie Kingston, the Hollywood socialite had done. Nick had joined heartedly into the discussion of whether the micro-mini she'd worn the day before had been trashy or classy, but all I wanted to do was shoot myself (which wouldn't have done much good anyway). Then, one day, I decided to actually type something into the computer. In answer to someone's comment about the antics of a famous movie actor's son, I typed in, "By blood a king, in heart a clown." Half a second later, my screen became flooded with various versions of "Huh?" and "What" and even one especially rude one that said, "GET OFF THE FUCKING COMPUTER IF YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING THAT MAKES ANY SENSE!!!" Offended, I was just about to log off and swear never to log back on again, no matter how much Nick prodded me, when one solitary line popped up that caught my eye. All it asked was, "Tennyson?" Intrigued that someone actually understood the reference, I typed back, "Yes! My faith in humanity is restored." And I got a reply, "Don't be too elated. I don't exactly count myself as part of humanity." Pulled further in by this last comment, I kept typing, and before I knew it, hours had passed before we both finally logged off. This went on almost every day, ending when we reluctantly logged off, duties that we couldn't avoid calling to us. And Nick, as usual, was right. I stopped cleaning and the voices stopped as well. The anonymous person on the other end of the computer became an outlet for all my thoughts, all my frustrations. We bantered back and forth, teasing each other when the other got a reference wrong, bouncing ideas and philosophies and opinions off the other.

I flew down the stairs, flinging away the towel that I had used to dry my hair and sat down in front of the computer. Yup, the person was there. And almost as if he (or she?) knew that I was there, the window popped up.

**toomoodyforwords07 says: Hi. Are you there?**

**smartass18 says: Wow. Are you psychic or something? I just sat down.**

**toomoodyforwords07 says: I'm a good guesser.**

And we were at it again. Discussing politics, religion, anything and everything we could think of. The person said something funny, and I laughed. And then, I typed in something without thinking. It surprised me, but somehow, I knew it was the truth.

**smartass18 says: You know. It's strange.**

**toomoodyforwords07 says: What is?**

**smartass18 says: I feel like I know you from somewhere, even though we've never met.**

**toomoodyforwords07 says: Do you?**

And I thought. Do I? Do I really know this person? And Nick's words came back, pecking at me like annoying birds. He was right. I didn't really know anything about this person. But still.

**smartass18 says: I know you love music, and you love the Romantics, but can only tolerate Mozart. You're very well learned. And also...**

**toomoodyforwords07 says: What?**

**smartass18 says: You're confused about something. You're... ambiguous.**

**toomoodyforwords07 says: What makes you think that?**

**smartass18 says: I don't know. Just sometimes... the way you speak... it seems as if you're torn about something.**

**toomoodyforwords07 says: You got all that from my words?**

**smartass18 says: Well, yeah.**

There wasn't an answer. I waited for a few minutes.

**smartass18 says: I'm sorry. Did I offend you? I didn't mean to.**

**toomoodyforwords07 says: "Tis but a part we see, and not a whole."**

**smartass18 says: Alexander Pope?**

**toomoodyforwords07 says: You knew that?**

**smartass18 says: I read a lot of poetry. But Tennyson is still my favorite.**

**smartass18 says: So, am I right?**

**toomoodyforwords07 says: You don't know me.**

**smartass18 says: Then tell me.**

**smartass18 says: Come on. I have a profile. You know something about me. I know nothing about you. It's not fair.**

**toomoodyforwords07 says: What do you want to know?**

I thought of Nick's words.

**smartass18 says: Well, for starters, it would be nice to know who I'm talking to. Are you male or female?**

**toomoodyforwords07 says: I'm male.**

**smartass18 says: Okay, um, how old are you?**

**toomoodyforwords07 says: Seventeen.**

**smartass18 says: Seventeen! You're lying. You don't sound seventeen. **

**toomoodyforwords07 says: Well, I am. Technically. **

**smartass18 says: Technically.**

**toomoodyforwords07 says: Yes, technically. How old are you?**

**smartass18 says: I'm eighteen.**

**toomoodyforwords07 says: You don't sound eighteen.**

**smartass18 says: Shut up. Respect your elders.**

**toomoodyforwords07 says: :)**

I thought for a moment. Holy crap, I was talking to a _baby_. Because, compared to how old I was, he was much, much younger. But something told me that he wasn't really seventeen. At least, his mind wasn't seventeen. Seventeen years olds didn't talk this way, didn't know this much.

**toomoodyforwords07 says: You still there?**

**smartass18 says: Yeah. Just thinking...**

**toomoodyforwords07 says: Yeah?**

**smartass18 says: What's with your screen name? Toomoodyforwords?**

**toomoodyforwords07 says: My sister forced me to come here. She kept badgering me until I finally did so, but she was the one who created my user name. I suppose you could say it was revenge.**

**smartass18 says: And you didn't bother to change it?**

**toomoodyforwords07 says: No, she has it locked. I can't get in to change it.**

**smartass18 says: Haha. Wow. She has you cornered. **

**toomoodyforwords07 says: Okay, fine. What about you? Smartass?**

**smartass18 says: Same dilemma. Nick signed me up. I guess I am kind of a smart ass to him. He deserves it though, most of the time.**

**toomoodyforwords07 says: Nick is... your brother? Your friend? Your boyfriend?**

**smartass18 says: Nick is my friend.**

**toomoodyforwords07 says: Ah.**

**smartass18 says: What about you? Seventeen, right? You're in high school?**

**toomoodyforwords07 says: Unfortunately...**

**smartass18 says: I'm sorry. High school sucks.**

**toomoodyforwords07 says: And you're not?**

**smartass18 says: Nope! Jealous? :)**

**toomoodyforwords07 says: Immensely.**

**smartass18 says: Just one more year left to go though.**

**toomoodyforwords07 says: Sure.**

**smartass18 says: So... high school... Do you have a lot of friends?**

**toomoodyforwords07 says: I have four siblings. We're all friends.**

**smartass18 says: Wow. Close-knit family huh?**

**toomoodyforwords07 says: Very. **

**smartass18 says: Do you have a girlfriend?**

The answer came very quickly.

**toomoodyforwords07 says: NO**

**smartass18 says: ?**

**toomoodyforwords07 says: I'm sorry. It's just...**

**smartass18 says: What?**

**toomoodyforwords07 says: My girlfriend died.**

I stared at the screen. Those three little words, brought a wave a grief crashing down on my head, simply because his loss reminded me of my own.

**smartass18 says: Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause you any pain.**

**toomoodyforwords07 says: No, that's okay. I don't even know why I'm telling you all this.**

**smartass18 says: Do you regret it? Telling me, I mean?**

There was a pause. And then...

**toomoodyforwords07 says: Strangely, no.**

**smartass18 says: Good. Because I'm just going to ask you more.**

**toomoodyforwords07 says: You're insatiable.**

**smartass18 says: ;)**

**toomoodyforwords07 says: Do you really believe all I'm telling you? How do you know I'm not some creepy old coot out to get you?**

**smartass18 says: You aren't. I can tell. **

**toomoodyforwords07 says: How?**

**smartass18 says: I don't know. I just can.**

The alarm bell rang. I looked at it and groaned. Time for class again.

**smartass18 says: I'm sorry. I have to go. I'm going to be late for class.**

**toomoodyforwords07 says: College?**

**smartass18 says: Yes.**

**toomoodyforwords07 says: Have fun.**

**smartass18 says: Ha! Yeah.**

**toomoodyforwords07 says: Bye.**

**smartass18 says: Goodbye.**

And I logged off, head filled with all the things that he had told me. But before I went, I stuck my head into Nick's room, where he was flipping through the newest Vogue.

"Hey Nick!"

"Yeah."

"He's a he. Now you can't razz on me anymore for not knowing!"

He jumped up, "I knew it! A secret admirer!"

"Oh shove off Nick. He just lost his girlfriend!"

"Oh! That's perfect! So he's findng comfort in you! So he IS a secret admirer!"

"It doesn't work that way, Nick. People don't just move on like that. They shouldn't. Otherwise, what is love?" I said sadly.

"Of course they do Danny. Sometimes, people think it's love, but it's just a really strong friendship."

"Then tell me, what is love? Is it a hoax? A chemical phenomenon in the brain?"

"Of course not! Love is real! It's just that, sometimes, we don't see it for what it is."

"Right..." I whispered.

"You're upset."

"Who said I was upset?" I shot back, but I still turned away from him, not wanting him to see the desperation in my eyes.

"No one did. I can tell." I could feel his eyes on my back. The alarm bell rang again.

"Look Nick, I'm late. I'll talk to you later." And before he could say anything more, I ran out the door. _Stupid Nick_, I thought, _why did he have to take such a delicious moment of gloating and turn it into such a torture-fest?_

I arrived to class in a horrible mood, slamming the door as I went in.

"Sit down!" I snarled. The students, wide-eyed, scrambled for their seats.

"Someone's PMS-ing," I heard someone whisper from the back row. I slammed my binder down on my desk, and turned around to face him.

"Do you have anything else you'd like to add, Mr. Grim?"

"Yeah... how the hell did you hear me?"

I stared at him. Well... here was a brave one. I opened my mouth to tell him just where he could stick his comments, but thinking better of it (I'd rather keep my job), I snapped my mouth closed, and, taking a deep breath, began the lesson.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I walked to the parking lot from the science buidling. The wind blew my hair about my face, and irritated, I batted it away. I finally got to my car and got in, peeling out of the lot and starting the five-minute trip home. I finally realized why I was in such a bad mood the whole day. I kept having this nagging feeling that I had forgotten to do something. Exactly what it was, I didn't really know. I just felt that there was something I needed to do.

I got home, unlocked the door and kicked off my shoes. They hit the wall with a satisfying thunk, although taking a bit of plaster along with them. I bit my lip, wincing. _Guess I kicked too hard..._ I'd just have to fix it later. I turned around and there on the back of the door, was a note.

_Danny,_

_I had to go to Kirsten DeWitt's. Apparently, her chihuahua completely mauled_

_the dress that she was supposed to wear to the Black and White Ball tonight_

_and it's "absolutely positively indispensible" (her words, not mine) that I find her a replacement. _

_Listen, I'm sorry about this morning. __I really didn't mean to upset you. Forgive me?_

_-Nick_

_P.S. I'll be back by nine._

I turned the note over, and there on the back, Nick had drawn a little stick figure girl, with the generic triangle dress and the stick arms and legs. With red pen, he drawn drawn on long wavy curls and a smiling mouth and with a green pen, he'd drawn in eyes. Beside it were the words, BE HAPPY! I smiled. Nick was so silly, but he always cheered me up. I flipped the note back over and tucked it into my binder. Truth be told, I had completely forgotten about my beef with Nick this morning. The nagging feeling had made me forget all about it. And truth be told, I wasn't really mad at Nick, I was just mad at my own weaknesses.

I turned on the computer and logged onto the chat site. No, toomoodyforwords wasn't online. I sighed, looking around for something else to occupy my time. I spotted my book of poetry on the top shelf and grabbed it, flipping to a random page, and started to read the unique music of e. e. cummings. But it didn't distract me like it used to. I couldn't concentrate. My mind kept coming back to what I was forgetting. I put my chin in my hands, trying to think through what I had to do that I hadn't done. My book dangled from my hands, forgotten as the time passed and passed and passed. The door slammed.

"Danny?"

"In here!"

Nick came traipsing in, hanging up his jacket in the closet.

"Hey."

"Hey is for horsies," I repeated the old saying that my mother always said to me. Nick ignored it.

"Did you get my note?"

"Yeah."

"I'm really sorry, Danny. I didn't mean to--"

"I know, Nick. It's fine. I was being a bitch."

"You're never a bitch, Danny," he chuckled, "that's like a rabbit saying it's a wolf. You're just really prickly and sarcastic sometimes. But I guess that's just your wit coming through."

I didn't answer. I'd zoned out again.

"Danny?"

"Huh?"

"You're staring."

"Oh. I'm sorry. It's just that I had this feeling all day that I was forgetting something."

"Ha! I know what you mean. You know, tonight, when I went over to Kirsten's and fitted the replacement gown, she asked me, "So do you have my outfit for the rock concert tomorrow?" and I was like, "Huh?" and she was like, "The rock concert?" and I was like, "That's September the 13th right?" and she was like "Yeah. The thirteenth. Which is tomorrow..." and I was like oh my god..." Nick was still talking, but I had stopped listening. September the thirteenth...

"Oh. My. God."

"What?"

"Tomorrow."

"Yeah?"

"It's the thirteenth? Of September?"

"Yeah. And it's a Friday, too, if you're into superstitious stuff like that."

I blinked. I cannot believe I'd forgotten. That was the thing I had forgotten. Bella's birthday was tomorrow. I had always gotten her something for her birthday. Now, I never kept track of the dates anymore. I was a horrible friend. How could I have forgotten?

"I can't believe I forgot!"

"Forgot what?"

I didn't hear him. My mind was working. What could I do for her now? I thought, and finally, a lightbulb went on over my head. I carefully pulled Alice's gift out of the recesses of my mind, and dusting it off, checked to see that I wouldn't meet up with any problems. Nope, the coast was clear. They wouldn't know I was there. I put tucked it away again. I didn't like using the gifts I'd absorbed from others. It seemed wrong to me. But I was sure that Alice would make an exception in this case. It was imperative to my mental health that I didn't meet up with... well... yeah.

"Danny," Nick whined, he hated it when I left him out of stuff, "Forgot WHAT?!"

"Look, Nick, would you like to go on little trip with me?"

"Oooooookay. This is new. Why?"

"Never you mind. Now come on!" And I ran out the door, tossing the keys at him so he would lock up.

"Danny!"

"Come on, slowpoke!" I could hear him groan, and then, I heard the slam of the door, the quick turn of the key in the lock and the sound of running steps behind me, as I rushed towards the west.

**Hmm... soooo... what do you think's gonna happen? And who the hell is toomoodyforwords? **

**Reviewreviewreview!**

**~Starrytwilightgirl**


	26. Chapter 26 Misunderstanding

_What would you think of me now,  
so lucky, so strong, so proud?  
I never said thank you for that,  
now I'll never have a chance.  
May angels lead you in.  
Hear you me my friends.  
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.  
May angels lead you in._

"Hear You Me"

Jimmy Eat World

DPOV

The rays of the sun were just streaking across the tree-lined horizon when we crossed the Washington state border. I looked around all the greenery around me and felt a pang of remembrance. _Can I handle this…? Maybe this was a bad idea_, I thought. But no, I had to do this and I pushed forward determinately. We reached Seattle and I quickly found a home improvement store that opened early in the morning. I stopped by the doorway and told Nick to wait. He looked exasperated.

"Danny… what are we doing here?"

"Just wait here for me, Nick. Or come in. I don't care, whatever you want. This won't take long." And I ran through the aisles of the greenhouse, grabbing packets of flower seeds, a gallon of water, and all the flowers I could see: roses and lilies and daisies and wildflowers and lots and lots of freesias. I zipped to the cast register, making the sleepy looking checkout girl jump as I dumped my purchases onto the counter. She raised an eyebrow at all the flowers and at my windswept hair, but nevertheless started to scan the items without a word. I tapped my foot impatiently. She was going so _slowly_! But finally, finally, she scanned the last pot of freesias and held her hand out for payment.

"That'll be $103.55."

I handed her my credit card to pay. After she handed it back to me, I grabbed my purchases and swept out the door. Nick was leaning against the wall outside. When he spotted me, his face creased in even more confusion.

"Danny! What are we doing?"

"You'll see. Come on!" And I ran in the direction of Forks. I passed through the quiet little town, seeing the tiny shops and diners. I passed by Charlie's house and almost lost my grip. Charlie was long dead and gone, and I wondered who lived in this house now. My pace slowed as I stopped in front of the house. Staring up at it… remembering… Someone squeezed my hand and I turned around to see Nick, looking at me in concern.

"You okay, Danny?"

"I'm fine. Just… just a lot of memories here."

"Is this where we're going?"

"No, no, we're not there yet." And I reluctantly tore myself away from the house and headed toward the clearing where Bella lay. I tore through the forest, seeing the glimmer of faint sunlight that lay ahead.

I stopped when we reached the clearing and Nick, surprised, crashed into me, causing me to tumble a few steps forward, dropping my purchases. But I didn't notice the flowers on the ground, the seed packets spilled everywhere in a disarray. I barely heard Nick apologize and scramble to rebag the dropped items. I stood in front of the now-weathered tombstone. Although a bit haggard from the elements, the inscription and name on the stone was still as clear as I had seen it a little less than a century ago.

"I'm so sorry, Danny! Here, everything's in there now… Danny…" And he fell silent. Presently, I felt a hand on my shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly.

"Who is this, Danny?"

"This is Bella." My throat constricted, making it impossible for air to pass over my vocal cords and let me finish.

"Bella?"

I took a deep breath, willing the muscles around my larynx to relax.

"It's her birthday today. She should have been eighty-nine today, but forever eighteen. That's what should have happened." And I grew silent, the pain spreading across me again. I bit my lip to keep from crying out. I felt arms hug me from behind and I grabbed them like they were life preservers to keep me from drowning in my grief. Nick didn't say anything more, didn't ask me what had happened to her. I thanked the lord that he didn't, because I didn't know if I could sanely recount it. A slight breeze whipped up, and my ears picked up the rustle of the plastic bags that were left on the ground. What was I doing? I came here to do something for Bella and here I was, standing around and staring like a ninny. I straightened up, forcing the pain back into the depths of my heart and brushed off Nick's arms.

"Look at me, wasting time. I'm sorry, Nick." And I grabbed the plants and started digging and planting, digging and planting, and watering. Dirt was flying everywhere and getting everywhere, into my hair, onto my clothes, smearing across my face. I noticed Nick beside me, digging and planting as well and I smiled at him, mouthing a quiet thanks. He smiled back, shrugging. Finally, all of the plants I had bought were all in the ground as well as the seeds. Nick and I had covered every inch ground within four feet of the tombstone with flowers and lined the flower bed with alternating gray and blue stones. I stepped back to appraise the work. I had to admit, it looked pretty. I sighed and stood there, looking at the new stone, hoping that Bella like this gift, because I honestly didn't know what else I could do for her. If I could give her everything that I had, I would, but I didn't know how to do that, so this was it. With the work done, the tendrils of pain started creeping up on me again and I bent over, clutching my sides, gasping, as it radiated throughout my body.

"Danny? What's wrong?" Nick asked, alarmed. He grabbed my shoulders, supporting me before I completely collapsed to the ground.

"Nothing… just… just wait…it'll pass…"

He stood by me, keeping a hold on me as if scared I would explode or something. I would have found this funny if I hadn't been in the grip of the most mind-crippling pain I had ever experienced. But pass it did, and I slowly straightened up, looking a very worried looking Nick in the eye.

"I'm fine," I said dismissively.

"You didn't seem…"

"I'm fine," I repeated. I looked at the grave again, controlling the pain this time, careful not to let it overwhelm me like it just did. Thoughts swirled around my head. I wondered if Bella could see me now, wondered what she thought of me. Did she, could she forgive me for Jacob? Could she forgive me for now having what she had lost? I sighed. Bella was a saint, but I couldn't see how she could forgive me for such unforgivable offenses. I felt Nick's arms wrap around me again.

"Do you want to talk?"

"Not right now, no. Not here. Maybe when we're back in Boston. I can't… I just can't…"

"Shh… it's okay. I understand. You know, you are a mess." He rubbed his thumb across my forehead, where I supposed a dirt smear was. I chuckled. That was just like Nick, making me laugh when I was down. But we grew silent again, as we stared at the grave that marked a lost life. We stood there for a while, I reflecting on Bella and Nick holding me, rubbing comforting circles on my arms. The sun climbed steadily higher in the sky.

Then, I felt a presence near the edge of the woods and alarmed, I looked up, registering the object that had radiated the feeling a millisecond before the scent hit me, that beautiful, wonderful, yet agonizingly torturous scent. Edward! my heart shouted joyfully, but my mind bore it down by the weight of my shock and hurt. And surprisingly, the exact emotions that I was feeling were reflected in his face… he looked shocked… and hurt. We stared at each other for a couple of seconds, neither of us moving. My heart, straining toward the god-like figure that stood at the edge of the wide clearing, caused my foot to inch forward. But it stopped its motion as I wondered why he looked so hurt. And then, my eyes traveled down I registered the rose in his hand and I knew. Of course. I was so stupid. He was here to visit Bella. But how come I didn't see that he was coming? I had checked and checked and checked. And here I was, spoiling his visit. He wouldn't want to see me. Why should he? Remembering the Jacob incident, he probably thought I was desecrating Bella's resting place with my odious presence. I took a ragged breath, my face crumpling, the pain starting to rush in again as my eyes took in all the angles and shadows and planes of his perfect face. I may have been ready to return to Forks, but I wasn't ready for this. And so, like I had before, I ran, even though what I really wanted to do was throw myself into his arms and beg him to forgive me for my sins.

I heard the faint echo of Nick's surprised cry, "Danny?" but it faded away as I left the town and half of my heart behind, the ground flying underneath my reluctant feet.

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EPOV

The trees flew past me in a blur as I rushed through the forest. I had completely forgotten today was the thirteenth. So far, I had been punctual in delivering a flower to Bella's grave every year on the thirteenth, a ritual to satisfy the constant guilt I felt. I sighed. Seventy years of pondering, of trying to sort out my tangled thoughts… I had gotten nowhere. I was just as confused and torn as before. Seventy years… and I had no decisions to tell Alice or Carlisle.

I had thought that Danny's absence would be a good idea. I chuckled darkly. A good idea… I doubted that her presence would have made me any more confused than I was now. Year after year passed by like molasses, only they weren't as sweet. I never felt any interest in anything anymore, besides my music. I only tried to be slightly more cheerful when everyone else was around. I guiltily thought of Esme's worried, pitying expression everytime I looked her in the face. Of course Alice had no such expression. "Cheer up, Edward," she'd said, "you're driving Jasper nuts." And I honestly did try, I did. But nothing seemed to work. And then, Alice signed me up for a chat room. At first, I'd wanted to strangle her little neck, because it seemed that all people ever wanted to talk about was pointless crap like the latest celebrity gossip. But then, Alice turned out to be right, like always. With that one quote from Tennyson, smartass18 had me enraptured. Now, I spent hours on the computer, talking politics, religion, science, philosophy. For once, it actually kept my mind off of Danny.

But then again, the times that I signed off, only left me more vulnerable to those intruding thoughts. I frowned as I thought back to our last conversation. So she was eighteen, only she was a lot smarter than a lot of eighteen year olds. And a lot more perceptive. It still shocked me that she got me so thoroughly by how I talked. About politics! Politics, of all things! I shook my head. I was duping her into believing I was a normal seventeen year old boy, but now I started to wonder if I was the one being duped. Who _was _she?

The light clearing got closer and closer, and I was just about to burst into the clearing when I saw something that stopped me right in my tracks, as if I'd hit a brick wall. In fact, it wasn't a wall of brick I'd hit. It was more like a wall of that delicious scent that she emitted, the smell of morning dew and spring rains and moonlight and wild, free things.

Danny.

My breath caught in my throat. There she was. After seventy years of thinking about her, picturing her face in my head, there she was, as beautiful as ever, her dark auburn hair falling in rolling waves down her shoulders. She had dirt smears all over her, as if she'd been rolling in the dirt like a little kid. There was dirt all over her jeans, her shirt, and in her hair. Then, I noticed the profusion of flowers all around Bella's grave bordered by a pretty arrangement of rocks that had not been there before. So she'd come for the same thing as I had too. My gaze traveled up to her face again, and then, I noticed the other vampire that was standing behind her, his arms wrapped around hers in a gesture of comfort.

The sight hit me like a knife in the heart. She had found someone else. Of course. Why shouldn't she? I didn't have any reason to expect that she would stay single over all this time. Who wouldn't want Danny? But still, the sight hurt me, shocking me like a jolt in the electric chair.

Suddenly, Danny stiffened and looked up. I would have moved, but I couldn't. I was caught in those eyes again, those beautiful emerald eyes. I was so entranced, that I didn't even wonder why her eyes were still green. Her eyes widened. I felt an urge to run to her, to rip her from those unfamiliar arms and take her into my own and never let her go. But I was rooted to the ground by my dismay. She made a motion with her foot, as if to move towards me, but she stopped. An eternity seemed to pass, as the sight of Danny in the arms of the other vampire took root in my mind like a poisonous weed, and then, she took a ragged breath and her face crumpled, and she disappeared, leaving only her scent. The other vampire looked, surprised, at his now empty arms, his head snapping up.

"Danny?" he called. And then, he spotted me. I was still nailed to the spot where I was still standing, looking at the place where Danny had last been. The vampire looked at me in surprise, and then, comprehension and recognition dawned on his face, curiosity replacing the surprise. He looked at me, seeming to want to come speak to me, but then looked to the direction in which Danny had disappeared. He gave me one last fleeting glance, and then disappeared as well.

I was rooted there for I don't know how long, the image of Danny with another man bouncing around in my head. I should have known she would move on, so why did it still come as a surprise? And then, Alice appeared next to me.

"Edward, what are you still doing here? Edward? Edward?!"

I didn't answer. Alice's face appeared before mine, her eyes probing mine.

"Edward, what happened?"

And then, that prompted me to action.

"I'm going for a run," and dropping the rose and ignoring Alice's calls, I ran and ran and ran. I was probably in Canada when I stopped, flinging myself to the ground, clutching my head, trying to quell the picture of Danny in my head. It was torturing me, because I couldn't bear the thought of Danny with someone else, even though I knew I didn't have a right to expect her not to do so. What did I care if she had moved on?

I cared. Of course, I cared, however irrational and selfish it may be. Didn't she know how much it killed me? Didn't she know how much I cared for her, how much I loved her?

I grew calmer. Of course, of course she didn't. Why should she? She's never looked at me as anything but her best friend's fiancé, the way she should. I grew calmer and the shock and hurt turned to anger.

So she moved on. Well then, so would I. I was wasting my time. I laughed bitterly. Here I was, living in a black hole for seventy years, worrying about her when there was absolutely nothing to worry about. She had the sandy-haired man to take care of her now. She didn't need my worrying. She had someone worrying about her. My rage grew, feeding off the last remnants of my hurt. I resolved to never think about her again, to never let her bring me down so low. At least now, I had my decision to tell Carlisle. No more Danny. She would only bring more misery. I was done. I ignored my screaming heart, my rage drowning out its protests. I didn't love her, I told it. No, I didn't love her. I hated her. Yes, yes. My decision was made. No. More. I started running back home, repeating this last sentence over and over again.

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DPOV

I reached Boston at nightfall, unlocking the door and slamming it closed. I didn't make it to my room. I sank down against the wall, collapsing into a heap right at my doorway and completely breaking down.

Edward's look of complete desolation danced around in my head, tormenting me. The understatement of the year: he wasn't happy to see me.

I knew that he wouldn't be. I mean, really? The last time he saw me, my face was buried in Jacob's blood! Jacob, someone I was supposed to protect! And then, there's Bella. He probably didn't appreciate me being there, when Bella shouldn't have been the one who died. It was just a cruel twist of fate that the bullet veered left instead of right.

So why am I so crushed? If I expected it, why the hell am I breaking down like this? For seventy years, I've worked my ass off trying to forget about him, to try to get on with my life, to become a strong person, and now… now, he'd broken down all of the walls I'd build in less than a second.

But of course, I was probably hurting him. There was a look of hurt on his face, too. I reminded him too much of what he lost, of the fact that Bella shouldn't have been the one who had died. I pushed back my scream of agony. I was doing it again, hurting the ones I loved. I clutched my head in my hands, trying to hold myself together, even though I could feel myself coming apart at the seams.

There was only one thing for me to do… I had to leave. I wouldn't hurt anyone else ever again, even if I had to live in a cave like a hermit for the rest of eternity, I would do it. I wouldn't break my promise again.

I pulled myself off the floor and ran, unsteadily, drunkenly, to my room, where I dug my old suitcase out of my closet and began throwing everything I owned into it, determining not to leave one trace of my noxious presence behind. Dresses, shoes, shirts, pictures… in they went in complete disarray. My concentration on the task at hand dulled my pain somewhat and my sense around me as well, so I didn't notice it when the door opened.

"Danny?! What the hell are you doing?"

_Crap._ I thought, and packed faster.

From my peripheral vision, I saw Nick standing next to me, staring at the suitcase in horror.

"I'm leaving Nick. Please, don't ask me where I'm going and don't try to follow me. I can't stay here anymore."

"Danny, did you lose your mind back in Forks, because right now, you're speaking nonsense and I'm not understanding a word you're saying."

_Ha. I left a lot more than my mind back in Forks_.

"Please, Nick. This is for your own good." I saw his face harden.

"No. I refuse to believe that. What do you mean it's for my own good?"

"You wouldn't understand."

"Then help me understand!"

I didn't answer; I didn't really want to think about why I was leaving. Suddenly, there were hands beside me, throwing everything I had packed out of the suitcase.

"NICK!" I screeched, "What the HELL do you think you're doing?!"

"I'm not letting you leave, not like this, not until you tell me exactly why you're leaving me? Did I do something wrong?"

"No!" I tried to throw back in all the stuff he was throwing out.

"Do I annoy you or something?"

"No!" It wasn't working.

"Is this because of—"

"NO! Stop throwing everything out!" I said, wild-eyed.

"Then stop packing!!"

"NO!!"

"Why not?! Is this a new freak of yours?! Like cleaning?"

I ignored him. I had to get out of here. I could feel cracks beginning to form in the wall of calm that held back the tsunami of pain. Nick grabbed my hands and I struggle to break his hold to put the last item in the suitcase, but for once, he was too strong for me.

"Let go of me Nick!"

"Tell me!"

"I… CAN'T!!!… now LET GO!!!"

"Not until…"

The pain hit me like a bulldozer. That could run over vampires.

"DAMNIT NICK JUST LET ME GO!!!"

And with one last heaving effort, I managed to rip my hands away from his grasp. However, that took the last ounce of my composure with it and I fell to the floor before I could take another step. I was shaking, vibrating like a tuning fork as the pain swept through my body and burned it, reopening old scars everywhere it went, causing me to cry out in hurt. Nick dropped down beside me.

"Danny… Danny… what's wrong? Did I hurt you? I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to. I'm such an idiot."

I couldn't answer, even though I could almost feel his anxiety. If he really knew who I was, he wouldn't be as sympathetic.

"Please, Danny… speak to me. What's wrong?"

"Don't worry… Just… just wait a minute… it'll pass…" I managed to rasp out. He waited, still worried. After a moment, the pain did pass by, although the ache was still there, but it was more manageable than the pain. I began breathing normally again and I could hear Nick heave a sigh of relief.

"I'm sorry, Danny."

"It's not your fault. Please don't think it's your fault. I'm just going to hate myself more than I already do now."

"Don't hate yourself! Why the hell would you hate yourself?! You're a beautiful person Danny, inside and out."

I didn't say anything, because he didn't know how wrong he was. Nick sighed.

"Geez Danny, you're a mess," he said, repeating the words he'd said just hours before, although this time, they took on a completely different meaning.

"Come on, let's get you cleaned up," he suggested, and tried to pull me up, "and up you go…oops!"

I had taken a step and fallen, the pain still having ahold of my muscles.

"What's wrong with you Danny?" Nick asked worriedly, as he finally just swept me up and carried me to the bathroom. He laid me down on the floor of the shower. Shortly, I heard the squeak of the knob and a second later, the comforting drum of water drops hit my body. I curled up into a ball and concentrated on the water trickling down my skin, imagining it washing away all the pain. Ha! I wish. As the water fell down in rivulets, I felt a pressure building in my chest, pushing and pushing and pushing, until I was sure I would burst. And then, it did, ripping out of the depths of my body as sobs. And so I sat there, sobbing like there was no tomorrow, all of the events of the day crashing down upon me and forcing sounds out of me that I'd never heard before.

"Danny! Danny… shh… don't cry… it's okay… everything will be okay…" Nick comforted me, wrapping his arms around me in a big hug. He rocked me back and forth, murmuring those same words to me over and over again, as if I were five years old again and was woken by a bad dream. We sat there for I don't know how long, the water soaking through our clothes, drenching our skin. I felt fingers raking through my air, trying to get the dirt and leaves out of it I presumed. Presently, the sobs subsided and all that was left was the dull ache. We sat there for five more minutes, and then, Nick spoke.

"I never told you about the picture."

I opened my eyes, "The picture?"

"In the drawer."

"No."

Nick didn't say anything more for a couple of minutes, so I reclosed my eyes and concentrated on retaining a state of nothingness again. And then…

"His name was Henri."

I reopened my eyes, "Henri?"

"Yes."

"Ooh-la-la."

Nick chuckled. I waited.

"He lived in Paris, in the mid nineteenth century. He was an artist there."

"He painted the picture, then?"

"Yes. He painted the picture."

"He's very good."

"Yes, he was."

"And what were you doing in Paris, then. You're no Frenchman, Nick."

"I was studying there, a student at the Sorbonne."

"Ah."

"I was teased mercilessly by my classmates for being so English. So I frequently went on walk, to get away from them all. And then one day, I was strolling around in the Tuileries Gardens and I saw him there, sitting on a bench and sketching on a notepad."

I listened, engrossed in his story.

"He was the most beautiful person I had ever seen."

"Is that when you knew…?"

"That I was gay?" he chuckled, "Sort of. I've always suspected that I was a bit different. I was never interested in the pretty mademoiselles like the other boys were."

My mouth lifted up in a tiny smile.

"But I was afraid. That he wasn't like me, that he wouldn't like me because I wasn't 'French' enough. So… I followed him. I was quite good at being stealthy. I suppose that's why I can be invisible now. But I loved to watch him draw. I was entranced by how he could take an ordinary object and transform it into magic on the page."He paused and I waited for him to continue.

"But one day, as he was drawing outside, I became so enchanted by what he was doing, that I forgot where I was and I kept inching forward, not looking down, and stepped on a twig. Henri looked around and saw me, standing there looking all sheepish and embarrassed. He stared at me for a second and I would have run, only I couldn't move. I was sort of… stuck there, if you know what I mean."

I nodded. I did know what he meant, only too well.

"But he was angry or creeped out or anything. He just looked at me for a second, and then, said, 'I would like to paint you.' And I nodded yes. And that was how it began."

"Wow. So, was he…?"

"Yes. We were both really cautious with each other at first, because neither of us really knew how the other felt. But soon, little by little, we got to know each other. One night, I was over at his place in Montmartre, watching him paint a still life. Somehow, one thing led to another… and… well, let's just say I was late to class the next morning because I had to run all the way from Montmartre."

"And so, Henri and I began to know each other more… a _lot_ more. We spent days and nights together, just enjoying each other's presence. Those were some of the happiest days of my life. I loved Henri. He was one of the funniest, kindest, most sincere people I have ever known. I idolized him. Most of all, I really loved buying him things. He was a poor—the whole starving artist thing you know—whereas I come from a wealthy family, my father was a very wealthy banker and investor in overseas stocks. He sometimes complained, because he believed he didn't have anything to give me back, although his companionship was more than I'd ever wanted. But he kept asking me, and so, to appease him, I said, 'Give me one of your paintings, and we are even.' And so, he gave me the self-portrait of himself."

I guessed that we were coming to the sad part of the story now, because his expression darkened.

"We lived like that for maybe two or three months. And then, I got a letter from my father, ordering me back home before I shamed the family any more. Apparently, I wasn't the only one who could be invisible. My father had sent down a person to spy on me. But I refused, because I knew that if I left France now, I would never come back. So, my father disowned me, leaving me homeless and jobless with nothing to call my own except Henri."

"But Henri, the good soul that he was, offered me his place to stay and for a while, we both lived on the meager sums that Henri earned through his artwork while I went out to try to find a job, which was hard considering the fact that my French sounded like the braying of a donkey. But we managed to get by."

He paused again. I waited. Minutes passed and Nick still didn't say anything.

So, timidly, I asked, "So… what happened?"

"Syphilis," was Nick's terse answer.

"Oh."

"We were getting low on our rent, but I never knew, because Henri never let me know how bad it really was. It was only when I saw the rent notices that Henri had accidently left out on the kitchen table that I saw that we were less than a sous away from getting evicted. If I had known earlier, I would have never let him do…" He stopped, choking up. I rubbed comforting circles on his arm, which had fallen into my lap during his story. I knew something bad was coming up, like you knew something bad was coming in a horror movies, like at any moment, something was about to jump out at you.

"Nineteenth century France wasn't the most hospitable time to live in. The notices were wrong. We weren't a sous away from getting evicted. We owed the tenant money. Not a lot of money, but enough for the tenant to demand its payment, or our departure. But Henri was adamant on keeping the small apartment, and so, the tenant made him do a lot of things he didn't want to do. It's not like the tenant was gay as well. He had a wife. But apparently, that wasn't enough for the pervert." Nick stopped again, anger preventing him from going any further. I was glad for the opportunity to compose myself as well. I shuddered in disgust, horrified at what Henri had to go through.

"And I suppose that's where the syphilis started, from that stuck up bastard. I didn't suspect at first that he had contracted a disease. I made sure that he wouldn't be bowing down to the tenant again, by doing random odd jobs day and night that didn't pay very much, but added up enough to make up our deficit. But then, the fevers started and the fatigue. Henri would have to lie down for hours at a time and sometimes, he couldn't even pick up his brush. Well, as soon as the tenant noticed , the hypocrite kicked us out, saying that he didn't want a pair of God-forsaken sodomites living under his roof. And so, we were without a home. All of Henri's sacrifice had been for naught. I went door to door, begging for help as Henri's condition increasingly worsened. But no one would help us. At the worst, they turned as away, kicking at us like we were dogs, simply because of what we were. After a while, I began to get fevers too, and I simply didn't have the strength anymore to carry Henri throughout the city.

"And so, I dragged myself and him under the bridge that crossed the Seine and we stayed there, both of us too weak to get food or water, too weak to even move. We simply lay there, waiting for either disease or starvation to take us. There was really nothing else we could do. And then, one night, it was an exceptionally starry night, I remember, Henri began slipping away. I could hear his breathing getting shallower and shallower next to mine and I remember the tears, falling, remember thinking, 'This is it. It's all over.'" But before I could do anything else, a shadow fell across me and a sharp pain slash across my throat, sending me over the edge into an unconsciousness, and a painful unconsciousness at that, as the fire spread across my body. I remember thinking that I was in hell, which disenchanted me, because I didn't actually believe I would go to hell for being gay. For me, love was love, no matter who it's with. The three days passed and my transformation was complete. I woke to find myself in the morgue, Henri's lifeless, half-transformed body next to mine." His voice broke at the end.

"Oh Nick, I'm so sorry," I said, hugging him tightly, aghast at all the things the poor kid had to go through. Here, I had been breaking down because of what? Of seeing a familiar face again? And Nick, Nick had gone through so much more suffering than I had; he didn't have a familiar face to go back to. I shivered as I thought of what would happen if _he_ dropped out of existence. I knew in my heart that I wouldn't be very far behind him. It was amazing to me that Nick had managed to survive all this time when the love of his life had gone. I was being so selfish. I sighed. Nick spoke again.

"I never knew who had bitten me or why. I have a theory that they were hunting and they found us, two easy targets. But for some reason, maybe our blood didn't taste right because of the disease, and so they left us there. As for Henri, I believe his body was too close to death for the venom to take hold, and so he passed away, leaving me to find some kind of existence without him, even though that's really not much of an existence at all. So don't you see, Danny? You shouldn't hate yourself. You're one of the best things that's ever happened to me. For almost two centuries I had wandered this Earth, never being able to truly be myself. When they found out who I was, people turned me away, not wanting to even look at me. But you, you, Danny, you accepted me, all of me."

I turned away.

"Nick, you think you know me, but you really don't."

"This is you, Danny. I know it in my heart."

I sighed. I really didn't want to break his illusions, but I had to.

"You probably want to know what happened this afternoon."

"You don't have to tell me, Danny. I didn't tell you about Henri to get something in return."

"No, no. I _want_ to tell you." And to my surprise, I did. It was time that I didn't keep all my secrets to myself. Maybe telling them to someone else would help me achieve an emotional catharsis. And so I told him, about Edward, about Bella, about Jacob. Everything except my feelings for Edward. That was a secret too dark and too secret to divulge. And maybe, I thought, if I didn't acknowledge it, maybe it would just go away and stop the torture. I finished my tale, cringing as I waited for Nick to realize what a horrible person I actually was and beg me to get out. Minutes passed and he didn't say anything. I sighed.

"I'll go get my bags now." And with a heavy heart, I started to get back up to leave. But Nick pulled me back down.

"What are you talking about?"

"You finally realize, don't you, what kind of a person I am?"

"Yes, I do!"

I looked at him, not comprehending.

"I realize that right now, I'm looking at a girl who has gone through a lot, far more than she should ever have to go through, a girl who managed to pull herself together again, to be a functioning member of society, even though she was unjustly broken apart by someone she had trusted. Danny, none of this was your fault! How can you think that?"

"Whatever you think, Nick, you have to agree that I must go. I'm like a bad luck charm. I hurt everyone I loved. Bella, Jacob, my mom and dad… did you see the _look_ on Edward's face this afternoon? I won't let you be next."

"Okay, now you've truly gone nuts. Nothing is going to happen to me, Danny. Those things, those were not within your control."

"Jacob?" I asked darkly.

"You were a newborn; you couldn't help it. And besides," he added furiously, "I think that Jacob kid deserved it."

"I wish everyone would stop saying that."

"Nevertheless, you're staying."

"I made a promise to myself, Nick, that I wouldn't hurt anyone I cared about ever again. I broke it today. I'm not going to break it again."

"You're not Danny."

"How do you know?"

"I just do. I'm the great see-all hear-all. I know what's going to happen."

I wasn't laughing.

"Seriously Danny, the only way you'll hurt me is if you walk out that door."

"That's not fair."

"You want to keep your promise, Danny? Then stay."

I bit my lip, thinking about it. Staying was so tempting. I really did want to stay. Nick was a good friend, and I didn't want to leave him. But I couldn't hurt him again. But then, if I left, he would be hurt, too, and irrational as it was, I could see he wasn't lying. I groaned. Fate had a knack for making things hard for me.

"Fine. I'll stay."

"YES! I knew you'd come to your senses."

I sighed. Nick was blind. He couldn't see me for what I really was, even though I'd laid it all out for him to see.

"Thanks for being such a good friend."

"No problem, Danny."

And we sat there for a couple more minutes, until the water ran cold and it was time for me to go to class.

**So... what did you think?**


	27. Chapter 27 Surprise!

DPOV

_Twenty years later…2097…_

I tore into the apartment, almost ripping the door off in my haste. As soon as I had closed the door normally and carefully, my cell phone beeped, indicating that I had a text message. I ripped the tiny square out of my pocket and flipped it open.

_Danny, you found it right?_

**Found what, Nick? Just got home! GOTTA GO!!!**

_WTF?!?! What have you been doing? You're gonna be late!_

**I KNOW THAT NICK!**

_Well, HURRY UP! You're dress is on your bed!_

I stopped.

**You picked my dress?**

_HA! You think I'd let you pick it out yourself?_

**Well, where are you?**

_I'm still at the LaVrys'. Fashion meltdown._

**Are you ditching me?**

_No! I'm just gonna be a bit late._

**Well, in that case, you can't stop me from picking out what I want to wear.**

_Wanna bet?_

My phone beeped. 7:50. Damn. The stupid gala thing started at eight.

**Whatever, Nick. I don't have time to argue. Look… I'll just see you there, okay? Bye.**

And I tossed my phone onto my couch and zipped to my closet to find something to wear. A stretch of black on my bed caught my eye. I backtracked and picked up the dress Nick had laid out for me, my eyes wide. No. Way. It was this slinky floor length black number that terrified me. _**(Outfit on my profile).**_ You would think, that since I was a vampire and all, I wouldn't trip anymore, but I was still terrified of tripping. And this time, if I tripped, I would most definitely rip the dress. Shaking my head, my line of sight travelled down to the shoes that were on the floor and I almost started hyperventilating. They were four inch tall black stilts. No. Way. I dropped the dress like a hot potato and ran back to the sofa, where my phone lay.

**You're trying to kill me, Nick.**

_I take it that you found it?_

**YES! If you think I'm wearing that, you're high. In fact, I think you are high. What the hell are you smoking right now Nick?**

_Nothing! The dress will look amazing._

**The dress?! Not **_**just**_** the dress! The shoes!  
**

_You need to stand tall tonight Danny. It's your night. You're not the tallest person around, you know._

**Thanks, Nick. Thanks a lot.**

_Just saying._

**Well, you're delusional if you think I'm wearing this.**

I marched to my closet, determined to search out some comfortable slacks and flats to wear instead. But, when I opened my closet door… I saw… nothing. Everything was gone. Every single article of clothing had been cleared off the shelves. I gaped, totally floored. What the HELL?

And then, my mind started working again. Nick…

**You TOOK AWAY my CLOTHES?!?!**

_You'll thank me later._

**NO I WILL NOT! Where did you take my clothes Nick?!  
**

_Ugh. Trust me. They're somewhere safe. God forbid that ANYTHING happens to your ratty old clothes._

My cell phone beeped again: 7:55. I groaned. I had no choice now but to wear the stupid outfit. I didn't have time to search all over the city for my clothes.

**I'm gonna kill you, Nick.**

_I love you too._

I snapped the phone shut and with a grimace, tore off my work clothes and slipped on the dress that Nick had on the bed. I grabbed the brush and ran it through my hair. I looked in the mirror. I should probably do something with my hair… I tried twisting it into an acceptable updo, but after seeing the disastrous leaning tower that was on my head, I gave up and tied it into a side ponytail. Something shiny on the edge of the dresser caught my eye. It was a clutch, a very bow-y feminine clutch. I growled. Nick was really going to get it. But I didn't have time. I threw my keys, lipstick, wallet, and cell phone into the clutch and the heels onto my feet and streaked out the door, my skirt hiked up in one hand so as not to trip on it. As I rounded the corner and went to the elevator, I saw that it was only on the first floor. I groaned. Not cool! At this rate, I might as well just jump out the window. Wait a minute…

I streaked back into the apartment and ran to the balcony. I went to the railing and looked down, gulping at the dizzying height. As a vampire, the dark, dingy alley below was even more defined and sharp looking than it would have if I had been human. I looked at the clock. Damn. 7:58. Taking a deep breath, I took off my shoes, stepped onto the railing, and stepped off into the darkness. The air whistled around me as I dropped and dropped and dropped, my hair and dress flying up. I landed on my feet with a deafening crash and pieces of gravel flew up around me. I opened my eyes and looked around. Made it. Whew. I took a step and almost fell flat on my face. I looked down. My feet were stuck in two potholes that had resulted from the impact. I cursed and pulled them out, putting my shoes back on, and running toward the main street. I got to the side of the road and signaled for a taxi, which promptly pulled over.

I scrambled into the seat and gasped, "Plaza Hotel, please. And step on it!"

The cab zoomed away. I closed my eyes while in the cab, trying to calm down and get ready for the presentation I had to give tonight. I sighed.

I really did NOT want to go to this science gala and exposition that the university was hosting. However, since I was supposed to give a huge presentation of my work, the department head had pretty much threatened to fire me if I didn't go. Great.

I went over the presentation notes in my mind. But my mind drifted off to an earlier conversation. I was still talking with toomoodyforwords. Even after twenty years, we have not run out of things to talk about and discuss. He had fascinating ideas about almost everything. However I felt kind of guilty for duping him into believing I was thirty-eight years old, married, and with two kids. Especially since he seemed to have become more and more disillusioned and cynical as the years went by. I remembered the very first conversation we had, after I'd recovered enough, after meeting Edward on Bella's birthday, to log on. I hadn't talked to him in more than two months, and was worried that he thought I'd ditched him. But no. It turned out that he'd been out for a while too. I frowned, remembering the very first thing he'd said to me.

"Tell me, is it in girls' nature to be unintentionally cruel?"

I'd started to say no, but he interrupted with a "Of course the operative word is unintentional. I really hate how I can't blame her. The only one I can blame is myself. Still, how I hate her."

Curiosity piqued, I asked him what happened. Apparently, a girl he had loved was settled with someone else. I sighed. I really don't know why toomoodyforwords was having such troubles. He was a great guy. Girls should be falling over themselves for him. I shook my head.

I felt the car start to slow and I looked up. Crap. We were in a traffic jam.

"I'm sorry, miss, but it appears that we're stuck in a jam."

I rolled my eyes. _Thank you, Captain Obvious._

"I'm sorry sir, but I'm really in a hurry. Is there _any_ way that you can circumvent this?" I said, making my voice as sweet as possible, even fluttering my eyelashes for good measure. He blinked, momentarily stunned. Okay, so not the reaction I was going for. I waited impatiently.

"Uh… no, sorry, miss. Nothing I can do."

I huffed. I might as well just get out and run there. I looked out the window to see where we were. We were stuck on Broadway and 53rd. I made my decision and dug in my clutch for some money. I tossed a twenty at the driver.

"Okay, then, well thanks for the ride."

"What?! Wait! Where are you going? Miss?!"

I ignored him, got out, and disappeared. I ran down Broadway, dodging people and cars and turned left on 58th, running until I reached the hotel. I entered the swivel doors and an obsequious looking porter appeared in front of me.

"Can I take your wrap, miss?" He asked, leering at me lewdly. I rolled my eyes. I didn't have a wrap; I didn't have time for this.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," I said, brushing him off and striding towards the ballroom, entering into the doorway just as the clock struck eight. I let out my breath. Whew. Made it. I brushed my hair out of my face and stared down at the scene in front of me. It was a beautiful room. I stood on top of the grand staircase that led down to the floor, looking at the people milling about and mingling, laughing, drinking. I gulped at the thought of going down the wide staircase alone. I felt so vulnerable… If only Nick were here.

_Okay, Danny. Be strong. You can do this. Don't be such a chicken. _

I took a deep breath, and descended the staircase, testing each step to make sure that I wouldn't trip in the ridiculous heels that Nick put me in. I relaxed when my foot touched bottom and I drifted around the room, acknowledging greetings to other professors and colleagues. A waiter offered me a glass of champagne and I declined. I reached the other end of the large room and stood there awkwardly, shifting my weight from one foot to the other. This was why I hated parties. I was always the wallflower there. I sighed, tapping my foot as I watched other people converse and have a good time. I checked and rechecked the clock, wondering when Nick was going to get here and put me out of my misery.

And then, a distinctly non-human scent reached me. _Nick_, I thought, scanning the crowd for him. I analyzed the scent some more. It smelled rather different, not like how Nick usually smelled. Maybe he put on some cologne…? I wandered around the room, tracing the smell until I reached the far end of the room, where a group of men were conversing. The scent was coming from the blond and I frowned. Did Nick dye his hair or something? And what the hell was he doing? I listened in closely, recognizing that the group was talking about new nanotechnology breakthroughs in medicine. My confusion deepened. Nick hated talking about science… I reached the group and I put my hand on Nick's shoulder.

"Nick, what are you—?"

The man turned around. At that second, three things happened. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Nick, brown hair mussed from running, brushing lint off his expensive looking suit, appearing at the top of the stairs. As the man turned around, we both stared at each other in shock, as I finally realized, stupidly, obviously, that the vampire was not, in fact, Nick. And, my boss suddenly appeared by my side, greeting me in a rather tipsy manner. But, I was unable to answer him, as I continued staring at the blond in front of me, my jaw still on the floor.

"Danny?!" The vampire said incredulously. I found my voice.

"C-_Carlisle_?"

**Oooh…hehe…cliffy. So don't forget to review! Come on! You can do it!  
**

**-starrytwilightgirl**


	28. Chapter 28 Invitation

"_I got soul but I'm not a soldier,_

_I got soul but I'm not a soldier,_

_I got soul but I'm not a soldier,_

_I got soul but I'm not a soldier,_

_I got soul but I'm not a soldier,_

_I got soul but I'm not a soldier."_

"All These Things That I've Done"

The Killers

DPOV

I stared at Carlisle's handsome, surprised face, a sight I'd never thought I'd see again. I blinked twice and barely registered the fact that my boss was standing less than an inch away from me.

"So, you've already met our lovely Dr. Rory, have you, Carlisle?" Dr. Vrieke (or as I thought of him, Creepy Vrieke, because truth be told, he was a creeper) said, his speech the tiniest bit slurred. He slung his arm around my waist, a which point I started and came to.

"Yes," Carlisle answered, smiling at me, "we've known each other for quite a while." I fought back the strangest urge to laugh as I caught the meaning behind Carlisle's words. Yup, we sure have. For far longer than Creepy Vrieke would've ever thought possible.

"Well. I bet you don't know that Dr. Rory here is one of the brightest gems in our crown," he chuckled, "Showed us all up when she came in for her interview. We were all expecting a gray-haired old lady, what with her resumé, and there she was, looking all but twenty! Well, we almost turned her away! But then, she sure screwed us over with her knowledge of the sciences." He chuckled again, "She knew more than even I did!"

Then, he started guffawing, embarrassingly so, "And you wouldn't believe the looks on those kids' faces when they walked out of her classroom that first day! She always manages to break them in though. They have a hard time accepting her. She looks too much like one of them. Still, she's one of the best in the business. And she's not a bad sight for sore eyes, either."

I smiled weakly at him, and then, tensed, as his hand started travelling down, lower than it should be, until it came to a firm rest on my ass. I froze, panic starting to rise in my chest. I'd suspected that Vrieke had a thing for me, but this had never happened before. I could have easily pushed Vrieke away, but I was paralyzed with fear. I prayed that Vrieke would move away.

Suddenly, another familiar sight appeared next to Carlisle. Esme.

"Carlisle, what—?" And then she saw me. Surprise flitted across Esme's features and then it was gone. She smiled at me.

"Danny! What a lovely surprise!"

I couldn't speak. If I were human, my face would be bright red and my heart would be racing, but since I was a vampire, I just froze into a statue.

My panicked eyes met Carlisle's and he read the fear in them. Puzzled, he looked more closely at me and then, saw where Vrieke's hand had come to a rest. Disgusted, he whispered something into Esme's ear, and her eyes became disgusted as well. Quickly, she pulled me from Vrieke's gasp.

"Come here, Danny! Let me take a look at you. I haven't seen you in so long!" she said, as if nothing were wrong, as she hugged me.

"Thanks, Esme," I whispered.

"You're welcome. People are so horrible, sometimes."

"This has never happened before. I suspect he's a bit tipsy," I said, still shaky. I felt so gross. My boss had just groped me. Ugh.

"We'll call a cab for him. He shouldn't be here in this state."

She pulled me back and held me at arms length as if to look at me. I smiled at her and she smiled back. I was so pro at the whole "nothing's wrong" thing by now. She kept me by her side. I sneaked a glance at Creepy (now Gropy) Vrieke. He looked rather disappointed. Ew ew ew ew ew….

"I love your dress, Danny," Esme admired.

"Thanks," a familiar voice said behind me. _Nick_, I thought, in both relief and irritation. I was still going to get him about the heels. Carlisle and Esme wheeled around, puzzled and probably wondering who the hell this was.

"Carlisle, Esme, Dr. Vrieke, this is Nick. Nick, this is Carlisle, Esme, and Dr. Vrieke."

They exchanged greetings. Carlisle and Esme regarded Nick curiously, Vrieke, jealously, as I walked over and slung my arm around Nick's shoulder and his arm curled around my waist.

I whispered into his ear, "Don't think that just because there's company, I'm letting you off the hook."

"Now how could I ever think that?" he whispered back.

"So, how do you know Nick, Danny?" Vrieke asked. Ugh. I needed to end this. _Now_.

"Nick is my boyfriend, _Dr. Vrieke_," I replied nonchalantly, emphasizing the formality to convey that I didn't appreciate him calling me Danny, "We live together."

I felt Nick start a little next to me in surprise, and I gave him a little kick to tell him to play along.

"Uh… yeah. We've been together for a while now," Nick said, falling into the same nonchalance that I had conveyed seconds ago.

"Oh," was Dr. Vrieke's only answer, as his pug face fell into a dejected expression. There was an awkward pause and then…

"Well, I suppose I must go. Mustn't leave the other guests neglected," Dr. Vrieke mumbled, "Enjoy yourself for the rest of the night." And he stumbled away.

"Geez," Nick said, "what a creeper."

I scoffed, "Why else do you think I call him Creepy Vrieke? Ugh. Thank God he's gone. Thanks for playing along, Nick."

"No problem."

I turned to look at Carlisle and Esme. They had the most confused expression on their face, it was almost funny.

"Carlisle? Esme?" I prompted them.

"So, Nick is--?" Esme began.

"My friend." I said simply, "I just fed Dr. Vrieke that line so he'll stay away from me."

"But you're living together?" Esme said, eyebrows raised.

I laughed, looking at Nick, who was laughing too.

"Trust me, Esme. Nick has no such attraction to me whatsoever, nor I to him," I assured her. _If only they knew exactly who I was attracted to…_ _No, not now Danny. Stop it._

They looked convinced.

"So, I suppose you're here for the presentation as well? I'm sure you've read his research?" Carlisle asked.

"What, you mean Daniel Radcliffe's?" I asked, hiding a smile.

"Yes. I'm quite interested to see who it actually is. I'm quite sure it's not the late Harry Potter actor who wrote it," Carlisle said, laughing, "Quite an interesting choice of name. Whoever wrote it must be very adverse to being known, if they had us all sign a confidentiality contract before coming in."

"Oooh! Danny! Can I tell them? Pleeeease?" Nick begged me, practically jumping up and down. I rolled my eyes. Trust Nick to spoil my delicious moment of irony.

"Sure, Nick, why not? They're gonna find out anyway."

"You mean, you know who it is?" Esme asked, eyes wide.

"Oh you have no idea," Nick said, a huge smile on his face.

"Well," Carlisle asked, "who is it?"

"Well, you're looking at her."

They blinked and then, turned to stare at me.

"You found a cure for cancer, Danny?"

"Surprise," I said wryly.

"Well, that's absolutely amazing," Carlisle exclaimed, patting me on the back, "Congratulations. You've certainly made something of yourself."

"Oh, Danny." Esme enthused, "We're so proud of you! Oh, wait 'till the others hear about this!"

"Well… it's not really a cure yet. It's just a possibility."

"A strong possibility," Carlisle interjected, "Everyone's talking about it. But… Daniel Radcliffe?"

I laughed, "Well, I'm the original Harry Potter geek." I mimed drawing a lightning bolt on my forehead, "Besides we have the same initials. D. R. … Dr…. Dr. Rory. Daniel… Danielle. It all seemed to fit." I shrugged.

Esme gasped, "That's right! How clever…"

"But back to your research… However did you see the solution?" Carlisle asked, the light of professional interest in his eyes.

As I opened my mouth to reply, the announcer said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please turn your attention to the stage for the presentation of the night." Twitters of anticipation went up among the crowd as people craned their neck to see who Daniel Radcliffe really was. I turned around to Carlisle.

"Well, I guess you're about to see."

"Good luck," Esme said, blowing me a kiss as I moved towards the stage. Nick followed me.

"Well, you took that rather well," he mused, "all things considered."

"It's not Carlisle and Esme that I'm worried about," I said back. Still, the knife of pain wrenched in my heart and I bit my lip to keep from crying out as unwanted memories started flooding back. To avoid any further questions, I bounded up the stage to begin my presentation. I made my way to the podium, just as Vrieke had finished his introduction.

"And here she is… Dr. Danielle Rory!"

There was deafening applause. I stepped into the spotlight that was trained on the podium and the applause died down to a few uncertain claps. I could hear whispers and twitters among the audience.

"Is _that_ who it is?"

"Impossible, that's not her! She's too young. She can't be more than twenty!"

"Maybe she's here to tell us Dr. Rory couldn't be here?"

"This is a joke!"

I scowled. Great. First day of class all over again. I waited for the whispers to die down as I scanned the audience. My eye caught Carlisle's, who was frowning at the people around him. He gave me an encouraging smile and a thumbs up. I smiled my thanks at him. The room was now silent.

"Hello, my name is Dr. Rory."

"Now I know the Question and Answer session usually comes at the end, but, since I'm feeling a bit rebellious tonight, we'll do some at the beginning. And since you've already posed some of your questions, here are the answers."

"Yes, I AM Dr. Rory. I have my driver's license right here if you are still incredulous."

"No, I am NOT pubescent. Again, birth date is on the driver's license."

"And, no, this is NOT a joke. Trust me, we would've thought up a better prank than this."

The crowd laughed at my snide remarks.

"Now, are there any more questions OR can I actually begin my presentation?" I asked, letting a bit of irritation color my voice.

The crowd was silent. Just. Like. The. First. Day. Of. Class.

"Good, now on we go. Try to keep up."

And I launched into my presentation of my research, my data, my facts. Everything and anything I did to get to my result. There were some mutters among the audience, but they weren't disparaging this time.

"Oh, that's so simple!"

"Why didn't we ever see this before?"

I smirked. Humans could be so blind. They just couldn't see the patterns in what they thought was chaos.

I stopped at the end of my presentation. There was silence. I stared around me.

"The end," I said simply.

There was uncertain applause at first, but then, it grew and soon, there were cheers and hoots and hollers. I raised my brows. Wow. Who knew the scientific community was so… vocal?

I waited for the applause to die down for the question and answer session. As soon as I asked for questions, at least twenty hands popped up. I sighed. And here I had wished to be thorough. Well, here goes…

Nick's POV

"So, how much do you know about her?" the blond man, Carlisle asked during the question and answer session. Danny had obviously been thorough, but some of the less well-read guests needed her to repeat some things. The woman, Esme, turned to look at me with interest as well. I looked at him. It was obvious what he was asking.

"She told me… a lot." I said, "Although I suspect she's still harboring some secrets." I sighed.

"Yes, she's been through a lot," Esme whispered, looking up at the beautiful red-head on the stage.

"Yeah, but she's strong. She's stronger than anyone I've ever known. She doesn't know it herself though. Has she always been so self-deprecating?"

"What do you mean?" Esme asked, alarmed.

"She seems to hate herself sometimes, because of what happened with Jacob. She thinks it's her fault. According to her, everything's her fault. She takes too much blame on herself," I laughed humorlessly, "She keep saying she'll hurt me, like she's hurt so many others. But look! I'm completely fine, if not better because of her. She saved me, in a way."

"That's regrettable," Carlisle said, "Danny's one of the purest souls I've ever met."

"Too bad she doesn't see it herself," I said. I thought about the time she completely broke down, after we returned from Forks. Maybe… Danny never told me anything about the vampire we saw. I wonder…

"If you don't mind me asking, who's the bronze-haired one?"

They stared at me.

"You mean, Edward?"

"Is that his name? She never told me anything about him. I know Alice, Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, and you and Esme, but she's never mentioned him. I knew she was leaving someone out, and not accidentally. We went to Forks one time, for Bella's birthday, to visit her. And we met Edward, accidentally, and Danny just, broke down. What do you make of that?"

Esme and Carlisle exchanged a glance, perplexed and disturbed. I waited impatiently for their response. They turned back to me, suddenly stern.

"Nick, tell me what exactly happened that day?" Carlisle asked.

"Nothing much. We were there. I was comforting Danny, because she was really crushed at seeing the grave again. And then, she just disappeared. Ran away. And when I looked up, I saw him, Edward, standing there, frozen like a statue, with the most crushed expression on _his_ face. It seemed like he was staring at the end of the world or something."

"So, that's why…" Esme breathed.

"Of course…" Carlisle said.

"What?" I asked, almost exploding.

"Nick, did Danny tell you about who Edward _is_?"

"Um… he's your adopted son?"

"Yes, yes" Esme said impatiently, "but besides that."

"Um… no?"

"Edward was Bella's fiancé. He was also the one who changed her, Danny that is," Esme clarified.

"Oh…" I said. And then, things began to click, "Oh!" Of course. I couldn't believe I didn't see this before. I knew Danny loved someone. How many times have I seen that all-too-familiar look on her face? But now I knew… Well, this was complicated.

"What?" Esme asked eagerly. I hesitated. I didn't know if Danny would want anyone to know. She never told me herself.

"Nothing," I said quickly, and then, "Tell me, what kind of relationship does Edward have with Danny?"

And then, they were on their guard.

"Edward's… confused, what with Bella's death and everything. He's trying to figure many things out. You see…"

"What are you guys talking about?" _Crap._

DPOV

I made my way toward Nick, Carlisle, and Esme. They were deep in conversation, but talking so low, that I couldn't hear them. I approached them curiously, stealthily.

"You see…" Carlisle began.

"What are you guys talking about?"

Nick stiffened, and turned around, a sheepish expression on his face. I raised my eyebrows at him.

"Not much, Danny. Great presentation, by the way. I think you've really done it. You've really found the cure," Carlisle said. I narrowed my eyes. I could tell he was avoiding something.

"In fact, I'm extremely interested to know what else you've been working on," Carlisle continued.

"Carlisle," I said, "you didn't answer my question."

Esme and Carlisle exchanged a glance.

"Well, we were just wondering…" Carlisle said uncomfortably.

"Whether you'd like to visit and stay with us for a while," Esme jumped in. I blinked in surprise. I wasn't expecting that.

"Yes," Carlisle said, "Alice is planning a wedding for herself and Jasper again, and I'm sure she'd love for you to come. It'll be right around the holidays, so you'll be on break anyway, right?"

I stared at him, completely caught off guard when his phone rang. Carlisle excused himself and looked at the ID.

He smiled, "Speaking of Alice… Hello?" He listened into the phone.

"She wants to speak to you, Danny."

Still dazed, I reached for the phone and lifted it to my ear.

"Hello?" I said tentatively. I hadn't heard Alice's voice in so long…

"OMG DANNY! YOU HAVE TO COME!!! IF YOU DON'T I WILL SERIOUSLY HUNT YOU DOWN! YOU ARE COMING, AREN'T YOU? I'M MAKING YOU MY MAID OF HONOR! SEE? YOU HAVE TO COME!" Alice screamed into my ear. I winced as I held the phone farther from my ear. There's Alice for you. Nick was staring at the phone in amusement.

"Alice… ALICE! Calm. Down," I told her. It became silent on the other end. Then,

"Please come, Danny? We've all missed you."

I sighed. I bet not all.

"I don't know, Alice. I don't know if I can handle it."

"Well, we're not in Forks for now. We're in Alaska with Tanya."

I blinked. Well, that's new.

"I don't know, Alice."

"Pleeeeeease?"

I thought about it, as I heard Alice's pleading in my ear and Carlisle's and Esme's expectant looks. If I didn't go… I thought of Carlisle's disappointed look, of Esme's hurt face. No, I couldn't do that. I didn't want to hurt Esme. But if I did go… could I handle it? Or would I just break down again? I turned around to Nick.

"Nick?"

"Sorry Danny," Nick said, shrugging, "I have to work. All those Christmas and New Year's parties, you know. You'll have to go by yourself." He put a hand on my shoulder and kneaded it, telling me without words that I'll be okay. If only I was as convinced of that as Nick was.

I bit my lip, still trying to decide. I really did miss them all so… maybe it'll be okay, if I saw them just this one time… I wouldn't hurt anyone. It'll only be for a couple of weeks. And besides, it wasn't in Forks, at least. I felt my resolve slipping away. But, first things first.

"Alice, how'd you know I was here?"

"Well, you've usually blocked me, which by the way, wasn't very nice. You cannot imagine the headaches that I got while trying to look for you."

"I'm sorry about the headaches, Alice, but maybe you shouldn't have tried to look for me," I said, exasperated, "There's a reason I didn't want you to know where I was!" Geez, even when I don't try to bug someone, I still do!

"Anyways, you must have been really surprised a couple of minutes ago, because your mind just cleared, and I saw you with Carlisle and Esme and here we are! But enough about that. Well…?"

I sighed, "You win."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" Oh. My. God. I almost dropped the phone as the scream reverberated around the room and people turned around to stare at us. Carlisle quickly grabbed the phone from me and hung up.

"She can call back when she calms down," he said, laughing.

"Yeah," I said shakily.

"I'm really glad you'll be coming back to us, Danny," Esme said, smiling, "It'll be nice to spend some time with you again."

"Yeah, sure," I said. But all I could think was, _What the hell have I gotten myself into?_

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There was an awkward silence in the cab as Nick and I waited in the still heavy traffic after the gala. There were hordes of cars in the road, even though it was two in the morning. I picked at the bow on my clutch as I looked out the window at the city lights, thinking about Carlisle and Esme and the coming trip to Alaska.

"So… Edward Cullen," Nick said. My hand stopped picking at the ridiculous bow and my head whipped around as I stared at him.

"What?" I breathed.

"What exactly is going on with you and him, Danny?" Nick said. I stared.

"Where the hell did you hear that?"

"No where. I figured it out."

"I never told you about him."

"Are you going to answer my question?"

I faced forward, seething. After all this time of trying to keep this from him, he figured it out! Was I really that obvious?

"You love him, don't you?"

I didn't answer. I wouldn't answer. I couldn't answer.

"Don't you?"

"Damn it, Nick. Does it matter? He's not mine. He's Bella's."

"Of course it matters, Danny. You love him. Besides, Bella's gone now."

"Yes, I'm aware of that, thank you," I spit out.

"No, listen to what I have to say. Bella's gone now. But she would still want you to be happy. Are you happy?"

"Perfectly," I snarled as the car finally came to a stop in front of the apartment complex. I scrambled out of the car and rushed into the building, to get away from Nick and his infernal questions. I didn't want to think about this! I'd spent all this time trying NOT to think about this exact subject and here he was, making me think about it! He caught up with me.

"You don't sound like it."

"You're asking me stupid questions," I muttered as I reached the doorway and fumbled with the key. I finally got the door open and stumbled inside. Damn heels. I kicked them off and tried to slam the door closed, not bothering to let Nick in first.

"It's not a stupid question!"

"It is! It's a stupid, futile question that's never going to do anyone any good."

"Are you in love with Edward Cullen?"

I whirled around, facing him.

"And what if I am?"

"Then you go get him."

"And what if he doesn't love me?"

"I find that hard to believe."

I scoffed, "_You_ do."

"So do you?"

"Do I _what_, Nick?"

"Love him?"

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath…"No."

"You're lying. You're in denial. I don't believe you."

"Then don't."

"You can't keep doing this, Danny. Remember after we got back from Forks? Remember that? If you don't fess up, that's just going to keep happening. Again. And again. And again."

I gasped, pain running through me as I did remember it. How could he bring this up again?

"You're wrong, Nick," I said stubbornly as I closed the door to my room, "conversation's over."

I leaned against the door, so that he wouldn't be able to come in. And thankfully, he didn't. I heard an exasperated sigh and then footsteps fading away from the other side of the door. After I was sure he wasn't going to keep badgering me, I walked into the bathroom, wriggled out of my dress and stepped into the shower, letting the running water soothe my frazzled nerves.

As I stood under the spray of water, I made a decision. I would go to Alice's wedding. Oh, yes. And I'd show Nick. I'd show him that I wouldn't break down again because of Edward. I'd show him that I harbored no feelings for my best friend's ex-fiancé. I would be strong and tough and I would make it through. Oh yes I would. But the little demon inside me laughed humorlessly, _if you could only convince yourself…_

**So… Danny's going back… things are gonna get more interesting…!**

**You may have noticed that I've started including song quotes at the beginnings of chapters. I thought they might enhance the emotions and meanings of the chapters. Anyways, what do you guys think? Do you like the song quotes or are they just annoying? Revieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!!! Please?**

**-starrytwilightgirl**


	29. Chapter 29 Deja Vu

**So, before I start this chapter, I'd just like to say a HUGE thank you to jazzowness for her continuous support. You. Are. Awesome. Mwah! Love ya!**

DPOV

_I saw you out last night  
You seemed so surprised  
That I could walk right by  
And not blink an eye  
To look at me you probably  
Think I'm doing fine  
Good thing that you can't read my mind_

You'll never know  
How much I miss you  
You won't see it in my face  
You'll never know I'll never find another  
That could take your place  
Cause I'll be smiling when I see you  
No my tears won't ever show  
Yeah I might always love you  
But you'll never know

"You'll Never Know"

Mindy McCready

I sat in the plane, feeling the strangest sense of déjà vu. Here I was again, in a plane, heading out to the west coast, for a wedding. I was, once again, the maid of honor. And once again, I had not slept a wink the night before. But this time, there was no excitement. All there was, was dread. Dread at meeting a certain individual, dread at my own reaction to said individual, dread to what he might think of me after so long. I closed my eyes, taking in deep breaths. _Be strong, Danny, be strong, be strong, be strong…_

I felt the jolt as the plane landed and then, fifteen minutes later, the hiss of the plane door as it opened to let passengers off. I sighed as I got up, collected my carry-ons, and stood in line to get off the damn tin can that I had been stuck in for the last three hours. I got off the plane and walked down the make-shift hallway. I paused right before I turned the bend that would bring me face to face with them all. I checked myself. Was I okay? No pain? No threat of imminent breakdown? None. Good. Only a slight nervousness. I reopened my eyes and strode forward, chin up as the light of the airport hit me. I scanned the terminal, a completely unnecessary task, as the scream reached my ears.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

"Oof," I huffed, staggering backwards as a blur of spiky dark hair and designer clothing hit me.

"Danny! Oh my god, you look so good! You haven't aged a bit," Alice teased.

"Yeah," I said, rolling my eyes, "I wonder why." The others reached me now. Carlisle took my bag from my hands and Emmett thumped me on the back. Rosalie tore Alice away.

"It's my turn now, Alice!" Rosalie said, as she hugged me too.

"We're all so glad you came," Esme said, beaming. Jasper smiled at me in his quiet way, nodding his head in acknowledgement of the same sentiments. However, there was one missing… I scanned the room for him. And then, déjà vu again, there he was, standing in a corner, looking more like perfection that anyone ever should, even though he was scowling at me. My heart throbbed a bit at the expression of anger and hostility that I was expecting, but I quickly quashed the rising anguish and gave him a tiny smile, silently asking him to forgive me, if he could, for whatever I had done. _Hello, Edward, _I thought towards him, intent on being polite at the least. His scowl faltered for a minute, and he looked rather pained. And then it was back in that perfect stone face. I sighed and tore my gaze away to smile at Esme. But she too was looking at Edward now, with an exasperated expression on her face. She caught me looking and threw on a smile.

"We are _all_ glad that you came," she said firmly, giving a quick stern glance to Edward that any normal person would have missed. _Sure they do._ She led me away toward the parking lot and I did my best to keep my eyes away from the sullen statue behind me.

EPOV

_Now you'll never see  
What you've done to me  
You can take back your memories  
They're no good to me  
And here's all your lies  
If you look me in the eyes  
With the sad, sad look  
That you wear so well_

Truth be told I miss you  
Truth be told I'm lying

When you see my face  
I hope it gives you hell, I hope it gives you hell  
When you walk my way  
I hope it gives you hell, I hope it gives you hell  
If you find a man that's worth the damn and treats you well  
Then he's a fool you're just as well hope it gives you hell

"Gives You Hell"

The All American Rejects

I stood by a pillar in the airport, trying to ignore the elated expressions on the face of my family around me. I could hear their thoughts.

_"Where is she?"_

_"Oh I'm so excited!"_

_  
"I can't wait to see her again."_

I scoffed. Esme turned around to look at me. _Edward, behave,_ she scolded. I looked away. I didn't want to be here. I didn't want to see her as she walked into my life again. I didn't want to feel what I knew I would feel when she did. She'd found someone else. She'd moved on. I should do the same. I closed my eyes, trying to shut out the annoying airport scene around me. I didn't care anymore about her. I had moved on.

But, if I had moved on, why do I feel so jittery? I shifted my weight from one foot to the other. The picture of our last meeting ran in my head like a movie. I lingered on the expression on her face, the one of complete dejection and hopelessness. I wonder what it was that had made her look like that. It certainly wasn't Bella. She hadn't looked like that before she noticed me. She merely looked sad. So… could it have been me? It wasn't the best-kept secret that she disliked me, maybe even hated me, but really? Well, I thought peevishly, I hoped she was really pissed at seeing me. I hoped it absolutely kills her when she sees me. I quashed the voice inside screaming no and scowled. She wasn't about to catch me off my guard again.

All these years I've wasted thinking about her, worrying about her… They were useless. She'd made them useless. I hoped she was happy with her mate; I hoped her mate was happy with her.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" Alice's scream made me open my eyes. And then there she was. My eyes caught her startled expression right before Alice rammed into her.

"Oof," she said, as she staggered back a little after Alice's impact. I stared, momentarily forgetting my grudge. Despite the fact that she had on an old tee-shirt, sweats, and a pair of beaten-up Converse, she still managed to look radiant, right down to her startling green eyes. Wait a minute… _green _eyes?! I lost sight of her as the others crowded around her, giving me time to compose myself. Damn. I'm letting her get to me already? _No, Edward, you don't care if her eyes are still green or not. Pull yourself together! _I re-arranged my features into a scowl, just as the crowd around her dispersed. She looked around the room and spotted me. I had meant my scowl to be intimidating, possibly even fearsome, so that she would know to stay the hell away from me, but all that I saw on her face was a sad expectancy, as if she expected me to be like this. And then… and then… her face lifted up into a tiny, tentative smile.

_"Hello, Edward," _she thought. And, despite all my preparation for this moment, it all came crashing down. The scowl slipped off my face and the pain took over. Conveyed in that tiny, seemingly insignificant smile, was all the pain and heartache of the past. All I really wanted to do was to hug her and kiss her like the others were taking liberties to do, but I knew I couldn't. She had someone else, I reminded myself. No, I wouldn't let that sad doeful look bring me down. And so, I replaced the frown firmly on my face and as I did, her smile fell a little bit as well. Good. Esme's frown caught my eye.

_Edward… be nice._ I didn't respond. Danny looked from her to me curiously and Esme turned around to her.

"We are _all_ glad that you came," Esme reiterated, emphasizing the all. I rolled my eyes. She quickly led Danny away and I let my scowl fall as I watched her walk away.

"You're not fooling anyone, you know," a low pixie voice said behind me.

"You don't know anything, Alice," I hissed, as she skipped past me.

"Don't I?" she laughed gaily, "Don't bet on it," and waltzed away. I huffed in exasperation and left in the opposite direction, willing this painful day to be over already, even as her green eyes mocked me from the back of my head.

DPOV

After much chatting and catching up, we finally reached the car in the parking lot. Now that I was actually here, it fully hit me how much I really missed all of them. Even Emmett with his annoying sidecracks was actually funny. I sighed. I was a pity that Nick couldn't come. I was sure that he would've loved the Cullens as well.

"Has anyone seen Edward?" Esme asked suddenly. I whirled around. She was right. Edward was gone. I had thought he was walking right behind us, but no, he was nowhere to be seen.

"Don't worry, he'll be home," Alice said. The family quieted, all looking at each other with looks ranging from worry to exasperation to annoyance.

"We'll talk to him later," said Carlisle as the chatting started up again. I looked at the ground, letting my hair hang around my face so that they wouldn't see my expression of pain. I knew exactly why Edward wasn't riding with us. Déjà vu again. I laughed bitterly.

"What's so funny, Danny?" Alice asked me curiously, as she motioned for me to get in the car.

"Oh, just an inside joke," I said, flashing her a smile, "nothing of consequence." And I got into the car.

The ride back to Tanya's house was like the trek to the parking lot. As we talked and I realized more and more how much I really loved the Cullens, I thought about the month ahead and having to leave. How would I ever be able to do it?

We pulled up at Tanya's house and a figure came rushing out.

"Oh my god, Danny! Kate! Carmen! Look who's here! It's Danny!" And three or more figures came rushing up to the vehicle, ripping open the door and almost hauling me out into their tight embrace. I only barely managed to undo my seatbelt so they wouldn't damage the car's nice leather interior.

"Tanya… can't… breathe…" I gasped.

"Well, you don't need to anyway, so shut up," Tanya said, but loosened her grip on me nonetheless. I smiled at the vampire who had found me when I was lying half-frozen in the snow and realized how much I'd missed her, too. My heart throbbed a little as my will to ever leave shrunk again.

"What, don't I get a hug too?" Kate whined and I laughed.

"Of course!" I said, and hugged her. After hugs were exchanged all around, we went inside to the house, which hadn't changed since I'd last been there, except that now, there was a grand piano in the living room that I hadn't seen at Tanya's house the last time I was here. It looked rather familiar, like I'd seen it before. I briefly wondered who played. Before I could voice my curiosity, the questions came like a hailstorm, hitting me from all sides. What have I been doing? Is it true that I found a cure for cancer? Do I really keep blood in my fridge? Have I met anyone? Where have I been living? My head spun as it whipped from person to person, trying to answer their question, but interrupted by another question before I could do so.

"Woah, woah, _woah_!" Carlisle laughed, stepping in front of me so that he was between me and the others, "let's give her a little time to catch her breath first!" There was silence for a second, and then…

"Can we start now?" Alice asked eagerly. I laughed.

"Sure, but one at a time though!" And so the deluge started. I recounted all that I'd done since I'd left Tanya's place more than seventy years ago. I told them about Princeton, about my years of toil to make enough money to go there. I told them about the research, teaching, my students, and the constant problem my youth presented.

"But, how did you deal with the sunlight?" Carlisle asked, "Did you just stay home on those days? Call in a substitute? Or just cover up whenever you went outside?"

"Sunscreen," I stated bluntly.

"Sunscreen?" They all repeated in confusion.

"Yeah. I mean, it wasn't as if I hadn't thought of that; I did. And so, I was trying to think of ways I could get around it, because it would be rather suspicious if I just missed days of class at a time. And as I thought, I realized something. We don't sparkle in just light. If that was true, we would sparkle all the time. But we only sparkle in _sunlight_. And the difference between sunlight and the normal light when the sun isn't out is…"

"Of course," Carlisle breathed, "the magnitude of the ultraviolet waves! Danny! That's genius! In fact, I'm rather disappointed that I never noticed myself."

"Well, it's not like we really ever have need of sunscreen," I said, "So your thoughts never turned to it. But I used to get sunburned really easily, so sunscreen had always been a must for me. I'm not that amazing for figuring it out. But anyways, sunscreen blocks enough of the UV rays so we wouldn't sparkle." They all stared at me as if I'd suddenly grown another head. I shifted uncomfortably in my chair. And then, like usual, the silence was broken by Emmett.

"Geek," he scoffed. I stuck my tongue out at him, but relieved that someone had finally spoken.

"Pea-brain," I shot back. Everyone laughed.

"Oh, Danny, you've grown into such a beautiful, intelligent young woman," Esme sighed. I smiled wistfully at her, the old adage popping into my mind that looks were deceiving.

"But what's this about a mystery man you're living with?" Alice asked pointedly, raising an eyebrow at me.

"What? What's this?" Carmen cried accusingly, "You never told us you met someone!"

My eyes widened, "Woah! Guys! You're taking this completely out of proportion! Nick's just a friend!"

"That you're living with…" Kate said, waggling her eyebrows at me.

"Yeah!" Rosalie added in, "Who knows what's been going on behind closed doors."

I shook my head, "It's not like that! He's JUST a friend. Believe me, I'm _so_ not his type."

"And what type is that?" asked Carmen. I hesitated, wondering if I should tell them. Would Nick really mind? He wasn't ashamed of who he was; he'd just always kept it hidden out of necessity. And the Cullens and Tanya's coven were people whom I knew to be very accepting. I was sure that Nick wouldn't mind. In fact, if he were here, he would probably tell them himself.

"Female," I finally answered. There was a moment of confusion, and then one by one, understanding dawned on their faces.

"Oh…" Alice said, and then, "That's so cool! I've never met a gay vampire before! What's he like?"

I smiled; I knew they'd take to Nick, "In fact, he's rather like you Alice. If it weren't for him, I'd still be living in ratty old t-shirts and sweats. He's a stylist."

"Oh! I like him already," Alice said, "When can I meet him? I want to compare notes! Does he think that green looks amazing on you, too?"

"Oh I bet you'd like him," I muttered darkly. If there was one thing that Alice and Nick had in common, it was that they loved playing dress-up. Just not with their own bodies.

"Danny," Tanya interrupted suddenly, "are you wearing contacts?" I frowned at her, puzzled.

"No, why would I be?"

"Well, your eyes… they… they're green! I didn't notice until now, but Danny… they're green!" There was a small stampede as everyone rushed in front of me.

"Why, it's true!"

"How strange! You think maybe it's her diet? Danny dear, what have you been eating?"

"Danny, you're a freak." Obviously Emmett. And then a slap and a whine. Obviously Rosalie.

"No, no! Look! It's not all green. You see? There's some streaks of gold in there too! I didn't see it from far away, but you can really see it up close. It's like a hologram almost. You have to see it from a certain angle."

I frowned. I'd never given much thought to my eyes. I'd always thought that it was because green was my original eye color and that all the Cullens just naturally had golden eyes when they were human as well. But I suppose not. My eye caught Carlisle's and I took note of the thoughtful expression on his face.

"Carlisle?" I asked.

"I have a theory, Danny… if you don't mind."

"Of course not. Go ahead. I'd more than love for you to prove that I'm not a freak," I said, glaring at Emmett, who hung his head in mock remorse, all the while smirking at me.

"Well, do you remember your transformation?" Carlisle said cautiously, then added, "Don't think about it if it's too much for you."

I nodded, "Sure I do." Besides, it wasn't the transformation that was painful. In fact, it was rather pleasant. It was what had occurred before and after that I didn't want to dwell on.

"Then you remember it all happened rather fast. It took one day for the transformation to be complete, instead of the usual three."

Tanya's eyes widened, "How is that possible?"

"I think…" Carlisle started and then stopped abruptly, looking at me curiously. He went on, "I'm not entirely sure how it's possible, Tanya, but the proof's right in front of you." I looked at him, my eyes narrowed, not missing the fact that he said he wasn't _entirely sure_, not that he didn't know. I made up my mind to ask him about it later.

"So," Carlisle continued, "I think that because her transformation went by so fast, the venom missed some things, for lack of a better word. Such as her eye color."

"Carlisle," Esme whispered worriedly, "you don't think anything else was left out do you? What I mean to say is, is she as… strong… as the rest of us, or is she a bit more breakable?"

It was just like Esme to worry when there was nothing to worry about.

"Don't worry, Esme," I reassured her, "I'm sure it's just my eye color. Really, there's nothing to worry about! There's nothing wrong with me."

Esme looked at me doubtfully, the worried glance still in her eyes. A silence fell on the room as everyone looked at me intently, as if fixed on finding some physical flaw on my person. I looked down at my fingers. I was the odd one out again. The weirdo. The freak. Like I had been in high school and for the past seventy-odd years. Great.

"We don't think you're a freak, Danny," Jasper said, picking up on my mood, "We're just rather fascinated… because you're… unique. There's never been another vampire quite like you before."

I snorted. Ha! How many times have I heard that? So many times that I'd come home, fuming over some stupid prank the jocks played on me, to my mom saying that I was only unique. Right. If only she knew that all I was now was uniquely screwed up.

Alice broke the silence, "Tell me more about Nick, Danny. How'd you meet him?"

And so it went on as everyone relaxed again. At one point, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Esme tap Tanya on the shoulder and lead her a space away from our group. As I continued talking, I curiously listened to what they were saying.

"Has Edward come back yet?" Esme asked.

Tanya frowned, "No. He did call though… said that he'll be back later."

Esme sighed, "That boy. Sometimes, I don't know what's going on inside that head of his!"

"Esme, what's going on?" Tanya asked, "It doesn't have anything to do with…" She glanced at me and I made sure that my gaze was averted and that I was still talking.

"I guess you heard all the ruckus this morning didn't you?" Esme grimaced.

"Oh I think the whole town heard it," Tanya said, chuckling a bit.

"I don't know what happened… I thought that he would be happy to see her, but… I don't know. I don't know _exactly _what happened, but he came home one day and he was just… different… angrier…"

"What exactly is going on between him and… between them?" Tanya said cautiously, almost as if speaking my name would alert me to their conversation.

"I can't say at this moment Tanya, but maybe I can tell you in the future… hopefully the near future," Esme said sadly.

They stopped talking, returning to the group. I blocked my emotions from Jasper as I carefully thought about what they had said. Edward had gotten into a shouting match over picking me up at the airport? I suppose I wasn't surprised. I was surprised that he felt so strongly about it that he would argue with his family over it, but I wasn't surprised that he didn't want to go. It was pretty evident on his face when I first saw him.

"Danny, you okay? You look rather dazed," Carlisle said.

"No, no, I'm fine. I just… thought of something, that's all."

"Either way, let's continue this another time. I think you should get yourself upstairs. You've had a long trip."

"I should get upstairs and do what? Sleep?" I laughed. I got up and started to head up anyways, because I _was_ a bit tired of answering so many questions about my life. I wasn't used to it. The others started getting up as well, extracting promises from me to tell them more later. Carmen and Eleazar left with the excuse of needing to do some hunting.

Carlisle laughed, "No, but I'm sure you have other things to do. Your room is the third down the hall."

And so, with a last wave, I headed upstairs.

I entered the room and closed the door, leaning against it and letting out a big huff of air. So far, so good. I hadn't broken down. Yet. _No, Danny, don't be so pessimistic,_ I then countered, berating myself for being so negative, _you'll make it through. You WILL. You have to convince them that you've been fine and that you _will _be fine._ And so with my mind set, I marched over to the pile of bags at the foot of the bed and took out my laptop, determined to be as calm and controlled as possible. I sat on the bed and powered the metallic square on, tapping my finger as I waited for it to load up. I logged on to the chat site and looked to see if toomoodyforwords was on. He wasn't. I sighed. I was hoping to ask him what he thought of Machiavelli today, whether the end really _did _justify the means, but no such luck. Maybe he'll be back. However, Nick was on and I opened the chat window.

**smartass18**: _Hey, Nick. How're you holding up?_

**fashionguru96: **_What do you mean how am I holding up? I can get along just fine without you._

I narrowed my eyes at his touchy tone. Something was up.

**smartass18: **_Okay, Nick. _What_ did you do?_

**fashionguru96: **_Why do you always assume that I did something? Maybe everything's just peachy!_

**smartass18: **_…_

**fashionguru96: **_Okay, FINE. I think the dryer swallowed one of my socks. Or two. Or maybe a couple…_

My eyes widened.

**smartass18**: _Oh God Nick, what did you do?! You didn't break it again did you?_

**fashionguru96: **_It'll be okay, Danny! I'll buy another one. A better one than that crappy hunk of metal. Seriously, it's not that bad. There wasn't even any smoke damage._

**smartass18: **_WHAT?! _Smoke_ damage?!?! Nick! What did you do to the poor thing?_

**fashionguru96**: _Nothing! I swear! _

**smartass18**: _Okay, Nick. Tell me. What really happened? Don't you even think about lying to me!_

**fashionguru96: **_Well, if you really want to know that badly…_

**smartass18**: _YES!  
_

**fashionguru96: **_Well, I put a load into the dryer and I pushed the button and it was working quite well. But then, maybe fifteen minutes later, I hear this weird thumping sound and along with it there was this smell of something burning. So of course, I go running into the laundry room and the dryer's jumping up and down like it's being tortured. And it's on fire._

I read the words on the screen, horrified.

**smartass18**: _NICK! What did you DO?!_

**fashionguru96: **_I don't know!_

**smartass18**: _Well, how many loads had you done?_

**fashionguru96: **_Um, I think it was my tenth load?_

**smartass18**: _Did you clean the lint filter?_

**fashionguru96: **_…_

**smartass18**: _Nick! _

**fashionguru96: **_Well, how was I supposed to know that?!  
_

**smartass18**: _UGH! Nick! Anyone with the least amount of common sense knows that!_

**fashionguru96: **_… Well, the fire's put out._

**smartass18**: _Are YOU okay?_

**fashionguru96: **_I'm fine._

I took a deep breath and let it out.

**smartass18**: _Well, good. I'm glad you're not hurt._

**fashionguru96: **_So… you're not mad at me?_

**smartass18**: _Nick, you're an idiot._

**fashionguru96: **_:(_

**smartass18**: _But you're a loveable idiot. _

**fashionguru96: **_:)_

I sighed.

**smartass18**: _Now tell me. Really. How much damage is there?_

**fashionguru96: **_Well…_

**smartass18**: _Nick._

**fashionguru96: **Some _of the laundry room is damaged…_

**smartass18: **_Some?_

**fashionguru96: **_Okay fine. All. But I swear I'll have it all fixed by the time you get back._

I groaned.

**smartass18**: _Well, don't do anything stupid._

**fashionguru96**: _Me? Do anything stupid? Surely you jest._

**smartass18**: _I don't know Nick. Maybe I should go back… help out a bit. I'm sure Alice would understand…_

**fashionguru96: **_No! Are you out of your mind?! _

**smartass18**: _I just don't want you to hurt yourself, Nick._

**fashionguru96: **_Ugh! Danny! How many times do I have to say it? I'LL! BE! OKAY! Alright? God! Will you stop baby-ing me?!._

I rolled my eyes. Having Nick, I _never_ wanted to have kids. Ever.

**smartass18**: _Okay, okay!  
_

**fashionguru96: **_Good. By the way, how are things?_

**smartass18: **_They're great. I didn't realize how much I actually missed all of them. I wish you'd come. You'd like them. They already love you._

**fashionguru96: **_Hmm. How's Edward?_

**smartass18: **_Stop it, Nick._

**fashionguru96: **_What? I'm not allowed to ask that?_

**smartass18: **_You know why I'm annoyed. When are you ever going to get it into your head that I'm never going to answer that question?_

**fashionguru96: **_Calm down, Danny. Just tell me how he was and I swear we won't talk about him._

**smartass18:** _Really now?_

**fashionguru96: **_Promise. 0:)_

**smartass18: **_Edward's fine._

**fashionguru96: **_That's all you're gonna give me?!  
_

**smartass18: **_What more do you want?  
_

**fashionguru96: **_What did he do? What was his reaction? Com'on, Danny!  
_

**smartass18: **_I swear, Nick. Why don't you just marry him yourself?_

**fashionguru96:**_ …_

**smartass18: **_He wasn't happy to see me._

**fashionguru96: **_What do you mean he wasn't happy to see you? Of course he was!_

**smartass18: **_You didn't see his face, Nick, at the airport. It was… He wasn't happy. _

**fashionguru96: **_I'm sure you're overreacting Danny. It couldn't have been you. He probably loves you. I don't know why anyone would not._

**smartass18:**_ Don't you?_

**fashionguru96: **_Don't start _that _again, Danny. It wasn't your fault._

**smartass18: **_I've hurt him so much…_

**fashionguru96: **_So you DO love him._

**smartass18: **_That's it. I'm logging off now._

**fashionguru96: **_No, Danny! Wait!  
_

**smartass18: **_Goodbye, Nick._

And I clicked the browser window closed. I put my face in my hands and rubbed it, as if I might actually rub away all those thoughts about Edward, especially the thoughts that I weren't supposed to have. I forcefully turned my thoughts to Nick and his accident. I caught myself by surprise when I laughed. I imagined Nick standing there in surprise and confusion, wondering why the hell the dryer was on fire. Poor idiot. And then I sobered up. I should make sure he was okay... I jumped off of the bed and went out to the hall, hoping that Alice had not gone out.

"Alice?" I called.

"Yeah?" a chipper voice drifted from downstairs. I smiled. At least they stopped asking what's wrong. Maybe things _will _be better.

"Can I ask you a favor?"

She appeared right by my side, "What's up?"

"Can you see what Nick's gonna do for me? Apparently he burned up our dryer and the whole laundry room along with it and I just wanna make sure he's okay."

Alice stared for a few minutes and then burst out laughing. After she'd calmed down, she said, "But, Danny, don't you have my gift? Why don't you do it yourself? I mean, not that I'm not willing to help you, but, you are able to do it yourself, right?"

"Yeah," I admitted, "but I don't know, it feels kind of disrespectful, to just take people's gifts and use it. It doesn't feel right."

"Well, you have my permission to use my gift whenever you want, Danny. Thanks for being so thoughtful anyway. You _should_ use your gift, though. But I'll humor you this time, if you want."

"Thanks, Alice," I said. She closed her eyes for a few minutes, completely still in her concentration.

"Oh!" She said, as her eyes flew open.

"What? What happened?" I asked, instantly worried.

"He _did _burn down the laundry room, but…"

"But…?"

"Well, it was a bit more than the laundry room; maybe a third to half of the living room is burnt, too," she snickered.

"Nick," I growled.

"But don't worry. He's gonna call a contractor to come fix everything. But he can't find the phone book. I see that you're gonna text him where it is."

I shook my head in exasperation, "Nick is… yeah. But anyways, thanks Alice. I really appreciate it."

"No problem, Danny. I hope you get your living room all fixed up."

"For Nick's sake, it had better be by the time I get back," I replied, "I better go tell him where the phone book is before he goes nuts."

Alice laughed again, "Please do."

As I turned around to leave, a sudden thought took hold of my mind, and kept nagging me, not letting go. I turned back around.

"Hey Alice?"

"Yeah?"

"One more thing," I hesitated. Alice waited expectantly.

"How bad is it?"

Alice frowned, "What do you mean?"

"How much does he really hate me? Edward, I mean."

"Danny, Edward doesn't hate you."

"But he—he yelled at you guys this morning. Just because he didn't want to come to the airport."

"How'd you know that?"

_Oops. Me and my big mouth. _"Never mind how I knew. It happened, and that's all that matters. I'm wondering if this is a good idea, Alice. I don't want to make him mad, or kick him out of his own house. I know he's not back yet, and I know it's because of me."

A fierce look came into Alice's eyes and she put her hands on my shoulders, looking me in the eyes, "Danny. Don't think that. Edward's just being a knucklehead. He's had a difficult time. A lot of things happened since you've been gone. But trust me when I say that he does not hate you. Okay? He's just wallowing in his own, self-conceived misery. Really. I bet you have nothing to do with it. It's just Edward. He's moody. So don't worry, okay?"

I sighed. Alice's words did make me feel better, but inside, I knew better.

"Sure, Alice. Thanks."

"No problem. And _stop worrying._ That's not a suggestion. You're gonna get frown lines on that pretty face of yours."

I smiled at her to convince her I was fine and she let go of me.

"Thanks."

"Of course. But go! Tell Nick where the phone book is before he freaks out."

I laughed and went to retrieve my cell phone. I sent the text and carefully put the phone away, thinking about what Alice had said. A lot of stuff had happened since I've been gone… I felt guilty. I'd left the Cullens with a lot of crap to deal with. I hadn't even thought of that when I left. Like with Jacob. What happened with that? Did Billy know it was me? Or did he suspect the Cullens? Did Billy press charges? Did the Cullens have to run? How'd they deal with Charlie? And my parents? My head felt like it was about to burst with this new information. Suddenly, I needed to find out. Find out exactly how much damage I'd left in my wake. My mind made up, I zoomed off to find Carlisle. I followed his scent to the first door before the staircase and knocked.

"Come in," Carlisle said. I slipped into what seemed like an exact replica of his office as I remembered it back in Forks. I blinked for a while, disoriented as I was transported back to another time, when I'd knocked on his door to find out everything I could about vampires. The irony didn't escape me as a wry smile twitched my lips.

"Hello, Carlisle," I said.

"Good evening, Danny," Carlisle said, "did you need something."

"Sort of. I need to talk with you. Would you mind taking a walk with me?"

Carlisle appraised my face, "Are you okay, Danny?"

"Huh? Yeah, yeah. It's just… being back brings back a lot of memories… It's really nothing," I said.

"Is that what you want to talk about?"

"No, no. Not exactly."

"Okay, well, just a minute then." And he saved whatever he was working and showed me out the door.

**Okay… so really weird place to stop, I know. Sorry! But the chapter was getting rather long…so… yeah. I was having some problems with this chapter, which is why it took me so long. But anyways, tell me, what do YOU think happened after Danny left??? REVIEWREVIEWREVIEW… please.**

**-starrytwilightgirl**


	30. Chapter 30 Recollections

**Hey you guys!**

**Thanks sooo much for waiting. School has been absolutely crazy. Don't you think it's retarded to have work in AP classes after AP exams? Absolute stupidity! Anyways, since you have been sooooo good and patient, I've put up TWO chapters! Enjoy!**

**-starrytwilightgirl**

_When you try your best but you don't succeed  
When you get what you want but not what you need  
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep  
Stuck in reverse._

"Fix You"

Coldplay

DPOV

I walked along the cold ground, feeling the crunch of the snow under my boots. It was a cold, cold night, but of course I couldn't feel it. I looked up at the amazingly starry sky, lost in my thoughts. You certainly couldn't see the sky like this in New York… We'd been walking for a while before Carlisle cleared his throat.

"What did you want to talk to me about, Danny?" He asked.

I stopped, surprised, and looked around. It seemed like we were halfway to Canada by now.

"I'm sorry, Carlisle. I guess I kind of got lost in my own little world there for a second."

"That's okay," Carlisle assured me, and then fell silent, waiting for me to start. I took a deep breath, feeling the crispness of the air around me swirl around in my iron lungs.

"What happened after I left?"

"Well, a lot of things happened after you left, Danny…" Carlisle said evasively.

"Well… what happened with… with J-Jacob?" I stuttered, the name sounding rusty falling from my lips, as I hadn't dared utter it in so long…

Carlisle looked at me critically, as if trying to decide whether I was composed enough to have this conversation. I tried to look as sane as possible. He sighed.

"Well, it certainly was a sticky situation," he said, and then winced at the same time I did for the poor choice of words. "Sorry," he added and I nodded.

"You obviously know what Jacob is by now."

"Of couse," I said, "a werewolf."

Carlisle hesitated, "Well, not exactly. They are what we would call shape-shifters rather than actual werewolves. True werewolves cannot change by will."

I frowned my confusion.

"You see, Jacob and his tribe are special. Their… condition, I guess you can say, is passed down from generation to generation. In other words, it's genetic. However, not every generation experiences the change. It's only when we, vampires that is, are near, that they morph."

I frowned, "Why is that?"

"Well, we're their natural enemies." All he got was a blank stare… "They are the guardians of their village and they are supposed to keep their people, and those around them, from harm."

"But we," I started, and then stopped and corrected myself, "you wouldn't hurt any of them."

"We wouldn't," Carlisle said, "but there are others who don't live our way of life that would. As a result, every time a vampire comes upon Forks, some Quileute descendents morph to protect the village."

I nodded as it began to make sense now. So this was why Edward didn't like Jacob… natural enemies… huh. And now with a jolt, it came to me that it might be because of Bella as well, since Jacob loved her, too. But that still didn't explain why he was so reluctant for me to go out with him…

"I don't understand how this fits into what happened after I left, Carlisle."

"Well, I told you that they were our natural enemies. As a result, when we first moved to Forks some 150 odd years ago, obviously it presented a problem. The wolves weren't comfortable with so many vampires near their terrain."

"So what happened?"

"We struck a treaty. I managed to convince them that we meant no harm to the humans around us. So they let us stay, on the condition that we not bite or harm any human in the area or cross over to their reservation. Thus, the treaty line came into being. We made a pact that if any one of us broke the rules, if say we harmed one of them or they harmed one of us, it would mean war."

I shivered. So many pieces were falling into place now. A memory of Bella flashed back to me. It seemed ages ago, when we sat in the kitchen and she told me that Edward was so close to crossing the treaty line… I hadn't known what she'd meant by that, but I did now. I was surprised that Edward was so willing to risk war. But still another thing bugged me.

"Why wasn't I told about any of this?"

"It wasn't our secret to tell. The wolves are not something that is taken lightly amongst the Quileute tribe. So much that you might not even know that your own brother was a wolf."

"Hmm…" I thought about it for a minute, "but why was Edward so adverse to Jacob and I? Well, before… it… happened that is."

Carlisle looked at me strangely, but then shook his head and said, "Well, the wolves are extremely volatile. Whether they morph or not is all connected to their emotions. Have you met Emily?"

I flipped through my brain, and remembered, "Oh yeah! Poor Emily…I'm surprised that she isn't absolutely terrified of bears now."

Carlisle stared at me, like I was missing something and I stared back before suddenly, I got it.

"Oh… oh! You mean…"

Carlisle nodded.

"Who?"

"Sam."

"Sam?! But he…"

"I know. But he lost control for one second. It wasn't easy on him, having to look at those scars every day of his life and knowing that he did that to her." I looked at the ground, contemplating this new information. Fate truly was cruel sometimes.

"So Edward thought that would happen to me."

Carlisle nodded.

"Well, I guess he was right then, as always," I said bitterly.

"He didn't want to be, Danny. You must know that," Carlisle said.

"Yeah, I know," I finished softly, and added _though I'm not exactly sure why_ in my head. "But still, what happened afterwards?"

"We broke the treaty."

"How? You didn't kill anyone."

"Well, technically we did. Your heart's not beating anymore."

"Oh. Right. But I'm still alive. Kind of."

"Ah. But there's the crux of the matter. They believe that being a vampire is a fate worse than death. Also, the treaty requested that we not _bite_ any human. Furthermore, we crossed the treaty line."

"That's…pretty substantial."

"Yes, it is."

"So…was there a war?" I asked, fearfully imagining the Cullens in a death match against the wolves. No matter who would have won, some of my friends could have gotten hurt, or worse, killed.

"No."

I let out my breath in relief.

"You see, what Jacob did presented a complication. No wolf had ever done that before—gone back on their status of protector I mean. Instead of protecting you, he—well, I need not repeat it. And what's more, he did it willingly. You can't violate someone like by accident. It wasn't like Sam, who had simply morphed too close to Emily. Jacob did it when he was still human. Thus, the treaty became more or less moot at that moment."

"And Jacob's death only made it worse," I finished for Carlisle, "I'm sorry that I added another tick mark to your score sheet." _Great. Another thing to hate about myself._

Carlisle frowned, "Actually, no."

I raised my eyebrows, "No?"

"Edward would have killed him anyway, and it was very noble of you to try and stop him, especially since you were the victim."

"But… I don't understand… the treaty…"

"Was moot," Carlisle finished, "And besides, the wolves decided to banish Jacob as a protector of the tribe. Once a wolf does something like this, once they turn their back on their duties, they have revoked the privilege of being a part of the tribe. Not that I see that as a reason to kill Jacob anyways. I begged Edward not to go, but he wouldn't listen. He was absolutely enraged. Our kind doesn't forgive something like this so easily. There was no way I could stop him. Mostly, I'm surprised that you did."

"Like it mattered," I said bitterly, "I only finished him off anyways."

"I wish you wouldn't be so hard on yourself, Danny. You couldn't help it. Edward should have taken better care of you, he should have known better…"

"To lock me up as soon as he saw me and throw away the key?" I finished.

"Of course not! He should have known better than to let you do something you would later regret."

"Don't blame Edward, Carlisle. He did try. Honestly. But," I shuddered as I remembered the broken trees around me, and the last part came out in a whisper, "I was too strong for him. I… I think I hurt him when he was trying to stop me. The trees… they were all broken."

"You don't give Edward enough credit, Danny. I'm sure he wasn't hurt at all. He's a strong boy. And besides, he's endured worse pain. But…"

"But?"

"I wish you would stop beating yourself up over everything Danny. When are you going to realize that none of this was your fault?"

I huffed. Carlisle didn't understand. I would never realize it, because it wasn't true. It _was_ all my fault. Jacob. Bella. Edward. My parents. Everything. I _should_ be locked up. But, knowing that there was no point in arguing with Carlisle, I let it go.

"So what happened after I left?"

"Well, after Jacob died, Alice saw exactly what happened. At that point we were debating whether we should approach the wolves first. But then, that flew out the window. We were just about to hold a meeting with the wolves, but we held that off. The wolves agreed with us that you were the first priority."

"The wolves agreed that I… ME?!!... what? Why in the world…" I spluttered, but then trailed off, realizing exactly why I was their first priority. I was on the wanted list. I was dangerous. I shuddered. Carlisle knew exactly what I was thinking and he rushed to reassure me.

"You didn't hurt anyone though, Danny, and that's all that matters. In fact, I'm quite proud of you. Having gone months with nothing to quench your thirst and still, you held back from the seal that Tanya offered you. That's quite incredible."

"Jacob?" I asked darkly.

"Jacob doesn't count. It _wasn't your fault_, Danny. You didn't know that the thirst would be so strong. No one had thought to warn you."

I sighed, "Sure, Carlisle, whatever you say. Go on."

Carlisle looked at me again, as if assessing whether I really did believe him now, but I kept my face as blank as possible, so he sighed and continued.

"Well, Edward had already gotten a head start, so we followed his trail instead of yours, because at that point, Alice could only see him. You did quite a thorough job in blocking her out. Of course, we didn't know that at the time and we were obviously very worried about why Alice suddenly couldn't see you. We were afraid that we were going to lose you, the _first_ and _foremost_ reason why you were our first priority." He stressed the last sentence and I nodded absentmindedly, inwardly disagreeing with his assessment.

"Well, we searched and we searched and we searched, but you're quite good at making yourself hidden when you didn't want to be found. We searched for weeks before we finally accepted that either you were going to show up willingly, or never show up at all. Edward was the last one to come home."

I frowned at the last statement. _Edward was the last one to come home_… why? Did he believe I was that dangerous, that I couldn't be left alone? But if that was the case, why did he let me go so easily the night I left Tanya's? Carlisle continued speaking, breaking my train of thought.

"So after Edward got home, we and the wolves arranged for a council to decide, first of all, how to deal with the treaty, and second of all, how to deal with your disappearance, as well as Jacob's. Your parents and Charlie were desperate for answers. All we had told them then, was that you had simply disappeared, along with Jacob. That you two had gone for a walk in the woods and had simply never come back."

My throat constricted at the mention of my parents. They had come to Forks?

"They came here? I mean, there?" I croaked out.

"Of course. They were… desperate… for answers."

I nodded silently, knowing that Carlisle was editing a great deal for my comfort. I cleared my throat and brushed the pain away.

"So… what did you and the wolves decide?"

"Well, it was quite a tense atmosphere. No one was really sure what was going to happen, but with Jasper there, everyone was able to remain quite calm. As we talked it out, the wolves conceded that Jacob's death was not to be considered in violation of the treaty, as it was something that their own kind would have done if what happened to you had happened to one of their own. Werewolves have as strong a bind to their mates as we do to ours. When Sam did what he did to Emily, he tried to kill himself in so many ways. The only thing that stopped him was that Emily wanted him to stay with her."

"So, that's that? Problem solved?"

"Not exactly. You see, there's still the matter of you."

"Me again?"

"Yes. We weren't supposed to change you remember?"

"Oh. Right."

"The wolves were decidedly angry that we had violated the treaty in that way. In their opinion, it was better to leave you human, whether you lived or not, than to be changed into monsters like us."

"I don't think _you're_ a monster," I mumbled.

Carlisle smiled ruefully, "Ah. But that's not what the wolves think. Of course, we argued that if you died, it would be a terrible waste of a bright future. You were young. You had your whole life out in front of you… so many opportunities, so many roads you could have taken and it wasn't fair that that should be so cruelly and violently taken away from you. You should have a chance to fulfill whatever your wishes were for the future. Happily, you proved us right. If we hadn't changed you… think of all the other people who would have died from cancer."

"You overestimate me. It would have been found sooner or later. I just happened to be the first."

"But you don't know that," Carlisle contradicted, "and that was our whole point in our argument for your transformation. Of course the wolves didn't buy it. But finally, we managed to convince them that…" Carlisle hesitated.

"What?" I asked.

"We managed to convinced them that, if you had died… like that… your parents and Charlie would have to know exactly _how_ you died, and who did it. There would have been no way around it."

"Oh. So you convinced them, that it would have been easier for my family to not know what happened to me, then know the truth right?"

"And that it would be easier for the tribe, too. Jacob's actions shouldn't affect the tribe any more that they already were."

"And that convinced them?"

"Yes. We finally reached the agreement that the treaty line would be eradicated, but that if any of us bit another human being again, they would have the option of taking us down. But, if any of them touched one of us, we would have the same option."

"That's… pretty much the same as the old treaty. Except… no treaty line."

"After many attempts at trying to catch intruders in the two years before you came along, we figured out that the treaty line only made things more complicated than they had to be."

"So that's it?"

"That's it."

"You can go back to Forks?"

"Yes, we can go back to Forks."

I sighed, relieved that no one had gotten hurt, but still…

We walked in silence for a while. I could feel Carlisle's eyes upon my face, assessing my reaction. And I tried to keep a poker face on, I did, but the new information kept bouncing around in my head and distracting me. Finally, Carlisle groaned.

"Oh, Danny, really? We've been over this!"

"Don't you ever wonder Carlisle? About how much easier life would have been if you hadn't changed me?"

"If we hadn't changed you, Danny, you'd be in the grave right now."

I remained silent, still pondering the concept, and Carlisle's eyes grew wide. He walked two steps faster and whipped around to block my path, looking me in the face.

"Danny. You can't seriously believe that you should have died that day?"

"Well, think about it Carlisle! If I'd died that day, like for real died, you would have had no trouble with the wolves. My parents would have known what had happened to me at least. You wouldn't have wasted all that time and effort searching for me. Jacob would still be alive. Edward wouldn't be so miserable all the time, and he wouldn't have gotten into a huge fight with you all this morning…" I was ranting.

"Is that what this is all about? Edward?" Carlisle asked pointedly.

"What? No, of course not!" I stuttered defensively, "Didn't I just list all those other reasons?"

"Danny? Do you _really _think that your death would have made that much of a difference in how events played out? No wait, I take that back. It would have made a huge difference. The world would have lost one of the kindest, purest souls I have ever known. The scientific world would be robbed of your amazingly insightful research. Nick wouldn't have found you as a friend. Need I go on?"

"No," I said, disgusted with myself. I was truly a wolf in lamb's clothing, "That's already way over the top."

Carlisle ignored my snide comment, and said, "But still, your death would have made no difference to how things turned out in Forks. Do you really think that if you died, you could have saved Jacob? He would have died anyway? We couldn't hold Edward back when you were safely indestructible. Do you think we could have held him back any better if you had _died_? And you're parents… weren't you listening to me? Is it really that much better for them to have known the horrible way in which you would have died? Would it have made their pain any better?"

"They died anyway. From heartbreak," I whispered. Carlisle sighed.

"Yes, I'd heard that… from Charlie. I'm sorry. When did you find out?"

"Half-a-century ago. I went back home and… they were gone. Someone else was living in my parents' house. They died from heartbreak, Carlisle. I broke their heart." My voice broke. Carlisle stopped, wrapping his arms around me in a comforting hug, and pressed his lips to the top of my head, which only made the pain worse, because it reminded me so much of my own father… how he used to give me hugs at really random moments, only pulling away when I complained of possibly dying of terminal embarrassment, how he used to mess up my hair, how he used to chase me around the house when I was little, how he said, of all the things in the world, I was the thing he was the most proud of… If only he could see me now… what would he think?

"I'm sorry you had to find out that way, Danny. Still, your death would have changed nothing. So, please, don't go thinking anymore that you'd be better off dead. It makes me nervous."

I nodded mutely.

"As for Edward…"

I stiffened for a thousandth of a millisecond, and then relaxed. Carlisle didn't notice.

"…Edward has his own problems, and they're more to do with him than to do with you. Don't. Worry. Alright?"

I sighed, "Okay."

"How'd you know about the fight this morning anyway?" Carlisle asked curiously. I froze. Crap. Too much info.

"Um… lucky guess? He didn't seem… happy… to be at the airport this morning."

Carlisle let out a huff of breath in exasperation, "That boy. He doesn't know what he wants even though it's obvious to everyone else."

I looked at Carlisle in puzzlement, but he didn't elaborate, so I just decided to drop to subject. Something else was on my mind.

"Carlisle?"

"Yes?"

"Why—why did Edward change me? Did you make him?"

"No."

"Then why? He hates my guts… why would he still want me around?" Was it just me or did Carlisle's eyes darken?

"He does _not_ hate you, Danny. He loves you, like everyone else," he said carefully.

"I find that hard to believe."

"I told you, Danny. Edward has his own problems, but they have little to do with you. He chose to change you himself. No one made him."

I shook my head in puzzlement. None of it made any sense. How could Edward not hate me? He had many reasons and the pain and hurt just radiates out from him whenever I'm present. How could he not hate me?

"You don't believe me," Carlisle said. I shook my head slowly. Carlisle sighed.

"Well, I hope he'll show you someday…"

"Show me what?"

"That you're wrong."

I opened my mouth to argue, but he interrupted me.

"Look, we're almost home," Carlisle said. And so we were. I could make out a faint glimmer of light amid the trees ahead. But I had one more thing I had to ask Carlisle, one more thing that had been bugging me ever since we started on this walk.

"Carlisle?"

"Yes?"

"How was Charlie? And Renée? And Billy?"

"Charlie lived a long life. Of course, he grieved for you and Bella a long while, but Billy was nearly always there, which was a definite godsend."

I nodded, "Billy could empathize. He understood. He knew what Charlie was going though."

"Exactly. So Billy and Charlie helped each other cope with their loss."

"And Renée?"

"Renée lived a long life as well and she had Phil to distract her. In fact, Renée actually had another child."

My ears perked up with interest, "Really?"

"Yes. She was a beautiful little girl. Charlie showed me a picture of her. She has Bella's eyes, but she has blond hair, like Renée's."

"What was her name?"

"Audrey."

"Meaning strength. Appropriate."

"Yes, quite."

I reflected on this for a while, glad that Renée had something to look to for solace. Then I returned to the one question that filled me with the most trepidation. Billy.

"What about Billy?"

Carlisle remained silent for a while, so I prepared myself for the worst. From the tenseness that I could feel rolling off of Carlisle's shoulders, I knew it wasn't something ordinary like Charlie and Renée's ending.

"Well… Billy is a special case."

I stopped in surprise and Carlisle stopped immediately after me. I stared at him in confusion.

"_Is_? You mean, he's still _alive_?" I asked, aghast. I was horrified that Billy was still stuck on this earth. He deserved a nice peaceful rest, the sweet heaven of death. Like sleep, only longer lasting. He didn't deserve to be stuck here, constantly reminded of his son's untimely end.

"Yes. You see, as a member of the Quileute tribe, Billy has werewolf blood in him and werewolves are like us in a way. They do not age when they will it. However, once they give up their wolf form, they age like everyone else."

I wasn't comprehending, "But, Billy couldn't possibly want to _stay _here, could he?"

"No, I don't think so. I think that Billy does want to forget. But the thing is… I don't think he can. I said that the tribe became disillusioned by what Jacob did, but Billy was hit the worst. He never showed it in front of Charlie, but he felt guilty. He thought he should have done something about it, recognized that Jacob wasn't in the right frame of mind and somehow prevented you from seeing him that day, even though he had no idea you were coming. He just can't let it go."

My breath came out in a little puff as the full impact of Billy suffering hit me in the stomach. He felt guilty that Jacob had raped me, even though it was really my fault, for walking out too far, for not listening to Edward when he warned me, for causing so much heartbreak… My stomach churned.

"So he's still there? Billy, I mean? At La Push?"

"Yes. At least he was the last time we were there. Anything could have happened."

I nodded and started walking again. Yes, anything could have happened. Billy could have gone peacefully in his sleep in the time period that the Cullens were away from Forks. I sincerely hoped that that was the case, but I knew I wouldn't rest until I knew for sure. The only question was when I would go…

The house drew nearer, close enough that we could see it quite clearly. The wind blew from behind us, smushing some flurries of snow against our backs when suddenly, it changed direction, flinging the snowflakes into her faces instead. Just a millisecond passed before the scent came to me… that fresh, exhilarating scent I knew so well, the scent of mint and sandalwood and pine, mixed with other things that I had no words for, that words couldn't describe. I froze in my tracks, all thoughts of Billy flying out of my mind. He was home. Carlisle noticed my hesitancy and his brow knitted for a moment in confusion before he caught the scent too, a couple seconds later, and his forehead cleared in understanding. I close my eyes, ashamed of myself. It was pathetic how quickly I registered his presence.

"He doesn't hate you, Danny."

"Right. Thus, the reason why he just arrive home."

"You can't just assume things."

"Who's assuming anything?" I replied, but grudgingly dragged my feet towards the house. I didn't want to see the anger and hurt that now seemed constantly on his face. My levels of self-loathing were already at a dangerous high.

We entered the warm house and I quickly hung up my scarf, hat, and coat, not daring to look around. After a quick good night and thank you to Carlisle I flew upstairs and into my room, shutting the door with a quiet click and leaning against it with a sigh. No sign of him so far. He was probably avoiding me as much as I was avoiding him. I pushed myself away from the entrance and started pacing, my mind in an agitation, with thoughts of Billy and Renée and Charlie and werewolves and especially Edward wrestling with each other in my head. Of course, Edward won. He always did. I groaned and started obsessively rearranging my stuff in the room. After a while, I forced myself to stop. I wasn't going to go back to that stage again, the cleaning stage. I shuddered and looked around for another escape. Thankfully, my book of Tennyson was lying right in my line of sight and I grabbed it, flipping to a random page and trying to absorb myself in the lulling rhythm of his ballads. After a while, my mind cleared and I got lost in the beauty of the language. I read for a while, finishing the book and rereading it again.

I was on my fifth time through the book when I noticed the ray of light creeping across my page. I looked up straight at the window to be met by winking light of the sun. Surprised, I looked at the clock. It was eight in the morning. I hadn't realized I had read so long. I stared at the rising sun, its golden rays glittering on the freshly fallen snow. The sun was so bright, I almost felt as if I could reach out and touch it. Subconsciously, I got off the bed and walked over to the window and opened it wide open, letting the cold breeze brush through my hair. I closed my eyes, losing myself in the delicious beauty of the moment as the sunlight seeped through the thin membrane of my eyelids, warming my face despite the bitter cold of the Alaskan winter. I took a deep breath, enjoying the brief respite my mind was giving me from other more troubling topics that I didn't want to think about that.

I watched the sun rise ever higher, throwing its rays across a wider and wider area. Just as it completely broke free of the curvature of the Earth, there came a quiet knock on my door. Still in my own little world, I automatically, absently-mindedly murmured a "come in" and enjoyed the small breeze that was coming in through the window. I barely noticed the door opening and quiet footsteps coming in, only to come to a stop. All was silent in the room and I eventually forgot that anyone had knocked in the first place. Then:

"Danny."

I froze and my fingers clutched the window sill where it had just a moment ago been resting, completely relaxed. I felt the metal of the windowsill give way a little, molding to the contours of my fingers and I carefully relaxed them, so I wouldn't damage the house. There was no mistaking that voice, the voice that could probably turn rocks and metals into a soupy, gooey mess, much less me.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to alarm you. You _did _say to come in."

He was right. I did. Damn me and my stupid foolish idiotic… I should have asked who was there… I should have done something instead of just standing there like a wooden block… I should have… I took a deep breath as I fought to maintain control.

"No no… not your fault… just a bit caught off guard really…" I stumbled on the words. Damn it. Why couldn't I speak in complete sentences anymore? Finally gathering up my scattered wits, I turned around to face him, my personal angel and demon all rolled into one, and prepared myself for the bashing that I was sure would follow.

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**-starrytwilightgirl**


	31. Chapter 31 New Start

_Let me apologize to begin with  
Let me apologize for what I'm about to say  
But trying to be someone else was harder than it seemed  
And somehow I got caught up in between  
__  
Between my pride and my promise  
Between my lies and how the truth gets in the way  
And things I want to say to you get lost before they come  
The only thing that's worse than one is none_

"In Between"  
Linkin Park

EPOV

I morosely paced around the forest, absolutely drowning in thoughts of her. Damn it, they just wouldn't go away! I knew Esme was expecting me home soon, but I just couldn't will myself to go there. It pained me to see her, to see the body that someone else held, to see the lips that someone else kissed, to see the eyes that someone else gazed into. But most of all, it pained me to know that I wanted to see her and keep her by my side and just look at her forever. And it pained me to know that I couldn't. I was in agony.

I took out my angst on a few wildlife here and there, hunting a few animals to distract myself, but eventually that grew tiresome and I stopped. I knew I'd have to go back eventually, but I was reluctant to do so. Angry at my lack of choices, I slammed my fist against a tree, which promptly snapped and crashed down in a shower of leaves and foliage and snow.

"You don't have to destroy the Alaskan flora, you know," said a voice out of the dark. I scowled. I hadn't heard her footsteps because of the snow. If I did, I would have run… far far away. I was in no more of a mood to listen to her now than I was in the airport.

"Leave me alone, Alice."

"What is _wrong _with you, Edward?" she demanded, "Why are you so bitter all the time now? I swear, I think it might take Carlisle and a whole team of doctors to surgically remove the stick that's apparently been stuck up your butt for the past couple of decades!"

I didn't answer. Maybe if I kept silent long enough, she'd just get bored and go away. But of course, I had no such luck…

"You know, Danny's blaming herself right now. She thinks it's her fault that you're all rude and stuff now. Totally beating herself up over it. Typical, right?"

I closed my eyes as guilt flooded through my body. I wanted her to feel this way, didn't I? Wasn't that the whole point?

"What do you _want_, Alice?" I said through gritted teeth.

"I want to know why you are so pissy about Danny? I thought you cared about her?"

I growled at her, warning her not to push me too far.

"You can't honestly expect me to believe that you loved her one minute and the next you hate her? Do you really think I'm that stupid?"

"Who said I ever loved her," I mumbled, then instantly cursed myself to hell for that blasphemy. Apparently Alice thought so too, for she hissed.

"You are a bad liar, Edward. How can you treat Danny this way?! Has she _ever_ in her entire life been cruel to you? And now, you're kicking her aside like a dog?! Who _are _you?"

That's it. I snapped.

"Well, maybe she has been cruel to me Alice. I don't care if you're psychic. You don't know everything, okay?"

"What are you talking about?" she screamed back. Losing all semblance of control now, the water burst out of the dam.

"I'm talking about her mate, the one I saw her with when I bumped into her fifty years ago!"

Alice stared at me and a few seconds passed while I glared back at her, furious that she made me lose my temper and reveal so much. Then, she surprised me by throwing her head back and having a fit of laughter. She clutched her sides and bent over, gasping for breath.

"You… have… got… to be… kidding me!" she gasped. If she had been human, tears would have been running down her face.

"Do I look like I'm kidding?" I growled, pissed off that she was laughing at me, when I was being completely serious.

Her laughter cut off abruptly as she appraised my face with a sober expression.

"No, you're not," she said decisively, "but you can't honestly believe that can you? That Danny found a mate? I'd be surprised that she'd ever be able to be close to anyone like that ever again, not after Jacob."

"What am I supposed to believe, Alice? You heard Carlisle. She's living with him!"

"Well, Edward. I don't care if _you_ can read minds. But you don't know everything, okay?"

I hated it when she threw my words back at me.

"What the hell are you talking about Alice," I said, my patience running out.

"There is no way that Nick is Danny's mate," she said, smugly triumphant.

"And how can you be so sure about that," I answered, peeved.

"Becauuuuuse…" Alice said, drawing the word out, "he's _gay_."

I wasn't expecting _that_. I froze, my eyes wide, everything I thought I knew thrown upside down.

"What?" I breathed.

"Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay!" Alice sang out, skipping around to it like it was some sort of inane little school-yard rhyme.

"You're lying," I hissed in disbelief.

"Am I?" she asked archly. And then, I really _listened_ to her thoughts and I could see the truth of it. I groaned. What a fool I had been!

I clenched my fists to my eyes as all my actions for the past year flooded back to me and I was hit by the stupidity of all I had done: how I'd worried Esme, how I'd exasperated Carlisle, annoyed Jasper, pissed off Alice. But most of all, I kept seeing the smile fade a little on Danny's face as I glared at her. Oh God. What a fool I had been! There was silence beside me, so I was sure that Alice had left. So much the better.

"Edward? Are you okay?" Alice asked softly, all traces of glee or gloating gone from her tone. A light hand touched my shoulder but I shrugged it off. Even I was repulsed by myself. I couldn't even think how others could bear to touch me.

"Leave me alone, Alice. Now."

"You believe me, don't you?"

"Yes, I believe you. All too well. God, what an idiot I am!" I groaned.

"Yes you are," Alice agreed, "but you can redeem yourself. Just be super nice to the girl and I know she'll forgive you. I bet she already has."

I shook my head in despair. It was too much for a saint to bear; I couldn't possibly expect Danny to forgive me.

"Please leave me now, Alice. I want to be by myself, to think."

She looked at me doubtfully.

"Please."

"Well, okay. But you'd better get yourself home Edward. Esme's been waiting for you."

"I'll be home. I promise." There was a brief pause of time where I assumed she was checking to make sure. She must have seen me arriving a little bit later, so she left with a brush of wind.

I sank down into the snow, all my past mistakes filing by one by one and kicking me in the gut. How could I have been such an idiot?

As I lay there in the snow, one thing became obvious, one major fallacy that I had stupidly managed to convince myself of… I'd _never _hated Danny. Whatever feelings I had toward her, they were always love, always. No, I had never hated her; I had just been hating myself, for not telling her so when I had the chance.

There was only one thing I could do. I had to go apologize. _Now_. Beg for her forgiveness. Grovel at her feet if she wanted me to. Throw myself off a cliff if that made her feel any better. I owed her so much.

I stumbled to my feet and wild-eyed, blindly raced my way back to the house. I burst in through the door, almost ripping it off its hinges as it banged into the wall and rebounded back, causing Esme to emerge from upstairs, eyes wide.

"Edward! I'm so glad you're back! Why—what's wrong, love?"

I barely heard her as I frantically searched the rooms for Danny, finding them all devoid of her presence.

"Edward!"

"Edward!"

Then: "Alice, what did you do to your brother?"

"I didn't do anything, Esme! I swear! I just told him the truth!"

The alarmed sound followed me up as I tore upstairs, ripping open the doors to the rooms as I looked in vain for her.

"Danny!" I called in desperation. I need to see her, more than I had ever needed anything in my whole life, vampire or human.

I flung open door after door, looking for her. Tanya emerged from her bedroom, looking at me with shocked eyes.

"Edward— what…?" she started, but I ignored her as I brushed past her to look and see if Danny was in her room.

"Edward!" she rebuked me. Normally I would have apologized for such a rude intrusion, but right now, I was too frantic to think of anything except finding her.

As I was about to exit the room, Esme appeared next to Tanya, looking at me with frightened eyes. I tried to get past her, but she blocked the way.

"Edward, what--?" she started.

"Where is she? Where is Danny? I have to find her!" I shouted in her startled face. She quickly recovered and set her face into a reproachful expression. I instantly felt bad for screaming at her, but my need to find Danny overpowered everything else.

"Edward, Danny isn't here."

Dread filled my entire body as I contemplated what that meant.

"She isn't—what do you mean she isn't here? Did—did she _leave_?" I asked.

"No, no, no," Esme quickly reassured me, "she just went out on a walk with Carlisle."

"What? Why?"

"She had some things she wanted to discuss with him apparently."

Having the information I needed now, I tried to launch myself out of the door to run after her, but Esme caught me in my attempted leap out of the room and held onto me.

"Wait, Edward! Tanya! Alice! Jasper! Come help me!"

I felt four pairs of hands on my shoulders, restraining me as I strained to get to where she was. But suddenly, I felt a wave of calm wash over me and my struggles stopped. Four pairs of hands cautiously let me go.

"Dude," Jasper said disapprovingly, "chill out."

"Do I have a choice?" I asked pointedly.

"Come on, Edward," Alice said, "just wait until she gets home. I'm sure she won't appreciate you barging in there looking like a mad-man."

I sighed. Alice was right, of course. In my present state of right, I would probably catch sight of her and remain standing there tongue-tied. I felt Esme's hand rub comforting circles on my back.

"Edward, please, wait until she gets back," she pleaded with me. I turned my face to look her in the eyes, which looked worriedly back at me. It was obvious that she was concerned about my mental health. I felt guilty for causing that little worry line between her eyebrows. I forced a serene smile on my face, no doubt helped by Jasper's calming abilities, and I rubbed the crease, trying to relax it and return it to its usual smoothness.

"Of course," I reassured her. Esme sighed and wrapped her arms around me, resting her chin on my shoulder.

"I'm glad you're back, Edward. I was worried."

"I know," I said ruefully.

We stood there for a moment and then, Tanya broke the silence.

"So… Danny, huh?"

"Don't, Tanya," Alice said, a warning in her voice.

"No," I said firmly, "No, Alice. I'm not hiding this anymore." I turned to Tanya, looking her straight in the eyes. "Yes—the answer is yes, to whatever you're thinking. Yes, I love Danny and yes, it's despite of Bella. Yes, I'm not perfect, although you should have known that before. Are you satisfied now?"

Tanya looked taken aback, "Edward—that's not what I meant…"

"Edward—" Esme started.

"No, Esme. I'm sorry. I know you're disappointed in me, and Carlisle as well, most likely, but I— it's not something I can help anymore. I—"

Esme put her fingers over my lips and my words died out.

"Do you honestly think we're that stupid?"

I opened my mouth again, but she cut in before I could speak.

"No. Really, Edward. Anyone with eyes could see that you loved her. I didn't want to say anything to you, because I feared that it just might make things worse."

"She's right, dude," Jasper added, "the way you look at her, it's like a blind man seeing the sun for the first time… it's almost pathetic really." That elicited a look and a jab in the ribs from Alice.

"And how do you look at me, huh Jasper?" she asked, eyebrow raised. Jasper was in some deep shit now. I smirked.

"Um… uh…," Jasper stuttered, trying to catch himself before he really landed in the mud, "Come on, Alice. You know I look at you… like… like… a deaf man hearing music for the first time." We all stared, because that made absolutely no sense at all. Then Alice burst out laughing and threw her arms around Jasper, who, over her shoulder, gave me a look of intense relief. I would have laughed had there not been other things on my mind.

"Oh… you know I'm just teasing you, Jazz!"

I turned back to Esme, "So, you don't care? Even though Bella…"

"Edward, I'm sorry for what happened with Bella. Really, I am. I wish she was still here, which sounds cruel, considering what's going on with Danny, but in my heart, Edward, I know that everything would have worked out. This doesn't mean you don't still love Bella, Edward. I know you do. You just love Danny more. Isn't that what Bella felt for Jacob? You're a good person, Edward, and I'm proud of you for trying to suppress your feelings, however hard it might have been, in consideration of another person, even if that person wasn't here anymore, but you've repented long enough. Besides, Bella would have wanted it this way. Carlisle and I realized this a while back, but you weren't letting any of us in, so we weren't sure if we should mention it to you. We didn't want to hurt you by bringing back painful memories."

As Esme spoke, I listened and the truth of what she spoke rang inside my head, so that it was impossible to hear any other arguments that I had accumulated over the years.

"Thank you, Esme," I said.

"It's my pleasure."

I turned and left to my room, feeling the eyes on my back as I shut the door. I went to the window and looked out, hoping that she was back already, but no such luck. The darkness was not yet sweetened by her ever-luminous presence. I sighed, turned around and started pacing, looking back out of the window every five minutes, which was ridiculous, since I knew I would know the second she appeared. I was already insanely, impossibly in tune to her presence even without focusing all my concentration on her arrival. I paced and paced and paced, counting out my two hundred and fifty millionth lap before her scent hit me. I rushed to the window and looked out to see her standing just a few miles away from the house, still as a statue and staring toward the house with what looked almost like fear. Then, Carlisle stood in front of her and blocked the way. It seemed as if he was talking to her, maybe reassuring her of what she was afraid of, and I strained to catch the sound of her voice, but the wind was blowing away from me and carried the music of her voice to someone luckier than I was.

Carlisle finally moved away and I saw her face again, resigned this time, but getting closer as they moved towards the house. I anxiously watched their progress, impatient at the pace, until finally, they reached the door. I rushed out of my room, but before I could reach her, I heard a quick, "Thanks, Carlisle. See you later," and a rush of wind as she ran up the stairs, eyes darting around nervously as if she were trying to avoid someone. Just as she reached the top step, it occurred to me that she was trying to avoid _me_, and I melted into the shadows before she could see me. She breezed into the guest bedroom and slammed the door closed. I could swear I could hear a thump, as if of someone leaning against the door, and a small sigh of relief. But I couldn't dwell too much on that as I was preoccupied by the room in which Danny enclosed her herself. Really? They _had_ to put her in the guest bedroom next to mine. Did they want to torture me? Perhaps punish me for all the crap they had to put up with from me? Maybe so. I probably deserved it.

I couldn't move from my little dark corner for a few hours as I stared at her door. I had been so anxious to see her, but now I was afraid, afraid that I may have been too late, that she would reject me and send me on my way. I listened to the sound of her pacing and then, when that stopped, her slow, even breathing as I stood in my corner. Finally, as the light from the rising sun crept across the hallway and chased away the dark from my corner, I gathered up my wits and marched myself to her door, only stopping to take a deep breath before I knocked on the door. Bad idea. The air around the door was full of _her_ scent, intoxicating me momentarily, like a drug. I forced my hand up and knocked on the door.

A light "Come in" drifted out like a murmur, and I wondered what she was doing. She sounded so peaceful, so relaxed, so different from what her face had suggested as she rushed past me only a few hours ago. I supposed I would find out soon enough. I quietly opened the door and stepped into the room. What I saw in there took my breath away.

There she was, standing at the window, sunlight glinting off the coppery strands of her hair, looking more like a goddess of the morning than any one ever should. Her eyes were closed, each of her lashes brushing against her cheek, which glittered in the sunlight. If that weren't enough to stop me in my tracks, the light breeze coming in through her window blew her scent right into my face, stunning me with the smell of morning dew. I could only stand there for a few minutes, dazed at the sight of her. When I finally regained my scattered thoughts, I grew afraid again, afraid that she would reject me, afraid that I had caused too much damage to repair. Finally, I found my voice (and my courage) and I choked out only a single word, the most important word in my world.

"Danny."

At the sound of my voice, her entire body stiffened and her fingers clutched the windowsill. I heard the unmistakable sound of metal giving way to stone fingers. It saddened me that I had this affect on her, although it should have been in no way surprising. Her fingers started to loosen and I took this opportunity to start my long line of apologies.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to alarm you. You _did _say to come in."

There was silence for a minute, and I worried that she wouldn't even speak to me, which was probably no less than I deserved. Finally, I heard a deep breath and she spoke.

"No no… not your fault… just a bit caught off guard really…" she stammered. It seemed as if she, too, was trying to gather her thoughts. I waited for her to regain control. Finally, she turned around.

A wave of guilt and self-loathing crashed over me as I took in the look on her face. It was obvious that she was trying to keep a blank expression, but I could see wariness, uncertainty, and even pain written across her face. I could only stare at her for a second as I made it my life goal to keep that sadness from ever encroaching upon her lovely face ever again. As I struggled to regain my composure, Danny sighed and spoke first.

"Don't worry about it, Edward. I already know what you're going to say."

I caught my breath, "You do?"

"Of course. You're angry at me. I've hurt you and you don't want me here. You never want to see me again."

Her voice was the same as what I had heard at the airport—tinged with sadness. I didn't know it was possible for person to hate himself as much as I did.

"Danny. I know I haven't behaved in a very gentlemanly manner— No, that's an understatement, I've been horrible to you—"

"But I deserve it…" she interrupted, "I've hurt you so much."

"No! You haven't, Danny. It was all _me_, can't you see?"

She looked at me, uncomprehending.

"I'm not following you, Edward."

"What I'm saying, Danny, is that you have nothing to apologize for. I'm the one who should be apologizing. I'm sorry I've been so rude to you, I'm sorry for everything."

She stared at me for a while, and then turned away, "You're too generous. I'm not worth apologizing to. I made a mistake, and I left you to clean up the messes I left behind… like Jacob and Charlie…and my parents…" She stopped, unable to continue.

Forgetting all sense of decorum, I strode across the room to where she stood and turned her to look at me. She gasped at the sudden contact and I quickly dropped my hand, but still continued looking at her. Her eyes were unreadable now. Alice's words echoed in my head…_I'd be surprised that she'd ever be able to be close to anyone like that ever again, not after Jacob_… I quickly changed my plans.

"Look, Danny, what I came here to say is… although I might not deserve it… in fact, I probably don't, given all that I've done… will you find it possible to forgive me, even if it takes a millennium… will you forgive me? I know this may be a stretch, but can we somehow just leave everything behind us and start over again, as friends?"

I extended my hand out to her and waited for her answer as the seconds ticked by, seeming like millenniums.

DPOV

"… can we somehow just leave everything behind us and start over again, as friends?"

I stared down at Edward's extended hand and back up to those depth-less eyes as they gazed down at me in all earnestness. He was waiting for my answer and I couldn't speak.

God only knew how much I wanted this, the secret wish that I had carried in my heart for almost two centuries, no matter how hard I tried to shake it off. I wanted so much to shout, "YES!" and put my hand in his. But I'd already hurt him so much… did I really want to risk hurting him any more? I simply didn't trust myself. I bit my lip as the two sides fought it out in my head. Edward's hand never wavered. Eventually, my will weakened and I found my own hand inching toward Edward's.

"Yes…" I said finally, "I would like that very much."

Edward broke into a smile that knocked the breath out of me and grasped my hand. I jumped at the energy that passed from him to me through the contact. I quickly pulled it away, not because it was uncomfortable. No, I could have stayed that way forever. It was simply unsettling, different, like nothing I'd ever felt before. I caught a brief flicker of hurt pass through his eyes, but he set his face back into that exhilarated expression so quickly that I thought I might have imagined it.

"I promise you won't regret this, Danny," he swore, "I'm so sorry for whatever pain I've caused you, but I promise I'll never let anything or anyone hurt you again, especially myself…"

I hated how he was blaming himself. I quickly stopped him.

"Hey," I joked lightly, "I thought we were letting bygones be bygones."

He stopped, looking comically horrified, "You're right! What am I doing? Okay, then. Past behind us. New start."

He stepped back, a crooked smile on his face. He continued looking at me as I started to fidget.

"What are you doing?" I finally asked.

"Introducing myself." He made a perfect, deep, formal bow, the kind that you can only see in the movies. I laughed out loud, suddenly realizing what he was doing.

"Hello. My name is Edward Cullen. I'm sorry for being so forward, but you look rather familiar. Have we met?"

Snickering at the silliness of all this, I made a rather awkward curtsy, playing along, "Why, no, I don't believe so, good sir. My name is Danielle Rory, but you may call me Danny."

"It's very nice to meet you, Danny. I hope we will be friends," he said, serious now, no hint of laughter in his eyes. He held out his hand again and I was the one who grasped it this time.

"Me too," was all I could manage to say as his gaze bore into my. He didn't let go of my hand. A few moments passed as I shifted my weight back and forth uncomfortably. I was extremely conscious of the proximity of his body to mine. And it bugged me, because although I knew I shouldn't, all I wanted was for him to be closer.

"Your eyes are still green," he said finally, breaking my troubled musings.

"Carlisle thinks it's the short transformation time… the venom apparently didn't get to everything," I replied.

"Hmm…" he mused, looking into them. I wondered what he saw.

"Is that weird?"

"No. I like it," he answered, "It's as if…" He stopped.

"As if what?" I questioned.

"Never mind," he finally said. I looked at him questioningly, but he didn't choose to continue. I looked at him, willing him to tell me, but he wasn't budging.

Suddenly: "Danny! Where's my maid of honor? Come on, you lazybones, are you just here for fun?! Let's get to work! I can't decide the color scheme!!!"

I jumped back, my hand ripping away from Edward's, my mind still in a whirl due to his mesmerizing eyes and his addictive scent. Edward's lips twitched as if he meant to laugh.

"You'd better go," Edward said, "Alice sounds as if she's about to rip your head off. The original bridezilla…"

"Y-yeah," I said, stumbling away. This guy sure knew how to mess with my senses. I finally reached the door and tore it open, only to find Alice right outside of it.

"Gah!" I gasped, in total surprise at seeing her there. I wondered how long she'd been there.

"Come _on_, Danny. You're so _slow_!" she whined, as she grabbed my hand and literally dragged me down the stairs. I stole one last look at Edward, who was still in my room, quietly laughing and looking like a peaceful angel with that smile on his face and the sunlight glittering off his skin. My mind spun as I asked myself what exactly had happened between Edward and I. But, I soon lost sight of him as Alice whipped me around the corner to what would surely be my doom.

**Yay! One step forward for Edward and Danny… how are they going to deal with all that tension between them, especially since their rooms are right next to each other… is this new relationship going to last…? What will happen next?**

**Reviewreviewreview and you just might find out :)**

**Love,**

**Starrytwilightgirl**


	32. Chapter 32 Restless

**I want to send a big thank you to everyone for reading and especially to those who reviewed (Sanity_Overlaod, justanothergaarafangurl, edwardisperfection92, thanks so much)! It means so much to me! So, get ready for this new chapter and have some towels ready because it is hothothot (although not as hot as it'll get in later chapters if you keep reading and reviewing ;) ). Enjoy!  
**

**-starrytwilightgirl**

**P.S. Sanity_Overlaod—can you tell me why you think so? Danny has her flaws of course, but I may be able to change some things.**

_You're standing much too close to me again  
I'd never once touched you  
But in my mind I've already sinned  
You're making it hard for me to be true  
I don't trust me around you_

Seems like every place I go I see you there  
I can't keep my eyes off you  
I just stand and stare  
You tempt me more than anyone I ever knew  
I don't trust me around you

"I Don't Trust Me Around You"  
Dolly Parton

DPOV

I watched the pale sunlight glinting off the glittering snow that rushed past me as I ran, laden with bags upon bags of favors, scrapbook materials, ribbons, and various other items that seemed, to me at least, extraneous, but of which Alice claimed were absolutely necessary. As I ran, my mind, as always, wandered back to the last two days.

Ever since that first meeting and agreement in my room, something that still puzzled me, Edward and I had been reasonably friendly to each other. Just this morning, we had strolled the streets of Anchorage, amiably complaining about the ridiculous items that Alice had charged both of us to retrieve. Yet… yet, there was always a certain awkwardness… a certain conflict, or tension of sorts between us. I wanted to be closer to him, yet be as far away from him as possible at the same time. I wanted to stare at him all day long, yet longed to be able to look away. I was in love with him, that I couldn't deny to myself anymore, yet, I knew I shouldn't be. I honestly couldn't identify the feeling. It wasn't exactly unpleasant. Just… bewildering, confusing, perplexing. My body unconsciously reacted in much the same way. As soon as he got near me, his scent seeming to permeate every fiber of my being, clinging to the strands of my hair, my eyelashes, my clothing, his breath brushing against my forehead as he looked down to speak to me, my body clenched itself together, the muscles beneath my skin contracting in the most peculiar of ways. Just thinking about it… the strange energy that always seemed to pass from him to me, his breath on my skin, his golden eyes looking into mine… just thinking about it made me tense up.

I shrugged my shoulders back in a circular motion, determined to shake it off. _Danny, you are losing your mind. Didn't you swear that you would keep your head around Edward?_ Remembering, I straightened my shoulders as I resolutely darted forward, the house reappearing behind the cover of the tall fir trees.

I stepped to the doorway and set the bags down, pulling the key Tanya had given me from the pocket of my jeans. I opened the door and stepped inside, taking the bags with me and setting them on the kitchen island. I looked around.

"Hello?" I called out. There was silence in the house. I was the only one back. The others were still out. I wandered back out of the kitchen and into the living room, about to head out when something caught my eye: the piano that I had noticed when I first walked in the day I arrived. I was now certain that it wasn't there the very first time I came here. Curious, I walked over to it, admiring the gloss of the panels, the glistening shine of the pedals. Carefully, I lifted the cover up and ran my hand across the ivory and ebony keys, noting their smoothness and their shine. Obviously, whoever's piano this was took extremely good care of it. There wasn't a mark or smudge to be found.

Suddenly, I was seized by a desire to play it, something I hadn't done for years, more than seventy to be exact. I had played when I was a human. My mom had signed me up for lessons when I was five and although I complained, I secretly loved the instrument. Playing it was always a cathartic experience for me. It got rid of negative energy. I wondered if I still remembered. Glancing around, I made sure the house was still empty. For some reason, I felt like thief in an art museum, touching something I wasn't supposed to, although the notion was completely ridiculous. Yet, the lure of the instrument was too great. Seeing no one around, I gently pulled the bench out and sat down in front of the keys. Positioning my hands, I played a scale, going all the way up the keyboard and back down. I closed my eyes. The sound was absolutely beautiful, like drops of honey dripping into a crystal clear pond. Then, I started playing, not really sure what I was playing… it was something dragged up from the depths of my memory. Three measures into the music and I knew exactly what it was. Chopin's Nocturne, Op. 32 No. 1, one of my favorites. I played and played, all the way from the painfully sweet beginning to the beautifully bitter end. I played the last, doleful, chord, and stopped, reveling in the sounds of the echoes the piano made around the room. It was silent for a moment as the sound died out.

Then, the sound of someone clapping broke my reverie and startled, I jumped up, knocking over the bench in the process.

"Shit!" I exclaimed, as I quickly caught it before it could hit the floor and possibly break and looked up, seeing no one other than Edward standing in the doorway, looking at me with surprise in his eyes. Like a dummy, I stood there, between the bench and the piano and stared at him, completely at a loss of what to say. No one was supposed to see that…

"I'm sorry," he said, "it seems as if I've startled you yet again, but your playing was absolutely beautiful, and I thought you deserved some applause."

I couldn't think of anything to say, so I blurted out, "How long have you been standing there?"

"Since the first cadenza. I didn't know you played?" He said.

"Yeah, well," I mumbled, "I haven't for a while."

"You like it though?" He continued asking me.

"Well, yes. I think the piano's the most beautiful instrument in the world. Especially this one… it's beyond anything I've ever heard," I said reverently.

"Yes, it is quite wonderful, isn't it?" He asked, gazing at it.

I nodded mutely, looking down at the ground now, as if caught in some mischievous act.

"Well, then, I'll give it to you," Edward proclaimed.

My head snapped up in surprise, "What?"

"I'll give it to you," he repeated, seemingly amused by my incredulity.

"Yes, I heard you, but…"

"But what?" he pressed.

I hesitated, "This piano is yours?"

"Yes, it _was_, but it's now yours, if you like. It's quite old; I've had it for a long time, but it still sounds incredible."

"I'm sorry. I should have asked you before I touched it. It was incredibly rude and ill-mannered of me not to do so."

"No worries. Besides, it's yours now, didn't you hear me?"

"Do you play?" I continued.

"All my life."

I shook my head.

"What?" he asked.

"I can't possibly let you do this, Edward. I can't possibly let you give me this. It's not right. You obviously love this piano. I can't just let you _give _it to me, just because I played on it once."

"Well, I can do what I want with it, can't I? Consider it a Christmas gift, if it bothers you."

"It does."

"Why?"

"It's just too… big of a gift. It wouldn't be right. It wouldn't be proper."

He looked at me skeptically, "So what you're saying is that if I gave you a miniature version of the same piano, you would accept it?"

"Well… no… "

"Then, what?" He asked, sounding frustrated, "I can't exactly read your mind, Danny, as you very well know. You're still blocking me." I would have blushed if I were human. He was right, I was still blocking him, but it was for his own good, protecting him from unnecessary information that could hurt him.

"You don't have to give me anything, Edward. All I want is…" I stopped. It had almost slipped. _All I want is you, all of you, to be with you forever and ever and ever._

"What?"

"Nothing," I replied.

"So you won't take it."

"No. Like I said, it wouldn't feel right."

He pursed his lips, then said, "Fine."

I looked at him and he looked back.

"You're unhappy," I finally decided.

"No. I just wish you would let me pay you back."

I looked at him in surprise, "For what?"

"For being rude."

I almost choked, "You think you _owe _me something?! Edward! Never say that! If you were ever rude to me, I probably deserved it. In fact, it's probably I who owe _you_ something."

Edward was already shaking his head before I even finished, "You don't see yourself clearly at all, Danny. When you see that one day, I can't wait to say I told you so."

I glared at him, "When you see that _I'm_ right one day, _I_ can't wait to say I told _you_ so."

He sighed, seeming to drop the subject for now, "So… Chopin? Good choice."

I decided to drop it too. I didn't want to start arguing with him.

"Op 32 No 1 is my favorite."

"It's one of mine, too. I've always wondered what the old master was thinking when he wrote that last section. I've always wondered what it's really about."

I was quiet for a minute before I carefully spoke, "I think… it's about hope… and despair. Despair always wins out in the end, you see. No matter how much you try to get past something, it will always be there to haunt you. At the end of the day, you can't escape the secrets you hold, many of them not always pleasant. Chopin understood that life is never a fairy tale. Happily ever afters are only the stuff of legends, belonging in the realm of the unicorn and the mermaid. And Bigfoot."

Edward was quiet for a moment, "You really think so?"

"Well, yes."

"Hmm."

"What?"

"Sit down and scoot over."

"What?"

"Do it."

I did and I heard his footsteps crossing over to where I was and I felt his weight on the space next to mine as he sat down. My muscles, predictably, did that weird clenching thing and I clasped my hands together tightly, to resist the temptation of reaching out and touching him. Of course, it didn't help that the scent of sandalwood and pine was surrounding me, enclosing me in the space with the personage next to me.

"Good. Now, play."

"The Nocturne?"

"Yes."

Taking a deep breath and wondering what the hell he was trying to do, I raised my fingers to the keys again and started the piece. But, this time, I couldn't concentrate on what I was doing. I was all wound up and supernaturally aware of the person sitting next to me. As a result, I slipped and played a wrong note only two lines into the music. I stopped.

"Danny, relax. Breathe. It's not like I'm judging you or anything. No worries, okay? Just play."

Okay, I thought, relax, breathe. I closed my eyes and did so and soon, I did relax, clearing my mind of everything. I raised my hands to the keyboard again and started playing, this time with no faults. Soon, I heard another melody joining mine, something I had never heard, but strangely familiar, seeming to fit in perfectly into the piece, as if Chopin had written it in himself. I continued playing, entranced by this new development. Soon, I reached a tone change area and was surprised when the notes I played didn't sound the same as before. They were the same notes, that I was sure of, but the new melody that wove through it made it sound happier, more hopeful. My eyes popped open in surprise and I saw a pair of pale white hands, the long, elegant fingers playing fluidly next to mine and crossing over my own to reach higher notes, under, and in between in a graceful duet. I watched, entranced, as the piece went on and when it finally got to that mournful dénouement, the new melody once again changed the sound of the music, creating a sound of hope and joy rather than the desolation and anguish that I was familiar with. The piece finally ended and I turned to him in amazement.

"How did you do that?" I exclaimed.

"If vampires exist, why not unicorns and happily ever afters?" A small smile curved his lips, "And Bigfoot."

I stared at him in awe. Finally, he shrugged.

"It's nothing; years of playing for diversion will do that to you."

I continued gaping at him, astonished by his ability.

"Don't look at me like that. You're quite good yourself."

I scoffed, "My paltry skills are nothing compared to yours."

"You underestimate yourself."

I stared at him for while, then suddenly realized how close we were. Although I was sitting on the farthest edge of the bench, I was leaning towards him and our faces were only a little bit more than an inch from each other's. My senses felt as if they were ready to burst with _him_. I blinked a couple of times, trying to clear my head…

"Danny," he said, almost whispering.

"Yes?"

He hesitated, as if deciding whether he wanted to tell me or not, whatever it was. Finally, it seemed he decided not, because he sighed and said, "Never mind. You just… surprise me. There's obviously a lot about you that I don't know. But I plan on finding out."

I had no doubt that he would. Words seemed to spout out of me like vomit when he asked me questions, things I never even knew about myself revealing themselves to him, as if dragged from the recesses of my mind by the lure of his voice. Yet, I knew there was one secret that I would never reveal. Thinking about that now, and feeling the closeness of our two bodies, I sprung up from the bench and looked out the door, as if someone had called me.

"I have to go, Alice needs me," I lied. I had to get away from here before I completely lost my sanity. He frowned.

"I didn't hear anything."

"Coordination, remember?" I said, tapping my temple with my finger. That was the truth, Alice and I had coordinated our abilities to communicate with each other.

"Oh, right," he said, "Have fun!"

"Yeah, thanks, see you later!" I called as I rushed out the door, needing to get away from him, and fast.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I slouched into my room and flopped back on the bed, drained from my encounter with Edward that day. Vampires shouldn't feel tired, I told myself. Yet, trying to keep what was left of my control around Edward was absolutely exhausting. I rubbed my palms over my face, pushing back some strands of hair that had fallen in it. I was tired, yes, but there was still more to do, things that had nothing to do with Alice's wedding.

It had been two days, and I have still not figured out when, or how without anyone noticing my absence, to pay a visit to Billy. Alice had kept me busy almost twenty four seven. I barely even had time to make a call back to Nick to ask about how repair of the burnt area of the apartment was coming along. I sighed.

Then, suddenly, it dawned upon me, that I wasn't really doing anything now, was I? I had been in such a whirlwind of activity that I hadn't even noticed. I froze and turned to look at the clock. It read 9:30. No. Way. Alice never let me off that early. In disbelief, I ran to my door and poked my head out into the hall.

"Hey Alice! You sure there's nothing else you need me to do tonight?"

"Nope! Thanks though! Take the night off!"

"Thanks, Alice!"

I closed my door again and leant against it. Here was my chance. If I didn't go tonight, I didn't know when I would have another opportunity. I looked at the clock again. 9:31. I had time. They probably wouldn't look for me for another ten hours or so.

My mind made up, I strode to the window and threw it open, looking at into the dark night of swirling snow. I looked down and all was dark. No windows below mine. Perfect. I crossed over to my closet and found a long overcoat, a scarf, and some snow boots that I still had to thank Nick for packing. I pushed my feet in through the boots, threw on the coat, wrapped around the scarf, and threw my hair out from under it. I rushed to the window again and looked out, making sure that the coast was still clear. I stuck my head out the window, preparing to leave.

I already had one leg out the window when someone knocked on the door. Startled, I raised my head and bumped it against the window-sill.

"Ow!" I exclaimed in surprised, although it didn't really hurt. I fell back into the room in a heap.

"Oof!" I huffed as my breath got knocked out of me.

"Danny?" a concerned voice sounded out in the hall, "Are you okay?" _Crap_. I knew that voice all too well.

Before I could even answer, he burst into the room, his eyes immediately lighting on me in all my crumpled, snowy, mess glory in the center of the room.

"Danny!" he said, alarm in his voice as he rushed to my side. I held up my hand to stop him.

"I'm fine, Edward, stop worrying. Come in, by the way."

"I'm sorry, I thought…"

"Don't be. I'm fine," I pulled myself off and brushed some of the snow off my sleeve, "What are you doing here?"

"Well, I _had_ come to see if you wanted to take a walk with me, but apparently you were one step ahead of me," he said, frowning at the open window, through which snow was now streaming, and at the stray flakes that were caught in my hair. He reached up and brushed some of them off. _Uh-oh_. I quickly strode to the window and closed it shut. The remaining snow settled into the carpet, where it started to melt. I spun around to face Edward, hoping vainly that he wouldn't guess what I was doing. A second passed in silence.

"You know, you could use the front door," he said, "No charge."

I stayed silent, not sure how to reply. Then, he got it. Understanding dawned in his eyes.

"You didn't want anyone to see you," he said, "Why?"

I looked down at the floor, feeling like a child with her hand caught in the cookie jar. Still, I wasn't about to tell him where I was going. I had involved Edward enough in my affairs as it was. Before I could even respond, he was right in front of me, finger under my chin, forcing me to look up at him.

"Danny, _where are you going_?" he asked urgently, "Are you leaving us?"

"N-no," I said, "Of course not. I'll be back."

"So you _are_ going somewhere," he said triumphantly. I quickly shut my trap. Damn it, how does he do that? I closed my eyes, so I wouldn't be distracted by the pools of gold that were his eyes.

"Danny," his thumb stroked my chin and I thought I may have stopped breathing, "Danny. Look at me." My eyes popped upon of their own volition. His eyes caught mine and pinned me to the spot, like a butterfly on examination, unable to move.

"Where are you going?" he asked again, his eyes burning into mine. I shook my head. My resolve was weakening.

"Danny, won't you tell me? Please?" His breath brushed against the tip of my nose and I trembled. Sandalwood. My last defense crumbled before my eyes and before I could blink, I blurted it out.

"Billy."

He looked surprised, "You're visiting _Billy_?"

I nodded.

Then suddenly, he said, "No. I can't let you do that."

I gasped, "Why the hell not?"

"Because it's too dangerous. I won't let you do it."

Ire rose in me. I hated it when people told me I couldn't do stuff. I shook my face away from his grasp and stepped away from him.

"Well, Edward," I snapped angrily, "I can do what I want. Don't waste your time." I turned toward the window again, but he grabbed my hand, preventing me from going anywhere.

"Danny, no!"

I turned around again, "Edward, just what are you so worried about? I'm practically indestructible, remember? Besides, it's been a long time since a vampire has been in Forks and it's not like some kid is going to morph right when I get there!" I turned to leave, but he pulled me back.

"Danny, please," he said, his voice soft.

I looked at him, and then sighed, "Edward, I _am_ going, whether you like it or not." He looked at me, as if trying to assess the strength of my statement and I looked back at him, dead serious.

"Fine," he finally said.

I heaved a sigh of relief, "Thank you, Edward."

"But I'm coming with you."

My eyes widened in shock, "What? No! You can't!"

"Why not?"

"Because," I spluttered, "Billy is _my_ mess to clean up. You don't need to get involved. You've already cleaned up so many of my messes before. I can't in good conscience let you help me clean up another one!"

"This isn't about helping you clean up messes, Danny. This is about your safety and my own peace of mind."

I looked at him in disbelief. This was supposed to be on my own! I shook my head, "Nuh-uh."

Edward pressed his lips together in disapproval, "You have two choices Danny. Either I come with you, or you're staying."

I stared at him. He was dead serious, too. I could tell he wasn't going to budge. I surreptitiously looked around for any way of escape. None whatsoever. I had no doubt that he would catch me before I got out the door—or window. I had no choice. I needed to go visit Billy.

I groaned, "Ugh, fine, you can come, but I'm not going to be happy about it!"

He broke into a brilliant smile, "As long as you're safe." I rolled my eyes and turned, opening the window again.

"Um, Danny? Remember what I said about using the door? No charge. Really."

I gave him a dark look. Although _he_ knew now, I didn't want anyone else worrying about me.

"Humor me," I said, and slipped out the window. I heard the crunch of snow as he landed lightly behind me and a light thud as he shut the window behind him.

"Ready?" I asked him.

He nodded, "Let's go."

I started running, heading towards Forks and Edward kept perfect pace beside me. We ran in silence for a while. Luckily, I found a lot to at least partially distract me from the person running next to me. I looked up at the dark trees, the snow flakes that coated my eyelashes. I looked up at the stars, silently noting the different constellations and the names of the stars I had learned many years ago in high school. They were all beautiful, but no more beautiful than the being accompanying me to whom my thoughts continually returned. I wondered what he was thinking. I was tempted to look into his mind and see, but my conscience overrode the temptation. I knew I would hate it if he did that to me. Besides, everyone deserved their privacy. I let it alone. We kept on running. Then, just before we crossed the Washington state border, he spoke.

"So, why do you feel it's so indispensable that you visit Billy?" he asked.

I hesitated. Well, since we were going there anyway…

"Billy is still alive."

"Or he was when we last left him."

"Yes, but…"

"You need to make sure."

"You read my mind."

"Hmm, you'd know if I did."

I smiled.

"Why though? When Billy passes is his concern."

"Yes, but it's my fault. I would bet a lot that this life isn't easy for him? Why should he want to live so long? Carlisle told me it's because he can't let go of what happened to Jacob—"

"What Jacob did," Edward corrected.

"Either way, if I had never come to Forks, none of this would ever have happened."

"If you had never come to Forks, Bella would have died anyway, but she would have died alone."

"You can't know that."

"Just like you can't know that none of this would have ever happened had you never come to Forks."

I pouted. He was turning my own reasoning against me! "That's not fair."

He only laughed, "So let me get this straight. You're going to visit Billy to make sure of something that you had no control over?"

"Even if he is alive, there must be something I could do, even if it is to just apologize. After all, I did take away his only son. Maybe if I tell him I don't blame him or Jacob, and convince him it's all my fault, he'll be able to pass in peace."

Edward's voice turned hard, "He'll believe no such thing!"

"Why ever not?"

"Because, Danny, that is the second most absurd lie I have ever heard in my life!"

I looked at him curiously, "What's the first?"

He either didn't hear me (which wasn't very likely) or chose to ignore me, because he turned to me, appalled, "You can't honestly believe that what Jacob did to you was your fault?"

I sighed, exasperated, "You don't understand what I did, Edward."

"Then help me to."

"I can't. I—I'm not ready to talk about it."

"You know, I think there's a word for this. DENIAL."

I rolled my eyes, "You're making it sound like I need professional help or something."

"You certainly sound crazy enough for it."

I huffed in irritation and we ran in silence for a few moments, both of us too worked up to speak. He cooled down first.

"I'm sorry, Danny. I don't mean to pry, but it just… troubles me… that you don't know how amazing you really are."

"You don't know me, Edward."

"Then introduce me. Tell me. Let me in."

"I don't know, Edward. I can't tell you now."

"Then someday?"

"Maybe. Someday."

"Promise?" He wheeled around and stopped right in front of me, so that I had to stop quickly as well to avoid crashing into him. I looked up at him, into those goddamn eyes! How could anyone resist?

"Promise," I said, completely forgetting what I had just agreed to.

"Then I'll wait forever."

It seemed like time stopped as we stood there in the moonlight. _I'll wait forever_. I played those words over and over again in my mind. I thought I caught an undercurrent of another meaning in his tone, but I dismissed the thought, certain I was just projecting my own desires onto him.

"You know," Edward spoke again thoughtfully, "I thought we were letting go of the past."

I sighed, "We can pretend to. But the past will always be there, it's not exactly something you can escape from."

"Maybe not. Regardless—"

A twig snapped and both of us looked up. Edward pushed me behind him and dragged me to the shadows.

"Hey!" I protested. He raised his finger to his lips. I clammed up. We stayed and listened. After a while, a deer leapt through the clearing, heading away from us.

I looked at Edward skeptically, "A deer?"

"You can never be too careful. We're in wolf territory now."

"I thought the treaty line was erased though."

"Yes, but we haven't been here in a while, so we have no way of knowing the feelings of the current tribe members."

"Well, just to let you know, I'm fully capable of defending myself."

"Yes, but I'd feel much better if you weren't doing it alone."

I couldn't think of anything to say to that. Well, if it makes _him_ feel better… Finally, I huffed and said, "Fine. Let's go."

We ran for only a few more minutes and soon arrived at Billy's house. We stopped at the edge of the forest and looked at the house. I frowned. Something was wrong… The house looked exactly the same… yet something was off. I finally figured out what it was.

"All the lights are on," I whispered.

Edward apparently had the same notion, "Yes, something's happening."

Suddenly, I caught a whiff of something nasty. It smelled like the zoo… only worse.

"Ugh! What is _that_?" I exclaimed, holding my hand over my nose, right before I figured it out. It was almost the exact same smell that I smelled right when I killed Jacob. I shuddered at the memory.

"Wolves," Edward said, corroborating my conjecture as he grabbed my hand and pulled me toward him. I was glad that he remembered my request and didn't pull me behind him. Soon, the door opened and three wolves came out of the house, looking warily at us.

"There wouldn't be wolves right when you got here, huh?" Edward asked drily.

"Fine," I conceded, "you win."

"I didn't want to."

We watched them get closer. I wondered how we were supposed to communicate with them. Could wolves talk?

"Listen," Edward told me. I looked at him, puzzled. Then, he tapped his temple and I got it. I listened.

_"You are not welcome here,"_ the wolf in the middle thought.

"We come in peace," Edward spoke, "Besides, there is no territory anymore."

_"Yes, but this is still private property and we repeat that you are not welcome,"_ the wolf thought again.

Well, the wolf had us there, I thought.

"Please, sir. We really mean no harm. We only just came to see Billy, if he's in there," I said, making my voice as gracious and as polite as possible.

The air erupted in snarls and Edward and I backed an inch away. I wondered what I'd said wrong.

_"Sir?" _Edward thought. With a start, I realized that I could now hear his thoughts, too.

_"It never hurts to show a little respect,"_ I thought back.

_"For these creatures?" _he scoffed. Before I could shoot him a look, the wolf thought again.

_"Insolent bloodsucker! What do you not understand about not welcome! Your kind is not welcome on this property and most certainly not you! Billy is dying and you come here to torment him in his last moments? I've never heard such audacity! You, who killed his son and left him to clean up the mess!"_

I stepped back, stung by the wolves' thoughts. Bloodsucker… it was the exact same word that Jacob had used.

Edward stepped forward in anger, "You forget, pups, what his son did to her."

The answer was colder than nitrogen ice and seemed to reverberate in the night sky, _"Maybe the little slut deserved it."_

"Take that back." Edward's voice was deadly.

_"Never."_

There was a snarl of fury that erupted right beside me and I watched in horror as Edward sprang to an offensive crouch as the wolves did the same, ready to spring.

"NO!" I shouted as I launched myself in between Edward and the wolves. Edward tried to push me away, but I planted my boots into the dirt and refused to budge.

"Danny, get yourself somewhere safe," he said.

_"You'd better listen to your mate if you don't want to be ripped into shreds, which in any case we would be happy to do,"_ the wolf growled. I ignored him, turning to Edward.

"Edward, don't do this." I couldn't stand it if anything happened to him. Bringing him along had obviously been a mistake. At least if the wolves attacked, I would have been the only one in danger.

"I can't just ignore this, Danny," he said.

I looked him straight in the eye, "You can and you will." He glared back at me, then seemed to inwardly sigh. Finally he straightened up.

"You win," he said.

"Thank you."

I turned around to face the wolves. They stared at me, their expressions hostile.

"I won't deny that I am guilty for Jacob's death." I saw Edward open his mouth to protest, but I silenced him with a look, "But, will you not let me in to apologize for what I've done."

_"No matter how many times you apologize, it will never reverse what you've done."_

"I understand. To beg forgiveness then?"

_"It is unforgivable."_

"To make sure that Billy passes knowing that I am sorry for what I've done?" There was silence, and I could feel a hesitation among the group.

_"How do we know you and your mate are not here to hurt us more? We do not trust you," _the wolf finally thought. My mate? I thought, but then, quickly blocked it from my mind before Edward could see anything else.

"Then," I paused and thought about it for a moment, "You may escort me in alone. I may be strong, but the numbers are in your favor."

"Danny, NO!" Edward shouted, and the scene erupted again as he reached for me.

Suddenly, the door to the house banged open and we all froze, looking towards a figure that stood in the doorway. I frowned, the man looked familiar, but his face was all covered up, so I couldn't tell who he was.

"What is going on here? Can't you leave the old man in peace and quiet?" the shadow asked. The voice was so familiar. I struggled to place it. Then, he stopped in his tracks and stared at Edward and I, "What? Edward? Danny? What are you two doing here?" He pushed his hair out of his face, as if to see if it really was us, and I gasped. I knew that face. It hadn't changed in more than a hundred years.

"Seth?!" Edward and I spoke at the same time.

**Hmm…? What the hell is Seth still doing here? Those who want to find out review review review! Muahahahaha! Oh and by the way. If you've never heard Chopin's Nocturne Op. 32 No. 1, GO LISTEN TO IT!!! It's heartbreakingly beautiful. **

**Link: ****.com/watch?v=FdVvsLM9ZmM**

**Kisses!**

**starrytwilightgirl**


	33. Chapter 33 Passing

**Hey guys, sorry for updating late, but my computer totally crashed on me and it took me FOREVER to get it started and get the internet working again. Thanks you sooo much for the wonderful reviews. Mwah! Here's the new chapter you've been waiting for and enjoy!**

**Love,**

**starrytwilightgirl**

I caught my stride.  
I flew and flied.  
I know if destiny's kind, I've got the rest of my mind.  
But my heart, it don't beat, it don't beat the way it used to.  
And my eyes, they don't see you no more.  
And my lips, they don't kiss, they don't kiss the way they used to, and my eyes don't recognize you no more.

"For Reasons Unknown"  
-The Killers

DPOV

Seth grinned, "Hey guys. I didn't expect to see you here again, Danny."

I was horrified, "Seth… what—what are you still _doing here_?"

"You mean, why am I not six feet under like Sam and the others? Well, _someone_ had to take care of the old man, right?" He said, jerking his head towards the house. There was a smile on his face, but the wistfulness in his eyes was obvious. My lower lip trembled.

"Oh Seth, not you too."

"It's not as horrible as you think it is. Me and Billy have fun with each other."

"Oh God, I'm so sorry!" I blubbered, hiding my face in shame from him, "This should never have happened. It's all my fault." I walked forward, my arms out as if to hug him, but then stopped, uncertain if that was allowed. Seth noticed my hesitation and gave me a smile, holding his arms out, and I ran to him, ignoring the stink that was coming off of his skin and his body heat, which was so high, it was almost painful. Edward strode forward, too.

"Hello, Seth," he said, "It's been a long time."

"Hey man," Seth greeted him, clapping him on the shoulder, "It sure has. I hope these jokers here haven't been giving you any trouble, now."

Edward glowered, "Actually, I would appreciate it if they didn't insult Danny's virtue."

Seth frowned at the three wolves that were now staring at Seth and I, apparently agape at the fact that he could even touch me without bursting into flames, "Hey, I thought we agreed that no one was to blame for the incident. Especially not this girl here. I'll have you know that she's the sweetest, funniest, nicest person you will ever meet in your life." He patted my shoulder comfortingly. From the grumbles of the three wolves, they didn't agree. Seth rolled his eyes and turned to me again.

"Forget about these guys. They're new. They don't know you like I do."

I nodded, but I had more important things to worry about, "Seth, Billy—is he… really?"

Seth's eyes clouded over and he nodded sadly, "Yes. But for Billy, this is a blessing. He's been suffering through life for far too long. It's his time."

"I know. May I—may I go see him?"

Seth's eyes widened, "_May_ you? Of course you can! Come on in!"

I gave him a grateful smile, "Thanks, Seth!"

He led us into the house and we walked towards Billy's room. As I looked around, I realized that nothing had changed since the last time I'd been here. Everything was exactly the same. The sight brought a lump of remembrance into my throat that I quickly swallowed.

"Here we are," Seth whispered. I stood at the door, unable to move my feet. Edward and Seth waited for me to go in. Now that I was here, I was almost afraid to go in, afraid of what Billy would think of me, afraid of what I would find.

From behind me, Edward whispered, squeezing my shoulder, "It's okay, Danny. Don't worry about it. No one is going to blame you for anything. You don't even have to do this if you don't want to."

I frowned, "You sure you can't read my mind?"

"Like I said, you would know it if I could."

I took a deep breath, "No, no… I want to see him." Finally, I opened the door and slipped in. The room was dark, except for a lone lamp shining on the nightstand. On the bed was an old and shrunken form. Billy. His face was turned away from me.

"Seth, what was all that noise outside? Did something happen?"

I stood at his beside, gazing sadly down at Billy.

"Seth?" he asked again, and then turned around. I gasped. I could have sworn the number of lines on his face had multiplied and his eyes had the tired and haggard look of someone who had been worn out by life. But, when he saw me, the corners of his mouth turned up.

"Danny," he breathed, "an angel."

I sighed, "Hello, Billy. Yes, it's me, but I'm afraid I'm no angel."

"You're so beautiful," he said, his hand on my cheek.

I made a sound halfway between a sob and a snort, "Beauty is only skin deep. You know what I am now. You can feel the coldness of my skin."

"Yes, but I've learned long ago that you can't categorize people on what they are. Like you said, appearance is superficial."

"Billy, I came to see you so I could… so I could apologize… for Jacob…I'm so sorry… if I could somehow take it back…" I couldn't find the words. Billy shook his head.

"Shh…" Billy said, "you don't understand, Danny. Whether you had brought about his death or not, he still would have been lost to me. Our tribe has our own laws. For what he did, Jacob would have been exiled, cast out of our tribe forever. So you see, I should be the one apologizing to you. What Jacob did to you… that was unforgivable, inexcusable."

"Oh Billy, I don't know what to do. I feel so bad for what I've done… your only son. If I could change places with him, I'd do it in a second."

"Danny, look at me."

I did.

"What you need to do, Danny, are you listening?... what you need to do is forgive yourself. You didn't have control over what you were doing and now, I've finally accepted that Jacob had lost control as well, and I had no control over what he was going to do either. Let it go, it'll do you well. It has for me. Forgiveness is divine."

"How could I possibly…?"

"That's up to you. But it's important that you do so. Look what not letting go has done to me. It has shackled me here to this body for far longer than it should have."

"But you're leaving now. You're happy."

"Yes, very much so. Death is a welcome adventure now. Now, I have a very important question to ask you." His eyes were troubled.

"Yes? Anything."

"Do you, Danny, forgive me?"

"There's nothing to forgive."

"Do you?" he pressed.

I sighed, "Yes, of course Billy, I forgive you for whatever you think you've done."

"Thank you, my child." He raised his head up and gave me a kiss on the forehead, and laid it back down with a sigh. He fixed Edward with a stern look.

"You take care of her now, you hear?"

"Yes, sir, with all my heart."

"Of course you will, of course you will," he murmured. His eyes looked around.

"Seth?"

Seth stepped forward, "Yes sir?"

"Thank you… so much… for sticking with this old man. You've sacrificed so much."

"Anyone would have done so Billy," Seth said, his eyes soft on Billy.

"Yes, but you sacrificed your life, your youth."

"Hey! I'm still young! I can still whup those guys outside anytime!" Seth boasted.

Billy chuckled, "Of course you can!"

"Godspeed, Billy," Seth whispered.

"Thank you," Billy replied, his voice barely a whisper now. I remained by Billy's bedside, holding his hand as his eyelids dropped lower and lower until finally, they closed completely. I took his pulse and shook my head.

"His pulse is slow, dangerously slow. He'll be going soon."

And I was right, perhaps five minutes later, Billy uttered one last, final gasp and his hand dropped heavy in mine. I quietly and gently laid it down on his breast and stood up, looking down at him. It might have been a trick of the light, but I could have sworn there was a slight smile on his face, the smile of a peaceful, eternal slumber.

I placed a kiss on his old, grizzled head and whispered, "Rest in peace, Billy." And outside, a chorus of howls sprang up to honor the passing of a great elder.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The heavy clunk of a coffee mug reverberated around the brightly lit kitchen. I looked down at my hands on the table, slightly stunned by the progression of events. Billy was gone… which was good for him, he deserved a long rest, yet… I couldn't help but feel a sense of loss. A white hand crept toward me and took one of mine, giving a reassuring squeeze. I looked up to see Edward looking at me, concerned. I didn't need to read his mind to understand the question in his eyes. _Are you okay?_

I nodded and he paused to appraise my expression, then took his hand away. I barely stopped my fingers from reaching out and stopping him.

"Wow," Seth breathed, clutching the mug in his large hands, "I can't believe it. The old man's really… _gone_."

"It was his time to go. I'm happy for him," I whispered.

"Oh no, don't get me wrong. I'm happy for him too, but…geez. It's just so hard to believe. I've been with him for so long, it's hard to believe he's actually gone."

"Yeah, I know what you mean," I said, flashing back to the days after Bella died. My hand drifted to the center of my chest where the locket still hung.

"So how have you been Danny? I haven't seen you in forever! You kinda just disappeared on us. Like freakin' Houdini or something. Poof! Puff of smoke and you're gone!"

I snorted in laughter, although honestly, it wasn't that funny. That time of my life was extremely, cripplingly painful. Seth simply had the gift of making even the worse things seem funny.

"So, are you living with the Cullens now?"

My laughter died out. Now here was a touchy subject… "Um… "

"Unfortunately, Danny decided to go off on her own for a while, so no, she hasn't been living with us," Edward cut in. I stole a look at his face. Completely blank, the perfect poker face. I turned my gaze back at Seth.

Seth looked confused, "Oh! Well, I just assumed since…" he looked between Edward and me and back. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. Had he guessed…?

"So," Seth continued, perplexed, "what are you doing here?"

I sighed in relief, _So that's why he's confused_, "I'm just here temporarily, Seth. Alice is getting married again and she kind of shanghaied me into being her maid of honor." I smiled at the memory.

"Oh. Well, congratulations! To you and her! But, if you weren't at the Cullens… what have you been doing?"

"Well, I went back East and worked some odd jobs to save up money for college. I eventually got my bachelors, masters, and doctorate and I'm a professor now. But what I did doesn't really matter," I said earnestly, leaning forward, "the important thing is, what are _you_ going to do, Seth, now that you don't have to stay here and take care of Billy anymore?"

Seth sighed, "I honestly don't know. I haven't really thought about it much because I never thought Billy would actually _go_."

I nodded, "But do you want to go finish your schooling? Get a job?"

"I'd like to, but I still have my responsibilities here," he said.

"But I thought Billy was your only responsibility?" I asked. Edward looked confused too.

"Yes but," Seth looked proud, "I'm alpha now. I have a responsibility to my pack."

"Oh," I said, "that makes sense." Carlisle had explained to me the bureaucracy of alpha and beta in the wolf pack. But Edward looked confused.

"How?" he asked, "Sam and Emily had a child didn't they? Unless something happened to that child, or unless he didn't have a child himself, I can't imagine…" Now, I was confused. Why did it matter if Sam and Emily had a child? Edward noticed the puzzlement on my face and explained.

"Only descendents of previous alphas can become alpha himself, Danny. Jacob was supposed to be alpha, since Ephraim Black, his grandfather and the man we made the first treaty with, was the alpha. But Jacob didn't want that responsibility, so Sam, for reasons of seniority received the position. Thus, by the pack law, it is only Sam's children and children's children that can be alpha."

I analyzed this new information, "Maybe, like Jacob, he didn't want the position?"

"Well, not exactly," Seth said, "To remain ageless, I had to maintain my wolf form right? So when the other little midgets morphed, I was the oldest, the senior member. Thus, it was up to me to teach everyone else about the rules of the pack."

"Why did they morph?" Edward asked, "We moved out of the area a while ago."

"Yeah, but there were some vampires that happened around the area. We took care of them though."

I shuddered and banished the image from my mind as I thought of all the things that could have gone wrong. Seth might have ended up like Jacob…

"But, that doesn't explain how you became alpha…"

"Well, Sam's grandkid is one of the morphed ones. You met him outside, he's the beta."

"The gray one?" I asked quietly.

"Yep," Seth said.

I shuddered. He was the one who had basically threatened to kill us. I could tell Edward was thinking the same thing too because his face darkened just a bit. But the even balanced expression was back on within seconds. Seth continued his explanation.

"Well, it wasn't that he didn't want to be alpha. He just didn't really care either way. In the end, Billy made me alpha first, because of seniority, I was the only one who actually had any experience, and two, because he felt like he owed me something for sticking around and it didn't feel right to me to be taking money from the old man, so I just accepted this, which is really way cooler than a hundred dollar bill if you ask me."

"Wow," I finally said. Little Seth… now leader of his pack. I looked into his eyes. Well, maybe not so little anymore… Seth still looked the same, except for maybe longer, shaggier hair, but there was a new maturity in his eyes, a new understanding that wasn't there before.

Seth stared back and me and asked, "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Nothing…" I shrugged, "Just… you grew up. That's all. And don't get me wrong, that's totally fine, it's great! But… I just… I kind of miss the old you. I regret not being here for you."

Seth's eyes widened and suddenly he was crouched beside my chair so that he was eye level, my hands clasped in his humongous ones, "That's not true, Danny! It's still the old me under here! I may have grown up, but I'm still me!"

I sighed, "Yeah, I know. I just wish I'd been there."

"Well, I do too, but we can't keep dwelling on the past. We've just got to take what we've got and make the best with what we have! If there's anything I've learned from Billy all these years, it's this."

I smiled at him. I wasn't about to argue about it with him, but I believed that there were some things in life that you can't get rid of, things that left permanent scars.

"Thanks, Seth," I whispered.

"No problem."

"Look, um, can I help you with anything? Funeral arrangements? Anything at all? I'm thinking you'll be pretty busy the next couple of days…"

"Yeah, but you'll probably be busy too, what with being bride of honor and all. So no thanks, I'm good. Besides, us wolves kind of have our own funeral traditions, so you probably couldn't really help much anyway."

I looked down the hall toward Billy's room, "So, what _are_ you going to do with Billy?"

Seth looked down too, "Well, he'd asked to be cremated, so we were thinking about spreading his ashes in various places. Well, most of all we were thinking of erecting another tombstone next to Jacob's grave and scattering some of them there…"

My head cracked around to stare at Seth just as Edward hissed.

"Jacob's grave?" I whispered, my eyes wide, "I didn't know…"

Seth looked from me to Edward, his brow knitted, and continued, slowly, hesitatingly, "Well, yes, I mean, we had to do _something_ with him. The whole goddamn police force was out looking for him and you, so we just cremated his body and buried it."

"Here?" I asked.

"Danny…" Edward said. I looked at him and his face was pleading… for what?

"No, not here," Seth said, and I turned back to look at him, "first of all, because of the police and second of all, he was kicked out of the pack, so we couldn't bury him in La Push."

"So if not here, then where?"

"We took him pretty deep into the forest. In fact, I don't think it's even in state borders. It's probably somewhere in Canada."

Before I even knew what I was doing, I blurted out, "How do you get there?"

Edward groaned in exasperation, "Danny, are you _trying_ to make things as difficult for yourself as possible?"

I looked at Seth, waiting for the answer. He looked at me, torn between telling me or not. Of course, it didn't help that Edward was silently shaking his head behind me.

"Are—are you sure it's not gonna hurt you, Danny? I mean, after all…"

"Tell me," I commanded.

Seth looked back at Edward in resignation, "Hey dude—I mean, she looks like she's not gonna go anywhere until I tell her."

Edward sighed, "Danny doesn't know what's good for her. But since she already knows that it exists, you might as well tell her. Otherwise, she'll probably try to find it herself and get hopelessly lost."

I looked at him, offended, "I don't get lost anymore!"

He shrugged apologetically, "Sorry, just a precaution."

I looked back at Seth, "Well?"

He looked at me doubtfully for a minute before answering, "If you start at this house and go due north for maybe about seventy-five to a hundred miles, you'll get there. You'll know it when you see it; there's a marker."

I nodded absentmindedly. Suddenly, a far away memory drifted to mind. I smiled.

"Hey Seth. I never got to say thank you."

"For what?"

"For driving Alice's Porsche home for me. Thank you."

"You still remember that?! It was no problem. In fact, I should be thanking you. It was the sweetest ride of my life. You don't know how many chicks I picked up along the way with wheels like that," he joked. I laughed. The mood soon lightened and we began talking about random subjects, simply reconnecting again. Yet even as we talked, the image of a marked grave in the deepest part of the woods lingered in the back of my mind. The others joined us in the kitchen, still in their wolf forms, glowering at us. Still, boys will be boys and, deciding that Edward and I weren't going to spring anytime soon and that the conversation was incredibly boring to them, they eventually left their guard posts to go raid the fridge.

Eventually, the conversation lulled and the others, noticing the silence, zipped to the table side again, standing at attention next to Seth. He looked down at the wolves.

"Hey guys," he scolded, "chill. These are friends." The hackles on the back of their necks seemed to raise even higher if that was possible.

"That's okay, Seth. I understand. Besides, it's about time that Edward and I get going anyway," I said starting to get up. I didn't want to cause strife between Seth and what was probably the only family he had left. Edward pushed his chair back and got up with me.

"You're not going because of these jokers here are you?" Seth asked, alarmed.

"Of course not!" I reassured Seth, "Really! It's four in the morning. Alice will be expecting us back soon."

"All right," Seth said reluctantly, "But come back and visit me though! I've missed all of you!"

"Of course we will Seth," Edward promised, "Don't worry about it." I bit my lip worriedly. I wasn't sure when I'd be back after Alice's wedding… The situation with the Cullens… well, more like one Cullen in particular… was just too complicated.

Edward turned to leave but I stopped him. If the Cullens ever moved back to Forks, I didn't want to be the source of any enmity or bad blood between them and the wolves. I knew Seth was on our side, but it seemed as if he was the only one.

"Wait," I said. He stopped and looked back at me curiously. I turned my head to the three wolves that were flanking Seth's side and looking—or more like glaring—as me warily. I walked cautiously toward them and they shrank back and growled at me, a clear warning not to go any closer. I immediately froze in my tracks.

"Danny," Edward said uneasily, "what are you doing?!" He made a grab for my arm but I shook him off. Seth only looked at me, mouth open in shock at my daring. I slowly knelt down onto the floor, so that the heads of wolves were taller than mine, a position of vulnerability so that the wolves would know I honestly didn't mean them any harm. Edward hovered above me anxiously. I looked the wolves in the eyes. I briefly looked into Seth's mind and drew out their names.

"Joshua, Matt, Steven," I said. They started as I called them out each by name, yelping in surprise. Then they settled down and fixed me with a suspicious scowl.

"I know we didn't exactly get off on the right foot…" I started.

"_That's for sure_," Joshua, the grey wolf, Sam's grandson, thought, _"Of course, that's not our fault. We have a duty to protect our tribe."_

"Yes, I know. And I agree. It _is_ my fault," I said.

"_Then what the hell do you want, bloodsucker?"_

Edward started to open his mouth to protest but I waved him off. I didn't need the wolves any angrier than they already were right now.

"I know it's asking too much to be friends—"

"_You're right. It _is_ asking too much."_

"But if we cannot be friends, can we at least not be foe? I don't want to be your enemy."

"_We cannot overlook what you did."_

"Then don't. But what I did has nothing to do with anybody else. If you cannot make peace with me, then please, don't make it impossible to make peace with the others."

They stared at me, their expression contemplative now rather than hostile.

"The Cullens are your allies in protecting the tribe. They don't want any more destruction of human life than you do."

They wolves looked at each other. I could see them thinking over the advantages of having the Cullens on their side, especially Carlisle. They were already remembering the story of the time when the newborns attacked and when Jacob had an entire right side of his body crushed.

"_Why should we trust you? Any of you?"_

"Guys," I said, "I'm kneeling in front of you right now. If you decided to kill me, I'd be dead right now. What more proof of my sincerity do you want?"

"Please," I said softly, holding their gaze as I held out my hand in offering. There was silence.

"Dude…" Seth started.

"No!" I shot at Seth, "I want them to decide this by themselves." I waited. Finally…

"_Fine. But under one condition…_"

"Anything," I said eagerly.

"_You are never to show your face on our land ever again."_

I didn't blink, "Just me?"

"_Yes, just you."_

"Deal."

"Danny!" Seth protested. I already knew what he was thinking.

"Don't worry, Seth. You'll just never see me _here_, that's all." And my gaze returned to the three wolves. The big grey wolf in the middle cautiously came forward until he was towering over me. I could feel Edward tense behind me. Joshua held out his paw and I grasped it gently and we shook on it.

"_Deal," _he thought. As soon as the word materialized from Joshua's thoughts, Edward had his hand on my arm and pulled me up to my feet slightly behind him in one fast fluid movement, his arm in front of me.

"You about done risking your life there?" he asked tersely.

"Yup," I answered back triumphantly, having gotten what I wanted now. He rolled his eyes and commenced dragging me out the door.

"See you later, Seth," Edward said over his shoulder, "I better get this girl to Carlisle and have her head examined." I smacked him on the arm in retaliation.

"Bye Seth," I waved cheerily. He waved. Edward let go of me as soon as we crossed the front door. I straightened out my jacket.

"Thank you," I said sarcastically, "although I _could _have walked out the door myself."

Edward snorted, "It seems as if it had been up to you, you wouldn't have walked out that door at all."

"You know Seth wouldn't have let anything happen to me," I reasoned. I had him there and he knew it.

"Yeah well, maybe I just like to make sure myself," Edward muttered, "Are you _trying_ to give me a heart attack?"

"That would be physically impossible," I pointed out.

"It seems like with you, anything is possible," Edward murmured. I turned to look at him, my brow furrowed as I tried to decipher what he meant, but he was turned away from me, so I gave up.

"Come on, let's go," he said. I hesitated. There was one more thing I wanted to do… Edward noticed my hesitation and turned around to see me looking towards the north. He got it.

Edward groaned, "Oh _no_, Danny. Come _on_."

"You go on home without me, Edward. I'll be there soon," I said softly, already striding in the direction of the North Star. I heard Edward sigh and then his footsteps following me. I turned around.

"Seriously, Edward, _go. Home_," I ordered. He set his face resolutely and looked me straight in the eyes.

"No. You're cracked if you think I'm letting you go anywhere alone after this."

I raised an eyebrow, "Cracked?"

"Yes, cracked."

I sighed. I had my reasons for wanting to go alone, not the least of which was if I just completely broke down, Edward wouldn't be there to see. I didn't know how visiting Jacob would affect me. I looked at Edward, to see if there was any chance he might budge. Nope. Not a chance. There was no flicker of weakness in those golden eyes. I groaned.

"God Edward, you're a stubborn ass today," I commented, scowling.

He smiled, a crooked little smile that was perfect in its imperfection, and said, "As long as you're safe, love." My breathing hitched as that last word reverberated in the air around us and my head cracked around to look at him, but he was already starting towards the north and didn't seem to think anything of it. I let out a huff and calmed myself. _Be reasonable, Danny. Of course he didn't mean anything by it. It's just an expression._ I ran and caught up with him and soon, we were both sprinting towards the north.

The forest grew darker and darker as we raced on and less and less moonlight streamed through. Finally, we reached the heart, the darkest part, of the forest and I saw it. There, on the ground, was a plain little tombstone, a perfect square of stone among the dark towering trees. Edward saw it, too. I walked closer and knelt down. There was an inscription on it.

"From morn  
To noon he fell, from noon to dewy eve,—  
A summer's day; and with the setting sun  
Dropp'd from the Zenith like a falling star."

I read it out loud. That was all it said. No name, no dates. Just that one single quote.

Edward frowned, "I know that quote."

"Not surprising. It's from _Paradise Lost_ by John Milton. Not an entirely unknown piece of literature."

Edward's lips twitched at my sarcasm, "Yes, that's what I thought. Appropriate choice." We stood there in silence, looking at the small grey marker. And as I stood there, I felt… nothing… nothing besides a deep chasm of heartache and regret. I didn't know what I was waiting for, whether it was answers or forgiveness, but nothing came. It was just me and Edward and that tiny little marker.

"I'm sorry, Jacob," I whispered.

"Danny, you're shaking," Edward said in alarm. I looked down, surprised, at my hands. I was, indeed, trembling. I could feel a wave of sorrow descending on me and I gasped for air.

"I guess it's time to go then," I managed to say, and I ran, getting away from the awful dead silence of that place. I could hear Edward racing after me and I only ran faster. I could feel it coming, and I didn't want him to be there when it did. But, I couldn't run fast enough, and soon, he caught up with me. He grabbed my arm and turned me around to look at him.

"Hey," he said, "are you al—?" He didn't even finish his sentence before I broke down and sagged against him, dissolving into hysterical sobs as it all came back to me. The beach, the feel of the sand between my toes, Jacob's angered expression, Jacob pressing into me, Jacob hurting me, all culminating in my waking up to see myself covered in his blood… Edward's arms tightened around me as he held me to him.

"I'm sorry, Danny," he said, "I should have known this would be a bad idea, I should have stopped you, I— " Disgusted with myself, I pushed myself away from him. I had told myself I wouldn't let him see me cry and what was I doing now? I got a glimpse of his face as I turned away. He looked hurt. _Great, now I'm hurting Edward, too_. I crept behind a tree and slumped down against it, burrowing my head into my arms and wishing for all the world that I would just disappear and never be able to harm anyone ever again.

"Danny…" Edward said softly. I could hear his footsteps approaching my tree.

"Just go home, Edward," I croaked between the sobs, "you don't need to see me like this." There was silence in the woods, besides my frequent hiccups and gasps for air, and I would have sworn that he had, indeed, gone home, except for the fact that I could still _feel_ his presence near me. Then, there was a sigh and I felt footsteps coming closer and closer and I tensed, ready to scurry over to the next tree if need be, but he stopped right at the tree and I heard him sit down on the other side. Eventually, my crying subsided and now, pure silence reigned. I concentrated on simply breathing in and out and tried (futilely) not to think of the being on the other side of the tree. A moment passed.

"Are you feeling better now?" Edward asked. I carefully considered it for a moment. Was I?

Finally, I answered, "Yes."

He hesitated, and then asked, "Can I come over?"

"Please," I said before I could even think. I snapped my mouth shut immediately after and cursed my impulsiveness. Well, I wasn't about to take it back now. He crawled over to my side of the tree and sat next to me. It seemed like he was being careful that no part of us was touching, as if that would just set me off again. I hated it, but I knew it was probably for the best. For a while we just sat there, staring as the forest grew lighter and lighter. Bird started chirping and the sound of early morning filled the crisp winter air.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Edward asked again. I shook my head no.

"Please, can we just… sit here for a while? I don't really want to have to think about it, about anything."

"Sure," Edward agreed and we sat there in silence for a few more minutes until I couldn't stand it anymore. It wasn't working.

"Talk to me, Edward," I said desperately.

"What would you like to talk about?"

I hesitated, "Well, I've always wondered…"

"What?" he asked, sounding curious.

"I'vealwayswonderedwhyitisthatyouchangedme." I blurted it out quickly, the words blending together. He was silent for a while, and I wondered if I made him mad. I snuck a glance at him, but he didn't seem to be angry… just thoughtful and… torn, for some reason.

"Edward?" I asked. He turned to face me and smiled, his perfect lips crooking up higher on one side than on the other, the right side to be exact.

"I'll tell you…" he said. I held my breath in anticipation. "…when you tell me why it is, exactly, you feel Jacob is your fault," he finished. I let the air I had been holding out in a huff of exasperation and disappointment.

I pouted, "That's not fair." He only laughed. It was plain that he wasn't going to tell anytime soon. I nudged him and he nudged me back. I laughed and was surprised to see that the sorrow was gone. We sat there for a few more minutes until I got up, brushing off my jeans. I extended my hand to Edward, but he was already up.

"Come on," I said, "We're late and Alice is probably fit to kill us by now, wondering where we are."

"Hmm… mustn't push the wrath of Alice," Edward joked. I rolled my eyes and started running home, Edward close to my side.

"You know, Danny. I know you want to forget everything, but could you tell me at least this? What were you looking for at the grave?" he asked seriously as trees rushed by us in a blur.

I thought about it…, "I'm not really sure myself… answers? Redemption? Forgiveness? I don't know."

Edward seemed to mull over my answer for a while, and then, asked me again, "Well, did you find it?"

"No."

His answer got my head spinning, "Maybe you've been looking in the wrong place."

That shut me up for the rest of the trip home as I turned his answer over and over in my mind. It seemed like a simple comment, yet… have I been looking for… something, I wasn't even sure what… in the wrong place all this time? I hadn't found whatever I was looking for, that was obvious. Yet, where else would I look? The answer to that question troubled me all throughout the day, making me do even the simplest things wrong. Alice grew frustrated as she finally made Rosalie take over my tasks and scolded me for being so absentminded. Still, I simply sat there and thought and thought and thought. _Where else would I look?_

**So… what do you think? Voice your opinion and REVIEW!!!**

**-starrytwilightgirl**


	34. Chapter 34 Christmas

_To be or not to be, that is the question  
I don't know what to do I'm in a state of confusion  
All I want from you is your love and affection  
Is this love real or just an illusion?_

"So Confused"  
-2 Play

DPOV

I sat on the low rocky wall that surrounded the house and watched with amusement as Alice screamed at Emmett, who was lobbing snowballs at her when he was supposed to be helping her hang up holly around the house. I swung my feet and had my chin in one hand and a book of poetry dangling from the other, momentarily forgotten as I watched Alice now chasing Emmett around the yard. Apparently, he had knocked one of the holly wreaths off.

"A penny for your thoughts," Edward suddenly materialized by my side. I smiled and looked at him. It always boggled me how he managed to sneak up on me without my noticing. Edward was a ninja. I inwardly giggled at my juvenile word choice.

"Only a penny?" I teased, "I believe my thoughts are worth more than that."

Edward chuckled and played along, "Alright then. How much would you ask for your thoughts, Miss Rory?"

"Well, Mr. Cullen. I'm afraid they can't be bought," I replied, in a mock serious tone.

Edward pretended to think about it for a minute, "Hmm… then how about… your thoughts…in return for…."

I raised an eyebrow, wondering where he was going with this, "Yes?"

"Everlasting devotion."

I blinked twice and turned to look at him. He was still looking at me, too, and he seemed to be waiting for my reaction. My mouth went dry and I couldn't speak. What did he mean?

"You're being annoyingly cryptic, do you know that?" I finally managed to say.

"Coming from the girl who's blocking out all her thoughts…"

I snorted, "That's an entirely different matter."

"Maybe you don't see what's right in front of you," Edward suggested, his golden eyes seeming to be trying to tell me something, something I just couldn't figure out.

I answered literally, "Well… I see snow… lots of snow… trees… the sky… clouds… and you're standing right in front of me, too…"

Edward broke into a smile, "Exactly."

I stared at him, not sure what he meant. I started feeling self-conscious, sitting there and staring right at him, at every angle and curve of his face. I turned around. Emmett and Alice were now out of sight. It was just Edward and I there now. I fingered the pages of the book in my hand in restlessness.

"What are you reading?" Edward suddenly asked.

"Just some poetry," I answered, "Tennyson, to be specific." Edward made a little start and I turned to look at him. He was looking at me quite strangely.

"What?" I asked.

He shook his head, as if to shake himself out of it and answered, "Nothing… nothing… it's just that, there was someone else… who liked Tennyson, too."

"Oh. Well, they have good taste. Tennyson is my favorite."

"Really, now?" Edward asked.

Before I could answer, Edward suddenly shot his arm out behind my head, shouting, "Look out!" I turned around just in time to see a snowball smack into his hand at the exact position where my head had been seconds before. I looked further out to see Emmett standing there, hands covered in bits of snow and grinning wider than a jack-o-lantern. I narrowed my eyes and smacked my book down onto the wall.

"Oh Emmett," I screamed, "you are SO dead." And quickly, I whipped up a snowball of my own and hurled it at him. He ducked and it sailed over his head. He looked back at me and grinned, sticking out his tongue and raised his hands to his temples, palms out, in the na-na-na-boo-boo gesture. I huffed in exasperation and chased after him. A brief look of horror crossed his face before he turned and fled. Edward ran after me.

"Oh, I'm going to get him," I said through gritted teeth.

Edward laughed, "Plan of attack?"

I thought about it for a moment, "You in on this?"

"Of course!"

"Okay, then you herd him towards the lake and I'll push him in. He'll fall right through the ice. That water has _got_ to be cold, even for a vampire."

"Hmmm," Edward said, "I like it. Devious."

"Well you know me," I muttered, "Come on! He's getting away." And we raced after Emmett's footprints in the snow.

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I stumbled into my room, already pulling at my sweater. I was soaked from the snowball fight. But not as soaked as Emmett was. I smiled. We managed to throw Emmett into the lake and as I predicted, he fell right through the ice with a large crack and came up spluttering and promising revenge. I sighed. I was going to have to keep my eye on him the next few days…

I changed into a dry set of clothing, wadded up my wet clothes and tossed it into the corner. After more than seventy years, I was still somewhat of a slob. I went to my laptop and turned it on, seeking to get some work done. Alice had shooed me and all the others upstairs, threatening imminent destruction if she saw even a glimpse of us downstairs before she called us. Although bemused by what she could possibly be planning, I had gladly trudged upstairs. I opened up the data chart and pored over the findings, trying to find a trend in the seemingly random distribution of numbers. However, I was distracted by a window that popped up.

**toomoodyforwords07 says: Hello. Haven't heard from you in a while.**

I smiled. He was right. Because of Alice's insatiable obsession with every little detail of the wedding, I hadn't been online much.

**smartypants18 says: Hey. Yeah, I know. I've been busy helping plan someone's wedding. I've rarely had a day off. **

There was a long pause and, concerned I typed back.

**smartypants18 says: Hello? Are you still there?**

The answer came back quickly.

**toomoodyforwords07 says: Yes… I'm sorry. I just spaced out for a minute. You're helping plan someone's wedding? **

**smartypants18 says: Haha, supposedly. She's doing all the planning. I'm merely one of her henchmen.**

**toomoodyforwords07 says: This someone, she's a friend of yours?**

**smartypants18 says: Like a sister.**

Toomoodyforwords was quiet again. I frowned.

**smartypants18 says: Am I sensing some suspicion here? You're awfully quiet.**

**toomoodyforwords07 says: Sorry, sorry. Just a lot of things on my mind. So, are the kids excited?**

That stumped me for a minute. The kids? The kids! That was right. I was supposed to be the mother of two kids. I bit my lip, feeling guilty over this humongous lie. But what else could I do? I couldn't just type, hey guess what? I'm a vampire. I don't age and I can never have kids! But if I was human and really did have kids, what would they be excited for?

**smartypants18 says: For what? The wedding?**

**toomoodyforwords07 says: It's Christmas Eve. **

I could almost hear the amusement in his voice that I had overlooked this very important date. I barely refrained from slapping my forehead. Of course! Christmas Eve! How could I forget? For a liar, I was pretty bad at it.

**smartypants18 says: Oh right! Of course! Haha, apparently you're not the only one who's been spacing out. Yeah, they're just bouncing off the walls!**

I wonder if my words sounded as fake to him as they did to me.

**toomoodyforwords07 says: This late? You let them stay up this late?**

Shit. How late was it? I looked at the clock and frowned. It was only nine. Was there some unwritten rule of motherhood that you never let your kids stay up 'till nine? I wracked my own childhood memories. My bedtime as a little kid was later than that, usually 9:30.

**smartypants18 says: It's only nine. **

He was silent again as I waited anxiously. Had I messed up somewhere? Could he guess, somehow, that I wasn't exactly thirty-eight, married, and with two kids? Finally, he responded.

**toomoodyforwords07 says: Where ARE you?!?!**

I let out a sight of relief. Of course. He thought I was still on the East Coast. It would have been one in the morning there, way past any kid's bedtime.

**smartypants18 says: Oh, haha. I'm in Alaska right now.**

**toomoodyforwords07 says: Your friend is holding her wedding THERE? In the dead of winter?**

I cursed. I had forgotten that any sane person would go to Alaska during the dead of winter, much less hold her wedding there. Unless that person was a vampire…

**smartypants18 says: Um…. She's pretty crazy?**

**toomoodyforwords07 says: Apparently so.**

It seemed like he accepted that lame excuse and so, deciding that I'd walked on enough thin ice for today, I changed the subject and we went on talking about who would win in an intellectual fistfight, Aristotle or Plato, until the early hours of the morning. At around five, Alice's voice blasted around the house, so much that I could actually feel the walls shaking. I clapped my hands to my ears.

"EDWARD!!!!! CAN YOU COME DOWN HERE PLEASE?!?! AND EVERYONE OTHER THAN EDWARD, YOU'D BETTER STAY WHERE YOU ARE… _OR ELSE_!!!"

I lowered my hands in time to hear the complaints from the others for Alice to lower her voice.

"Calm down, Alice! I'm coming!" I jumped and stared at the wall that I was leaning against. Edward's voice sounded so close, as if he were right next to me. I shook my head and wrote it off as the result of super vampire hearing. I turned back to the computer, only to be puzzled by the words on the screen.

**toomoodyforwords07 says: I'm sorry. I have to go. Someone's calling me. I'll talk to you later though.**

I stared at the screen bemused. Funny how Alice had just called Edward and… I shook my head emphatically. But no… that was impossible. It didn't mean anything. Just coincidence. And I was prevented from having to think about it anymore by Alice's bell-like tones.

"Okay, Danny, you can come down now! Everyone else can come down too!" As I closed my laptop and walked toward the door, I idly wondered why Edward had been called down first before it finally struck me that he had already seen what she was planning in her mind. Thus, there was no use in surprising him. Stupid, stupid, stupid… I was embarrassingly slow today. But not slow enough to forget to walk cautiously forward in the dark. I had no idea of knowing what Alice's surprises were. I could see the others creeping just as cautiously down the stairs. Suddenly, the lights blazed on, almost knocking me back with their brightness.

"Surprise!!!! Merry Christmas!!!" Alice enthused as she tossed confetti in the air. I blinked a couple of times before the scene finally hit me. In the place where Edward's piano used to be was a giant Christmas tree, so giant that I didn't know how I could have missed it, all hung with twinkling lights, delicate glass ornaments, and what looked like fairy dust. There was holly hung all around, a log wood fire blazing in the fireplace (although I had no idea why, since we as vampires didn't really need it), and thirteen stockings hanging above it, one for each of us. And I swear, I had never seen so much tinsel in my life. For a few seconds, I could only gape.

"So, what do you think?" Alice asked. Everyone else was silent, equally stunned by the holiday-ness of it all. I was the first to find my voice.

"Holy mother of God… did… did you buy out Christmas-R-Us or something, Alice?" I squeaked, my eyes still wide.

"No, of course not, who do you think I am? I only limited myself to half of their supplies there," she said indignantly. Only half… of course. Then, her expression turned sad and anxious.

"Don't you like it?" she asked.

Carlisle found his voice too, "Of course we do, Alice. We're just all… very surprised. We certainly weren't expecting this."

"No, you don't like it. I can tell," her lower lip began quivering. Jasper patted her shoulder in reassurance. I felt bad. I, in truth, actually kind of liked it, now that my eyes were starting to get accustomed to all the glitter and colors.

"No, no. Really, Alice. We love it. It's just like walking into a Christmas catalog. It's great. It's even more amazing that you managed to do all this in one night."

Alice beamed, "Thanks, Danny! Now come on! Let's open some presents!!!" And she pulled my arm and almost ripped it off dragging me to the tree. I thanked heaven that I had remembered to buy gifts for everyone.

"Wait, Alice! Let me go get my stuff first!" I protested.

"Okay, but hurry," Alice replied, "we can't start without you." And she shoved me towards the stairs, so hard that I had to catch myself on the railing so I wouldn't fall forward. Shaking my head, I raced upstairs to my room and retrieved the wrapped presents I'd stashed.

When I went downstairs, the merriment commenced. I was surprised that so many people had thought of me, and a bit sheepish as well, since I wasn't really expecting anything. I had opened what seemed like the last item and was watching everyone else open their packages when I felt someone behind me. I turned around to find Edward, with a package in his hands.

"For you," he said simply, holding the package out.

I looked at it, startled, "Oh Edward, you didn't have to get me anything."

"It's Christmas. Of course I did. And even if I didn't, I would have done it anyway," he said, smiling at me rather mischievously. I took the package and scrutinized it. Our conversation from the other day came back into my mind…

"It's not really a miniature piano, is it?" I asked doubtfully.

Edward sighed, "Just open it, Danny. I can promise you that I didn't buy it. I've had it for a long time."

I carefully peeled apart the tape that held the wrappings together and pushed the paper aside to reveal... a book. I turned it over to read the cover.

"The Children of the Night," I read aloud, "A Book of Poems by Edwin Arlington Robinson."

"I was going to give you that miniature piano, but then you mentioned that you liked poetry," Edward explained.

I stared at him, hoping to God that he was kidding about the miniature piano, but I couldn't tell if he was. I turned my attention back to the worn book and flipped to the first page. I looked, surprised at the inscription on the front.

"It's autographed," I said, pointing out the obvious.

"I met Robinson when he was visiting Chicago once. He was a quiet man. He had an interesting story though."

"Hmm…" I said, repeating the name in my head to see if it rang any bells, "I don't think I've ever heard of him."

"That's not surprising," Edward said, "He's not as recognizable as other American poets, like Poe, Emerson, or Cummings."

"So what's the story?" I asked him, fingering the leathery binding. It was amazing how after almost two hundred years, the book was still intact.

"Well, he wasn't exactly a lucky man, so to say. His life was beset by tragedies. His father died, resulting in his family going bankrupt. His brother became addicted to morphine and his mother died soon after of black diphtheria. The mortician wouldn't even bury her, so Robinson and his brothers had to bury her themselves."

My eyes were unwavering on his face, which was carefully composed, "That's… quite unfortunate."

"That's not all," Edward said.

I raised my eyebrows in disbelief, "You mean there's more?"

"Yes," Edward answered.

"What else could have possibly happened to the poor guy?"

"He fell in love," Edward said simply. I was taken aback by this statement.

"That's not exactly something to mourn…" I started, and then remembered my own troubles, "…I guess."

"Her name was Emma Shepherd. He loved her madly, but didn't think that, as a poet, he could handle marriage and a family."

By now, I was completely absorbed in the story and I asked breathlessly, "What happened?"

He turned his full gaze on me and gave me a bittersweet smile, "He introduced her to his eldest brother, Herman, with whom she was soon married."

"That must have been hard for him," I whispered. I knew exactly how Robinson felt.

"It was. He finally ended up asking her for her hand in marriage, twice. And she rejected it both times. Needless to say, this didn't go over well with Herman."

"So what happened to him in the end? Did he--?"

"No, he died a bachelor," Edward said.

"Ah." Of course. Because that's how the world worked didn't it? You can't always have what you want. We were silent for a while and when I glanced over at Edward, there was an expression on his face, almost one of desperation. I wondered if it was over Robinson, or something else.

"Thank you for the book," I finally said, "I really like it."

The strange expression disappeared from his face like melting snow after the sun came out, "I really like his poems. I think you'll like them too."

I looked at the cover again, "Children of the Night… that's really… really…"

Edward laughed, "Appropriate?"

I laughed too, "Yeah."

I pulled my last package from behind my back, "Actually Edward, I have something for you, too."

Edward's eyes widened, "For me? That really wasn't necessary, Danny?"

"Yeah, well. I opened yours, so now you have to take mine," I joked.

He laughed in compliance and took the package, unwrapping it as I watched anxiously. I had the toughest time trying to decide what to get for Edward. I couldn't think of what he could possibly want. It seemed that he had everything… And then, when I was scrounging around my house one day, I found them. I was loathe to part with them. It was nice to be able to see those chocolate brown eyes looking at you again. But I knew it wasn't fair that I had the privilege and Edward didn't…

Edward finally had them opened and he stared down at the little black boxes in confusion, "What's this?"

I swallowed down the huge lump in my throat and replied, "Tapes. Video tapes."

"Of?" he asked still puzzled. My vocal capabilities used up for the movement, I nodded nervously toward the white labels on the backside of the plastic cassettes. He read them silently and stayed silent. I knew what they said already: they were Bella's videotapes from when she was a child, all the way from age one to fifteen. I watched him fretfully and finally forced myself to speak.

"I- I know that you didn't get to spend as much time with her as you wanted, as you should have... And I knew there was a lot more that she wanted to tell you, wanted to share about herself that she couldn't… And I wasn't really sure what to give you… so I was just sort of looking around my house one day and… I'd tracked my parents belongings down when they died… I wasn't sure, I'm not sure if this… is too much for you, but… I just couldn't think of anything else at the time… if it is too much, please tell…" I was babbling on like an idiot while Edward still stared at the little black boxes in silence. Suddenly he shushed me. I was prepared for a reprimand, for bringing back unnecessarily painful memories, when unexpectedly, he hugged me.

"Thank you, Danny," he whispered into my hair. The thought occurred to me that I'd never be able to stop thinking about him now with his scent saturated all the way into my scalp. I would literally not be able to get him out of my hair. I shook the random thought away and turned back to the situation at hand.

"Are…are you sure it's not too much?" I asked nervously.

"No, just…" Edward hesitated.

I looked at him worriedly, "What?"

"Are you ready to give me this? She was as much a part of your life as she was part of mine." he pulled back and looked me in the eyes. I sighed in relief. That's what he was worried about! Looking at him, I was confident in my answer.

"Yes."

He looked at me some more, as if checking to see any weakness, but there was none and he simply squeezed my arm comfortingly.

For the rest of the morning, we watched the others enjoying their gifts, or playing with their gifts in Emmett's and Jasper's case (they got new video games). Rosalie was playing carols on the piano and I had gone out on the hunt for ingredients in order to make everyone (literally) Bloody Mary's. I stood near the kitchen doorway after having disposed of the seal I'd caught outside and watched Jasper and Emmett compete at their new games, laughing when Emmett lost and let out a few choice curse words that had Esme scolding at him.

Edward appeared next to me and was smiling at the pair as well, "As you can see, Emmett really gets into his video games."

I looked up at him, "Do you play?"

"Occasionally. I'm not as enthusiastic as those two, however."

Suddenly a video game controller went flying over and I caught it before it could go soaring over my head and smash into pieces in the kitchen. As I got it, I looked up and saw a curious little plant that I sincerely hoped was a hallucination. I quickly tossed the controller back at Jasper and prayed that no one else noticed the berries. I was about to step away from the unfortunate doorway when Edward's voice stopped me in my tracks.

"Mistletoe," he said, surprised. If I my heart wasn't already as still as stone, it would've stopped just then.

"Y-yeah." I said, turning to face him, only to step back as I realized how close we were. Was it just me, or did the doorway seem to get smaller?

He laughed, "What was that old myth again?"

He was silent for a while after that, only looking at me with an unintelligible expression as I fidgeted and looked elsewhere, anywhere except at him. Finally, not able to stand the silence, I did the only thing I ever did in a situation like this: I babbled.

"In fact, it's quite strange that that myth should have popped up since mistletoe is really quite poisonous. European mistletoe actually causes gastrointestinal problems, like diarrhea and stomach pain, along with low pulse. It harms trees too, so much so that people actually called it the vampire plant because it drains tress of water and minerals…" I forcefully stopped myself, kicking myself mentally. Really? Diarrhea and stomach pain? How much dorkier could I be? I peeked through my eyelashes at Edward and his expression was now one of amusement as he watched my discomfort. He slowly leaned toward me and I swear my breathing stopped as I watched him get closer and closer.

Finally, his lips were right by my ear and he whispered, "Well… I guess we're lucky that we don't have to worry about _that_, aren't we?" And then, ever so softly, ever so gently, he kissed my forehead and whispered, "Merry Christmas, Danny." The spot where his lips touched my skin burned with a strange, but pleasant fire. He pulled away and I stared at him, but he was no longer smiling. He made a slight nod and then, vamoosh!, he disappeared. I stood staring at the place where he had stood for a minute, and then moved myself out of the treacherous doorway and went back to observing the festivities, dazed and confused with what just happened.

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I placed all my presents on the floor of my room and stared for a moment at the little black book of poetry on top. My mind was still in a turmoil over Edward's actions today: the whole everlasting devotion thing, the story about Robinson, the kiss. I wasn't really sure what it all meant. Maybe… but no. That was impossible! For a minute, I indulged myself in a fantasy, a fantasy of a world that included just me… and him. But I soon stopped myself. I was being vain and conceited! Why was I so special? Besides, this thinking led to the ultimate loss. Didn't I learn my lesson? I picked up the book, hoping that maybe, I could find some respite in that. I flopped down onto a chair and flipped the book open. I groaned. Even the pages smelt of Edward. I took a long deep breath of the addicting perfume and then forced myself to concentrate on what was in front of me. A glint of satin caught my attention. It was one of those old books, with the ribbon attached that you used to save the page. I turned to the page in question and looked at it in puzzlement. Some of the ink was smudged and the corner was dog-eared, as if it had been frequently read and turned to and saved. Brow furrowed, I read the selection.

"The Story of the Ashes and the Flame," I murmured, and then started reading silently, becoming more and more perturbed as I read.

"_No matter why, nor whence, nor when she came,  
There was her place. No matter what men said,  
No matter what she was; living or dead,  
Faithful or not, he loved her all the same.  
The story was as old as human shame,  
But ever since that lonely night she fled,  
With books to blind him, he had only read  
The story of the ashes and the flame__."_

_There she was always coming pretty soon  
To fool him back, with penitent scared eyes  
That had in them the laughter of the moon  
For baffled __lovers__, and to make him think --  
Before she gave him time enough to wink --  
Sin's kisses were the keys to Paradise."_

One line caught my eye especially…. "as old as human shame…" I trembled. What did this mean? Was Edward trying to say anything? He couldn't possibly… I was just being paranoid and wishful wasn't I? The ribbon could have just been left there by accident, a random occurrence… But then again, all the smudges, the dog eared page… What did it mean? And I sat there for the rest of the day, as baffled as ever.

**Hey everyone! Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Don't you love the poem? I saw it and I knew I had to put it in here. If you don't get it and want a full analysis of what I chose it for Danny, just tell me in the review and I'll explain it to you. REVIEW!!!! Merci. Gracias. Grazi. XieXie. Danke. :)**

**Oooh we're getting closer!**

**-starrytwilightgirl**


	35. Chapter 35 Realization

"_I think that possibly  
Maybe I've fallen for you  
Yes, there's a chance  
That I've fallen quite hard over you_

I've seen the waters that make your eyes shine  
Now I'm shining too-

_Because, oh because  
I've fallen quite hard over you_

If I didn't know you, I'd rather not know  
If I couldn't have you, I'd rather be alone"

"Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop"  
-Landon Pigg

DPOV

This was it. It was the day. I looked outside at the sparkling sunrise and let my thoughts wander. Inevitably, as I knew they would, my thoughts wandered to Bella, and the wedding that should have taken place. I rested my chin on the windowsill and didn't even try to think about anything else. I was too tired from trying to figure out exactly what it was that Edward meant. His actions kept getting more and more erratic every day. One minute, I couldn't get rid of him and the next, he wouldn't even look at me. I sighed and closed my eyes, letting the pain of Bella's memory surround me.

"You should be here today, Bella," I whispered. A car door slammed and my eyes popped open. I stared down into the courtyard to see a group of people… no, a group of vampires… that I had never seen before. _They must be here for the wedding, _I thought. Alice hadn't shown me her guest list. There was a light knock on the door. I spun around.

"Yes?" I called. I already knew who it was.

"It's Edward. There's some people for you to meet downstairs."

"People?" I asked.

"More or less," he laughed. I walked over and opened the door, planning to go right out, but stopped in my tracks, distracted by the living perfection that towered over me. I gulped and stared. Edward had a slight smile on his face and cocked his head at me, bemused.

"Hello?" he asked, waving his hand in front of my face, "Earth to Danny!"

I jumped a little and ducked my head in mortification, "Sorry." I hurried down the stairs before I could get distracted again. Even without looking, I knew he was right behind me, not missing a beat. I got to the bottom of the stairs and stopped, looking around at all the strange vampires. Carlisle looked up at me.

"Ah, there she is," he said warmly, holding his hands out to me. I immediately went to his side. I could feel seven pairs of inquisitive eyes on me. Carlisle turned to the group that crowded around the sofa.

"Everyone, this is Danny Rory. She's Bella's cousin."

"Hello, Danny," a chorus of voices chimed at me. I nodded shyly towards everyone and said my hello's and how-do-you-do's.

"I heard about that…" a large woman murmured compassionately, "We're extremely sorry for your loss." My heart throbbed a little at the mention of Bella's death.

"Thanks," I whispered.

Carlisle squeezed my shoulder in comfort and I smiled at him gratefully.

"Danny, this is Peter, Charlotte, Charles, Makenna, Siobhan, Liam, and Maggie." They each nodded to me in turn and I barely suppressed a shudder as I noticed that all of them had a reddish tint to their eyes. _Well, to each their own,_ I thought. I knew there were others who did not live as the Cullens did. I'd just never met one before. Besides, these were friends of the Cullens'.

"So this is Bella's cousin…" Liam mused, a confused look in his eyes.

"Yes," Carlisle answered.

"Then, why…?" Liam trailed off. I knew what he was asking. Why was I here when Bella wasn't? Why was _I_ a vampire now? _Well, that was Edward's question to answer_, I thought, looking pointedly at the person in question. He casually looked away, pretending not to know what was being discussed, although I knew perfectly well he did.

"That's a personal issue and I don't think we, I don't think Danny is ready to discuss that now," Carlisle said politely, but firmly, looking down at me. I slightly shook my head and gave him a thankful look. What had happened to lead to this was not something I wanted to review. The guests nodded and although some still looked curious, they seemed to have dropped the subject. The conversation soon drew to other topics, mostly the Cullens and the others catching up on news. I didn't talk much, just leaned against the wall watching the others have their conversations. Occasionally, I caught Edward looking at me, but every time I looked over, he only smiled his cryptic little smile and looked away. Finally, after five more times of this, I gave an exasperated sigh and walked over to where he was standing.

"What?" I asked. He raised an eyebrow.

"What do you mean, what?" he answered back.

I glared, "You know what I mean. Stop equivocating. You keep looking over. Is there something you want to tell me…?"

He laughed, the sound coming from deep in his throat, "Oh, you have no idea."

"So?"

"So?"

"Tell me!" I pressed.

His smile became even more indecipherable, "I've already told you."

"No you haven't!" I protested.

"Yes, I have. I told you that I'd tell you when you tell me about Jacob," he said. His voice was still light, but I knew that he was dead serious. He wasn't going to tell me.

I huffed, "Well, fine. But you _want_ to tell me?"

He nodded.

I thought about it for a moment, "How much?"

He stepped closer and my eyes widened at the decreasing gap between us. I stumbled back a few steps until I softly thumped against the wall.

His eyes seemed to pin me to where I stood as he answered me, whispering in my ear, "Very _very _much." I gulped and took a few, subtle (at least I hoped), deep breaths to regroup my mental faculties.

"Well, then," I finally said, "Maybe you want to tell me more than I want to know."

"But before I tell you, I'd rather like to know how much you want to know, and if how much you want to know really does outweigh how much I want to tell you, although I doubt that it does," Edward said. My head spun.

"Regardless," Edward continued, stepping back a few steps, "I can wait for a long, long time."

I pouted, "Well, fine. Maybe I _don't_ want to know. Maybe I don't care about what it is you want to tell me."

Edward smiled, "We'll see." And that was that. With a huff of exasperation, I marched back over to the spot where I was previously standing and moped over what he might possibly want to tell me.

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I looked into the mirror, my chin resting on Alice's shoulder and my mouth curving up in an admiring smile.

"You look beautiful, Alice," I commented. It was true. The dress was absolutely beautiful on the hanger, but on her, it was even better. Alice was a vision in white lace and tulle, her dress flowing down gracefully to come to a perfectly circular pool around her feet, making her look like an angel in a pool of light. It was an old-fashion-y type of dress, but timeless. **(A/N: *****Picture now on profile.*)**

"Thank you," Alice whispered. I looked at her. There was a troubled look in her eyes. I wondered what was wrong. I hoped it wasn't the dress. I didn't know if we had time to go look for another one. The ceremony was in half an hour! I doubted even the amazing Alice could find a better wedding dress that quickly.

"Really, Alice," I hastened to reassure her, "You look like Snow White!"

"She's right, Alice," Rosalie commented, "the dress is killer on you. I'm jealous! I want to make like an ugly stepsister and rip it all up… although I suppose that Jasper will do that for me later." We all laughed at her raunchy jibe.

"Oh, Rosalie, you could never be an ugly stepsister. Besides, that's Cinderella, not Snow White," I said, my know-it-all side kicking in. Rosalie rolled her eyes in a whatever fashion. But still, Alice's face looked troubled. She turned around and faced me, scrutinizing my face.

"What?" I said.

"Hmmm…" she mused. She turned to look at Rosalie. Rosalie sighed and looked at her nails.

"I don't know, Alice. You can tell her if you want to. _I_ think it's unnecessary. Why pull back painful memories?" Rosalie said.

"What? Tell me what?" I asked again. I couldn't believe it. No one was telling me anything. First Edward, now Alice. What, was there something going around in the air or something?

"I don't know, Rosalie," Alice answered, totally ignoring me, "I wouldn't feel right if I didn't tell her. I think she has a right to know."

"Like I said," Rosalie replied, "you're the bride. It's your choice."

Alice turned back to me, and I started getting nervous. Painful memories? What was she talking about?

"Alice?" I asked nervously, "What?"

"Danny," Alice's eyes were sad now, "this dress…"

I almost dropped in relief and exasperation. So it _was_ about the dress! But that still didn't explain the painful memories part… unless Alice had a painful time picking it out. "I told you Alice. And Rosalie agrees. You look drop-dead beautiful. Jasper won't be able to take his eyes off you."

"No, that's not what I meant," Alice said, her eyes still said. If I didn't know that she couldn't cry, I would have sworn that there were tears about to spill.

"Alice," I said, taking her hand "Why are you sad?"

"This dress, Danny, was the one that Bella was supposed to wear to her wedding," Alice finished.

I dropped her hand in shock. I hadn't been expecting _that_. I had never actually _seen_ Bella's dress. Alice had kept it a secret from everyone.

"Oh," was all I could think to say. The locket around my neck seemed to weigh down even heavier.

"I'm sorry, but I'd thought that it would be a fitting tribute…" Alice explained, "a kind of remembrance…"

I stopped her, swallowing the lump in my throat, "No, no. I understand. Really. If Bella couldn't wear, I'm glad that someone is."

Alice scrutinized my face again to examine the truth of my statement and seeming to be satisfied with what she found, hugged me, "Thank you, Danny."

"No problem," I replied, then thought of something, "Does Edward know?"

"Yes."

"And he's okay with it?"

"Yes. In fact, he said the same thing that you did. That he'd rather have _someone_ wear it than have it eaten up by moths in the back of the closet."

I nodded. That was all I needed to know. Suddenly, Alice gasped in horror and I jumped about a foot off the ground.

"What?" I asked wildly, "what's wrong now?"

"You! You're not dressed! You're still wearing… what is that?... your boxer shorts and t-shirt!" she exclaimed, "Where is your dress?"

I rolled my eyes. Oh, that dress. The pale pink monstrosity that was supposed to be my bridesmaid dress.

"Relax, Alice," I said, "We've got a whole half-hour left! I'm a fast dresser anyways. I bet I could get dressed in thirty seconds flat."

"Well, let's not do that," Alice said, "Rosalie's already dressed, so you hurry up and do the same! Thank god we already fixed your hair!" And she practically pushed me out the door. I sighed and trudged up to my room, carefully shut the door, and turned to face the dress that was hanging in the closet. Oh lord… Finally, after about five minutes, I walked over, slipped it off the hanger, and pulled it on. I zipped up the back and looked at myself in the mirror. At first, I was worried about the pink and my red hair, but it surprisingly worked. Or I guess…not so surprisingly, since Alice had the knack of making everything work. It was the palest pink imaginable and had silken straps that tied at the neck and hung down my bare back. The dress was a poof of tulle, cascading down in tiered ruffles like a waterfall at sunset. **(A/N: think of Nicole Kidman's pink dress from that Chanel commercial, pic on my profile) **I supposed it didn't look too bad on me, but big and ruffled just wasn't something I particularly fancied.

I turned away from the mirror and went to put on my shoes, which were outrageous four and a half inch stilettos. **(A/N: *****Picture now on profile.*) **I suppose this was what I got for handing over the fashion reins to Alice. I resignedly put on one shoe and then stopped and looked around. Where was the other one…? I checked in my closet and around the room, picking up random articles of clothing to see if they were under there. I heard a slight ruckus outside and some swearing that sounded like Emmett, but I ignored it. I had more important things to worry about… like finding that other shoe… Finally, I decided to look under my bed. But rather than risking wrinkling the dress and having to face Alice's wrath, I laid down on my stomach on the bed and hung down to peer under the bed skirt. Nope, nothing there…

A sudden knock on the door surprised me and with a little scream, I accidentally slid off the bed, landed on my head, and rolled forward.

"Danny?" a familiarly alarmed voice sounded. I heard the door open and footsteps. Of course, I couldn't see anything due to all the stupid ruffles that had flipped over my head and was obstructing my view.

"Under here," I said needlessly, since he was already there and digging me out of all the pink tulle. Finally, he peeled back the last layer of ruffles and I saw his face, twitching with humor as he saw my predicament.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said, blowing back a strand of hair that had fallen into my face, "I'm fine. I'm going to kill Alice for making me wear this dress."

Edward laughed, "Well you know Alice…"

"I'm just wondering though," I mused, "How come you always find me like this?"

"Like what?"

"Like a mess. Just fallen down from something or somewhere."

"Well, I'm just glad to be here and check that you're not hurt."

I clanged my fists together, making a sound like two metal objects smashing the other, "Does this sound like it could get hurt?"

Edward lent a hand to me, "You never know." I grabbed his hand and he pulled me up.

"Oof," I said, as I lost my balance due to my one shoe and thumped against his chest. Edward automatically raised a hand to steady me.

"Thanks," I said, trying to ignore the feelings that his touch was sending me.

"No problem. What were you doing anyway?" he asked curiously.

"I was looking for my other shoe. I can't seem to find it anywhere," I explained, looking around once again for that stupid shoe that I didn't even want to wear.

"You mean," Edward said, "this shoe." It was just then that I noticed the nude colored shoe in his hand. Yup, that was it.

"Thank you," I said, "Where'd you find it?"

"Emmett," was Edward's answer, "he thought he'd be smart and hide it from you. I caught him sneaking away from the house with it in his hand." The racket and swearing I'd heard just minutes before came back to me just as I noticed a few stray crystals of snow on Edward's tuxedo.

"Did you tackle him for it or something?" I asked.

"You could say that," Edward admitted.

I laughed, "That little booger. Well, I hope you tackled him good then." I sat down on the bed and held out my hand for the shoe, so I could put it on, but he didn't give it to me. I raised an eyebrow at him. Suddenly, with a motion so swift that I almost missed it, Edward knelt down and slipped the shoe onto my foot. My breathing hitched as his jewel-like eyes looked up at me.

"Perfect fit," he said. I suddenly found it hard to breathe.

"Well, Alice was the one who bought it…" I choked out. Edward broke out into a brilliant smile and offered a hand to me.

"Come on," he said, "if we're even an iota of a second late, Alice will probably rip our guts out." I took his hand and got up calmly (albeit shakily) from my bed.

"DANNY ARE YOU CHANGED YET?!?!?!" Alice screamed. The walls shook around us.

"I'll be there soon, Alice," I called normally, and then turned to Edward, "Well, I gotta go."

Edward let go of my hand, and I found myself missing the feel of it around mine, and said, "Of course. I'll see you at the altar…"

My breathing, which had just resumed, skipped a beat and I muttered, "Yeah, at the altar," before I hurriedly left the room.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was completely dark except for a few stray candles and the fairy lights around the tent poles. I was alone under the huge white gazebo tent that Alice had set up. Alice and Jasper had already left to God-knows-where for their honeymoon and the others were already at home. I was scrubbing down the little round tables that were littered around the central dance floor before I put them up. The chairs were already stacked neatly in the corners.

Esme had insisted that this wasn't something I was expected to do, but I wanted to stay behind and clean. It gave me something else to do besides brood about the wedding, and Bella, and Edward, and his seeming lack of any other response besides happiness at seeing Alice in that wedding dress while I could barely keep my emotions locked up about what could and should have been.

I scrubbed the poor little table furiously. What did it all mean? Was Edward _over_ Bella? That couldn't possibly be it could it? A certain conversation came back to me, drifting in like a cool summer breeze. _"__I love Edward, Danny, there's no doubt about that, but it seems as if I'm moving farther away from him."_ I shivered. Why was there a part of me that was feeling elated about the whole thing? I had to stop thinking about this.

The music from the stereo was still playing, albeit more softly now. I tried to lose myself in it, matching my circular strokes on the table to the rhythm of the music. Soon, before I knew it, I was dancing, letting the music fill my head and chase away the disturbing thoughts. I danced from table to table, finished wiping them off and prepared to put them up. The song ended and the next song begun. The beat slowed down and sounds of piano filled the air. I sighed. A slow song… no point in dancing to that… I picked up the small table and prepared to put it up.

"Keep on dancing," a voice came out of the dark. I jumped and dropped the table, which would have crashed to the ground had not Edward caught it by one of the legs in the nick of time. I crossed my arms.

"You've really got to stop doing that, you know," I said peevishly.

"Sorry," he said, and set the table back down. We stood there for a moment, I looking down at my feet awkwardly, wondering why he was there, and was just about to turn away when he spoke up.

"Would you like to dance?"

"What?" I asked, surprised by the random question.

"Would you like to dance?" he repeated.

"I have to put these up," I mumbled. Dancing with Edward was a recipe for disaster if I wanted to keep my sanity.

Edward looked around the gazebo, "Well, you don't have to. We can take care of those tomorrow. Dance with me."

"I'm not a very good dancer," I said, turning to the table again.

"You were a few moments ago," Edward countered. If I was human, I would have blushed.

"That doesn't count. No one was around," I said defensively, "Besides, who said you could spy on me?"

Edward ignored my question, "No one's around now."

"Except you."

"You can't dance this song by yourself."

Dammit. It was a slow song.

"Come on," Edward coaxed looking straight into my eyes, "take a break. You're not Cinderella." I could feel my brain unraveling inside. His outstretched hand waited for mine.

He was like a snake charmer, irresistibly convincing, so I could hardly believe what I was saying when I agreed, "Well, alright. But I'm warning you, I'm not the best dance partner in the world."

He broke into a smile, "You'll do fine."

Another song started and he led me out to the center of the floor. I stood there awkwardly with my hands hanging by my sides, unsure of what I was supposed to do. Edward sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Up here, Danny," and he took my hand and placed it on his shoulder, keeping the other hand in his own. I gulped. I couldn't feel my legs. I wasn't even sure if I could get them to move.

"Now just follow me," Edward whispered, his cool breath stunning me.

"_I bruise you  
You bruise me  
We both bruise so easily  
Too easily to let it show  
I love you, and that's all I know"_

He moved forward and I moved back. He moved back and I moved forward. But it wasn't long before my shoe caught on the edge of my dress and I tripped. Edward caught me in his arms and steadied me. I was done. That fall took the last of my confidence.

"Nuh-uh," I said, "I can't do this." I turned to leave, but Edward still had hold of my hand and pulled me back.

"You'll be fine, Danny. Close your eyes," he said. I looked at him doubtfully before doing so.

"Good, now just relax. Breathe," Edward whispered, "and follow my steps. I felt him moving again under my arms and I followed him. This time, I didn't trip. Somehow, my feet knew where to go, and they followed Edward's steps easily, as if my feet were tied to his. I opened my eyes in amazement to see Edward smiling at me.

"You see?" he said. I could only look at him.

"_And all my plans  
keep falling through  
All my plans they  
Depend on you  
Depend on you  
To help them grow  
I love you  
And that's all I know"_

We circled around the floor and at one point he spun me around under his arm, picked me up and twirled me until the fairy lights around the gazebo became a blur.

"_When the singer's gone  
Let the song go on  
It's a fine line between  
The darkness and the dawn"_

Edward brought me back down and both of us laughing, went on dancing normally again. As our laughing subsided, the lyrics of the song finally penetrated my consciousness.

"_They say in the darkest night  
There's a light beyond  
And the ending always  
Comes at last  
Endings always  
Come too fast  
They come too fast  
And they pass too slow"_

I grew silent as I contemplated that. Endings… how many endings have I experienced? The ending of a life, the ending of a relationship… I kept listening and was surprised to hear Edward's voice joining in the song, pouring out into the cold winter night like drops of honey.

"They come too fast and they pass too slow," he murmured into my ear, "I love you and that's all, its really all I know." I stared into his eyes and he looked back at me. I was shocked as I identified the look in his eyes. I was even more shocked to realize that it had been there for a while. Was that what he was trying to tell me?

"Its all I know," Edward sang, his voice dropping to a whisper as the song came to an end and we slowed down, "Its all I know." We stopped and stood there for a minute, just looking at each other. Me in utter amazement and he with the same glorious expression on his angel's face. His face moved closer to mine… closer and closer and closer, until I could see every dark lash on his eyelid, until I could taste his breath on my tongue, until I could see every facet of his flawless diamond skin. We were so close. His lips were less than a centimeter from mine. I couldn't think about anything else besides what was going to happen next…

A sudden crash caused Edward and I to jump apart and look around wildly. My eyes finally focused on Tanya, holding up the falling stack of chairs and staring at us sheepishly.

"Sorry," she mumbled. Edward sighed and ran his hand through his hair. He turned back to me, looking like he was about to say something, but I cut through.

"I'm sorry, Edward, I have to go," I said quickly before I lost my mind again, picked up the layers of tulle that was my skirt, and rushed away. It had been too close. Kissing Edward right now would have been a mistake and I wasn't about to risk that again.

I ran into my room and closed the door, leaning against it to make sure no one else was getting in, and sank down to the floor, not caring if I rumpled my dress and confused as hell about what had just happened.

**We're one chapter closer… Danny **_**thinks**_** she knows now, but she has to make sure. That's what's coming up. But not all is what it seems… The title of the next chapter is The Shit Hits the Fan, so you KNOW it's going to be juicy. Trust me, the next two or three chapters is gonna be a roller-coaster ride. Have fun!!! And don't forget to reeeeview! Thank you!**

**Love always,**

**starrytwilightgirl**

***by the way, the song Danny and Edward dance to is "All I Know" by Five for Fighting. I don't own it in any way, shape, or form. All I own is I, myself, and my imagination. :)**


	36. Chapter 36 The Shit Hits the Fan

_Did you regret ever standing by my side?  
Did you forget we were feeling inside?  
Now I'm left to forget about us_

…_We had it all, we were just about to fall  
Even more in love, than we were before  
I won't forget, I won't forget about us_

"Don't Forget"

-Demi Lovato

DPOV

I lounged around in my room, head still reeling from the night before. I'd been there for the whole day now and by the grace of some higher power, everyone in the house had pretty much left me alone. I was staring at a blank computer screen, trying to come up with the words for a report I was supposed to be working on, but nothing was coming up. Damn Edward…

Was he interested in me, as more than a friend, as more than the best friend of the girl he was going to marry? Was it possible, that he could even… _love_ me? I shook my head. I couldn't see that. Yet, that look in his eyes last night when we danced. I'd seen it in the faces of so many others. In the face of Jasper as he watched Alice walking down the aisle, in the face of Nick as he regarded the old painting he always kept in his bedside drawer, in the faces of Carlisle and Esme, and Rosalie and Emmett when they glanced at each other thinking no one was looking, in the face of Bella and Edward, long long ago… the last thought sobered me. What did this mean? That Edward didn't love Bella anymore? It was my impression that once a vampire found his or her mate, it was for ever. Yet, that look…

I felt like my head was about to burst. What was I going to do? Suspecting what I did now, there was no way I was going to be able to be around him at all… It was another week before I had to go back to the east coast, and I couldn't possibly avoid Edward for seven days. It was physically impossible, almost. He and I always seemed to be mashed together, like all of our clothes were adorned with opposite poles of a magnet. What was I going to do?

I ran through my options for the thousandth time. Well, I could always ignore it, and go on with life as before. But then there was the problem of avoiding him for seven days. And also, I'd be homeless, I'd never get any work done for distraction of wondering if the look in his eyes was true or if I was just imagining it. I could leave earlier, which would take away the problem of trying to avoid him, but not the problem of distraction. No, I could not spend every day like this. I would go crazy. I could always take a peek into his mind and see the truth for myself, but that was a reprehensible violation of trust. And besides, if I used his gift and looked into his mind, my mind would be open to him as well, and every single skeleton in my closet would be out on parade. That was definitely not something that I wanted.

There was only one option left and I shuddered to consider it. I could always ask him the truth, and in return, tell him my feelings as well. I scowled. And then what? Could I handle the pain of rejection? What's more, the pain of rejection, which was a bitter medicine that I had tasted before, wasn't as terrifying as the humiliation of being wrong. If I was wrong, what would he think? He would think me presumptuous at best and immoral at worst, for desiring the former fiancé of my dead best friend. And even if my suspicions were confirmed, what then? How would this relationship ever work? And was it even right? The dead bride's maid of honor and the groom? It sounded like the premise of a bad porn flick. I burrowed the heels of my hand into the sockets of my eyes, wishing that I could just burrow down into oblivion and cease to exist.

When I reopened them, I saw in the flickering light of the setting sun, the black leather bound book of poetry that Edward had given me for Christmas. Instinctively, I picked it up, desperate for some type of distraction. I opened to the very first page, trying futilely to ignore the puff of his scent that temptingly hovered around my face, and read the poem there, letting the words sink into my mind.

"_The Children of the Night"_

_For those that never know the light,  
The darkness is a sullen thing;  
And they, the Children of the Night,  
Seem lost in Fortune's winnowing.__story__. House and home  
Are shut from countless hearts that seek  
World-refuge that will never come.__sleep__,  
No God but in a prophet's lie,  
No faith for "honest doubt" to keep;__scar__!  
Let us be Children of the Light,  
And tell the ages what we are! _

_But some are strong and some are weak, --  
And there's the_

_And if there be no other life,  
And if there be no other chance  
To weigh their sorrow and their strife  
Than in the scales of circumstance,_

_'T were better, ere the sun go down  
Upon the first day we embark,  
In life's imbittered sea to drown,  
Than sail forever in the dark._

_But if there be a soul on earth  
So blinded with its own misuse  
Of man's revealed, incessant worth,  
Or worn with anguish, that it views_

_No light but for a mortal eye,  
No rest but of a mortal_

_If there be nothing, good or bad,  
But chaos for a soul to trust, --  
God counts it for a soul gone mad,  
And if God be God, He is just._

_And if God be God, He is Love;  
And though the Dawn be still so dim,  
It shows us we have played enough  
With creeds that make a fiend of Him._

_There is one creed, and only one,  
That glorifies God's excellence;  
So cherish, that His will be done,  
The common creed of common sense._

_It is the crimson, not the gray,  
That charms the twilight of all time;  
It is the promise of the day  
That makes the starry sky sublime;_

_It is the faith within the fear  
That holds us to the life we curse; --  
So let us in ourselves revere  
The Self which is the Universe!_

_Let us, the Children of the Night,  
Put off the cloak that hides the_

There were three stanzas that caught my eye and I repeated them in a whisper.

"And if there be no other life,/ And if there be no other chance/ To weigh their sorrow and their strife/ Than in the scales of circumstance,/ 'T were better, ere the sun go down/ Upon the first day we embark,/ In life's imbittered sea to drown,/ Than sail forever in the dark," I read aloud, "Let us, the Children of the Night,/ Put off the cloak that hides the scar!/ Let us be Children of the Light,/ And tell the ages what we are!"

I stared at the old, maddeningly fragrant pages for a moment longer before closing it determinately with a snap. My mind was made up. I had to know and I had to inform him of my feelings, if only to let him know to not get so close to me in the future. It was only fair. I threw off the blankets that I had covered myself up with in my misery and I jumped out of bed. I already knew he wasn't in his room. There was no sound coming from it and I couldn't feel his presence there. He wasn't in the house at all either. I strode to Carlisle's makeshift study and knocked on the door with quick, nervous raps.

"Come in, Danny," Carlisle answered, sounding as if he were already expecting me. I was barely thinking when I barged in.

"Where's Edward?" I asked bluntly, skipping right to the point, too focused on my one goal to remember the usual niceties of conversation.

"He went out for a walk," Carlisle replied, not looking the least bit surprised by my curtness and probably wild-looking appearance.

"Thanks," I said over my shoulder as I strode out the room, not bothering to close the door again.

"It's my pleasure," Carlisle called after me, "Good luck!" I wasn't paying enough attention to be suspicious over his strange last remark. I plowed through the four foot snow like a steam shovel, desperately searching for his scent. He had obviously gone out a while ago or I would have found some sort of marks in the snow. The three seconds that it took me to catch the trail of his scent seemed like lifetimes to me and I sighed in relief as I got on the trail, racing to where he was, breathing getting more uneven as his scent grew stronger.

Finally, I saw him right as I reached the edge of a clearing. My soul soared when I caught sight of him. Bathed in the light of the setting sun, he looked even more glorious and I longed to shout out his name and run to him. But the sound died in my throat as my eyes looked further, beyond the object of my focus, and realized that there were not one, but two, people in the clearing. Edward was not alone…

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

EPOV

I walked through the snow, scuffing my shoes and kicking up sprays of snow in morose meditation. My thoughts went back, for the millionth time, to the night before. The feel of her in my arms, the smell of morning dew coming in waves off of her skin and her hair, her trusting but puzzled eyes, brilliantly and breath-takingly green, greener than a summer field, and as they looked at me towards the end, the sudden realization in them, and the acceptance in them as they came closer, so close that I could see every strand of color in them… We had been so close… and then Tanya had come and interrupted. I scowled.

I knew it was an accident, so I wasn't terribly upset with her. In fact, I wasn't even sure if I was relieved that she had interrupted or irritated. I wasn't really even thinking at that moment in time. The only thing I knew was that I loved the woman, no... the being, no… the angel, in my arms and that all I wanted to do in that moment of time was kiss her and demonstrate to her just home much I really did love her and need her. For I did need her. This trip spoiled me, and I couldn't bear the thought of her going back to the east coast in a week. I laughed hollowly. So much for my self-control…

I hadn't even thought about what might have happened after the kiss. Would she have felt repulsed? Frightened? Violated? I would never know for sure until I knew exactly why she was still so hung up on Jacob. My scowl turned into a full-fledged snarl. That over-eager pup! Why did he have to go and ruin everything? But my snarl died out as I thought about it further. If it hadn't been for Jacob… would Danny be here with me now? If it hadn't been on pain of death, would I have ever changed her? I knew the answer to that was no. So what would have happened? She would have gone back to the east coast and I would have never seen her again? I contemplated what that would have been like and shuddered. I already knew that it would have been horrible. All I could have done was think about her for the rest of her life, and when that life was ended, find the nearest volcano to fling myself into.

So… was I glad… that…? But I quickly and furiously nixed that idea from my mind. That was preposterous! I couldn't possibly think that, I wouldn't allow myself to. A sudden wave of self-loathing ripped through me and my moping deepened. How could she ever love a monster like me? I, in my weakness, changed her and damned her to a life of eternal night and hell.

I sulked. I knew direct from Carlisle that she was still in her room. After the look in her eyes as she fled last night, I didn't think she would want to see me anytime soon, so I left the house and made myself scarce, relying on Carlisle to keep tabs on her for me. So far, she was still in there.

I smacked a fist into my forehead. How could I be so forward and thoughtless? Of course she wouldn't take it well. I was more or less coming on to her, more than invading her personal space. And after Jacob, I could see how she wouldn't take it well. How much more of a moron could I be? And yet, that _look _in her eyes as I leaned in, I couldn't possibly have mistaken that look in her eyes, could I? I groaned out loud. That girl was a constant contradiction. She was going to be the death of me.

I walked around the house, circling out wider and wider until I was more than fifty miles away from it. The sun climbed ever higher and higher into the sky, and then started sinking, lower and lower, matching the descent of my hopefulness that Danny would emerge. I mentally checked back with Carlisle again, but she was still in her room. I sighed. I had really done it this time.

I arrived at a clearing and looked around, deciding that I had gone far enough. I lay down, spread-eagled, in the snow, and watched the sun set, but received no joy from the once beautiful sight. That was because I was now familiar with another fiery redhead that was even more beautiful and at present, she was doing her best to avoid me. A rustling at the edge of the clearing alerted me and I glanced toward the source of the sound. It was Tanya and she was peering apologetically at me.

"Hello, Edward," she said cautiously, striding forward to meet me. I stood up.

"Good evening, Tanya," I answered back politely. There was a moment of silence as she stood and watched the sun going down with me. I noticed her fidgeting. She was nervous.

"Listen," she finally started, "I'm really sorry about last night. I didn't know…"

That's what she was nervous about?

I laughed lightly and said, "Don't worry about it, Tanya. In fact, I'm rather glad that you interrupted me. I was being inexcusably, boorishly forward. I'm afraid I overwhelmed the poor girl." I ruffled her immaculately straight, strawberry blonde hair for good measure, because I knew she hated it when anyone messed up her perfect hair. She laughed and ducked out of my reach, smacking me on the arm.

"Stop it!" she said between chuckles. I did. She tried to straighten her hair to no avail.

As she was trying to straighten out the strands, she commented in what seemed like a light tone, but which belied her meaningful looks, "If you'd seen the girl though, Edward. Well… it looked like to me that she rather _wanted _you to kiss her."

I looked at her, surprised, "You think so?"

Tanya finally gave up on her hair, "I know so."

I thought about it doubtfully, "But did you see the look on her face when she ran?"

Tanya shrugged, "The poor girl was dazed and confused. You have that effect on people."

I sighed, "I don't know, Tanya. I suspect it may be more complicated than that."

Tanya looked at me sternly, "Trust me, Edward. A woman knows these things. She really _wanted_ you to kiss her."

I decided I'd process that later, because I sensed something else looming in the crevices of Tanya's mind. She wasn't just here to apologize about last night.

"What else did you come here for, Tanya?" I asked her. Her face turned troubled and the issue came to the front stage of her mind. I saw the problem and exactly why she had come to me.

"Ah…" I said.

"You see the problem. I've already sent Irina away with Kate, but I don't think that's enough."

I nodded. The gist of it was that Irina had met a blood singer, and Kate and Tanya had to drag her away to keep her from killing the luckless man.

"And you've had experience with this, well, quite a lot of it, it seems, so that's why I'm here for advice," Tanya continued, "We don't know what to do. Irina is safe from doing anything she'll later regret for now. But we know she has urges to come back. It doesn't help that the fellow's pretty attractive as well, in other ways besides smell and we're all succubae anyway, so that doesn't make it any easier."

I thought over the whole situation again.

"So, what would you suggest? What did you do with Bella? And Danny?" Tanya asked. I stiffened in reflex at the mention of Danny and Bella. I forced myself to relax a second later, but Tanya didn't neglect to notice. She quickly backtracked.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't think… Are you comfortable… talking about them?" she asked anxiously.

"No, no, it's fine," I said.

Tanya relaxed and continued, "So what _did_ you do?"

I sighed and turned around to face her, "Listen Tanya. The best thing to do is to keep Irina away from him. It'll spare her and whoever the man is a lot of heartache."

Tanya frowned, "Isn't that a little hypocritical though, considering…?"

"That was different…" I countered.

"She thinks she's in love with him. Hasn't shut up about him since," Tanya interrupted.

"She _thinks_…?" I asked.

"She is," Tanya countered firmly.

"Oh," I said, "Well then… that's her decision to make. You know my opinion on it."

"But Bella, and Danny…" Tanya started.

"Yes, I know about Danny and Bella!" I snapped. Tanya looked like she'd just been slapped and I felt bad. I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to control my temper. The whole morning of worrying about Danny had worn me out and my fuse was getting short.

"I'm sorry," I apologized, "that was rude."

"No, no," Tanya murmured, "It was my fault. I crossed the line."

"No, you didn't. I was just being perverse," I said, waving it off, "Anyways, the main thing is to make sure that she doesn't kill him. I think if Irina can handle that, she'll be good."

Tanya smiled at me, "Thanks, Edward."

"It's my pleasure," I answered.

"I'm just kind of worried about her. I know all of the things that you went through, and I don't want that to happen to her," Tanya whispered, "Also…"

"What?"

"I don't know. What if it happens to me? I don't know if I have enough self-control for that," Tanya said. I looked at her and I could see the fear and anxiety written all over her face.

"When or if the time comes," I said, "I'm sure you'll be fine."

"I hope so," she said, "I remember feeling out of control. I don't want it ever to happen again."

DPOV

I looked at the scene unfolding in front of me, confused. It was Tanya that was standing there. Words drifted toward me. The wind was blowing my way, so that I caught their words, but they had no idea that I was there.

"I don't want it ever to happen again," Tanya said firmly, resolutely.

"I don't think it ever will," Edward replied, with the same resolution in his voice. Tanya smiled and hugged him, whispering a thank you. My chest felt constricted as if a boa constrictor was wrapped around it and was squeezing with all its might. I scrutinized the scene again. The back of Edward's coat was coated with a fine layer of snow and Tanya's usually perfect hair was all mussed. I shook my head, but the image was still there in front of my eyes. I longed to escape, but I found myself unable to move. No… it couldn't be…!

Suddenly, Tanya looked up and caught my eye and her mouth dropped open in surprise.

EPOV

I hugged Tanya, patting her on the back to reassure her, but all the while thinking of Danny, wishing that it was her in my arms instead, that it was her scent I was breathing in. Tanya had a nice scent… she smelled exotic, like ginger and spices, but it was nothing compared to Danny's fresh, natural scent.

Suddenly, Tanya stiffened in my arms. She tapped my shoulder and it was an anxious urgent tap. I pulled back to look at her, alarmed. Her mouth was open in shock.

"What?" I asked, confused. Dumbly, she pointed behind me and I turned around to see Danny standing there, frozen there, staring at Tanya and I.

DPOV

I watched, still rooted, still nailed, to my spot as Tanya mutely tapped Edward's shoulder. He pulled back to look at her.

"What?" he asked. My instincts by now were telling me to _Run, Danny! RUN!_ But I couldn't budge. Tanya, mouth still open, pointed at me and Edward turned around. His golden eyes met mine and it sent of jolt of energy through my body, temporarily releasing the bonds that shackled me to the spot, but long enough for me to bolt. I ran, tearing past trees, not caring about the branches that whapped me in the face, but just ran, determined to get away, so far away that no one would ever find me.

EPOV

My gaze met her emerald green eyes, only to catch a glimpse of her before she was gone, leaving only a whiff of her scent as the wind turned direction. Even only after seeing her for half a millisecond, I saw clearly the hurt in her eyes. I realized with horror what she must have thought.

"Shit!" I cursed and rushed after her.

**Dun dun DUN!!! Okay, I know this chapter was shorter than the others, but it's rather intense, and I think intensity is best in small portions, don't you? What's gonna happen now? Is Edward gonna lose Danny forever? Muahahahahahahaha!!! Review if you want to find out!!!**

**Love,**

**starrytwilightgirl**


	37. Chapter 37 Liar Liar

_We're goin' down  
And you can see it too  
We're goin' down  
And you know that we're doomed  
My dear  
We're slow dancing in a burnin' room_

…_Don't you think we oughta know by now  
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow _

"Slow Dancing in a Burning Room"

-John Mayer

DPOV

I ran and ran and ran, barely looking to see where I was going. I knew he was following me; I could feel it, so much so that I could almost hear his footsteps. But I ran even faster, making sure that there was no way he could catch me. The last thing I wanted right now was to see him.

My breaths came in and out in great big gulping sobs and I struggled to contain them. If I had any, there would have been tears streaming down my face at this point.

How could I have been so stupid? I couldn't believe that I had almost actually told him how I felt about him! I couldn't believe that I had actually thought he liked, maybe even loved, me. Of course it couldn't have been true. Whatever it was I saw on his face that night must have been a trick of the light and my own imagination! Maybe Edward was following me now to explain my mistake to me, but he didn't need to. I had pieced together the situation in my mind and it all made sense now.

Tanya was the holder of Edward's affections, not I. That much was clear. Everything else had all been in my stupid, presumptive, way-too-imaginative, head. Last night, Edward probably just felt bad that I was the only one cleaning up and offered me a dance, just to be nice. And at the end, I'd come on to him. He probably wasn't thinking about kissing me at all. It was all, thankfully, interrupted when Tanya came on the scene, obviously looking for Edward. I shuddered to think of the embarrassment that might have ensued had our lips actually touched.

And then, this evening, Tanya was probably upset about the close call and Edward went out looking for her. He'd probably apologized and they'd probably made up. My mind flashed back to the snow on the back of Edward's coat and Tanya's messed up hair. I felt a wave of nausea come upon me as unwanted images forced themselves into my mind. Edward kissing Tanya in the snow… promising her that the dance with me was nothing… Tanya, like any other sane woman, accepting his apology… I tried to push the imaginations away. And then, as I had heard, she'd demanded that it never happen again. Edward's answer reverberated inside my skull… _"I don't think it ever will."_ I shuddered violently as another sob ripped through my body. And then, he hugged her and she saw me, no doubt surprised that after my wantonly behavior last night, I even dared show my face.

Of course… there couldn't have been any other explanation. _Danny, you dumb ass_… I cursed myself for being so blind. How could I think that Edward could ever love me? I was a murderer, an intruder, a thief. I'd stolen what should have been Bella's life from her… How could he ever?

The city lights of New York loomed up ahead and I weaved through the dense crowd, hoping I could lose him, although I knew the chances were slim. I eventually reached my apartment. By now, I had succeeded in quelling my crying and had replaced it with an icy determination. I had managed to put at least fifty miles between Edward and I, but I knew he was still following me. I had to be fast. Really fast.

I rushed into my apartment complex and bounded up the stairs, ignoring the elevator. I went so fast, that no one even noticed I was there, except for a slight breeze. I snatched the spare key from under the welcome mat and rushed into the room, grabbing a large bag and throwing all the most important things into it… my books, the picture of my family, some money, my spare laptop. I left most of my clothes behind except for a spare set of t-shirts, jeans, underwear, and socks. I hurriedly scribbled a note to Nick, knowing that he would be worried if I didn't.

Nick,

I had to leave. I'm sorry. Please, don't bother looking for me. I won't be coming back here, but maybe we'll meet up again someday. Take care of yourself.

Love always,

Danny

I stuffed the note in his bedside drawer, next to his painting of Henri. I knew he'd find it there. With that, I slammed the drawer shut again and rushed out the door, locking it and thrusting the key back under the mat. I leaped down the stairs, taking them two at a time, before I stopped and froze on the next landing. I looked down eighteen stories below me to see Edward at the information desk. Damn, he was faster than I thought. I stepped back behind a pole and waited, knowing that it was too risky to move now; he might see me. His voice drifted up eighteen stories to me.

"Surely she must have come in a couple minutes ago," he was demanding of the poor receptionist.

"I-I'm sorry sir," the poor woman was stammering, obviously flustered by the vehemence in his voice and his good looks, "but Ms. Rory isn't due back for another week. She's on vacation, you see… gone to a wedding…"

I peered gingerly around the pole I was hiding in to see if he had given up and left. No such luck. He was still standing there at the desk with an exasperated look on his face. Suddenly, before I could move, he looked up and caught my eye.

"Never mind," he said quickly to the receptionist, "Excuse me." And then, he disappeared. I was immediately on the move.

"Shitshitshitshitshit," I cursed as I raced back up the stairs. There was no point in going down the stairs now, as he was already heading up them, I could hear his footsteps already. I dug the key out of the rug again and in the same motion, stabbed it into the keyhole, went in, and closed the door again, locking it tightly, although I knew that if he really wanted to get in, it wouldn't be much of an obstacle. I looked wildly around the apartment for a means of escape and settled on the balcony. There was a fire escape there, but that was too loud. He would be able to hear every single movement I made. The door knob rattled.

"Danny!"

I raced towards the balcony and leaped out into the night, just as I heard the door slam open with a loud bang. I landed on my feet in the alleyway below, carefully removed my feet from the two potholes I had created, and broke into a sprint. It was only a second before a force slammed me against the wall, causing my eyes to squeeze shut and my breath to rush out of me with a _whoosh_.

I opened my eyes to see a furious looking Edward glaring at me. Not speaking, just caging me in with his arms and body and just looking at me. I glared back at him, determined to be passive and not show even an iota of what I was really feeling inside. I sank back against the wall, the bricks pressing into my body, and crossed my arms.

"What do you _want_, Edward?" I asked coldly, when I had finally regained my breath.

"I just want you to stay still for just a second and listen to me! God, Danny! Did we have to go through that whole chase? I thought I'd lose you!"

"Maybe you did," I retorted coolly, "Besides, it wouldn't have been a chase if you hadn't been chasing me." I was surprised to see a flash of pain and indecision flash through his eyes before he smoothed it out and it was gone.

"Tell me why you went to look for me? What did you want to tell me?" he asked desperately, suggestively. I looked at him in alarm, but quickly smothered it. Remember, cool, calm, and collected, Danny, I reminded myself. But still, I wondered under my mask. Did he know? Heaven forbid…

"I wanted to tell you," I said slowly, thinking of the perfect excuse "that I was leaving. That's it."

"No," Edward said firmly, "You didn't. Tell the truth."

"You don't know that that's not the truth."

"Yes, I do! You're a rotten liar, Danny. You let your guard down for a few seconds when you first bolted and I heard your thoughts. _I heard them_!" He was shouting at me, and that irritated me, so I shouted back.

"And what, sir, did you think you hear?" I screamed back. He face suddenly softened.

"You were about to tell someone you loved them," Edward said, his voice dropping now about twenty decibel levels. My heart dropped. Crap. My brain worked to get myself around this.

"What, did you think I was thinking about you?" I snapped caustically, derisively. He didn't answer.

"Well, maybe I was talking about someone else! Did you ever think of that? Maybe you thought I was thinking about you, but I was actually thinking about someone else! Maybe I was thinking about Nick!" I knew I wasn't talking about what Edward thought he heard anymore, but I didn't care. I was ranting. I was in pain and I had to let some of it out or I might just shatter into a million more pieces than I was already in.

"Nick is gay," Edward calmly said.

"Well maybe he is and maybe he isn't," I shouted, "Besides, why do you care what Nick is to me! You have Tanya, so why don't you go back to her, huh? She's waiting for you. If she catches you with me again, she might not be as quick to forgive you as she was this time."

Edward shook his head, "I thought that was what this was about…"

"Is it? Is it?" I yelled, "Why? Why do you think it is?" I ducked to get under his arms and run. He grabbed my face and held me there, cheeks squooshed between his palms, so that I couldn't move.

"Danny, listen to me!" he commanded. I knocked his hands away but he only pinned down my arms, one hand around each wrist, each wrist on either side of my head. His face was so close to mine... so close... it reminded me of the night before and as it did, it also reminded me of the aftermath and my determination grew.

"Why should I?" I retorted, struggling to get out of his grasp.

"Danny, Irina met her blood singer."

I froze. Whatever I had been expecting, it wasn't that. My struggles stopped.

"What?" I breathed.

"Irina met her blood singer. That was why Tanya came to me. Because she needed help. Because I've had more than enough experience with blood singers," he said wryly.

"Tanya was worried about what might happen if she met her own blood singer. She'd lost control once before but she didn't want to again," Edward continued.

I thought back to the scene I'd witnessed. _"I don't want it to ever happen again,"_ Tanya had said. _"I don't think it ever will_,_" _Edward had replied back.

"So I comforted her by telling her that she wouldn't," Edward finished. I stared at him. My world right now was turning upside down. The next thing someone would be telling me was that two plus two equaled five.

"But, but" I spluttered, "the snow on the back of your coat… and Tanya's hair…"

"What are you talking about, Danny?" Edward asked in consternation. And then, understanding dawned in his eyes.

"Oh no, Danny! It's not like that. I would never… Tanya's like a sister. I had snow on the back of my coat because I was lying down and watching the sun set before Tanya found me, and her hair's messed up because I messed it up just to annoy her," Edward said rapidly, the words tumbling out. I was struck dumb now. Everything I had believed had just been thrown out the window.

"Do you believe me now, Danny?" Edward asked me softly. I closed my mouth, which had been hanging open in shock, with a snap. I gingerly removed my wrists from his grasp and looked at him again, totally calm. My hands now hung limply by my side. I was mentally, spiritually, even physically exhausted.

"Yes, thank you for clearing that up, Edward," I said quietly. I brushed the gravel off my coat and started, stiffly, walking away. I felt myself being yanked back and I looked up at Edward in indignation.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asked in irritation.

"I don't know yet," I said honestly.

"You're coming home with me," he stated. It wasn't a question.

I looked up at him, "No, Edward, I'm not." If this unfortunate episode had done anything, it had convinced me that Edward and I were not meant to be together. It just wasn't meant to be. We had been so close, and then the gods had intervened. It was clearly a signal. I wasn't right for him. I wasn't good for him.

"Why not?"

"Because, Edward. I can't be around you anymore," I said candidly. I really couldn't. It would hurt him. It would hurt me. It surprised me to see the pain that ran across his eyes, and I wanted to kiss it away, but I refrained myself from doing so. That would just make things more complicated. I walked slowly away. I was about to reach the end of the alleyway when…

"Danny, I love you," Edward yelled, fifty feet back. I froze and whipped around to look at him.

"What?" I breathed. He was suddenly right in front of me, cupping my chin so I couldn't do anything but look at him.

"I love you, Danny. That's what I wanted to tell you, all along. But I didn't know how you would take it." He said, the words slipping over each other like water over rocks in a stream. I shook my head.

"That's… not possible…" I murmured. After all this… no, it couldn't be.

"Why not?"

"Because. I'm not the type of person you could love. I'm not right for you. I'm not good for you," I confessed.

"That's bullshit. You are exactly what's right for me. I love you. I need you, more than water, more than air," Edward said, looking at me earnestly. He took both of my hands and held it in his. I gently pulled them away. He was mistaken.

"You don't need water, and you don't need air," I whispered, "You can live without it. Just like you can live without me. You _should_ live without me."

Edward glared fiercely at me, "You know what I mean, Danny."

I shook my head, "No, you're lying."

Edward tilted my chin up, "Look at me, Danny! _Am I lying?_" I did, for a long long time. He wasn't. Not one flicker of mendacity in those smoldering golden eyes.

"No," I finally admitted, "You're not."

His confession had me reeling. Edward waited for me as I thought it over for a few minutes. This was everything I had ever wanted, to spend forever and ever with Edward, and he was basically offering me that right now. But I was still convinced that the whole Tanya episode was a sign. I wasn't right for him. I would hurt him. Badly. Like I did Bella. Like I did Jacob.

"I can't, Edward," was my lame explanation, as I looked down at my toes, "It's just not meant to be."

"Not meant to be?" Edward said, "Danny, no matter what happens, we always end up together… have you noticed that?"

"Yes, I have; It's coincidence," I said stubbornly.

Edward sighed, "'Tis but a part you see, and not a whole."

My head snapped up to look at him as I recognized the line from Alexander Pope; I gasped, "What did you just say?'

Edward smiled ironically at me, "Still think it's not meant to be, smartass18?"

I shook my head in disbelief. Things were truly turning topsy-turvy tonight. It… He… Edward couldn't be toomoodyforwords07, could he? No, he couldn't.

"No," I thought out loud, "toomoodyforwords is supposed to be thirty-seven!"

Edward snorted, "And that means anything? _You're _supposed to be married, thirty-eight, and with two kids. You certainly don't _look_ thirty-eight, I sincerely hope you're not married, and I sure as heck don't see two kids anywhere, unless you count Jasper and Emmett."

I was stumped. He was right. I went through all my conversations with toomoodyforwords in my mind.

**smartass18 says: Okay, um, how old are you?**

**toomoodyforwords07 says: Seventeen.**

**smartass18 says: Seventeen! You're lying. You don't sound seventeen. **

**toomoodyforwords07 says: Well, I am. Technically. **

**smartass18 says: Technically.**

_Technically… he said he was technically seventeen._

**toomoodyforwords07 says: I have four siblings. We're all friends.**

**smartass18 says: Wow. Close-knit family huh?**

**toomoodyforwords07 says: Very. **

_Close-knit family. Four siblings. Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, Alice… four._

**toomoodyforwords07 says: My girlfriend died.**

_Bella._

I went through it all over again. His maturity… his intelligence… the characteristics that seemed way older than his actual age… the time when Alice called Edward and toomoodyforwords had to log off. No, too much matched up for me to write this one off as coincidence. Edward was looking at me triumphantly. He knew he had me there.

"Okay, you're right. Maybe we did manage to meet up. A lot. But I still can't be with you, Edward," I maintained.

"Why not," he demanded, but then his voice lowered, soft, vulnerable as he asked me, "Don't you love me too, Danny?"

I took in a sharp breath. I hated myself for what I was about to say, but I had no choice. There was no way that he was going to leave me if I told him the truth, that was certain. I may hurt him now, but it was nothing compared to what might happen if I gave in. I had to hurt him, to save him. I carefully composed my face so that no emotion at all would show when I said it, even while every cell in my body was screaming in protest inside. Edward's eyes scanned my face.

"I'm sorry, Edward," I said, in a voice that was flat, toneless, and dead, "but no, I don't."

His hand dropped from my chin as if it had been burned and his eyes magnified the hurt that was written on his face a thousand times. I felt his pain, and it was worse within me, because I knew it was I who was hurting him.

"So that's it, then?" he asked, "that's all you have to say?" His voice was flat now too, barely masking the pain that was present in his eyes. I looked away. I had to end this.

"Yes," was all I could manage.

"Look at me when you say that," Edward commanded. I jerked my head up to look at him and made sure my eyes were firm and unyielding.

"Yes!" I said forcefully. He scrutinized my expression and then, his shoulders seemed to sag a little, but just a little. Anyone else wouldn't have noticed.

"Well, then," he said, his voice cool now, bland, emotionless, like the voice on the automatic answering machines. I hated it. "I wish you every happiness."

"Thank you," I said mechanically, "And I you. I wish you luck. I…I hope you find someone who will be better to you than I."

"That won't be necessary," Edward said brusquely. I looked up, but his expression was the same as ever. I could feel the hysteria bubbling up, the "Don't believe me, I'm lying, April Fool's" starting to fight its way out. I needed him to leave. Now.

"Well, then," I said, "I guess this is goodbye."

"Yes, goodbye, Danny."

"Goodbye, Edward."

He stared at me for a second longer and then, he was gone. I counted slowly to a hundred, partially to make sure he was really gone, and partially to stave off the hysterics I knew was coming, before I collapsed against the wall, shaking uncontrollably. _Oh my God,_ I thought, _Oh my fucking God. What have I done?_

**Yes... I know, I know. Everyone hates me. But trust me, it gets better. And I mean _better_ better!!! So please, keep reading and REVIEW, even if it's hate mail (but no death threats please). :) **

**Love,  
starrytwilightgirl**


	38. Chapter 38 Things I'll Never Say

_If I could say what I want to say  
I'd say I wanna blow you away  
Be with you every night  
Am I squeezing you too tight  
If I could say what I want to see  
I want to see you go down  
On one knee  
Marry me today  
Guess, I'm wishing my life away  
With these things I'll never say_

"Things I'll Never Say"

-Avril Lavigne

Alice's POV

I raced through the darkness, absolutely seething. If she'd done what I suspected she'd done, well then, the girl must be crazy! Or masochistic! Or blinder than a bat! I was going to get to the bottom of this, if I had to tie her up and torture her. They both had suffered long enough as it was. I was going to have to take this into my own hands.

It wasn't long before I got to high-rise apartment where she lived. When she broke down four hours ago, her mind cleared for a minute and I saw exactly where she was before she snapped it shut again. I also saw where Edward was headed, and although I knew he wasn't heading where I feared, although I knew he wasn't planning what I feared, it was still too close for comfort. I strode up to the information desk. The man standing there was looking at his damn computer and was purposefully ignoring me. I rolled my eyes.

"Excuse me," I said sweetly, "Could you tell me which apartment Danielle Rory is staying in please?"

"She's not in at the moment," he drawled, still not looking at me.

"But, it's really _really_ important. I just need to leave her something," I explained. The receptionist finally looked at me and his eyes widened.

"Woah," he said.

"So how 'bout it?" I asked. My patience was running short.

"Huh?" he asked. He'd completely forgotten what I had asked. I was irritated.

"I need Danielle Rory's apartment number, _please_," I demanded testily.

"I-I-I'm sorry. But I can't give you that right now, as she's not in," he stammered. I sighed. It was time to bring in reinforcements. It was a lucky thing that I had just come in from Jasper. I leaned over a little bit, just enough to give him a peek at the lingerie that was lurking under my trench coat, but not the full deal. His eyes widened to the size of dinner plates and he made a strange sort of choking sound. A drop of sweat ran down the line of his nose and I barely refrained from wrinkling my own.

"I don't think you heard me correctly," I whispered, "But it's really _really_ important," I said, looking at him from beneath my lashes.

"Room 205, 19th floor," he said hoarsely. I beamed a smile at him.

"Thank you," I sang, and danced away towards the stairway. I ran up to the 19th floor and found the corresponding room. I cocked an eyebrow as I noticed that the door was propped up. It looked like it had been broken, as if someone had simply ripped it off its hinges. I sniffed the air around me. Danny. Edward. And then, another scent, a more recent one, that I didn't recognize, but one that was definitely not human. I couldn't imagine what might have happened. I heard the sound of scrubbing from inside and wondered what was going on.

I rang the doorbell and a second later, the door was moved aside a crack, and a golden eye peered out at me.

"Who are you? What do you want?" a suspicious male voice barked. I could only assume it was Nick.

"I'm Alice Cullen, a friend of Danny's. I want to see her," I said, "You're Nick, right?"

"Yes. Look, I don't know what your lot did to her, but she's pretty bad right now. I'm not sure if I want to let anyone see her," Nick said protectively. I crossed my arms and ignored the jibe. It only showed that he cared about her, and Danny's friends were my friends.

"I'm just here to try and figure out what happened," I said, "and if you don't mind, my brother is pretty bad right now too. I'm thinking it's related."

The vampire hissed, "So it is that prude, Edward, that did this to her! My god, I swear I'll kill him if he ever shows his face here again."

"I appreciate your concern for Danny," I said, "But I'm afraid it's more complicated than that. Now, will you please let me in so I can get to the bottom of this?"

There was a pause as the vampire contemplated it, and then finally, when my patience was just about to run out, he let me in. I strode into the room and found Danny in the kitchen, which was also where the scrubbing noise was coming from. I stopped and stared at possibly the most frightening sight I had ever seen in my life.

Danny was on her knees on the floor, a bucket of soapy water next to her and a sponge in her hand, which she was using to scour the floor (hence the scrubbing noises) with movements that were reminiscent of automatons. She was wearing ratty old jeans that had a hole in one knee and looked like they were from the late nineties and a worn out blue "Yale" shirt. Her hair was a mess, falling into her face and almost obstructing her face from view, just everywhere, as if she'd been trying to rip it out by the roots.

"Danny?" I called tentatively and bent down to look into her face, which was almost parallel with the floor, only to quickly straighten back up again, chilled. There was no life in her usually vivid green eyes. It was like she was dead. The body was there, but the person inside was gone. I turned to Nick.

"How long has she been like this?" I asked him.

"Ever since I came home almost an hour ago," he answered, "I got home to find her like this, and this note that she left me." He handed the note to me and I read it.

_Nick,_

_I had to leave. I'm sorry. Please, don't bother looking for me. I won't be coming back here, but maybe we'll meet up again. Take care of yourself._

_Love always,_

_Danny_

I rolled my eyes. That little drama queen! This was pure Danny, through and through. Over-reacting to every single little thing! She and my brother were made for each other. I turned my attention back to the nut in question.

"What is she doing?" I asked. Nick's face was bleak.

"She's cleaning," he said simply.

"What for?" I asked. The place was already spotless.

"To take her mind off of whatever she doesn't want to think about," Nick answered, "she used to do this everyday. But she stopped once I signed her up for a chat room online. She started talking with this guy called toomoodyforwords07, and that took the place of cleaning. He was a good distraction for her. But now, obviously, she's started again. I tried snapping her out of it, but she just won't listen. It's like she's suddenly become deaf. I even told her that I was going to throw her laptop along with all her research into the fire, but she didn't even budge!"

I didn't hear anything after the chat room part, "Wait a minute, toomoodyforwords07? That's who she's been talking to?"

"Yeah."

"But," I said incredulously, "that's… that's Edward! I signed him up for a chat room too, because he was moping around way too much! I gave him that screen name, toomoodyforwords07!"

Nick stared at me.

"So…" he said, "they've been talking to each other this whole time?"

I stared back. Oh. My. God. If I didn't get to the bottom of this… Finally, I snapped out of it and turned back to Danny. I knelt in front of her, so that my face was level with hers.

"Hey, Danny. Hey. HEY!" I shouted, snapping my fingers at her. No answer. Nick was right. Not one single response. Not a twitch, not a blink. Nothing. I persevered, however.

"Danny, what did Edward say to you?"

No answer. She continued scrubbing.

"Did he tell you that he loves you?"

Still no answer. But she started scrubbing faster. It wasn't much faster, and a normal person wouldn't have even noticed it, but I did and I took it as a yes. The rest of the conversation wasn't hard to guess.

"He did, didn't he? And then he asked if you love him, am I right?"

She scrubbed a little bit faster. My jaw dropped. I was sure of what had happened now and couldn't believe it.

"He did! And you told him no, didn't you? Oh my GOD, Danny! How could you! Are you _crazy_?" I was shouting now in disbelief. Danny's hand had sped up to a blur, even to me.

"Danny!" I called, "Danny, look at me!" She wouldn't. I grabbed her hand to stop her cleaning. We struggled with it for a while, but then she won out and went back on scrubbing.

"Come on, Danny," I pleaded, "I need to get something out of you! I left Jasper blindfolded and tied to a bed for you! DID YOU HEAR ME? BLINDFOLDED AND TIED TO A BED!!! Do you have any _idea_ how irritated he's going to be with me? Look at this!" I showed her the racy, lacy, barely there bra under my trenchcoat, "I didn't even have time to change!" There was no response. I tried force again as I reached for her hand. This time, she reacted. She slammed the sponge down, sending a spray of soapy water all over her and myself and even Nick, who was standing more than ten feet away from us.

"What do you want, Alice," she snarled, head snapping up to glare at me. Her eyes were no longer dead. They were furious now. My eyes widened. This was so unlike her. She'd never yelled at me before, except once, years ago in a sterile hospital room. She wasn't exactly in the right frame of mind then, either. Obviously, I'd hit a nerve.

"I just want to know exactly why you told Edward you didn't love him," I said calmly.

"You don't know that I did," she said peevishly. I crossed my arms. So she was going to play it like this, was she? Well then, it was time for Miss Alice to bring out the big guns, the nukes. She was going to hate me for this later, for causing her so much anxiety, but she'd thank me for it in the long run.

"If that's the case, then why the hell do I see Edward going to Italy?" I asked her. She froze and the fury dimmed out of her eyes, only to be placed with uncertainty, disbelief, and then, raw and naked fear. She knew what I meant. I heard Nick suck in a breath. He knew what I meant, too. Oh well, I'll explain it to him later, when Danny was well out of earshot.

"What?" she breathed.

"You heard me. He's on a flight there right now!"

DPOV

"You heard me. He's on a flight there right now!" Alice said serenely. I didn't know how she could be so calm right now. Her brother was basically on a suicide mission! How the hell was she so calm?

"_Why_?" I asked stupidly.

"Why? _Why?_" Alice was beginning to lose her cool now, "Danny, do you really not know? He loves you! Whether you believe it or not, he loves you. So much so that he'd rather die than not be with you. Now you tell me why he's heading to Italy."

I shook my head and ducked behind my last defense. Denial. Not just a river in Africa, but an extraordinarily useful defense mechanism, one that I used often.

"No, you're lying. That can't be true," I said.

"Oh? Look for yourself," Alice said. I did and what I saw scared the shit out of me. It was Edward on a plane, the same dead look in his eyes that I had left him with.

"Crap!" I cursed, along with a whole other line of obscenities. Alice raised her eyebrows at them. I didn't doubt that there were some choice words in there that she hadn't even heard before. Spending almost fifty-six hours a week with college kids can do that to you. I thrust a hand towards her, "Give me your phone!"

Alice snorted, "Don't bother. He either doesn't have his phone on him, or he's not answering. I already tried that."

"Oh, God," I moaned, my head now in my hands, "What can I do then?" I knew exactly what I had to do. I just didn't feel like I had the courage to do it. Alice rolled her eyes.

"The only thing you can do. Go after him, for God's sake! Tell him you were lying, that you really do love him, that you were being perverse and stupid when you told him otherwise."

I sighed. I had fully expected Edward to go back to living life as usual. I hadn't expected him to go and _do_ this. But I knew what I had to do. Despite everything, even though I believed I couldn't be with him, I knew that I couldn't stand it if he left the earth. Even if I couldn't be with him, I at least wanted to be in the same world as him. That was my minimum requirement. That he be alive and well. At that moment, I knew that I would do anything to keep him alive, even if it meant giving up my own life. I shot up off the floor, accidentally knocking the bucket of soapy water over in my haste. The water sloshed across the kitchen floor but I was far from caring.

"Let's go," I said, grabbing my wallet, and rushed out the door. Alice cheered and followed me out. I forewent a cab and chose to simply race through the streets of New York. Considering the traffic in this city, a car would simply slow me down.

"When did he leave?" I yelled over my shoulder.

"About an hour ago," Alice shouted back. I cursed. An hour was a long time. I had to catch him before he reached the Volturi. If not… I shuddered to think of the consequences. All I knew was that I wouldn't be long after. Another question popped into my head. I knew the Volturi lived in Italy, but I couldn't remember exactly which city it was in. I'd only heard the name once, when I was human, and now, many of those memories were blurred. All I knew was that it started with a "V."

"Exactly which city is he headed towards, Alice?" I asked. She hesitated for a moment before answering. I found myself frowning. What, did she forget it too?

"Venice," she finally answered back. I nodded. Right. Venice. I knew it started with a "V." I asked her a couple more questions, like the flight number and where he left from before we reached the LaGuardia airport.

I rushed to the ticket counter, cutting past a huge line of people. I ignored the grumbles and protests of the people behind me.

"Lady, are you fucking crazy? Wait in line like all the rest of us!" an irate man yelled at me. The statement went through deaf ears. I impatiently slammed my hand repeatedly against the counter, trying to get the attendant's attention.

"Can I help you?" she asked, looking at me sternly over her thick glasses.

"I need the fastest jet you have to Venice, Italy at the soonest time. Now," I said. She checked the computer while I tapped my fingers on the counter and wished she'd hurry up already. I was just about to completely blow up when she finally spoke.

"We have a jet that will get you there in about two hours. It's the fastest jet we have, but I'm afraid it's leaving in less than five minutes—" she said.

"I'll take that one," I interrupted. The woman frowned at me.

"I'm sorry ma'am, but I cannot sell you those tickets. You're too late. Maybe you should have booked earlier," she said. Fury arose in me. Who did this woman think she was?! Time was running out!

"Look, ma'am," I said through gritted teeth, "you don't understand. _I need those tickets_. Now, will you PLEASE get them for me or well I have to print them off from the damn computer myself?" I was now leaning almost completely over her and the poor woman looked like she'd practically peed her pants. Served her right for wasting my time.

"Just kidding. Two tickets coming up," she squeaked.

"Actually, just one," Alice spoke up, "I have to get back to Jasper." I looked at her in dismay, but she avoided my eyes. I was hoping that I would have someone there with me, for moral support, but I let it go. I didn't have time to argue with her now. Besides, she was right. I didn't want to keep her from Jasper. My crazy love life shouldn't be ruining hers.

"Here you go," the lady in thick glasses said, "one ticket to Venice. That'll be—"

I slammed the money on the countertop before she'd even finished her sentence, grabbed the tickets, and ran, sprinting past security (I didn't even bring anything and didn't have anything on me except my wallet for gosh sakes'!) and arrived at the gate. They were just about to close the passageway when I got there, but taking one look at my face, they opened it back up and let me in. I quickly found my seat and sat down, sitting right on the edge, not bothering to buckle the seat belt. The plane took off.

The plane trip was only two hours, but it seemed the longest two hours of my life. I was going crazy the entire time, thinking about where Edward was at the moment, if he had arrived yet, what would ensue if I failed… I did numerous things to distract me. I tapped my foot, I twiddled my thumbs, I tried to straighten up my hair. The passenger sitting next to me eyed me disapprovingly, probably thinking I was on drugs.

When the flight finally landed, I was the first one out, zipping past everyone else to the front of the line. I hadn't brought anything, no bags, no purse, so it was fairly easy to make my escape.

I zoomed out of the passageway and headed for the exits. I glanced up at the display screens on the walls. Crap. Edward's flight had landed more than five minutes ago. He could be anywhere by now! I skipped past customs and raced out the door.

I sprinted around the building until finally, I found a trace of his scent. I followed it, peering over the heads of all the people in the crowd to see a glimpse of bronze hair. Of course, it didn't help that it was raining cats and dogs and everyone was carrying an umbrella. I had no umbrella and was already drenched to the bone, but I was past caring at this point. I pushed my way through the crowd, finally settling on yelling.

"Edward!" I screamed, "Edward, where are you?" The sleet and rain beat down upon my hair, pasting it onto my face and I pushed it away furiously. I raced forward and reached a lull in the crowd, a place where there was a less density of people. His scent was strong here. Finally, I saw him, about a hundred feet away from me, an umbrella raised above his head, and walking resolutely forward. My breathing hitched in my throat.

"Edward!" I shouted. The pounding rain partially drowned out my voice. He stopped for a moment, as if contemplating something, but then he shook his head and moved on again. I screamed louder, running towards him.

"EDWARD!!!" I hollered. This time he turned around. I stopped, breath hitching like it always did at the sight of him. When he saw me, his face registered first shock, then disbelief, then pain, and then settled back into the dead expression that pierced my heart, more so because I had put it there. I walked forward a little, so we were at least within talking distance.

"What are you doing here?" he asked dully.

"I—I want you to come back, Edward," I said.

"Why? Why do you care where I go?" Edward questioned.

"Please, Edward," I said brokenly, "Please, don't do this." The raindrops that ran down my face might as well have been tears.

"What are you talking about," Edward asked, "You don't care what I do. You made that very clear. You'll move on with your life, and I'll do what I can with mine." I looked on in horror as he turned around and started walking again. That was it. I cracked.

"Edward, I love you," I screamed at him. He froze and slowly pivoted to face me.

"What did you just say?" he asked incredulously.

"I love you," I sobbed. He looked at me for a while, analyzing my eyes, my expression. He looked doubtful.

"Say it again," he ordered.

"I love you. I _love_ you. _I_ love you. I love _you_. _I love you._ I love you, godammit and I'm sorry I ever said otherwise. Everything else was a stupid, blank-faced lie. I LOVE YOU EDWARD ANTHONY MASEN CULLEN!," I screamed it out loud, to him, to the world, to God, to anyone and everyone that ever lived in the history of the universe who cared to listen. The words poured out of my mouth, as natural as water down a waterfall. Almost a hundred years of keeping these words buried were released in these two seconds.

"I love you and I never want to leave your side, ever ever again, do you hear me? I want to see you smile at me, every single day of my existence and know that it's meant just for me. I need you, Edward, more than I ever needed anything else. I'll die without you, I swear I will!" I continued. Suddenly, in what seemed like less than three steps, he was right in front of me, his hands around my face, tilting it up to look at him. He had a brilliant smile on his face, one that took my breath away.

"You don't know how long I've waited to hear you say that," he whispered, the sound seeming to go all the way through my body. And then, he blocked the passage of any more words through my mouth by kissing me. A fire raged through me and I forgot about everything. I forgot my name, I forgot his name, I forgot that I looked like crap and that my hair was absolutely plastered to my skull, I forgot where we were, I forgot why I had come here, I forgot everything and anything, except for the fact that the man I loved was in my arms and I was finally, _finally_ showing him exactly how much I really loved him. I threw my arms around his neck and pressed myself as close to him as possible, and it still wasn't close enough. All I could taste was Edward, all I could see was Edward, and all I could smell was Edward. He permeated my being, through and through. The umbrella was long abandoned and had probably blown away with the wind, because both of Edward's arms were now wrapped tightly around my waist and he picked me up and swung me around, without ever taking his lips away from my own.

He pulled away after a while, but in my mind it was too soon. I wanted to keep on kissing him. I pouted and grabbed Edward's face again for another kiss. He kissed me again, this time sweetly and tenderly, leaving my mouth and kissing up to my nose and up and up and up to end at my forehead.

"You've kept me waiting a long time," he said. My head spun and I could barely formulate a coherent reply.

"I'm sorry," I finally apologized, my voice a bit hoarse.

He smiled again, "It was worth the wait."

The rain by now had eased up, and only a few drops were drizzling onto our heads, although it didn't really matter, since we were both absolutely soaked anyway.

I felt my sleeve tugged and surprised, I looked around. There was a wizened, snowy haired old man looking at me, his eyes twinkling. He, like everyone else, was holding an umbrella. But he had something else… He had a sketch pad tucked under his arm and a folded piece of paper that looked torn out of it clutched in his hand.

"Mi scusi, signorina," he said.

"Sì, signore?" I asked, puzzled.

The old man looked at me seriously, "Ciò è per voi ed il signore. Mi avete portato un po'di luce dopo una nerezza di cinque anni e per quello li ringrazio." **(*Translation at bottom) **Then, he left, disappearing as fast as he had appeared. I looked at Edward and he was as puzzled as I was.

"Open it," he suggested. I did, and we put our heads together to protect it from the drizzle. It was a drawing, a sketch of a sculpture it seemed, but of nothing I'd never seen before. It was a combination of line, shape, and form, all entwined together. I continued staring at it, and something about it caught my heart. The way the shapes were twisted around each other… I looked further.

"There's a signature," I said, "It says Angelo Giordano?"

"Angelo Giordano?" Edward asked, "I know him."

I looked at him, surprised, "You do?"

"Yes. He's Esme's favorite artist at present. He's a sculptor. Not very well-known amongst the general public, but he's highly recognized and respected among the inner circles of the art community," he explained.

"Huh, that was him?" I asked.

"I'm guessing so. I've never actually seen him," Edward said, "but whoever he was, you obviously inspired him. Do you not recognize this?" He gestured at the paper again and I looked. The forms and shapes were familiar, yes, but I couldn't think of exactly what it was… I looked closer. Suddenly, the forms and shapes arranged themselves into something I recognized and I gasped. I knew exactly what it was now.

"It's… it's you! And me," I said in astonishment. The old man must have drawn this within the last five minutes… Edward laughed at my surprise.

"You see?" he said, nuzzling my cheek, "You're an inspiration to everyone."

I tilted my head up and caught his lips, "No, _we_ inspired him."

"I can live with that," Edward replied, and imprisoned me within his arms again, a prison in which I would have gladly stayed inmate forever.

**Awww…. I know. FINALLY! But… I have a few more tricks up my sleeve :), so DON'T STOP READING!!! Just a brief warning, the next chapter's going to be pretty steamy…! You know what they say, when you have lemons… **

**REVIEW!!! …Please? :) Thank you. **

**-starrytwilightgirl**

**Translation:**

**-Excuse me, miss.**

**-Yes, sir?**

**-This is for you and monsieur. You've given me a bit of light after five years' darkness and for that, I am grateful.**


	39. Chapter 39 A Moment Like This

**Hey everyone. I'm aware that it's been FOREVER since I last updated and I'm sooooooooo sorry. It's just that I've been drowning in college apps and frankly, getting into college is just a bit more important (gasp! yes, i know... blasphemy!!!). But now, all my apps are done and sent out! YAY! So... hopefully I'll be able to update more frequently. However, I'm not sure if I can finish this story before summer, although I hope I will :( Thank you to all those who review (edwardisperfection92, klandgraf2007, LadyGrimR, and Crity, I'm looking at you!) and to all those who continue to read and subscribe and favorite despite my horrible lack of productivity (Becca200393, ImaBiteChu, luna194, sasukelover1010z, XBURNEDbyLOVEX, Adastreia, Bustedwitch, existingcrisis, Rickii101, and Winter Stevenson, I'm lookin' at you). Love you guys! Thank you all sooooo much for reading and caring! 3 Enjoy the story.**

**LEMON ALERT!!!**

_Everywhere I'm looking now  
I'm surrounded by your embrace  
Baby I can see your halo  
You know you're my saving grace_

"Halo"

-Beyonce

DPOV

I stood in the bright lights of the elevator of the hotel that Edward had just checked into, dripping water all over the shiny marble floor. The receptionist had looked at us strangely as we staggered in like a pair of drowned, bedraggled cats. I thought he was about to throw us out! But then, Edward whipped out a credit card and called his reservation. The man's face quickly turned to one of respect. Obviously Edward had been here before.

"Can we change that to a two bedroom suite, please?" Edward asked. The man complied and hurriedly did his bidding.

Now, we were both standing side by side in the elevator, waiting for it to reach the very top floor. I didn't notice my hand creeping toward his until I actually grabbed it. I looked down, surprised, and Edward smiled at me. The glass paneling of the elevator tunnel turned to black as walls blocked our view. For the first time, I got a good luck at myself and I gasped, ducking my head in shame. No wonder the receptionist stared! Edward looked down worriedly.

"What's wrong," he asked me, brow crinkling into a frown.

"Nothing," I mumbled, too ashamed to say anything. Edward stepped in front of me and held both my hands, looking down at me. This thankfully blocked my view from my own reflection.

"Tell me, Danny. Please." he coaxed.

I bit my lip, "It's just… sometimes, like now… I wish it were true… what they say about vampires not being able to see their own reflections in the mirror."

Edward frowned and looked behind him at the shiny, reflective glass. I looked up again and looked down just as quickly.

"What do you mean?" he asked. I gaped at him. Can't he notice?

"I look like a mess!" I finally blurted out, "It's not fair… why do you get to look like a freaking fashion model soaking wet while I have to look like a hobo?"

Edward stared at me and after a moments silence, burst out laughing.

I crossed my arms, pouting, "Well, thanks I lot. I don't find it a bit funny."

Edward wrapped me into his arms, "Oh Danny, I'm not laughing at _that_. I'm laughing at the completely ridiculous statement you just made."

"Huh?" I asked.

Edward smiled and placed a kiss on my forehead, "Trust me, Danny. You do not, in any way, look like a… hobo, was it? If you did, you'd be the prettiest hobo there ever was. You look amazing. In fact, I think you look downright sexy."

"Really?" I asked, then set my face, "you're just saying that."

"No, I'm really not. You do not know just how irresistible you really are," he said.

"I could say the same about you," I managed, before he kissed me. I felt myself falling, falling, falling into the world that was Edward and before I knew it, my arms were around him and we were backed up against the wall. The last thought that crossed my mind before my brain turned off was how lucky we were that we were the only ones in the elevator just then. My soggy shirt lifted up just an inch as my arms crept up to rest around Edward's neck and his fingers touched my bare skin. The touch sent a jolt of pleasure through me and I gasped. I felt as if my knees would give out if we went any further. But fortunately, we were interrupted before Edward had to carry me out of the elevator.

"Hello?" a voice was coming out of the intercom. Edward and I looked around, confused. Edward found his voice first.

"Yes?" he asked tentatively.

"Are you okay, sir?" the voice said, "we received notice that your elevator has stopped." And indeed it had. I'd barely noticed. Edward pointed to something behind me and I twisted to see what it was. It was a big red button and above it, in big letters, it said PUSH TO STOP IN CASE OF EMERGENCY.

"You must have accidentally pushed it," he observed.

I raised an eyebrow at him, "_**I**_ pushed it? I believe that you were the one who'd pushed me _against_ it."

Edward laughed, "So I did."

The voice from the intercom spoke again, this time laced with a tinge of discomfort, "So we are all okay up there?"

"Yes, we are. Thank you. And I apologize. We barely noticed the elevator had stopped," Edward replied.

"I'm sure," the voice answered dryly. I looked down at my feet, a bit embarassed, but wanting to laugh at the same time. I bit my lip to stay silent.

"Well," the voice said a bit huffily, "could you please press the button again and allow the elevator to run? We do have other customers who need to use it."

"Yes, of course," Edward said, "Right away. We're sorry."

"Have a nice day," the voice said curtly and the intercom beeped off. I pressed the red button again and the elevator sprang to life. We were, in fact, just two floors away from our own floor and the elevator door reopened within the next five seconds. Edward offered his arm to me with a smile.

"Come on," he said, "let's get out of here before we do anything that might get us kicked out."

I laughed and took the offered arm. Edward smoothly opened the door to the suite and gestured for me to go in. I looked at the place and gasped. It was the most beautiful room I had ever seen. The walls were adorned with gold leaf and the furniture was of the shiniest, richest mahogany. I hesitated.

"What?" Edward asked, "is something wrong with the room?" And he peered over my shoulder to look.

"No, no" I said quickly, "It's just that… it's so beautiful, I'm almost afraid to step in."

I knew Edward was rolling his eyes behind me by the tone of his voice, "Don't be silly, Danny." And he gave me a little push so that I stumbled in, my shoes sinking into the plush carpet. Edward followed past me. I righted myself again and looked around, now noticing the bags that were in the bedroom. I frowned. If Edward had been coming here to kill himself, why would he bring bags…?

"Are those your bags, Edward?" I called out to him as he headed toward the same bedroom.

"Whose else would they be?" was his amused answer. The bedroom door closed and I puzzled over this strange fact. Edward emerged from the room a few seconds later with a new shirt and pants on and his hair towel-dried. I was still standing in the same spot.

He kissed me on the cheek and said, "I have to go down for a minute and see about flights back, since I wasn't really thinking about the return date when I booked a flight here, but I'll be right back, okay?"

I nodded at him. Well at least this made sense. Of course he wasn't thinking about the return date...

"Yeah, sure," I said, "Hurry back."

He smiled and kissed me again and was gone, closing the door gently behind him. I looked around the empty suite, sucking in my breath at the grandeur of it all. What to do, what to do? I was conscious of my wet hair dripping all over the carpet. Well, a shower would be a good start… So I walked into the bathroom and turned the knob in the glass shower. A spray of warm water shot down, pooling on the floor before spiraling down the drain. I peeled off my wet clothing and stepped in, reveling in the pounding of the drops on my skin. I methodically washed my hair, shampoo, rinse, conditioner, rinse, and then lathered up the rest of my body. While doing so, I thought in wonder at all that had happened in the past one or two days. First, I thought Edward loved me, then thought he didn't and loved Tanya instead, then he came and told me he loved me, and then I lied and said I didn't love him, and then Alice came and told me he was headed to Italy, and then I came and told him I actually _did_ love him (the understatement of all time) and now here I was, standing in the shower of a one suite palace and washing my hair. It was enough to make one dizzy, so I put it out of my mind. As the water started to run cold, I switched off the water and stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around myself, and looked around, only to remember that I hadn't brought anything except the clothes on my back, which were soaking wet.

"Crap," I whispered, mind whirring, trying to decide what to do. I crept to the doorway and listened, hoping that Edward wasn't back yet. I'd been in the shower for a while… Nope, he wasn't. Not yet. So, I quietly turned the lock and doorknob and sneaked out of the shower and into the bedroom where his bags were. I hoped that Edward wouldn't mind if I borrowed some of his clothes.

I knelt by the bag and went through it, pulling out a shirt and a pair of boxers. Those would do for now… I quickly put them on, buttoning up the shirt and rolling up the boxers so that they wouldn't slide down my hips. I zipped the bag shut and walked into the bathroom again. I found a silver hairdryer and brush set, which I used to comb and dry my unruly hair. That done, I wandered back out into the living room, looking around for Edward. He still wasn't back… I frowned and wondered what was taking him so long.

Bored, I walked over to the windows, where thick curtains were drawn, the reason why the room was so dark in the middle of the day. I drew them back to reveal huge windows that looked out to the famous canals and the ancient buildings and restaurants that lined it. At present, there weren't any people eating at the side of the canal, since it was still raining. The rain splattered against the windows and ran down in rivulets. I looked further, beyond the buildings of the old city that rose up to meet the impenetrable slate gray sky. I shook my head in disbelief. I couldn't believe I was really here. With _Edward._ It all seemed like some sort of fantastic dream that could go away any second.

I heard familiar footsteps from outside in the hallway and I turned around. Soon, the door opened and Edward appeared.

"Sorry I took so long," he apologized, "but they couldn't find another flight back that's recent. The best one they had is in a week and a half. When does school start for you?"

"Two weeks," I replied.

"Well then, that's perfect," he exclaimed, "I hope you don't mind staying here with me for a week and a half?"

"No, not at all," I said, shaking my head vehemently. Edward smiled.

"Nice shirt," he complimented. I looked down, remembering that I wasn't wearing my own clothes.

"Oh! I'm sorry… I hope you don't mind… I was kind of in a rush, so I didn't bring anything," I explained.

"No worries," he replied, "Besides, I love how you look right now. In fact, I was about to call Alice to mail you your clothes, but now… I don't know if I don't prefer you like this" He was right in front of me now, and he kissed the tip of my nose.

I tilted my head up and caught his mouth for a kiss, already missing the sweet taste of his lips. He kissed me back softly, but it wasn't enough. I pressed myself to him, wanting more. I wanted to be surrounded by him, to be as close to him as possible and I attacked his mouth hungrily. The kiss progressed until I was softly whimpering into his mouth. My hands had roamed to the back of his shirt and were gripping it in two tight fists, attempting to rip it off. I had no idea exactly what I was doing by this point; it was pure impulse. All of my years of resisting that impossible desire to touch him were culminating in this moment. We separated for one millisecond so I could have his shirt off him and crashed together again, tasting each other as if we could never have enough. Edward kissed his way off my mouth and down my neck, and across my shoulder, not the toughest job as my, or I guess, his, shirt was hanging off of me, the buttons popped in the frenzy. My knees felt like jelly as he kissed down my neck and they acted as such, collapsing before Edward even reached the end of my collarbone.

Edward caught me and picked me up into his arms. He was carrying me; I knew not, I cared not where. Edward's eyes were intense and dark with desire and through the reflection coming off of them, I could see that mine were too. Edward lowered me and I was conscious of something soft, a bed it turned out, against my back. He paused and looked down at me, brushing a strand of hair away from my face.

"You are so beautiful," he murmured.

I ducked my head, bashful now, and mumbled, gazing at his naked, sculptured torso, "You're not so bad yourself." Laughing, Edward bent over me and kissed me again, once on the forehead, once on the nose, once on my mouth, once on my chin, and going down, finishing off the buttons on my shirt as he did. He started to spread the shirt open and suddenly stopped, looking curiously at something. I looked down and saw what he was looking at. It was the gold locket that Bella had given me, with the word 'Best' inscribed on it.

"Bella had one of those, too," he whispered, "except that hers had 'Friends' on it."

I felt a pang of shame, but I was surprised to find that it wasn't enough to overcome my feelings right now and I lifted my hands to my neck to take it off. Edward's hands flew up to stop me and I looked at him questioningly.

"You don't have to do that," he explained, "it's a part of you."

I looked at him for a second, but then proceeded to unclasp the hook, which was rusty; it hadn't been used since Bella first gave it to me.

"I think," I said slowly, "that it's time for me to let it go. Someone once told me that we should let go of the past." And I gently set it on the bedside table. Edward was still looking at me, so I proacted and pulled his head down to kiss me. He pulled himself up again and I groaned, thinking that I might die if we stopped one more time. He looked at me seriously.

"Danny, are you sure you want to do this?" he asked me.

"I just told you, Edward—" I said.

"No, not _that_," he said, "_this_." And waved his arm toward me and the bed and the room.

"I mean, after everything that happened with… that you've gone through," he continued, "What I'm trying to say is. I don't want to make you do anything that will hurt you, or that you might regret. I'm willing to wait for however long it might be until you're ready."

I looked at him, astounded at the incredible man in front of me while he looked at me worriedly, waiting for my answer. No one else had ever given a shit what I thought about sex. Not Dexter. Not Jacob. I thought about it. I was slightly nervous yes—the only intimacy I'd known was with Jacob, unfortunately, and I was wondering if it was going to hurt. But I knew what I wanted.

"Edward," I said slowly and carefully, "all I want right now is to be as close to you as possible. _I want you to make me yours._"

"Are you sure?" he said doubtfully.

"Am I hesitating?" I asked him, an eyebrow raised. He broke into a smile and it all started again. Pretty soon, Edward's now tattered shirt was ripped from my body and dumped unceremoniously on the floor and I gasped, back arching up as Edward's mouth closed around my breast.

It was unlike anything I'd ever felt before as he swirled his devilishly skillful tongue around the erect, sensitive nub there. But, old memories came rushing back as I realized that it was like something that I'd felt long before, when I was on the brink of death. The stray thought was blasted from my mind as Edward moved down, pausing to dip his tongue into my belly button, making me cry out in pleasure. I trembled as he crept lower, lower, lower… until finally, I could feel his breath against the tops of my thighs. His eyes caught mine and he looked into them long and hard before he disappeared again. It felt like forever before he finally touched me, tasting me where no one had ever tasted before, causing me to buck up in surprise at the thrill that overwhelmed me.

He gently held my hips down as his tongue skillfully probed the folds of skin between my legs. Every nerve in my body seemed to be on fire, aware of every single little move he was making. I shook and my heavy lids sank as he inserted one long finger into me, and then another, and then another, finally moving them, pressing then against my inner walls in a delightful rhythm. I could feel the pressure building in the lower parts of my body and I was writhing, certain that I would go crazy before it was finally released. And then, he did it. With one flick of his tongue on the little bundle of nerves right above his fingers, he sent me screaming over the edge. I thrashed in delicious agony as waves upon waves of ecstasy crashed upon me. When the tide finally receded and I finally regained the use of my mind, I saw Edward looking at me from the end of the bed, a smug smile on his lips. That was it. I snapped. I was done playing. I sprang up and grabbed his face so he couldn't escape and looked at him fiercely.

"I want you," I said, and then changed my mind, stating fiercely, "No, I _need_ you in me. _Now._"

"I'm all yours," was his reply, and he kissed my lips. He pushed forward and we both fell back onto the bed, him on top of me. I could feel him pressing against me, the tip of him rubbing against my opening, exciting me as he kissed just under my jawbone. Then he stopped and propped himself up to hover over me, just his eyes sending a warm flush throughout my entire body.

"What?" I asked him.

"Nothing," he said huskily, "I just want to watch your face."

And then, my capacity for speech dropped as he positioned himself and started pushing his way, slowly, slowly into me. I gritted my teeth, waiting for the pain that I was expecting, but which, to my surprise, never came. All there was, was pleasure, a heavenly feeling of belonging, of right-ness. I belonged to him, mind, body, and soul. There was no going back. My breath came out of me, half gasp and half sigh as he buried himself all the way into me, to the hilt. The thought suddenly crossed my mind how two people could be in the exact same place in theh same time without spontaneously combusting. His expression turned worried.

"You okay?" he asked.

I nodded, wanting to say so much, wanting to describe to him the feeling of belonging I felt but only managed to say, "Keep going. Please."

"You have to tell me if I'm hurting you," he said again.

"Please," was all I could say in reply. He pulled out and buried himself again. Pulled out and buried himself again. And again. And again. The pattern repeated at a maddeningly slow pace until at last, he was sure that I was shaking in pleasure, not pain. He kissed up my arms, which he had pinned above me, to reach my hands which were entwined with his, gripping it like a vise.

His steady pace increased and my hips rose up to meet his thrusts. It wasn't enough for me. I wanted more. I wanted harder, faster. But since I didn't have the breath to say it, I decided to take matters into my own hands. Using my elbow as leverage, I pushed off the bed and rolled us over, so that now, I was lying on top of him. I scrambled up and straddled him, my hands on his chest to ensure that I wouldn't fall off. I smirked at the surprised expression on his face as I rose up and eased myself down. We both moaned at the sensation of this new position. I started slowly at first but soon the pace increased and I threw my head back, humming in delight. Before long, I could feel the pressure building again and my fingers dug into Edward's chest. Suddenly, Edward moved, smoothly springing up to a sitting position, never once breaking our connection. I wrapped my legs around him as he thrust into me, faster and faster, taking both of us to the brink. I could tell he was close to his release as his thrusts grew more and more erratic and as I felt the energy inside me building up again, I knew I was close too.

With one last thrust, he sent me over the edge and I fell into the abyss, clutching him as I did so.

"Edward," I screamed, shaking violently. I felt my inner walls convulsing around him and with that he came, too, burying his face into my neck and roaring out my name, sending his seed deep inside of me. We fell, collapsing back onto the bed, both gasping, still clutching at each other. It was funny. As a vampire, I didn't need air. Not at all. But now I was sucking in hordes of it, as if I couldn't get enough.

I burrowed my face into his chest and just concentrated on breathing with him. We were still connected, and I could feel every little thing, every little movement as he softened within me. We lay there for a few moments and when our breathing rate had gone down, I spoke up.

"Edward?" I said.

"Yes?"

"I don't think I can move," I said honestly, "In fact, I don't want to. You may have to pry me off with a spatula."

Edward smiled and replied, "I think I can live with that." I felt him hardening inside me again.

I looked at him in wonder and he laughed, saying, "You have no idea what you do to me, do you?" before rolling me over and bringing me to the heights of the universe yet again.

* * *

I sighed in complete and total bliss as I lay in Edward's arms, lazily drawing circles and random doodles on Edward's bare and perfect chest with my finger. He had his arm around me and was stroking my hair, which was splayed out over his arm on the pillow behind me.

The rainstorm had stopped by now, and a stream of sunlight came in through a crack in the curtains, illuminating our bodies. I traced the sparkles on Edward's skin, finger moving from one to the other like a child's game of connect the dots. I smiled at this juvenile comparison and nestled further into the crook of Edward's arm. We rested like that for a long time and I held my tongue, not wanting to disturb the comfortable peace that lay over us like a comforting blanket. Finally, I knew I couldn't wait any longer and I spoke up.

"We have a lot of talking to do, don't we?" I whispered. Edward's fingers didn't hesitate as they ran through my hair.

"Yes," Edward agreed, "But we don't have to do it all at once." I knew he was right. There was no way to talk about every single issue we had. We were just messed up like that. But there was something that I had to make clear.

"Can I just ask you something though, Edward?"

"Of course," Edward brows furrowed at my serious tone.

"Why did you come here?" I demanded crossly.

Edward sighed, "Well, you said you didn't love me, and I obviously couldn't be hanging around your apartment waiting for you to maybe, one day, change your mind. Nor could I go back to Alaska. All of your things were still there, your scent still hung around the house. I needed to get away, think about what I was going to do next."

I smacked him on the arm, furious at what I was hearing, "Don't you _ever _do that to me again, Edward Cullen. Do you hear me?!"

Edward stared at me in surprise, his eyes defensive, "Well, what did you expect me to do, Danny? You told me you didn't love me. What was the point of me staying around any longer?"

My breaths were coming out faster now as his words sunk into my consciousness and I began to rant.

"I can't believe what you're saying, Edward! How could you do this to me?! If I hadn't been caught you in time... if all I could find of you were your ashes or something..." I trailed off, eyes shutting in horror at what could have happened.

Edward started to look bewildered, " Danny, what are you talking about?"

I looked at him, a wave of confusion now coming upon me, breaking up my speech, "You came here... to Venice... to ask the Volturi..." The words petered out as the confusion stole my voice.

"The Volturi?" Edward repeated, brow knitted before a light dawned in his ochre eyes, making them seem brighter than gold, "Oh! You thought I came here to die?"

Now that we were back on the same page, I found my voice again, "Weren't you?"

"No, of course not, Danny!" Edward said. His eyes were wide in earnestness as he held me closer to him.

I stared at him, "But... but... Italy... and the Volturi."

"The Volturi don't live in Venice, Danny. They live in Volterra," Edward stated matter-of-factly, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. I felt like a dolt.

"But Alice..."

"Alice?" Edward exclaimed suspiciously, his eyes narrowing, "What did she tell you?"

I couldn't answer him as he looked at me, waiting for me to speak. Then, my head slumped back down onto his chest as I realized that I had been duped.

Suddenly the phone next to the bed rang and Edward reached over to pick it up.

"Hello?" he said.

"There is a call for you from a Ms. Alice Cullen?"

I looked over at the phone, my own eyes narrowed. I had a score to settle with a certain raven-haired pixie...

"I will take it," Edward replied. Cooly, I held out my hand and wriggled my fingers, indicating that I wanted the phone. Edward handed it to me, watching my face carefully, as if scared of what I might do. However, I kept it calm and composed. The line connected and I heard Alice's voice over the line.

"Edward? Is--"

I cut her off, "Hello, Alice."

There was silence on the other end and then, "Oh, hello, Danny. I see you've made it there...." My ire started to rise.

"Yes, Alice, I _did_ make it here," I said through gritted teeth, "And you know, I don't appreciate being lied to. You knew the Volturi aren't in Venice, Alice."

Alice's voice was calm, but I could still detect a slight tinge of guilt, "Well, technically, I didn't lie to you Danny. I never told you that the Volturi were in Venice. And I never told you that Edward was actually going to the Volturi."

I gaped, "Yes, you bloody well did, Alice!"

"No," Alice argued, "I didn't. You asked me where Edward was headed and I said Venice. That was it. I never said he was going to the Volturi. You assumed that on your own."

"But... But..." I stammered as I realized that she was right; she never _had_ told me that the Volturi were in Venice, "you might have told me, Alice, that Edward wasn't going to the Volturi. You damn near gave me a heart attack!"

"Yes, but think about it Danny. If I had told you, would you be there with Edward now? You do realize that I have been trying to call this phone for more than a few hours now and that neither of you has picked up until now?"

"Of course I would have," I said stubbornly, although inside, I knew I really wouldn't have.

"You wouldn't, and you know it. You're too stubborn for your own good," Alice said, unfooled, "Anyways, perhaps you'll forgive me after this. I've sent some of your clothes over. They should get there by this afternoon. It was raining when you got there, and you didn't bring an umbrella, so I imagine all of your clothes are soaked. What are you wearing now anyway? Wait, no, that was a bad question. I don't want to know."

I raised an eyebrow, "_Some_ of my clothes, Alice?"

"I added a few things," Alice said, "shoes mainly."

"What?!" I exclaimed in panic, knowing Alice's affinity for forcing me to wear torturously high heels, "Alice!"

"Don't worry, you'll love it. I gotta go now, though, Danny. Bye!" she said.

"Alice!" I squeaked, but she had already hung up and the only response was the dial tone. I slammed down the phone and fell back into Edward's waiting arms, groaning. It was a while before anyone spoke.

"I assume that Alice made you believe that I was going to the Volturi to ask them to kill me?" he said grimly.

"You assume correctly," I whispered.

A silence followed and then I said, "You can't imagine how terrified I was, Edward. I really thought that... that you would... that I wouldn't be able to..." I couldn't even say it. Edward hugged me tighter.

"Danny," he said, "how could you think that I could ever leave you? Even if you didn't want me anymore, I could never leave you permanently. As long as you are here, Danny, then I will be, too, watching, waiting, here if you should ever need me."

"But why, Edward, why? I've never understood your strange concern for me. I'm not that special."

Edward's eyes burned as he answered me, "Don't you ever say that again, Danny! You are very special, especially to me. If I ever lost you..." He was unable to continue this time, but I understood the gist of his thoughts, not because I could read his mind, but because I felt the exact same way about him.

"Just promise me you'll never try to off yourself, Edward," I demanded.

"As long as you are here, Danny, I promise," Edward replied. His qualification of the statement didn't escape me and I glared at him fiercely.

"No, no 'as long as I am here,'" I pressed, "_Promise me_."

Edward gritted his teeth, "I can't do that, Danny. If anything were to happen to you..."

"Fuck whatever happens to me," I cursed, grabbing his face with my hands and forcing him to look into my eyes, "_Promise me_."

He sighed, "If I promise, will you promise me the same thing." I stiffened. That was a different matter.

He smiled smugly, "See?"

"It's not the same thing," I choked out.

"I don't see why not," Edward maintained stubbornly.

"I can't live without you, Edward," I started off, but he interrupted me, his eyes flashing.

"And you think I can without you? If that's truly what you believe, you're horribly, horribly mistaken, Danny," Edward growled. I glared back in reponse. We were stuck. After a few moments, I relaxed, sighing, recognizing the futility of the situation.

"So what happens now?" I asked.

"I believe we're at odds on this matter," Edward said solemnly.

I groaned playfully, "Great, we're no more than a day together and we already have our first fight."

Edward chuckled, "I suppose we'll just have to agree to disagree on this one."

"For now," I said, unwilling to back down.

Edward agreed, "For now."

I smiled and nestled back into the side of his body.

"So... our first fight?" Edward said, more a statement than a question. I raised my head to look at him curiously, wondering where he was taking this.

"You know what I love about fights?" Edward asked, an eyebrow raised rakishly. My own eyebrow elevated in response.

"What?" I asked.

"Making up," he responded as he kissed me on the nose and I laughed. Edward caught my lips in a kiss that left me spinning and he pulled the coverlets up over our heads as we lost ourselves in our own little world. Right then I wished I could stop time and stay forever in that moment, because at that moment, all felt right with the world.

**Haha, so much for a two-bedroom suite, huh? Anyways, stay tuned for the next chapter and new twists! Dun dun dun. They aren't out of the fire yet is all I can say! If you love this story (or even if you hate it), don't forget to review!**

**Love,**

**starrytwilightgirl**

**By the way, I'm a beta reader now, so if you have any stories... SEND 'EM IN!!! :)**


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